


Crazy Changes

by SwanQueenUK



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Bisexual, Character Development, F/F, Fingering, First Time, First time transgender sex, Friendship, Oral Sex, Romance, Song based fic, Swallowing, Transgender, Transgender Issues, it's not all about sex, slowburn, swanqueen - Freeform, transgender character, transgender sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-08-12 20:24:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 139,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7947799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwanQueenUK/pseuds/SwanQueenUK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A chance encounter in a bar changes Emma Swan's life forever. One of those changes is the arrival of Regina Mills in her small town. But there's more to the newcomer than meets the eye and when Emma finds out the truth behind a family feud, she must re-evaluate everything she thought she knew. Slow burn SwanQueen. E for transgender sex in Chs 18, 22 and 23</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Big Night Out

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hey my lovely readers. Oh I’ve missed writing AUs! Much as I enjoy Missed Moments (which will be weekly once the sixth season starts, by the way) I love developing characters and plots even more. Ok so this story is inspired by a music video which I was directed towards by c.miller1991. Full credit to her and the singer/songwriter for the idea I’m using. Now, I’m not going to tell you which song yet (you may guess as you read) but I would really, really like you to take the time to scan the A/N at the end of this and search YouTube for the song in question. AFTER you’re read the chapter, ok? Thanks. 
> 
> Also, I promise you this is a SwanQueen story even if the first 5,000 words suggest otherwise. Stick with me and you won’t be disappointed. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think in regards to how this story is beginning.

The last of the grain flew through the air, scattering across the scratched ground as the birds dove towards their food. Emma watched them for a moment, smiling, before she turned with the empty bucket in her hand and picked her way through the chickens and ducks back to the main garden. With the gate of the pen latched behind her, she put the bucket back in the feed shed and headed into the house to finish getting ready.

Her hair was misbehaving. She glared at it in the mirror as she tried to twist blonde strands up into a delicate-looking knot on the top of her head. Eventually she gave up and settled for her usual messy plait, adding a couple of bluejay feathers part way down to make it look like she’d put some effort in. It was Saturday night, after all. Her pale eyelashes disappeared beneath mascara and then her lips were outlined to make them look just a little bit bigger, plumper than they really were. Tiny silver bird earrings were hooked through, dangling delicately next to her slender neck. Around her neck hung the swan pendant she always wore. Happy with her appearance, she turned her attention to her closet.

Hands on hips, she surveyed her outfits. The black skinny jeans were easy; she knew they made her ass look amazing. But what to pair with them? She tossed the jeans onto her bed and scanned her blouses. Glancing at the feathers in her hair, she tried to match the colours. The bluejay’s striking plumage drew her towards a vivid sapphire but she hesitated, deciding it was too early in the year for such a colour and her skin would look too pallid. It was only March and there was still the chill of winter in the air. So she reached instead for a grey-blue silk blouse, still coordinating with the feathers but a less intense shade. Satisfied with her choices, she returned to her garden.

It took ten minutes to usher all of the chickens and the ducks into their respective houses. She appreciated the red fox’s beauty and cunning but she wasn’t about to offer him up an all you can eat buffet … again. When the doors were safely fastened shut, Emma walked back to the wooden bungalow she called home and finally donned her chosen outfit. Once her boots were pulled on and zipped up, cash and cell phone stuffed into her purse, and the lights all turned off, she headed out of the house.

* * *

“Hey! The usual?”

Emma nodded and smiled at her friend as she slid into her regular bar stool and looked around. It was still early and there weren’t many people in The Rabbit Hole yet. The steady hum of music and the DJ setting up in the corner told Emma it was going to get busier soon though, as it always did on a Saturday night. Storybrooke might not be the biggest town but there was a lively social scene amongst its younger residents.

A chilled bottle of beer appeared in front of her, closely followed by her best friend’s face.

“You know we’re about to run out of these. If you want us to order more you’d better talk to August,” Ruby said, her bright red hair catching the spotlight behind the bar and making it look like she was on fire.

“Already? Geez,” Emma said. “Is that a sign I come here too much?”

“Perhaps,” Ruby said. “Or perhaps it’s a sign that you need to move on from your vacation. It was almost two years ago, Emma. Get over the Bahamas and start drinking American beer again.”

Emma laughed. “Nope! This stuff is the best.”

She put the rim of the bottle to her lips and took a long drag, exhaling loudly as she placed the drink back on the beer mat just to prove she enjoyed it. Ruby rolled her eyes and moved off down the bar to serve another customer.

“I think it’s pretty darn great too.”

Emma looked to her left and her eyebrows rose. Sat beside her was an elderly man, his fingers curled around the neck of another Kalik beer bottle. An impressive but old-fashioned moustache framed his grinning mouth and his head was covered with light grey hairs to match. He was rather thin but looked like he had been a man of substance when he was younger. He didn’t look like The Rabbit Hole’s usual customer but, Emma supposed, there was no age restriction which worked the opposite way around to the usual one.

“Right?” Emma said, smiling at her ally. “It reminds me of summer.”

“It makes me think of a certain little lady friend I met one year on that island,” the old man mused, his pale blue eyes becoming unfocused suddenly as the memory drifted back to him.

Emma laughed. “Holiday romances are always the best. And the worst.”

The man chuckled and held out his hand. “I’m Henry.”

“Emma,” she smiled, shaking firmly. “I haven’t seen you here before. Are you local?”

“Yes,” Henry said. “I’ve been living here over a decade now. But I don’t come into the town much, nor the bars when I do make the trip.”

“Well now you know where you can get Kalik, I’m sure I’ll see you around much more often,” Emma said.

“Quite possibly,” Henry chuckled. And then he coughed. A harsh, ragged sound which made Emma wince slightly. It sounded painful. But after a moment, Henry seemed to recover and turned back to the blonde. “So, Emma, what do you do?”

Emma took another long drink of her beer before answering. “I’m a wildlife photographer. Birds mostly. I spend my days on the lake and the surrounding woodlands with my camera. I love my work but sometimes I get completely lost in it. If there’s a specific bird in season but they’re really hard to spot, for example. There might be weeks when I only come into the town on Saturday nights and then I start going stir crazy because I haven’t spoken to people in days.”

“Oh I know the feeling,” Henry said. “Sundays are my social days usually. The congregation out at Norwalk are like family to me.”

“You’re a church-goer?”

“Of course, aren’t you?” Henry said, frowning slightly at the blonde.

Emma felt herself blush under the man’s scrutinising gaze. She took a swig of her beer before formulating a reply she thought Henry might find acceptable that wasn’t an outright lie.

“I mean, yeah. Kinda. Not regularly, I suppose. Not as often as my parents would want me to go. But sometimes. The big holidays, for example.”

“God is great, Emma,” Henry said. “You should bear that in mind.”

Emma nodded and sipped her beer to avoid answering. She had been brought up religious, had gone to church every Sunday but once she moved away from her foster family that habit had slipped steadily until she found herself only entering the sacred buildings a few times a year. She thought she’d better not tell Henry that, however. Religion meant a lot to most people living in Ohio and the surrounding states of the Mid-West.

“So what brought you down here today?” Emma asked.

Henry glanced around the bar. It was still fairly empty but there were a few groups of young people gathered around. Ruby was serving some lads Emma knew to be fishermen on the lake and several of them had already tried to catch her eye since they arrived minutes before. And failed.

“I just fancied a change of scene,” Henry said turning back to Emma. “It gets lonely up in my big old house sometimes. I miss talking to people.”

“You’re not married?”

“Divorced,” Henry said.

“Sorry,” Emma offered.

“Don’t be,” Henry said. “It was my decision and one of the best I ever made.”

Emma’s eyebrows rose and she decided not to ask any more questions about family. She cast around for a topic to lighten the mood.

“So, this Trump fellow. Bit of a twat, isn’t he?”

It didn’t work. Henry lowered the bottle which had been about to touch his lips back to the bar and turned slowly towards his new drinking buddy.

“Excuse me?” he said.

“I mean,” Emma said, hastily backtracking. “I’m just not sure he has the interests of every citizen of this country at heart.”

“I’d say we would all benefit from tighter border controls and a return to some traditional values.”

Emma swallowed. She really didn’t want to get into an argument about Trump because once she started, she could go for hours about that despicable human being and she got the feeling Henry was a die-hard Republican. Perhaps questions about Henry’s ex-wife would have been more enjoyable. Just as Emma was wracking her brains for a subject matter which wouldn’t create any friction between them, Ruby appeared and rescued her.

“Another couple of Kaliks for the weirdos over here?” she asked, flipping a towel over her shoulder and winking at Henry.

“Please,” Emma nodded, draining what was left of her bottle. “Put them on my tab.”

“You don’t have to, Emma,” Henry said but the blonde held up her hand.

“It’s fine,” she assured. “You can get the next round.”

Henry sat up a little straighter on his bar stool, smiling at the thought of spending more time with the blonde woman. He hadn’t realised how much he missed speaking to the younger generation until that night. They were hardly well represented at church. His chest began to ache again and he coughed, trying to hide the raspy spluttering in his hand but he could see Emma looking curiously at him out of the corner of her eye. He didn’t say anything though. And she didn’t ask.

“So, tell me, Emma,” Henry said, thanking Ruby as his next beer arrived, “what does a beautiful woman like you do in a backwards town like this for fun?”

Emma laughed. “Oh I wouldn’t say Storybrooke was backwards, just … classic. And I spend most of my time either out by the lake for work or here in the bar, to be honest. Ruby,” she pointed to the lanky red-head now pulling a pint of lager for a fisherman, “is my best friend and she works here most nights. The owner’s a friend too, so this became a social meeting place as well as somewhere which stocks my favourite beer.”

“The owner of this bar is August, right?”

“You know him?” Emma asked. “How?”

“He did some carpentry work for me a few years back and told me to drop in if I was ever in town. Great guy. Both with wood and personality.”

Emma nodded her agreement. “Yeah, he is.”

She glanced quickly around the bar, searching for the man they were speaking of but not finding him. He’d probably be in later, she mused.

“Old flame?”

Emma blushed and turned back to Henry. “How did you know?”

The old man offered a sympathetic look. “I can spot a broken heart a mile off, my dear.”

“Oh he didn’t break my heart,” Emma said. “It was nothing serious or anything. We grew up together. Fooled around, you know. We had fun but it’s over now.”

Henry raised an eyebrow. Emma’s blush deepened.

“Mostly over.”

The old man threw his head back and laughed deeply. Emma couldn’t help but join him. Ruby glanced at the two of them with a curious expression before resuming her task of chopping lemons for some gin and tonics.

“You’re a great one, Emma,” Henry said, clapping her on the back and shaking his head in amusement. “You know, in my day, it wasn’t seen as proper for a lady to play the field. I’m glad to see that’s changed.”

“Oh yeah?” Emma asked. “And why’s that?”

“Well I’d had my fair share of fun growing up,” he said, “and it became depressingly obvious on my wedding night that my wife had absolutely no idea what she was doing. Just lay there like a wet fish and expected me to do all the work. It took months for her to learn. Nightmare!”

Emma laughed again. “That doesn’t sound like a good end to what’s supposed to be the best day of your life!”

“It wasn’t!” Henry exclaimed. “I mean, she was fine once I’d bedded her in but I couldn’t help but think of all the girls I’d been with who were far better and more adventurous. I sometimes wonder how different my life would have been if I’d married Barbara instead of Cora, for example. Oh, she was a wild one.”

“If only we had a time machine, eh?” Emma said.

“Where would you go back to?” Henry asked.

Emma thought for a moment. “My high school prom,” she decided.

“That is such a girl thing to say!” Henry chortled. “Ok, why? What would you change?”

“I wouldn’t have gone,” Emma said simply. “I spent all evening dancing with this kid called Neal Cassidy who had said he wanted to give me his virginity that night. I waited for six hours and then … nothing! I should have just gone to August’s like I usually did on a Saturday night and actually had a good time.”

Henry let out a squeal of delight, slapping his hand on the bar with mirth as Emma chugged back some more beer. Despite their obvious political and religious differences, the blonde was feeling herself warm to the old man. He might have been religious and a Trump supporter but he was also, clearly, a bit of a hell-raiser in his youth.

“What about you? Aside from changing your choice of wife, when would you go back to?” Emma asked.

Henry thought for a moment before answering. “Probably the day I was first offered one of these,” he said, pulling out a packet of cigarettes from his pants and flipping it open. He placed the slender stick between his mouth and patted his breast pockets of his white linen shirt, looking for a lighter. “If I hadn’t accepted, I wouldn’t have smoked twenty a day for my entire life. Think of all the money I’d have saved.”

He flicked his zippo open and put the tip of the cigarette to the flame. Taking a deep drag, he exhaled slowly and turned to Emma. “Want one?”

“I don’t smoke,” Emma said. “And I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to light up inside in public places any more.” She glanced at Ruby who was at the other end of the bar and hadn’t noticed the illegal act yet.

“Oh yeah,” Henry said, pulling the cigarette from his mouth. “I forgot. Well, I’m gonna nip outside and speed up my death then. I love them but these damn things will kill me sooner or later. See you in a bit.”

Emma saluted him with her beer as he slid from his stool and wandered outside. Despite being old, Emma could still see a distinctive swagger in his gait. She suspected he had been quite the player as a young man.

“Made a new bestie?” Ruby asked, leaning against the bar opposite the blonde and taking advantage of the lull in service.

“Yep,” Emma announced. “You’ve been officially replaced.”

Ruby acted offended and turned to storm off but Emma reached over the bar and grasped her arm, laughing. The red-head chuckled and resumed her position, leaning over to take a sip of Emma’s beer. She might give her friend grief about her love of the imported beer but she had to confess the fruity flavour was rather pleasant.

“See, you do like it,” Emma said, taking the bottle back.

“It’s more that it’s free,” Ruby replied. “Anyway, I never said I didn’t like it. I just don’t see why you insist on August ordering it in all the time. You’re so fussy.”

Emma laughed. Fussy was not a word often used to describe Emma Swan.

“When’s August due?” she asked, casting an eye around and noting that the bar had already become busier.

“Has someone got an itch that needs scratching?” Ruby teased. “You’re breaking old Henry’s heart, you know. I reckon he thought he was in with you.”

Emma punched Ruby on the arm and stuck out her tongue. Ruby just laughed at her and glanced at the clock above the bar.

“He said he’d be here about eleven,” she said.

Emma nodded. She didn’t really have an itch. Well, it might have been a few months since she had seen any action. But she wasn’t at the point of calling August just yet. Their regular meetings had petered out years ago and Emma was reluctant to fall back into the habit. She loved August as a friend but nothing more was ever going to happen between them. Still, she mused, if the bar wasn’t going to bring in any new faces tonight, perhaps she would end up taking August back to hers.

“We need a night out in the city some time,” Ruby mused. “There’s not enough young people in this town.”

“That’s not the problem,” Emma said. “The problem is that between us we’ve slept with most of the eligible ones and have decided against them. We’re too picky, you know.”

“Why settle?” Ruby shrugged. “And neither of us have tried Henry, maybe you should take him for a test drive.”

Emma snorted into her drink just as the old man himself reappeared.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, climbing back onto his seat.

Emma’s cheeks reddened but Ruby jumped in, for once, to save her. Well, sort of.

“Oh we were just discussing which of the guys at the end of the bar would be most suitable for Emma. What do you think, Henry? The one with the plaid shirt or the guy with the blonde buzz cut?”

Henry squinted through the bar and surveyed the group of fishermen. Emma narrowed her eyes at Ruby who had pointed out two of her exes to the man before turning back to see what Henry’s verdict was.

“What about the black guy with the tattoo on his forearm?” Henry suggested.

Emma’s eyes widened and she glanced at Ruby who laughed. “He’s kinda taken, Henry,” she said. “By me.” She waved at Billy who smiled widely at her. Clearly he was far more invested in their relationship that Ruby was but she smiled back before turning to Emma and Henry again.

“Well, I guess you’ll be settling for August again then,” Ruby said to her friend and before Emma could reply, she scooted away down the bar to serve some new customers.

“Don’t do that,” Henry said. “Life’s too short to spend it with someone who doesn’t make you happy.”

Emma turned to him. “Do you regret your marriage then?”

Henry cocked his head. “No,” he replied after a while. “I don’t regret my daughter. Zelena’s a great girl. Working up in Chicago as a doctor now and making me very proud.”

“Just the one kid?”

Henry hesitated. “I had a son too.”

Emma caught the use of the past tense and decided not to ask any more. She didn’t think Henry really wanted to talk about his family. Just then however, two people arrived at the bar beside them that Emma didn’t recognised. Early tourists, she supposed. The man was tall and had a scruffy beard, dark hair, and piercing blue eyes. The girl with him looked strikingly similar. Siblings, Emma presumed. Henry caught her distraction and turned to see what, or who, she was looking at.

“Good evening,” Henry said to the girl who was stood beside him. “What brings you to our fine town?”

“Hi,” the girl said, a foreign accent detectable in just the one word. “Our parents have just moved here and we’re visiting from the UK.”

“Across the pond, eh?” Henry said, holding out his hand. “I’m Henry and this is Emma. Welcome to Storybrooke.”

“Lima,” she replied. “And this is my brother Killian.”

“Good evening,” Killian said, shaking Henry’s hand and nodded at Emma with a dazzling smile. “Are you two local?”

“Indeed,” Emma said with a nod.

“Then perhaps you wouldn’t mind giving us the tour some time,” he said. “Our parents haven’t managed to show us anywhere remotely interesting yet. It’s just been nature walks and bird watching.”

Emma laughed, deciding it was best not to reply since that sounded exactly like the tour she always gave visiting friends or family members.

“Can we buy you a drink?” Henry said.

“Erm, yes, thanks,” Lima said. “What are you drinking?”

Henry held up his beer and showed it to her.

“The Bahamas?” she asked. “I wouldn’t have expected to find that here.”

“Blame me,” Emma said. “I got addicted to the stuff when I went on vacation a couple of years ago and have made this place order it in especially for me ever since.”

“I’ll try one,” Lima said. “But Killian will have a rum, I suspect.”

The man laughed and nodded his agreement. Emma waved Ruby over and placed their order before turning back to the siblings.

“So, Lima. Unusual name. Where’s it from?”

“I was conceived in Peru,” she replied. “And my parents decided to lumber me with it. Obviously school wasn’t fun.”

“Is it fun for anyone?” Emma chuckled.

An hour later The Rabbit Hole was packed and a steady beat was resonating through the speakers. Henry tugged Emma to her feet and they made their way out onto the dance floor. Killian and Lima followed. Above them fairy lights twinkled and cast flashes of colours over the crowd. Emma and Lima moved between Henry and Killian, dancing with each man for a while before switching back. Emma threw her head back in delight as she watched Henry try to copy Killian’s admittedly impressive moves before the old man pulled her into a classical dance hold and they waltzed through the crowd to cheers and whoops from the other patrons. August arrived soon after midnight and kissed Emma on the cheek, nodded to Killian, and headed towards the bar. Minutes later, Killian took the blonde in his arms and murmured something Emma didn’t quite catch in her ear. It didn’t matter. She got the gist.

By the time last call came just before two in the morning, she didn’t want to know what her bar tab was totalling but she ordered three more Kaliks and another double rum for her new friend. Henry and Lima were still dancing but she and Killian leaned against the bar, watching the emptying space as customers filed out into the night.

“Well,” he said after a while, “I suppose we should leave too.”

Emma nodded slowly, trying to make up her mind about how she wanted the night to end. It would be so easy to ask Killian back to hers. She wouldn’t see him again. He had already told her his flight was booked for the following Monday. And their heated kisses on the dance floor had certainly stirred something deep inside her. But she watched as Henry stumbled slightly against Lima and decided against it.

“Yeah,” she said. “I’d better make sure that one gets home.”

She deposited her empty beer on the bar and made her way over to Henry. She laughed as he tried to get her to dance again and steered him gently out into the street where a few taxis were waiting for the stragglers. The cool air hit his lungs and he coughed again, leaning against the wall as his whole body shuddered. Emma’s eyebrows knitted in concern but the old man insisted he was fine.

“Thanks for a great night, Emma,” Henry said as he sat down heavily in the back of a cab. “I’m so glad I met you. And Lima.”

Emma laughed. “I’m glad I met you too, Henry. I hope to see you around soon. Now, have you got enough money to get back to yours?”

The man nodded and tapped his pocket. Emma leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Good night then,” she said. “I’ll be seeing you.”

She closed the door and watched as the cab pulled away before returning to the now almost empty bar. Killian and Lima were still there, settling up their tab. August was nowhere to be seen.

“Ready?”

Ruby appeared beside her and dangled her car keys in front of the blonde’s face.

“Yep,” she nodded. “Bye Lima, Killian. It was great meeting you guys. Let me know if you’re visiting your parents again and we’ll meet up.”

Together, she and Ruby left the bar. The drive through the silent streets was quick and Emma’s alcohol fuzzed brain didn’t even have time to send her to sleep before Ruby was pulling up outside the bungalow. She thanked her friend for the lift and got out, waving as the car pulled away and headed off down the road. Stumbling slightly up the steps, Emma fished for her keys in the pocket of her jeans and unlocked the door to her bungalow. She dumped everything on the side table and shuffled through to her bedroom. The clothes landed in a pile beside her bed and she climbed, naked, into the cool sheets. Sleep claimed her within seconds.

* * *

The next week flashed by and Emma only made it into town to see Ruby once. She had spotted a glossy ibis on Monday afternoon and spent the rest of her week trying to photograph it. Most shots hadn’t come out as she had wished but on Friday morning she hit the jackpot. The shot captured the elegant bird was picking its way between the reeds growing at the edge of the lake, its curved beak beneath the water as it searched for food. The sun was sparkling off the water’s surface and the colours of the feathers were striking and vivid. She had already sent a copy of it to National Geographic whom she knew had been looking for that particular bird for months. She sensed a decent paycheque heading her way soon. Thank goodness. She didn’t need the hassle of her electricity being cut off again and she desperately needed to renew the roof on the duck house.

On Saturday morning she strolled into town, enjoying the warm March weather and greeting various townsfolk. Reaching the corner store, she ducked inside to buy some supplies. She had run out of milk and the black coffee she had drunk with breakfast was still tart on her tongue. Milk, bread (both for herself and the ducks), and some apples purchased, she was just leaving the shop when she saw it.

The billboard was propped against the wall, the front page of the day’s paper displayed upon it and there, staring up at her, was a familiar face. Scanning the title, she turned and walked back inside, grabbing a copy of the Storybrooke Gazette as she went. Still standing at the counter, she began to read.

_Henry Mills, founder and CEO of Mills Machinery, died yesterday after suffering from lung cancer. The millionaire moved to Storybrooke eleven years ago and continued to manage his booming business up until a few months previous when his health deteriorated. He leaves behind an ex-wife and two children. Mills will be remembered by those who knew him for his wicked sense of humour, his love of life, and his devout faith. Members of the Narwalk congregation have spoken of his passing. “He was a wonderful man,” remembers Delia Martin. “We will miss him greatly,” Vicar Tucker added, when told of the news._

_Mills Machinery was founded in 1973 by a young and eager mechanic. Beginning with a small workshop in Madison, Wisconsin, it has since expanded nationwide with stores in most cities and an international export business. Mills balanced his work with a twenty year marriage to Cora Mills, nee Brown, but the two separated over “irreconcilable differences”. She has not been contactable for comment on his passing._

_Henry was diagnosed with lung cancer just seven months ago. A life-long smoker, he had been known to joke with friends about how his habit would kill him sooner or later and he opted not to pursue chemotherapy, despite favourable odds of the treatment being successful._

“Oh sorry,” Emma said, as she was nudged gently sideways by someone trying to pay for their groceries. She hadn’t realised she was still standing in front of the cashier.

She folded the newspaper and hurried from the store and out into the street. Instead of heading towards the cafe where she was supposed to be meeting Ruby for lunch, she walked back to her bungalow, eager to read the rest of the article.

Dead. Henry Mills was dead. She knew she hadn’t known him long. A few hours didn’t exactly constitute much of a friendship but she still felt a great sense of loss. She had really liked the old man and had truly hoped to see him again. He had been fun, different, and someone she was intrigued by. She imagined he had many raucous tales which had gone untold and she was saddened by the fact that she’d never see him again.

Reading the rest of the article didn’t make her feel any happier. He certainly had been a remarkable man. From creating a successful company to his interest in racehorses, his brief service during the Vietnam War and his scholarship program he started with universities, encouraging young people to get involved in mechanics. Emma lay on the couch and re-read the article several times before her cell phone rang and an annoyed Ruby asked where the hell she was.

Ruby was sympathetic when she heard the news but still told Emma to get her ass down to the cafe before her coffee went cold. She did, the lure of the rich, brown drink enough to persuade her to leave the newspaper on the table and head out to join her friend.

* * *

Emma thought of Henry Mills several times over the next few days. In fact she was thinking of him on Wednesday morning when her cell phone rang.

“Hello,” she said, answering the unfamiliar number because it had a local area code.

“Good morning, is this Miss Emma Swan?”

“Speaking,” Emma nodded.

“My name is Robert Gold and I’m calling from Gold Associates.”

“The legal firm?” Emma frowned. She knew the name, having seen the offices in Norwalk whenever she drove through the town. She didn’t know, however, why or how they had got her number.

“Yes,” came the reply. “I’m the executive of the estate of the deceased Henry Mills. I believe you knew him?”

“I did,” Emma nodded.

“Would you be able to come down to the office, please. Today, if possible. There are some things we need to discuss.”

Later that night Emma lay on her couch, staring at the ceiling. Sole heir? The only beneficiary named in Henry Mills’ will, which he had changed two days before his death. A country manor house worth over two million dollars, a booming mechanics company grossing over twenty million dollars a year, and so many bank accounts she had lost track when Gold had talked her through it. All hers. She took another swig of the Kalik bottle she held and closed her eyes. What the fuck had just happened? It was completely crazy.

* * *

The chickens were making such a racket that Emma didn’t hear the doorbell ring the following Saturday morning. She was trying to separate the young male chicks from their mother, knowing they were reaching sexual maturity and needing to catch them to take to market. She hated it, but it was part of owning the birds. It wasn’t until she heard her name being called that she stood up. She puffed her flyaway hair from her eyes and wiped her sweaty brow with the back of a dirty hand, leaving a streak of grime on her skin, and looked inquisitively at the woman standing in her garden. An expensive-looking tailored suit, elegant heels which were slowly sinking into the soft earth, perfect make-up, and a flawless cropped hairstyle. The brunette before Emma was clearly from out of town. No one that beautiful stayed in Storybrooke for long.

“Emma Swan?” she said again.

“Yeah,” Emma nodded, making her way towards the edge of the enclosure and leaning on the fence. “Who are you?”

“I’m Regina Mills,” the woman said. “Henry Mills’ daughter.”


	2. Three Confusing Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: guys, thank you so much for all the interest in this story. Really glad you’re enjoying it so far and I hope you continue to do so. I’m travelling home over the next couple of days so writing/publishing isn’t going to be possible but I hope once I’m settled back into my routine the chapters will be every other day. I’m going for longer chapters but less often for this fic, if that’s ok with you guys …

“Are you sure about this?”

Regina looked up the overgrown path towards the small wooden bungalow and nodded. She needed to do this. It was her only chance. Cora Mills sighed at her daughter’s determination but she understood. She had always stood by every decision her youngest child had made.

“I’ll be right here.”

“Thanks Mom,” Regina said, turning to smile at her mother sitting beside her in the car. She leaned across the console and placed a soft kiss to the other woman’s cheek before getting out.

She picked her way through the spidery garden, the morning dew wetting the legs of her pants as she walked. The wooden steps up to the bungalow creaked as she climbed, the pale blue paint of the building looking far more tatty as she approached the front door. Whatever she had been expecting, it wasn’t this. She rang the doorbell.

After a full minute of waiting, Regina glanced back at her mother who she could see watching her anxiously from the road. Not wanting to give up, however, Regina headed around the side of the house. The light in the kitchen suggested that someone was home. She found the gate to the back garden ajar and pushed it wider. The wood splintered and swayed dangerously. She ducked through quickly, not wanting to leave a trail of destruction in her wake. As she walked down the narrow alley between the house and a hedge, the sound of chickens reached her ears.

The back garden was larger than she had anticipated. A neat vegetable patch ran along one side and a potting shed stood against the opposite fence. At the foot of the garden was a large enclosure where ducks and chickens appeared to be rather distressed. As she stepped out onto the lawn, a blonde woman straightened up behind one of the hen-houses. Her back was to Regina but her breath still hitched in her throat. Her feet froze. For a moment, she considered turning around, climbing in the car and driving back to Chicago. But she managed to stop herself. She needed to do this. She cleared her throat.

“Excuse me, are you Emma Swan?”

The woman didn’t appear to have heard her. Which was hardly surprising Regina mused, since the chickens were making such a noise. She walked towards the fence just as the woman swooped down and captured a young-looking cockerel and put him into a cordoned off area of the pen. It wasn’t until Regina reached the fence that she tried again.

“Emma Swan?”

The blonde straightened once more and turned, wiping her face as she did so. A brown streak of what Regina hoped was only mud but suspected was much worse, appeared on her forehead. Green eyes roved over her, taking in the appearance of a stranger in her garden.

“Emma Swan?” Regina repeated.

“Yeah,” came a reply at last as Emma walked towards the fence, picking her way between her birds who clucked and squawked as they scattered. The blonde leaned against a fence post casually and asked, “who are you?”

“I’m Regina Mills,” she replied. “Henry Mill’s daughter.”

The words felt heavy on her tongue. She hadn’t said his name out loud in years. Emma’s eyes widened in realisation and her cheeks blushed slightly. Regina wasn’t sure what to make of that reaction but sensed that she might have the upper hand when it came to their conversation. The recent turn of fortune for the young blonde seemingly hadn’t sunk in yet. She stayed quiet, waiting for Emma to speak.

“Um, ok … do you want a coffee?”

“Yes please,” Regina said with a slight smile.

Not only would she feel more comfortable having the imminent conversation sitting down with something in her hands but she was also unable to resist the lure of the rich, brown liquid. Emma nodded shortly and unlatched the gate. She stepped into the garden and beckoned silently for Regina to follow her up to the house.

The back door was already open and Emma kicked off her boots carelessly and they landed in a pile beside a rotting swing bench. Regina bent to daintily remove her own heels before padding after the blonde who had disappeared towards the kitchen. Emma waved towards a seat as she asked if Regina wanted caffeinated or decaffeinated. Once assured that Regina would be drinking normal coffee, Emma pulled a bag of roasted beans towards her and then turned to a shiny new grinder. From the look of concentration of Emma’s face as she poured in their beans and then began to turn the handle it was a very recent acquisition. Regina could guess how it had been funded. Emma worked in silence and ten minutes later there was steaming cup of coffee placed in front of Regina.

“So,” Emma said as she took her seat, “I guess you’re here to contest the will?”

“Not exactly,” Regina replied. “Although that is the subject of my visit, I suppose.”

Emma had been expecting some sort of backlash from Henry’s family. After all, who wouldn’t be up in arms if their father had left millions of dollars to a perfect stranger. Although Mr Gold had assured her that there was no legal reason why the inheritance couldn’t transfer to her, Regina’s appearance had not come as a surprise.

“Long drive from Chicago,” Emma said. “You could have just called.”

“I wanted to-. How did you know I live in Chicago?” Regina frowned.

“Your father mentioned it,” Emma replied, pleased to be able to prove she did at least know the old man a little. “You’re a doctor, right?”

“No, that’s my sister, Zelena,” Regina replied.

“Oh,” Emma said. “Um, sorry, what did you say your name was again?”

Regina raised her eyebrows slightly. “Regina,” she repeated.

“Oh,” Emma said again. “I don’t think your dad mentioned you.”

A flash of pain passed across Regina’s features before she could stop it. She didn’t know why it still hurt. It had been over a decade now; she should be used to the fact that her father didn’t acknowledge her existence. Even from beyond the grave.

“My father and I didn’t get along,” Regina said after a moment.

“I’m sorry,” Emma offered. And she was. She had landed in several bad foster homes before she had finally been adopted at the age of seven. She couldn’t have wished for a better father than David Nolan and knew his support and guidance was the reason she was living her dream as a wildlife photographer. Without him and his wife, Mary Margaret, Emma dreaded to think what might have happened to her. Everyone deserved loving parents.

“Anyway,” Regina said, interrupting Emma’s thoughts about her adoptive parents, “I came down here today to speak to you in person about the money my father left you.”

“So you do want to contest the will,” Emma said, folding her arms.

“No,” Regina replied. “As you probably know, we can’t. He did everything right. Legally, at least. Although goodness knows how his friend at the pearly gates viewed one of his final acts.”

“You’re not religious?” Emma asked, surprised. She assumed Henry’s family had been die-hard Christians like himself.

“According to my father, I’m not welcome in the house of God,” Regina said, a bite in her tone. “I’ve not stepped foot in a church since I was thirteen.”

Was that the reason for the family argument? Emma mused. His daughter’s lack of faith? It seemed a little pathetic, even for a life-long believer like Henry. But before she could ask any more, Regina spoke again.

“I know the money is rightly yours, and I know you have no obligation to me, but I’ve come here to ask you a favour. Or for a loan, if you’d prefer.”

Emma’s eyes widened slightly. So it was about money. Of course it was. Over thirty million dollars wasn’t just thrown at you with no repercussions. Of course the vultures of his family were already circling. Emma leaned back in her chair and folded her arms, nodding for Regina to continue.

“Without sounding callous, I’ve been counting on this inheritance for a long time. I don’t earn much money and my mother doesn’t work any more. I’ve tried saving but rent in Chicago is getting more expensive every year and it’s just impossible. I don’t know how much longer I can keep on living as I am and -,”

“How much do you want?” Emma interrupted.

Regina swallowed thickly. “Thirty thousand dollars.”

Three days ago Emma would have balked at that amount of money. Now it was less than one per cent of her total net worth. But despite it being a comparative drop in the ocean, she still frowned.

“You want me to give you thirty thousand dollars of your father’s money which he left to me,” Emma said slowly. Regina nodded. “And then I suppose Zelena will want some. And then your mother too.”

She didn’t mean to sound angry but Emma had been warned about the dangers of coming into large amounts of money. Everyone came for a handout and if you gave to one person, it was difficult not to give to them all.

“Zelena’s got money,” Regina said at once. “And my mother doesn’t want anything to do with my father’s money. She didn’t want me to come today actually but, when I insisted on visiting, she travelled down with me for moral support.”

Emma glanced out of the kitchen window at that and saw an old Mercedes parked on the street, a silhouette visible in the driver’s seat. Cora Mills, Henry’s ex-wife, outside her house. Her world was well and truly crazy.

“So why not borrow off your sister?” Emma asked, turning back to the brunette. “Why come to a stranger to ask for money which belonged to a man whom you seemingly disliked, who specifically didn’t leave his fortune to you?”

Regina sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She hadn’t wanted to tell this woman what she needed the money for. It was a private, intimate matter and she didn’t like to speak about it with people who weren’t aware of her situation. Even in the twenty-first century, people still struggled to accept her unusual circumstances.

“I need to have some surgery,” Regina said eventually. “Zelena’s not exactly supportive.”

“Oh.”

There was an awkward silence, like when you bump into a friend at the doctor’s surgery and ask ‘how are you?’ without thinking. Emma sipped her coffee and avoiding looking at Regina.

“Look, I don’t need an answer today,” Regina said, “but I’d really appreciate it if you would consider my request. I appreciate it’s a big ask and I know to most people it’s a lot of money. Believe me, I’ve been trying to get the cash together for over five years. But you’re rich now and this would really be life-changing for me.”

Emma cocked her head and looked at the earnest young woman before her. She could tell that whatever was going on meant a great deal to Regina. Her brown eyes were shining with tears and her lip was trembling. As she looked at her mouth, Emma noticed the faintest trace of a scar on her upper lip, almost perfectly hidden by make-up. She briefly wondered what had caused the injury but then Regina stood up, leaving her half drunk coffee on the table. Emma refocused on what the brunette was saying and accepted her thanks for her time and the drink before following the unannounced guest through to the front door.

“Here’s my card,” Regina said, handing the contact details over before slipping her heels back on. “Whenever you’ve thought about it, please let me know.”

Emma nodded mutely and opened the door. She watched as the brunette walked down the path and climbed into the Mercedes. As soon as the car door shut, the engine started and the driver sped off, evidently wanting to get away from the house as fast as possible. Emma slowly closed the door to her bungalow and leaned against it, her fingers rubbing over the embossed face of the card she was still holding.

After a minute or so, she made her way back to the kitchen and washed up the coffee cups. She then wandered through to the lounge and collapsed onto the couch, completely forgetting she had been in the middle of separating her chickens from the young cocks. She closed her eyes and allowed her mind to process what had happened that morning.

Henry had mentioned Zelena, of that Emma was certain. Although they had been drinking that night, she was still able to remember their conversation. And Regina had confirmed that she had a sister living in Chicago who was working as a doctor. But Henry had not mentioned Regina. He’d mentioned a son, she knew, but used the past tense. She reached for the coffee table under which a copy of Henry’s obituary was staring up at her and glanced through the first line of the text.

_He leaves behind an ex-wife and two children._

Regina and Zelena. That was two. So what about the son? Emma supposed if he had died then the newspaper wouldn’t have mentioned him. But why had Henry not said anything about Regina? From what Emma had gleaned from their brief encounter, there was nothing to be embarrassed about when it came to the brunette. She was clearly intelligent, polite, well-mannered (despite asking for thirty thousand dollars), and beautiful. So why would Henry not acknowledge her existence? Was Regina conning her? Was she not really Henry Mills’ daughter? No, the family resemblance had been unmistakable. They had the same eyes. She had no doubt in her mind that Regina had been Henry’s daughter but what she couldn’t work out was why their precious father-daughter relationship had broken down so completely.What had happened in that family?

She reached for her cell and dialled her friend’s number.

* * *

“Can I have thirty grand?” Ruby asked as she hopped up on the counter besides the sink, watching Emma chopping some vegetables for their impromptu lunch.

“No,” Emma replied.

“But you’re considering giving it to a complete stranger?” Ruby pouted.

“She needs surgery,” Emma reasoned. “Do you need surgery?”

Ruby looked down at her chest and squeezed her elbows together, pushing her already decent cleavage higher.

“I don’t think Billy would complain.”

Emma laughed and slapped her friend on the leg with a tea towel.

“Life-threatening surgery,” she amended.

“Oh, no,” Ruby replied. “But one could argue that my car is life-threatening. Will you give me money to get a new one before it collapses into a steaming hunk of metal one night?”

Emma ignored her friend. It wasn’t that she wasn’t generous and in the future, when she was used to being rich for the first time in her life, she probably would be happy to buy Ruby a car. But at that moment, three days after she had been told about Henry’s will, the money was not only not in her account yet but also an abstract concept. She hadn’t really even thought about it much until Regina appeared on her doorstep, well, in her garden. The only thing she’d splurged on was her coffee grinder, and she could claim to have spent the money from National Geographic for the glossy ibis snap on that purchase.

“I know I don’d know this woman, Rubes,” Emma said. “And she might be lying and just want to get money out of me but I don’t think so. She looked genuinely upset when she mentioned why she needed the money and she said she’s been trying to raise funds for years.”

“Can’t be that life-threatening then, can it?” Ruby pointed out. “What surgery is she getting?”

“I didn’t ask,” Emma Emma admitted. “It didn’t seem appropriate. She’s a stranger.”

“Who’s asking you for money.”

“Her father’s money,” Emma replied. “I mean, I knew Henry Mills for one night. He raised this woman. Surely she deserves it more than I do.”

Ruby shrugged and snagged a carrot stick as Emma walked past her with a board of chopped vegetables. “There must have been a reason he didn’t leave it to her or anyone else in the family,” she replied. “Did you ask her about that?”

“Not really,” Emma said. “She just said the two of them didn’t get along. And Henry mentioned he didn’t like his ex-wife.”

“What about this other sister. Zelena, or whatever her name is.”

“Regina said she’s got money so maybe Henry thought she wouldn’t need it,” Emma replied.

“Then why doesn’t she ask her for the loan? If her sister isn’t willing to stump up the cash for this allegedly life-threatening surgery, then why should you?”

“Why don’t you want me to give her the money?”

“Why do you want to give her the money?” Ruby countered.

Emma sighed and leaned against the counter. She didn’t know, to be honest. It just felt … right. After a moment she shrugged and turned towards the cooker where she was beginning to stir fry their vegetables. Ruby didn’t say anything more. Although her friend had called her round to discuss the dilemma, the redhead got the sense that this was not only a decision Emma needed to make on her own but one she had already come to a conclusion about.

* * *

Regina was finishing the stock check on Tuesday evening when her phone vibrated in the inside pocket of her suit. She glanced around the empty store, scanning for her manager. She didn’t want to get in trouble for being on her cell at work (again) but she also knew it would be her mother asking what time their dinner would be. She loved her mother and she loved living with her but sometimes it was a bit much.

“I’m clocking off in five minutes, Mother,” Regina said as she answered. “I thought I’d do us a Thai curry tonight so we’ll be eating at about eight. Is that ok?”

“That sounds delicious,” came the unfamiliar voice. “But I suspect you’re not planning on cooking for me.”

Regina pulled the phone away from her ear and frowned at the screen. She hadn’t looked at the caller ID before answering and now saw that it was an unknown number from out of state.

“Who is this?” she asked, closing the cupboard and standing up.

“Emma,” came the reply. “Swan. From Storybrooke, Ohio.”

“Yeah, I know where you’re from,” Regina said, her heart suddenly pounding in her chest. She hadn’t been expecting a call from the woman, well, ever if she was being honest, and now, in the middle of the department store where she worked on the perfumery counter, she was about to have one of the most important conversations of her life.

“Of course you do,” Emma chuckled. “How did you find out my address, by the way?”

“Mr Gold,” Regina replied. “He’s an old family friend and my mother managed to get it out of him.”

“Right,” Emma said. “Look, I’m sorry to call when you’re at work and clearly about to go home and cook a delicious meal for your mother but I was wondering if you had a moment to talk.”

“I do,” Regina said hurriedly. “Yes, we can talk now.” She glanced around the store. Kathryn, her supervisor, was nowhere to be seen and nor was the manager.

“Look,” Emma said. “I know it was really hard for you to come to mine at the weekend and ask me for help. I admire your guts, to be honest.”

“Um thanks?”

Emma laughed at the uncertain reply. “It’s a compliment, believe me. But I do have a few questions, if you don’t mind.”

“Questions?”

“Yeah,” Emma replied. “I want to help you, Regina. But I also feel a certain responsibility to Henry and I need to know more information. To be honest, I wasn’t acquainted with him for long but he seemed like a good guy and clearly he liked me too. I guess I want to know why he left he money to me instead of you. I don’t want to betray him, I suppose, and hand over his money to someone he, for whatever reason, cut out of his life.”

Regina swallowed. She knew what was coming next. She also knew that when Emma started asking questions, everything would have to be revealed.

“May I ask what surgery you’re getting?” Emma said. “And if it’s so important, why didn’t you ask your father for it whilst he was alive. Whatever happened between you, surely he wouldn’t want to see his own daughter suffer.”

Regina couldn’t help but give a dry laugh. After all, her father had never understood how Regina felt inside and didn’t see her as suffering in any way, just a confused, deluded stain on the Mills family name.

“If you want the details, I’ll tell you,” Regina said after a pause. “But not over the phone. It’s too … yeah, I’m sorry but I can’t talk about this now. I’m at work and there’s far more to say than I currently have time for. Would you be willing to meet me this weekend?”

“In Chicago?”

“No,” Regina said at once. “I’m happy to come down to yours again. If you’re free, that is.”

“Um, yeah,” Emma said. “That’s fine although Saturday works better for me. I have family coming on Sunday.”

“Saturday,” Regina repeated. “Ok. Your house?”

“Would you prefer somewhere neutral?” Emma asked.

“Privacy is more important,” Regina replied.

“I understand,” Emma replied. “So come to mine on Saturday morning and we can have coffee again. Does that sound ok?”

With the details finalised, Regina thanked Emma once again for contacting her and hung up. She glanced at the clock and saw her shift had ended. Collecting her possessions from the staff locker room, she popped her head around Kathryn’s office door and wished the blonde good night. Although she was her superior, the two had been friends since junior school and Kathryn had been Regina’s rock throughout her adolescence. It was Kathryn who had suggested she apply for the job, two years earlier and whilst it had taken Regina time to adjust, she was feeling more and more comfortable in her role now. Despite their closeness, she hadn’t told Kathryn about finding the woman who had inherited her father’s fortune. She didn’t think there was any point until she knew for sure whether or not Emma was going to help her. She just hoped the blonde in Ohio was as accepting and open-minded as her blonde friend in Chicago. She find out, she supposed, in four days time.

As she climbed onto the bus fifteen minutes later, laden with shopping for her dinner that night, Regina was already trying to formulate the best way to tell Emma her story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: any guesses as to what Regina's story is? Some of you already picked up on the clues - kudos to you guys!


	3. Regina's Big Reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: you guys pretty much all guessed what Regina’s secret is - to be honest, I wanted it to be a surprise for Emma rather than yourselves. Now, if a story with a transgender character is not your thing, please feel free to stop reading. I won’t be offended! For those of you still with me, let’s find out how Emma reacts to the reveal …

It had taken Regina most of the week to persuade her mother that she really didn’t need to, once again, accompany her down to Ohio. It took the rest of the time to persuade her mother to allow Regina to borrow her Mercedes. But she had finally succeeded and was now cruising down the freeway, her mind still trying to conjure up the perfect way of explaining to Emma what she needed the thirty thousand dollars for. She had gone over many scenarios in her head since the phone call on Tuesday evening. Few of them ended well. Not many people accepted her explanation straight off the bat, especially people who didn’t really know her. But she was on her way, she was going to do it. She was going to tell the blonde the truth. After all, it was her only chance.

The sign for Storybrooke loomed ahead of her far quicker than she had hoped. Indicating, she took the exit and slowed down as she turned onto the smaller road. The conversation which would change her life was, now, mere minutes away.

As soon as she could, she pulled off the road into a lay-by. Reaching into her handbag, she fished out her favourite lipstick which she knew went with the deep fuchsia shirt she was wearing. Pulling down the sun visor, she applied it to her lips with a practiced hand. Scrutinising herself in the tiny mirror, she frowned. Now it looked like she was trying too hard. The lipstick, although classy, implied that she was trying to prove a point, to illustrate her identity. She rubbed it off on a tissue, scowling. But then her lips looked too pale, the scar she so hated over-prominent. She didn’t want to look like that in front of Emma. Her stomach churned at the thought of seeing the young blonde who could, in theory, change her life forever. She reapplied the lipstick and snapped the shade shut before she had a chance to change her mind. Again.

* * *

Despondent was the word Emma would use to describe her feelings after she had returned from market that same Saturday morning. She hated it; seeing her young cocks getting bought by, let’s face it, butchers. But she couldn’t keep them. It was the way the world worked. So she was distracting herself by cleaning. Well, it was both a distraction and a necessity since she was expecting a visitor.

Her mind had flitted regularly to the mysterious brunette over the past week. Even before she spoke to Ruby, she knew she needed to meet with Regina again. Ruby had known it too, instinctively. Or perhaps it was obvious. Emma had always been a generous person, with her time and whatever little money she had. And now, since Henry’s death, she was in a position to be generous with both. Although the money wasn’t officially in her account yet. Mr Gold had explained the various legal protocols but assured that she would be a multimillionaire by the summer.

She tried not to think about it. The obscene amount of money heading her way, more than she’d ever earned in her life a hundred-fold, scared her frankly. She wasn’t quite sure what she was going to do. Sell the business at once as she had no desire to take on that role. But the rest? She hadn’t even considered what she might do with a seven figure bank balance.

She didn’t look like a millionaire, she decided, as she observed herself in the mirror less than an hour before Regina was due. True, she hadn’t been shopping since she had inherited the fortune but even without expensive clothes, she didn’t look like someone who had come from money.

Well, she hadn’t. Abandoned on the side of the road, shuttled through the foster system for seven years before finally landing with the Nolans, a well-meaning, delightful, loving family but with very little money. Yes, Emma hadn’t had much when she was growing up but she’d had the support and devotion of her adoptive family and that had been all she had ever needed. And now she could buy anything she could possibly think of. It was crazy, insane, incomprehensible. And unnecessary. What more did Emma need to be happy? She had her dream job, her birds, her friends. Ok, she could perhaps put an offer on the rented bungalow she lived in and do the place up a bit once it was her own. Her car had needed replacing for years, the old yellow bug barely starting on the cold winter mornings now. But what about the rest of the money? What the hell was she supposed to do with it?

The ringing of the doorbell interrupted Emma’s scrutiny of herself in the mirror. Realising Regina must have made good time and arrived early, she hurried from her bedroom and headed towards the front door.

The brunette looked nervous, Emma thought. Perhaps even more on edge than when she had appeared unannounced the previous weekend. She smiled in what she hoped was a reassuring way.

“Hi,” she said, “come on in.”

“Thanks,” Regina said, stepping through the open doorway and shrugging off her coat.

Although it was April, the bite of spring had been in the air and she handed the warm clothing to Emma who hung it on a swan-shaped hook on the wall. She supposed the blonde’s surname came with that hazard; friends would buy anything with swans on just because they made easy but personalised presents.

Emma beckoned her through to the kitchen again where a coffee percolator was on the stove. The copper shone brightly; another new purchase she presumed. She stood awkwardly by the doorway as Emma chatted about the cockerels she had taken to market that morning. She didn’t know much about raising poultry, to be honest, but Emma seemed passionate. Regina was too distracted, too nervous, to respond with any great zeal. Once they both had a steaming mug of coffee, Emma led them into the lounge. Regina hadn’t been into that room before. It wasn’t large but it was bright and airy and very definitely where the young blonde lived. There were photos of birds all over the walls.

“Did you take this?” Regina asked, sipping her hot drink and pointing to the closest photograph, a bird of prey soaring high in the sky.

“Yeah,” Emma nodded, sitting on the couch and curling her denim-clad legs beneath her. “It’s my job, actually.”

“You’re a photographer?”

“Wildlife, officially,” Emma replied. “But birds are my specialty. I spend most of my time up at the lake.”

“Sounds like wonderful profession,” Regina said.

“It is,” Emma replied. “But it’s lonely at times.”

“I can imagine.”

Of all the emotions in the world, loneliness and isolation were two Regina knew much about. Despite her supportive mother and Kathryn’s understanding, Regina’s teenage years had hardly been easy. Socialising had rather fallen by the wayside over those years, leaving Regina with few friends and suffering social skills as an adult at times.

“What do you do?” Emma asked.

An easy question to start, Regina noticed and appreciated. She didn’t think diving straight in would be a good idea for anyone. She still wasn’t quite sure how she was going to tell Emma what she needed the money for.

“I work in a department store,” Regina replied. “On the perfumery counter. It’s nothing special but it pays the bills.”

“And you always smell nice,” Emma added.

Regina laughed. “A perk of the job.”

Her dresser in her room had been covered in bottles of different scents for years and since she started her job and received a staff discount, the collection had grown exponentially. She loved the different smells, the way she could use them to express how she was feeling on a particular day, their seductive power. Well, apparently. Regina had never actually seduced anyone, nor had she felt the desire to.

“Maybe I should invest in some more perfume,” Emma mused. “Chicken and duck shit is hardly sexy.”

Regina laughed and nodded her agreement. Although, she noticed, the blonde did look much cleaner than the last time she had seen her and obviously hadn’t just come from dealing with her birds. And the woman might not own perfume but she did have her own scent which Regina had already detected; cinnamon.

“So I suppose we shouldn’t just keep this small talk going forever,” Emma said after a short silence. “Can you tell me about this surgery you want to get using the money your father left to me?”

Regina placed her half-drunk coffee on the table and sat up a little straighter, hands clasped in her lap. Emma lowered her own mug too, sensing the change of tone.

“I don’t know how much my father told you about his family,” Regina said, “so I’ll start from the beginning. He and my mother married and a few months along came Zelena. Typical, happy, Christian family. They went to church every Sunday, they lived in a modest house, my father ran his own business. When Zelena was four, my mother fell pregnant again. It wasn’t exactly planned, let’s say. And nine months later, Jacob was born.”

There it was; the son whom Henry mentioned but never elaborated about. Emma’s curiosity was well and truly piqued.

“Things were great for a few years. The perfect nuclear family. As Father’s business grew, the family moved into bigger, better houses, and had all the latest gadgets. Friends loved coming over and watching things on the television because it was always the biggest you could buy at the time. And Father was doting on his children. He was busy with work a lot of the time but when he was around, he was terrific. He loved Jacob the most; the prodigal son, the heir to the family empire. He was always trying to get him interested in machinery and engineering and the two of them spent every weekend together. Until Jacob turned seven.”

Regina leaned forwards and took another sip of her coffee. Emma said nothing.

“He came home early from work one day, unannounced. Zelena and Mother were out in the garden I think and when Father went to look for Jacob upstairs he found him dressed up in one of Mother’s party frocks, make-up childishly applied to his face. He smacked Jacob and shouted at him to remove the clothes, which Jacob did at once. But the next time Jacob found himself alone in the house, he did the same thing. It was a secret, he knew, because it was wrong, so his father had said. But it didn’t feel wrong. When wearing those feminine clothes was the time that Jacob felt most like the person he was meant to be. It wasn’t until Jacob was about twelve that he realised it wasn’t dressing up in the clothes that was wrong, it was his body.”

Regina glanced at Emma to see if she was understanding her story so far. She couldn’t tell from the blonde’s expression but she certainly had the young woman’s attention. She appeared transfixed.

“It took another year for Jacob to summon up the courage to tell anyone what he thought had happened, the mistake which had been made some time in the womb. Because Jacob knew that he was a woman inside. Everything in his very being made him believe that he had been born into the wrong body. He was trapped as a man from the outside but a woman in his soul. It was destroying him, holding two competing identities in his head simultaneously, never quite knowing which one was real or true. He had to put on an act whenever he went out of the house, conforming to society’s stereotypes of a young teenage boy rather than living as the young teenage girl he knew himself to actually be.”

The next silence was longer. Regina stared across the room, admiring without seeing a photograph of a swan gliding gracefully across a glassy lake. She hadn’t spoken about Jacob in a long time and she had hardly ever spoken to someone who had never known Jacob. Emma’s soft voice brought her back to the present and she realised she had completely zoned out.

“Sorry,” she said, rubbing her face.

“It’s ok, take your time,” Emma assured.

Already, she thought she knew where Regina’s story was going. But she needed Regina to verbalise it before it could truly start to sink in.

“Jacob told his mother the night before his thirteenth birthday,” Regina continued. “She was shocked, of course, but very supportive. I think she had always known her son was a little different, that he didn’t quite fit in. Over the next few months, the two of them kept their secret and began to speak more openly about the girl Jacob believed himself to be. They even gave her a name.”

“Regina,” Emma whispered.

The brunette nodded. “Yes,” she confirmed. “I was still Jacob at school and to my friends. Even my sister and father didn’t know at that point. But when we were alone my mother would call me Regina and it was the most wonderful feeling in the world. For the first time in my life, I truly felt comfortable with my identity. Although puberty was doing everything it could to force my body towards manhood. My mother took me to get hormone tablets and after months of different combinations, we finally got the dosages right. My voice is a little deeper than most women’s but I don’t need to shave and I even started developing breasts.”

Emma blushed and her eyes darted down to the brunette’s chest before she could stop them. Regina noticed.

“Sorry,” both women said in unison.

“What are you sorry for?” Regina frowned.

“Um, nothing,” Emma stuttered. “What are you sorry for?”

“For being so blunt about this stuff,” Regina replied. “I’ve been dealing with it for fifteen years and I sometimes forget that other people have. They can’t talk about breasts and pubic hair and testicles as freely as I can because they’ve never had to.”

“Testicles?”

Regina smiled sadly. “Haven’t you guessed what I need the money for yet? Whilst I may look like a woman when I’m walking down the street and I certainly live as a woman, beneath my clothes there is still the body of a man. I believe it’s time now to complete the transition and undergo a sex change operation.”

Emma leaned back on the couch and let out a long, low breath. Had she seen that coming? Not at all. The idea hadn’t even crossed her mind when she first met Regina Mills. The woman was confident, sexy, and very definitely feminine. And now she had learnt that beneath that tight pencil skirt was … well, a penis. And not only a penis but one which Regina wanted to have removed followed by reconstructive surgery to make her into a woman. An operation which, effectively, Emma would be paying for.

“I imagine you have a few questions?” came the quiet voice and Emma turned to look at the brunette, her cheeks slightly pink.

“Um, yeah, a few,” Emma nodded. “I mean, I’ve never met a …” She trailed off, unsure exactly how Regina chose to identify herself.

“Transgender person,” she supplied. “I consider myself transgender. Some might say transsexual since I am planning, _hoping_ , to change my sex medically but I prefer transgender. It better describes me, I think. After all, it’s not just what’s between my legs which made me a man. My chromosomes are different too, as are my hormones. You should see the number of pills I have to take each day just to counteract the testosterone my body naturally produces. It’s called gender dysphoria; the biological explanation. There’s a part of my brain which appears ‘female’,” Regina put air quotes around the word, “in its behaviour and genetic make-up. Although of course it’s far more complicated than that and everyone’s brains work in different ways. From the studies I’ve read and the doctors I’ve visited however, it appears that my brain conforms to many of the stereotypes of a female’s brain. Please, ask me anything you want and I’ll try to explain. I’m more than used to talking about it.”

Emma had so many questions she didn’t know which to ask first. She settled for one to which she knew the answer.

“Is this why your father left your mother?”

Regina nodded. “He left all of us, really,” she replied. “He couldn’t accept that I didn’t want to be Jacob any more. That I couldn’t be Jacob. He thought I was deliberately denying him a son and heir to his company and never understood that I couldn’t help the way I felt. My mother’s relentless support of me and unwavering belief in my gender dysphoria drove an irreparable wedge between them. Even Zelena, who had always been Daddy’s little girl, couldn’t persuade him to stay. And then one morning we woke up and he had gone. Didn’t even leave a note. None of us have spoken to him since then and that was eleven years ago. I was fifteen.”

“So you never asked him for the money for your surgery because you knew he’d say no?”

“Yes,” Regina nodded. “And I know you said before you feel a certain obligation to my father and didn’t want to do something he wouldn’t approve of with the money but I’m begging you to reconsider that. You’re right, he didn’t approve of the surgery. But that was because he was a close-minded, conservative, bigoted old man. If he’d listened to me, really listened, he might have understood that what I want to do isn’t wrong at all. It’s the only thing in the world that will finally allow me to be … me.”

Emma looked into the wide, pleading eyes before her and felt her heart break just a little for the woman (because to her Regina was a woman in every sense of the world) so evidently suffering every day to live in a body she knew wasn’t right for her. She’d seen The Danish Girl, had seen those exact emotions mirrored in Eddie Redmayne’s eyes as he portrayed Lili Elbe. Although based on a memoir, she knew the movie had been fictitious but she couldn’t help but believe that thanks to it, she had at least a vague understanding of what Regina was going through. She couldn’t imagine it herself; the torment, the inability to feel like one belonged, the confused sense of self. But she did believe that others felt it; others like Regina. And yet her father, Jacob’s father, had rejected her feelings, had denied what she believed to be wrong with her, had walked away from his son, daughter and wife all because Jacob needed to be Regina instead. Emma’s heart pounded angrily in her chest. She knew Henry was deeply religious and supposed that had much to do with his abhorrent actions but how could anyone abandon their own family like that? Her hands balled into fists.

“Your father was wrong to leave you,” Emma said firmly. “I don’t agree with his actions there.”

“Thank you,” Regina said with a small smile. “That means a lot.”

“A father should never abandon his children,” Emma said, a darkness to her voice which sent a shiver down Regina’s spine. “If I’d’ve known …”

She trailed off. She didn’t know what she would have done or said to Henry if she had found out about Regina (or Jacob) when the old man was still alive. Would she had berated him for leaving? Would she had rejected his friendship? Sure, she disagreed with his actions but did that make everything else about him evil too? Did that taint his money?

“Don’t feel guilty for having inherited his fortune,” Regina said, as if she could read Emma’s mind. “He might not have been a good father but that doesn’t mean the money can’t do good in the future. And I’m not just saying that to try and get you to give me the money for the operation. That money was left for you. Enjoy it. Maybe buy a new house and get more chickens.”

“I like this house,” Emma said with a slight frown. “What’s wrong with it?”

Regina raised an eyebrow. “Have you even been up to visit where my father lived? The property you now own?” Emma shook her head. “Well admittedly the place we lived in wasn’t quite as grand but it was spectacular compared to this … charming bungalow.”

“Charming?”

“Characterful?” Regina tried again.

Emma couldn’t help but chuckle. It was true; the bungalow needed work but the rent was so low that she didn’t feel the need to hassle her landlord about leaky faucets or damaged woodwork. She fixed it herself as and when she got the time. Which was probably why the place looked ‘characterful’.

“Look,” Emma said after a moment. “I don’t really know you, Regina, aside from the most intimate, personal part of your life, but I can tell that this operation means a lot to you.”

“It means everything,” Regina replied at once. “I’ve wanted this for years.”

“Then I’m going to help you.”

Regina’s eyes sparkled with tears and she bit her lip to try and stop them falling. It didn’t work and the emotions flowed down her face. She buried her head in her hands and sobbed quietly. After an awkward moment, Emma shuffled along the couch and put a hand on her back, patting softly in what she hoped was a comforting manner.

“Thank you,” Regina said at last, looking up at Emma with black smudges under her eyes from the make-up. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome,” Emma said, handing Regina a tissue. “I can’t think of anything else I’d rather spend this money on.”

Regina raised an eyebrow. “Not even a Ferrari?”

“I’m more an Audi R8 kinda gal,” Emma laughed. “And ok, aside from material possessions, I can’t think of a more deserving cause.”

“You make me sound like a charity case,” Regina said, wiping at her eyes. “I mean, I know I turned up at your door asking for money which is the very definition of charity but I’m not. And I don’t want you to think of me as someone who can’t provide for myself. I would have saved the money eventually. It might have taken another ten years but I’d have gotten there. I’m just not sure I can wait that long in a body that doesn’t feel like mine.”

“I get it,” Emma assured. “And I don’t think of you as a charity case. I’m thinking of you as a daughter whose father abandoned her when she needed him most. You weren’t weak, Regina, he was. He turned his back on you because he didn’t understand or he couldn’t accept who you were as a person. That’s his loss because from what I’ve seen, you’re pretty incredible.”

Regina blushed at the compliment and ducked her head shyly. She may have a penis, Emma mused, but she was certainly effeminate in her actions. There was no doubt in Emma Swan’s mind that Regina was right; she had been born in the wrong body. And now, incredibly, Emma was in a position to rectify that biological mishap and transform the woman before her into the person she was always intended to be.

“So what now?” Emma said after a while. “I don’t have the money yet but when I do I can just write you a cheque or -.”

“There’s no rush,” Regina said. “I’ve been waiting for this for ten years. I can wait a little longer. But I don’t want it to feel like a business transaction. I don’t want to feel like I’ve come here and asked for money and then that’s it.”

“So what do you want?” Emma asked. “You mentioned it being a loan the first time you came. Would that help you feel more comfortable about the money?”

“Do you want to be repaid?”

Emma shook her head. “Not really,” she replied. “I already have more money than I know what to do with so I’d happily pay for the surgery outright.”

“Thank you,” Regina said. “That means so much to me.”

Emma smiled and Regina returned the gesture. Then Emma cocked her head to the side as if she was considering something.

“Do you want to go and see your father’s house?” she asked at last. “I’ve got the keys already but have never been up there. You can show me around.”

“I’ve never been either, remember?” Regina reminded her. “And I’m not sure I really want to go. That place will just remind me of him too much.”

“Of course,” Emma said quickly. “Sorry, silly idea.”

“No, no, it was sweet,” Regina said. “I know you think it’s a shame I didn’t have a proper relationship with my father and I suppose you’re right in many ways. But walking around a country manor house after he’s dead isn’t going to make up for the years he refused to even acknowledge my existence.”

“I get it,” Emma nodded. “I was abandoned as a baby by my birth parents. When I turned eighteen I spent years trying to track them down. Despite having amazing adoptive parents, I wanted to know where I came from. But they didn’t want to be found. Those two people who are supposed to love me unconditionally gave me up when I was just hours old. Now I wonder why I even wanted to know them at all; they didn’t deserve me after they way they treated me. I stopped looking when I was twenty-two and closed that chapter of my life. My adoptive parents are my true family.”

“I’m sorry to hear about your start in life,” Regina said. “That must have been tough.”

Emma shrugged. It was what it was. She had never known anything different and didn’t think dwelling on what might have been would get her anywhere. Her adoptive mother was a very hopeful person and Emma felt she had inherited some of that positivity during her time at their home.

“Do you want another coffee or something?” Emma asked. “If you don’t want to go up to your father’s house it seems rather a waste of your time to turn around and drive all the way back up to Chicago now. Do you want to hang around Storybrooke for a while?”

“It wasn’t a waste of time,” Regina said quietly. “You’ve answered my prayers.”

Emma smiled softly. She didn’t think she had ever been the answer to anyone’s prayers before. It was a nice feeling.

“So coffee?”

“Actually, I was thinking perhaps we could go for a walk. I’ve been sat down all morning and the springs in my mother’s car are shot. She can't afford to get them replaced so I was in agony for most of the drive. I don’t know why she kept the car to be honest. It belonged to my father.”

“A walk around the lake then?” Emma suggested.

“Would you mind?” Regina said. “I can go on my own if you’re busy but I thought perhaps you, we, might get to know each other a bit better, what with you paying for my sex change and everything.”

Emma was still a little taken aback at the no nonsense approach Regina clearly had to her transgender identity. She didn’t shy away from who she was at Emma admired that. It might take her a bit of time to get used to talking about penises and vaginas without batting an eyelid (both her adoptive parents were prudish) but she was willing to try. Regina certainly interested her and the idea of a stroll through one of the most beautiful areas of Storybrooke with the woman sounded appealing.

“Sure,” Emma grinned. “Do you want to borrow some shoes?”

She eyes Regina’s heels, noting as she did that she would have had rather small feet if she had been a man. Unless perhaps the hormones shrunk feet too. Emma could see some furious googling in her future.

“Do you have some spare boots?” she asked.

Emma just laughed. “You’ve really forgotten the pile of boots at the back door? Pretty sure I’ve got enough for the whole town. I don’t even know where they come from. It’s not like I buy them but they just seem to accumulate.”

“You’re a boot magnet,” Regina replied.

“Must be it,” Emma chuckled, standing up and leading the way through to the rear of the house where the mess of boots sprawled away from the back door. “Help yourself. I’m going to grab my camera, just in case we see any birds.”

Regina reached down, selected a boot which looked about the right side and slid it on. She continued to try several pairs until she found a set which fit perfectly. Emma still hadn’t reappeared so she waited by the front door, pulling her coat back on. She thought back over the conversation she and Emma had had. It couldn’t have gone much better, she decided. Emma had not only been an attentive listener but she had also carefully considered the implications of giving Regina the money. Neither of them were rushing into the decision and Regina knew that was very important. If Emma had said yes and then changed her mind, Regina didn’t think she would be able to survive such devastation of her hopes. But the blonde seemed to have her head screwed on pretty well. She was thoughtful, considerate, and most of all, accepting. Regina knew sexuality and gender identity had become increasingly fluid over the past decade or so and the media were becoming increasingly confident with showing characters’ diversity. But it was quite another to come face to face with someone who looked female but was asking you for money to cut off their external genitalia and reconstruct internal ones. Emma seemed to have taken it all in her stride and for that Regina was eternally grateful.

The sound of clumping footsteps announced Emma’s reappearance in the hallway. Regina smiled at the blonde who now had a camera slung around her neck with a wide-angle lens on the front. She’d donned a jacket too and grabbed a set of keys off the hall table as she passed.

“Ready?” Emma asked, opening the door and stepping back to allow Regina through. “Ladies first.”

If it had been anyone else, Regina might have thought the blonde was taking the piss but the soft smile on Emma’s face told Regina she really meant it. Maybe it was because she had always presumed Regina to be female or maybe it was because she too could see that was her true identity. Either way, Regina couldn’t help but beam as she stepped out of the door into the weak April sunlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I wonder what our two ladies will discuss on their walk around the lake … No, seriously, I do wonder! I’ve got no idea where I’m taking them but I wanted some more time talking and the lake seemed like a good setting!


	4. Emma's Lesbian Decoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m so sorry, I’m behind on replying to reviews. I went from 3 weeks holiday to two jobs and now my brain is exploding. But hopefully I’ll get a chance to respond to you all before I go out drinking tomorrow night. And if I don't you may well get drunken responses at stupid o’clock on Sunday … sorry! Anyway, I hope this chapter makes up for my tardiness in both replies and the delay in posting. 
> 
> Also, over 100 followers for three chapters? Thanks guys!

They fell into step side by side, strolling down the road towards the lake. Emma had chosen her bungalow for three reasons; the ridiculously low rent, the large garden for her birds, and its proximity to the body of water around which she took her photos. Set up on a hill a little way above the town, she also liked the peace and quiet around the property and the lack of neighbours. It wasn’t that Emma didn't like socialising, she did, but she wasn’t a fan of the forced, over-the-fence friendliness which came with small town-living.

“How long have you lived in Storybrooke?” Regina said after a while.

“My adoptive family moved here when I was eleven,” Emma said. “I fell in love with the place and when they relocated to the West Coast when I was eighteen, I stayed.”

“You don’t see your family much then?”

“Not as much as I’d like but often enough. They arrive tomorrow actually. They’re flying over for a friend’s birthday party and are spending a week with me first.”

“Oh yeah, you mentioned having family coming,” Regina remembered. “Sorry for interrupting your preparations.”

Emma laughed. “What preparations? I’m not exactly the best host. I was just planning on chucking a fresh set of sheets on the spare bed and sweeping the floors. They know not to expect better than that from me.”

“Do they know about the inheritance?” Regina asked.

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “Although I’m not calling it inheritance. That implies family and Henry Mills wasn’t that to me.” 

There was a pause, the blonde wondering if she should say what she was thinking. She decided she would, as usual. Emma liked to think of herself as someone who spoke her mind.

“You know I feel bad that this money went to me and not you, right?” Emma said. “I barely knew your father and as soon as I found out why he wouldn’t leave it to you, the money became … a burden, I suppose.”

“Emma, don’t feel bad about it,” Regina assured the blonde. “Honestly, I don’t want his money. All I want is to be able to pay for my surgery and get on with my life. I know what you mean about the money being a burden too. If I had inherited it, everything I would have owned would have reminded me of the person who couldn’t accept me for who I am. I don’t want that. I don’t want his money. Nor does my mother.”

“And Zelena?”

Regina shrugged. She hadn’t in all honesty had many conversations with her sister since their father’s passing. Zelena had a very busy life, what with her husband, their two children, and a full-time job. They were lucky if they got to speak to each other once a month.

“Her husband’s a brain surgeon and she’s a doctor too,” Regina shrugged. “Like I said, she doesn’t need the money. And she hated our father for leaving us just as much as I did. She might have been the apple of his eye but he still deserted her. She never forgave him for that.”

Emma understood that only too well. She had never quite forgiven her birth parents for abandoning her either. When she had been searching for them, she had regularly imagined the moment they would meet and could never decide if the first thing she was going to do was to punch them or hug them. Thanks to the fact that they made themselves deliberately untraceable, she supposed she would never find out.

“You mentioned Zelena not being able to give you money for the surgery,” Emma said. “Is she not supportive of your decision?”

“Yes and no,” Regina replied. “She was great at first. Really stood by me and looked out for me in our neighbourhood when the other kids found out. But then she went off to med school and we kind of drifted apart. We’re close enough now but we don’t see each other much because she has her family and practically no free time what with working as a doctor and raising her kids. And as for the surgery, she’s sceptical of the necessity of it. The procedure itself is difficult, the rehabilitation afterwards is long, and there can be complications and extra surgeries needed. She doesn’t see why I can’t just live as a woman but with a penis.”

Emma nodded her understanding at Zelena’s argument as she opened the gate leading to the footpath down to the lake and led the way through it. 

“But it’s ultimately your decision,” Emma said. “Will she support you now you’ve got the funding?”

“Yes, of course,” Regina said as she picked her way past an overgrown bush which was almost blocking the path. “But she wouldn’t help me achieve it, even though she knew it was what I both wanted and needed.”

“Do you mind telling me a little bit about the surgery?” Emma asked. “I’d be curious to know exactly what you’re going to be having done.”

And she was curious. She had never (knowing) met a transgender person before and although considering herself liberally minded, had never given the idea of sex reassignment surgery much thought. Aside from lopping off the penis and testicles, she didn’t quite know what it entailed.

“Sure,” Regina said. “I’ll try to keep the details as non-gory as possible.” Emma laughed and nodded as they reached the edge of the lake and turned right onto the wide, sunny path. “So the surgeons basically work with what your body has to create what it doesn’t have. Testicles are removed completely but the foreskin is used to create the vagina which should be fully sensitised. They can also form a clitoris out of some nerve endings in the penis and they use the scrotal skin to make labia. It’s called vaginoplasty which is a disgusting-sounding word to be honest but it basically does what it says on the tin; builds a vagina.”

Emma’s cheeks felt a little flushed by the time Regina had finished. She knew she had asked about the surgery and she had also already known how open the brunette was about sex and gender but she didn’t think she had ever heard so many intimate body parts being spoken about so causally in such a short space of time. Just as she was about to open her mouth to say … she wasn’t sure what … a figure appeared on the path ahead of them.

“Oh Jesus,” Emma groaned as she realised who it was, glancing around and wondering if they could turn back before the approaching person spotted them. There was no chance.

“What?” Regina asked.

“My ex,” Emma admitted, debating whether diving headfirst into a bush would be completely unreasonable.

“Bad break up?” Regina surmised from the way Emma was acting.

“He’s been trying to get me back for months,” the blonde said. “I really don’t want to deal with this right now. Can you cover for me?”

“Cover for -?”

But before Regina could clarify Emma’s request they had come face to face with a tall, scraggly-haired man. He had slightly bug-eyes and looked a little deranged, at least in Regina’s head.

“Emma, hey,” he said, a wide smile on his face. Regina thought it looked more like a leer.

“Seb,” Emma nodded.

“Lovely day for a walk,” Seb continued, ignoring Regina.

“Yes, I was just taking my girlfriend around to see if we could spot any kingfishers,” Emma said, reaching for Regina’s hand and grasping it tightly.

It took all of Regina’s self-control not to pull away at the sudden contact. Her body tensed as she felt Emma’s fingers interlace between her own and her heart pounded in her chest. She bit the inside of her cheek.

“Girlfriend?” Seb frowned, looking for the first time at the woman beside Emma who was staring, unseeingly in front of her.

Emma glanced sideways at Regina and a crease of concern crossed her forehead. The brunette looked, for want of a better word, petrified. But she pressed on with their cover story. The sooner they got rid of Seb, the better.

“Yeah, so if you wouldn’t mind,” Emma said, stepping forward and pulling lightly on Regina’s hand. The woman stumbled forwards, tripping over a tree root and Emma’s arms caught her quickly. Seb’s eyebrows raised as he wanted the interaction. Regina steadied herself and nodded slightly at the blonde who released her and then turned back to her ex.

“Bye Seb.”

“Um, bye,” replied Seb, standing open mouthed on the path as he watched the two women walk off together, still hand in hand.

Emma didn’t dare look over her shoulder, knowing the man would be watching them until they were out of sight. The corner approached in slow motion and Emma could feel Regina’s palm against her own getting sweatier and sweatier, the fingers trembling between her own. The moment they rounded the bend, the brunette pulled away, stepped off the path and closed her eyes. Emma hesitated, unsure what was happening and what she should do.

“Um, Regina?” she said tentatively. “Are you ok?”

The brunette nodded but said nothing, her back resolutely to Emma. After a full minute, Emma walked over and stood beside Regina, both women staring out over the calm surface of the lake.

“I’m sorry,” Emma said. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that. It was insensitive.”

“It’s ok.”

The reply was little more than a whisper and when Emma turned she was shocked to see tears streaming down Regina’s face.

“Shit, Regina, I’m so sorry! What did I do?”

Regina wiped her eyes quickly on the back of her hand and shook her head. She was annoyed at herself for the way she had reacted. It was silly, childish. She should have been able to control herself. After all, Emma was just trying to ward off a lecherous man.

“It’s not your fault, Emma,” Regina said, turning to the concerned woman beside her at last and trying to smile.

“What isn’t my fault?” Emma asked. “What upset you?”

Regina bit her lip. She didn’t want to admit this next thing to Emma. Despite having been completely open and honest about her transgender identity, the conversation she was about to have was even more scary, in her opinion. Being born in the wrong body wasn’t Regina’s fault but the reason she was crying was. At least, it was something she believed she should have worked harder to get over.

“I don’t like to be touched,” Regina admitted quietly. “I never have.”

“Touched?” Emma frowned before realisation dawned on her. “Our hands?”

Regina nodded. “I don’t know if it’s because I’ve never been comfortable in my own skin and that thought has transferred literally to a fear of physical contact or if it’s something else. I went to several therapists about it when I was younger but none of them were able to find a way for me to improve. I … I can’t deal with it. My body can’t deal with it. Or perhaps it’s my head. I don’t know, either way, I … well, I react like that.”

Emma’s immediate reaction was to hug the woman for comfort but, after what Regina had told her, she knew that was probably the last thing she should do. So instead she made her way to the water’s edge and sat on the grassy bank patting the ground beside her as an invitation for Regina to sit down. She did, seconds later, legs curled daintily beneath her.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” Emma said. “If I’d have know, I would never have done that, I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Regina assured her. “It’s my fault. I should have mentioned it sooner.”

“In case I randomly touched you?” Emma asked, eyebrows raised.

Regina gave a watery laugh and wiped away the last of her tears. “I should have said something,” she repeated. “So don’t feel bad.”

“I made you cry,” Emma pointed out. “I definitely feel bad.”

“Don’t,” Regina said firmly. “It was for a good cause.”

“Fake lesbian decoy?”

“Indeed,” Regina chuckled. “He was … did you really go out with him?”

“In a few months’ moments of insanity, yes,” Emma nodded. “Why? Not your type?”

Regina shrugged. “I don’t really have a type.” She shifted uncomfortably where she sat, knowing Emma was about to put the pieces together.

Emma frowned again and then her eyes widened in realisation. 

“You’ve never dated anyone?”

Regina shook her head. “It’s hard,” she said. “Even without my fear of being touched, where would I even begin to explain who I am to someone? I look like a woman and I feel and act like a woman but then I have this … penis,” she finished. “Dating a transgender person pre-op is confusing for most people. And since I’ve never met anyone I liked enough to try and start a relationship with, I’ve just been on my own. It’s simpler.”

Emma understood Regina’s reasonings, of course. The fear of being touched alone was enough to make dating difficult. But to have reached the age of twenty-six and never experienced … a kiss, a lover’s caress, sex. Emma wasn’t pitying Regina, she just thought it was a shame. Especially for such a beautiful woman.

“You think I’m a freak, don’t you,” Regina said when Emma failed to respond.

“No!” the blonde protested at once. “Not at all, Regina. I was just … thinking.”

“About how weird I am?”

“You’re not weird,” Emma said firmly. “Everything you’ve said makes sense. If you’re struggling with your own identity, how else can you expect someone else to understand who you really are? If you don’t like being touched, then it’s only natural to not want to pursue a romantic relationship. If you’ve not met someone who makes your heart skip a beat, then why put yourself through the trauma of dating?”

“Dating’s a trauma?” Regina asked. “Wow you make it sound so appealing. I can’t wait to see what I’ve been missing out on.”

“No, not dating,” Emma said. “It’s he heartbreak which comes after a love affair has fizzled out that hurts.”

“None of yours are still burning then?” Regina said.

Emma shook her head. It had been months in fact since she’d properly dated anyone. After her short-lived romance with Seb, she had been on a few dates but none of them went anywhere. She hadn’t even been in contact with August, which surprised her. After so long, she would usually have booty-called her friend one drunken evening but she hadn’t. Perhaps her days of meaningless sex were behind her at twenty-five. They probably ought to be, she mused.

“Shall we go and look for those kingfishers then?” Regina said, getting to her feet. “I’ve never seen one in real life.

“They’re beautiful,” Emma said, scrambling up too. “But rare. I doubt we’ll get a sighting today. I’ve got some pictures at home I could show you though, if you’re interested?”

Regina smiled at the way the blonde positively lit up at the prospect of showing her bird photography to her and she nodded her assurances.

The rest of the walk around the lake was far less dramatic. They didn’t spot any kingfishers but Emma did point out and name countless other birds to Regina, including an alder flycatcher, a mockingbird (which Regina thought only existed between the pages of a book), a black-necked stilt, and a pair of swallow-tailed kites. By the time the two women walked back up Emma’s garden path, it was well past lunch time.

“I’ve taken up enough of your time,” Regina insisted when Emma offered to make them both sandwiches.

“It’s no bother,” Emma assured. “They’re sandwiches, not a three course meal. And you’ve got a long drive back to Chicago this afternoon. Trust me, you don’t want to sample the food at the diner in town.”

“Why not?” Regina asked.

“Ruby’s grandmother runs it. She hates literally everyone who walks through the door. It’s like you’ve inconvenienced her by coming inside and ordering something off her own menu. The food is just as bad as the service as well. It’s a wonder the place hasn’t gone bankrupt yet.”

Regina laughed and conceded to Emma’s suggestion on the condition that she would help make the meal. They worked side by side, buttering bread and slicing cheese. Emma then whipped out a packet of bacon and began to fry it, at which point Regina rummaged through the fridge for something vaguely healthy. Some wilting lettuce leaves were all she could come up with; they’d have to do. 

It wasn’t long before they were both settling down at the table and digging into their food. Regina had to admit that despite the cholesterol concerns, the bacon was damn good. Emma smirked in satisfaction as Regina closed her eyes in contentment at the taste. She wasn’t much of a cook but she could see how people could become addicted to the feeling of seeing others enjoy their creations.

“Any other plans for the weekend?” Emma asked as she watched Regina finish washing up (the brunette had insisted).

“Not really,” Regina replied. “My mother wants to go to an art gallery in the city I think. They have some soft opening or something. I’m not sure. She seems to have forgotten we have no money and still insists on attending these high society events. I hate them but she likes me to go with her.”

“You’re a good daughter,” Emma said.

“Well I wasn’t much of a son so it’s the least I can do.”

At that, Emma frowned. Regina didn’t seem to have many qualms about her identity as a transgender but there were times when it sounded like she thought she had let people, namely her family, down.

“Your mom loves you, right?” Emma said.

“Of course,” Regina said. “She’s been my rock right from the beginning. I’m not sure I would have got through it without her.”

“Then I’m sure you were a wonderful son too. She clearly loved you as a person, rather than your gender because it didn’t matter to her if you decided to … correct biology.”

“Correct biology,” Regina repeated.

“Sorry, is that not the right thing to say?” Emma asked, worried she’d said something offensive. “I’m kinda new to all this transgender stuff.”

“No, it’s not wrong,” Regina replied. “In fact I quite like it. And for someone who’s new to this stuff, you’ve been nothing short of amazing. Seriously Emma, I wasn’t expecting you to be anywhere near as accepting and understanding as you have been.”

“What were you expecting?” Emma asked.

Regina considered the question before answering. She supposed she hadn’t really thought much about who Emma Swan was when her mother found out her name from Mr Gold. All she knew was that the money the woman had inherited was her only chance. She had been surprised at the modest bungalow Emma lived in when she first arrived and then pleased to find her willing to speak to her. Emma’s request for more information hadn’t been shocking and Regina had driven down that morning determined to tell the blonde the truth. How Emma would react, however, she hadn’t fully considered. Her mind had been so wrapped up in the perfect delivery of her story that she hadn’t given much thought to the truly important part; Emma’s acceptance or rejection of who she was. Perhaps that was because somehow, innately, Regina had known that Emma was going to take everything in her stride, with an open mind and, frankly, an open heart.

“I don’t know,” Regina said eventually. “I haven’t shared my story with many strangers but I knew I needed to if I wanted a chance to get the money for my surgery. I don’t have much experience with people reacting to finding out. The people in my life have either always known me as Regina and believe me to be a true woman, or they knew me when I was Jacob and don’t mention the first thirteen years of my life.”

“You are a true woman,” Emma said at once. “You just have … a spare appendage.”

Regina burst out laughing and Emma grinned. She had hoped for that reaction. She had never found anyone with whom she could talk so freely or openly with about sex, or the practicalities of it, before. Well, perhaps Ruby. But they’d grown up together. And slept together. There were no secrets between them. Regina, on the other hand, had been a relative stranger up until a few hours ago and now Emma felt like she had known her for years.

When she eventually stopped laughing, Regina glanced at her watch. 

“I’d better get going,” she said. “You’ve got an entire guest room to get ready and I have a four hour drive to start.”

“You don’t have to go,” Emma said. “I mean, the guest room won’t take me long. Although if you want to get back on the road I understand.”

She couldn’t quite explain it but Emma felt decidedly sad about the prospect of Regina leaving. She hoped, in fact, that she’d stay.

“I’d like to hang out with you more but I really ought to be getting back. Mother’s cooking dinner tonight and Zelena’s bringing the kids over. It’s a bi-annual event I ought not to miss.”

“Ok,” Emma said. “No problem.”

“I’ve had a great time with you,” Regina assured, not wanting Emma to think she was making up excuses to leave.

“Good, cos I’ve had fun today too,” Emma grinned. It was true. She’d had more fun chatting with Regina and strolling around the lake than she’d had in a long time. And it wasn’t just because Regina actually listened to her when she pointed out bird sightings, unlike the rest of her Storybrooke friends.

“Maybe you could let me know if you’re ever in Chicago,” Regina said. “I could show you around.”

“I rarely go up that way but if it happens I will,” Emma said. “And if you ever feel like a breath of fresh air and want a four hour car ride.” She winked, knowing there were many places far closer to Chicago than Storybrooke should the brunette feel the need for a day in the country.

They walked into the hallway in silence, neither quite sure what the appropriate way to end such a strange yet enjoyable day was. Regina slung her coat over her arm, the afternoon proving too hot for it and turned to face Emma once more.

“Thanks again, Emma,” Regina said. “I don’t think you’ll ever quite understand how much this means to me.”

“I hope I do understand just a little though,” Emma said, “thanks to your explanations. You’re admirable, you know. Your strength, your determination.”

“Is that code for stubbornness?” Regina asked, lips quirking.

“Nothing wrong with being stubborn,” Emma smiled. “And no, you’re not stubborn you’re …” She cast around for the right word. None of those which came to mind seemed powerful enough somehow. Then, suddenly, she got it. “Honourable.”

Regina’s cheeks blushed at the compliment and she couldn’t help the small smile that graced her lips. 

“Thank you,” Regina said quietly. “That means a lot.”

Emma nodded her understanding and held out her hand. Then she froze, remembering earlier.

“Shit, sorry,” she said, stuffing her hand back into her pocket.

“I’m not that bad,” Regina said, holding out her own hand in return.

Hesitating, Emma’s hand retreated from the pocket. Without breaking eye contact with Regina, she reached forwards. Regina jumped a little when Emma’s fingers brushed the centre of her palm but she wasn’t sure it was anything to do with the contact. Well, it was, but it was more to do with who was touching her, rather than the touch itself. An unfamiliar tingling between her legs made Regina’s eyes widen and she pulled her hand back from the brief shake. Emma looked concerned, like she blamed herself for causing Regina’s discomfort.

“I’d better go,” Regina said, turning to the door. “You’ll contact me?”

“The moment the money comes through,” Emma promised, hoping immediately that Mr Gold would phone her very soon and give her an excuse to call the intriguing brunette again.

“Thanks,” Regina said and she stepped out onto the porch. “For everything.”

“You’re welcome.”

Emma leaned against a crumbling wooden pillar as she watched Regina walk back down her garden path, heels clacking lightly on the slate as she went. The gate creaked when she reached it, reminding Emma of yet another job she ought to do before her parents arrived the following day and accused her of living in a hovel. Just before she reached her car, Regina looked over her shoulder. Their eyes locked once more and the brunette gave a little wave. And then she was gone, ducking down into the sleek Mercedes and out of sight. Emma watched the car pull away, the shadowy figure within all that was left of Regina. When at last the noise of the engine had faded, she headed back into the house. 

It felt empty, she decided. Emma had always liked living alone but at that moment she decided she would have rather liked a roommate. Settling for the next best thing, she wandered through the deserted bungalow and out into the back yard. Her birds greeted her, as they always did, and she smiled as she leaned on the fence and watched them scratching at the ground. 

But it wasn’t the same as a person. She considered calling Ruby but she wasn’t quite sure what to say. It was crazy to miss someone who had literally just left and who she’d only known for mere hours. 

It was true though. Emma Swan missed Regina Mills.


	5. An Impromptu Spin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m up to date on all my reviews. I know, hell may have frozen over. But don’t worry, I’m now seriously behind on messages so some things never change. Hope you guys continue to enjoy this fic and where I’m going with it …

“She’s a man?” Ruby frowned over the loud music pumping through The Rabbit Hole later that night. It might not have been the ideal place to tell her best friend about Regina but Emma hadn’t been able to wait any longer.

“Well, she was born male,” Emma explained to an open-mouthed Ruby. “But she identifies as female.”

“I thought you said she was pretty.”

“She is,” Emma said. “She’s beautiful.”

“But she has a dick.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Well it’s not on her forehead,” she scoffed. “She looks like a woman. You wouldn’t see her and think she was a man.”

“But she is,” Ruby stated, leaning her elbows on the bar and cocking her head to once side.

“Not really,” Emma said. “I mean, technically, biologically, yes. But she has boobs and no beard or anything.”

Ruby’s face scrunched up in confusion. Emma didn’t really blame her best friend for her reaction. It was hard to get one’s head around, especially without meeting or seeing Regina. Because what Emma had said was true; Regina didn’t look like a man. No one would know of her ‘spare appendage’ unless Regina told them. She was most definitely female in every other sense of the word.

“And you’re paying for them to cut off her dick,” Ruby said bluntly.

Emma winced slightly at the crass phrasing but couldn’t exactly deny it. Although Regina had explained the surgery to her, fundamentally, that was what happened.

“In a manner of speaking,” Emma nodded.

There was a pause before Ruby spoke again.

“If someone had handed me millions of dollars, getting a stranger’s dick removed is so not the first thing I would do with the money.”

Emma couldn’t help but laugh. Because until a few hours previously, she would have said the same thing. Now, however, she couldn’t think of a worthier cause on which to spend Henry Mills’ money. She wondered briefly if the old man was looking down at her from a heaven which she didn’t believe in, berating her for supporting Regina in a way he refused to do. She decided she didn’t care. She had liked Henry a great deal the night they met but had she known about his abandonment of his daughter and his reason for doing so, she wasn’t so sure they would have gotten along. He had walked out on Regina when she needed him most and Emma thought that was unforgivable. So whilst she had initially been wary of spending the money on things she thought Henry would approve of, she had quickly decided that she couldn’t care less what his ghost’s opinion of her involvement with Regina’s surgery was.

“I’d buy a big ass house and a super fast car and -,”

Ruby’s imaginary spending spree was cut off when a customer at the far end of the bar called to her for some service. Telling Emma to start writing down her wish list, she moved off, leaving the blonde contemplating what exactly she was going to do with the millions of dollars heading her way, aside from helping Regina Mills. She was interrupted however when August appeared beside her.

“Hey, how’s your night going?”

“Good thanks,” Emma smiled, sipping her Kalik. She still loved the beers, even if they did remind her of Henry as well as the Bahamas now.

“Your parents are coming over tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I need to speak to David about some carpentry work,” August explained. “There’s this complicated joinery technique I can’t get right and I know he’s got some experience. Reckon I could drop by some time?”

“Sure,” Emma nodded. “Come over after lunch tomorrow if you like.”

Storybrooke was a small town, with everyone knowing everyone. She liked the intimate community and the fact that friendships spanned generations. She wasn’t sure her adoptive father knew the true extent of her relationship with August however and she didn’t really want him to find out. Dads were dads, after all.

“Or I could come over tonight and then I’d just be there when they arrived,” August said, leaning in slightly towards Emma.

It shouldn’t have surprised Emma that the proposition had been made. It had been months since they had been together and she knew August wasn’t dating anyone. Under normal circumstances, she would have said yes but …

“I don’t think so, sorry,” Emma said, patting August on the arm.

A slight frown crossed the man’s forehead but he accepted her answer with a short nod. He had never pushed her. Neither of them had ever pushed each other. If they had, perhaps they would have fallen into a relationship or sorts. Emma was glad, therefore, that the lack of pressure had kept their arrangement casual. She loved August as a friend and enjoyed their occasional nights together but she had never wanted anything more from him.

“I’ll come over around three then,” August said, straightening up and glancing around the bar to see what needed to be done.

“Great,” Emma smiled. “See you then.”

August nodded and smiled at her before moving to the other side of the bar and helping Ruby who was wrestling with a stubborn beer keg which needed to be changed. Emma watched without really seeing. She was thinking about her answer to August, about why she had turned him down. She couldn’t deny that she was attracted to her friend and she also couldn’t deny that her nights had felt rather lonely in recent weeks. It would be nice to wake up with a warm body pressed against her own once in a while. But not August’s, not any more. Fleetingly, the image of another person, arms wrapped tightly around her waist, flashed across her mind. Emma’s eyes widened and she reached for her beer, chugging down the rest of the bottle as Regina Mills faded from her imagination.

* * *

Cora might have been sceptical about her daughter’s decision to approach the woman who inherited her ex-husband’s estate to ask for money but she knew now it had been the right thing to do. She couldn’t remember seeing her daughter so happy and couldn’t help but smile widely herself when she heard the brunette humming a jolly tune as she descended the stairs that Sunday morning.

“Coffee?” she asked when the woman, hair still ruffled from sleep, sank into a chair at the dining table.

“Please,” Regina nodded. “How was your night?”

“Only woke up once,” Cora said as she filled the kettle. She had suffered with arthritis for years but the chronic pain had been flaring up more frequently in recent months. There were days when it hurt to move at all and during a particularly bad patch the previous year, she had moved in with her daughter. Although the medication was now preventing the worse of the pain, she still lived with Regina, neither woman wanting nor needing to broach the subject of Cora possibly getting her own place again. The arrangement suited them, and they were happy.

“What do you want to do today?” Cora asked as she took a seat opposite her daughter.

“Nothing,” Regina replied, stifling a yawn.

The weekend had been long in every sense of the word. Saturday had been an emotional roller coaster and she was still struggling to comprehend just how well things had gone with Emma. And then the long drive back had been plagued with thoughts of the kind-hearted blonde, her pessimistic side trying to work out if the other woman could possibly have an ulterior motive or if she really was just helping Regina because she thought it was the right thing to do. By the time she had returned to Chicago, her sister and family had already arrived. Regina liked her brother-in-law, Robin, well enough, but had been more than happy to escape to the living room where she played with Roland and Robyn until dinner was served. The children loved their Auntie Regina and by the time her mother called them through, she was exhausted from being used as a human climbing frame. So on that Sunday, Regina was very much looking forward to just relaxing.

“What about the art show?” Cora said.

Regina bit her lip. She had forgotten about that and the promise she had made to her mother to accompany her. Managing to keep her groan internal, she forced a smile.

“Sure, when is it?”

Cora smiled. She had always loved art shows but didn’t like to attend functions alone and Regina was her preferred companion. She loved her daughters equally but Regina’s … condition, meant they spent far more time together and in may ways were closer than Cora and Zelena ever could or would be. It hadn’t been easy, of course, and there were times when she would cry herself to sleep at night, thinking of the pain and confusion Regina was suffering through. But the light at the end of the tunnel had appeared. In the form of a stranger. A certain Emma Swan. Regina hadn’t said much about the woman whom she had met in Storybrooke and Cora could feel her curiosity mounting. Regina didn’t keep things from her, not important things anyway. And somehow Cora could tell that this woman, whoever she was, would change their lives in a way none of them could quite yet tell. She just hoped Regina wouldn’t get hurt in the process. She had been through too much already; she deserved her happiness.

The kettle boiled and Cora stood to make the coffee, which in her and Regina’s minds, was liquid happiness at least.

* * *

Emma loved her parents, she really did. But by the time she waved them off on Friday evening, she was ready to have her bungalow back. Mary Margaret gave her an extra long hug and murmured in her ear for Emma to call them more often. A pang of guilt shot through the blonde. She had never been great at that. Once a month was about all she could manage and a spatter of texts in between. She knew they both deserved better. David kissed her on the forehead, told her he loved her and climbed into the truck after his wife. She waved them off down the road and then sank onto the top step of her porch.

The weather had been delightful all week and she stretched out her tanned legs, allowing the fading evening sun to warm her skin for a while. She supposed she should go into town and see Ruby. Apart from a brief coffee with her parents and her best friend, she hadn’t seen the redhead all week. Clambering up to her feet once more, she headed inside to change.

When she crawled beneath her sheets some time after one in the morning several hours later, Emma wasn’t sure going to The Rabbit Hole had been the best decision of her life. She hoped her hangover wasn’t too bad the following day. After all, she had a long drive ahead of her. It had surprised her how easily August had given in to her request, especially with casual sex off the table. But he loved her as a friend and her incessant pleading had eventually worn him down. Emma didn’t ask for favours too often so he had known it was a big deal. As sleep claimed her, Emma was trying to remember exactly how to drive a motorbike. She was sure it would all come flooding back to her.

* * *

There were many positives about being best friends with your supervisor but the fact that Regina never had to work weekends was surely one of the highlights. She loved her lazy Saturday mornings and that week was no exception. She was curled up on a garden chair, the newspaper folded on her lap and a cup of coffee in her hands. Despite the noises of the city filtering in over the high brick walls which encircled the space, she was feeling remarkably peaceful. The trilling of her cell phone interrupted that feeling seconds later. And when she saw the caller ID, her heart thudded almost painfully fast.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Regina?”

“Yes,” Regina replied, the voice on the other end of the call already achingly familiar.

“It’s Emma Swan.”

“I know,” Regina said with a slight smile.

“Oh, of course,” Emma said. She sounded a little distracted and Regina didn’t say any more, waiting to hear what the blonde had called her for.

“Um, are you busy?”

“No,” Regina replied. “Just reading the paper.”

“Are you at home?”

“Yes,” Regina said, curiosity mounting.

“108 Mifflin Street.”

Regina’s jaw dropped. “Yeah, how did you -?”

“I’m outside.”

Regina looked towards the front door as if she had suddenly developed x-ray vision and would be able to verify the impossible claim. Without hanging up the call, she climbed to her feet and walked quickly through the house. Her mother called out a question from the kitchen as she passed but she ignored it, walking faster and faster until her fingers clasped the lock and turned.

A flash of blonde filled her vision as Emma whipped her head around and faced the open door.

“Hi,” she said, almost shyly.

Regina still didn’t say anything. She was busy taking in the woman stood on her doorstep. Emma was wearing black leather trousers, black motorcycle boots and a red leather jacket. Under her arm was tucked a shiny helmet and as Regina peered past her, she saw the machine itself parked in the street.

“Um, hi,” Regina said at last, fumbling to end the continuing call on her cell and slipping the phone back into her pocket. “Er … what are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry, I should have called earlier,” Emma said quickly. “It was a last minute trip. I only decided last night and then it was about midnight and I didn’t think you’d appreciate being woken. Is this a bad time? Should I go?”

“No, it’s fine,” Regina said. “I’m just … surprised,” she finished lamely. “Come in.”

She stood back and allowed Emma to step into her house. Just as she was pulling off her boots, Cora peered around the kitchen door.

“We have visitors?”

Emma looked up and blushed. She had forgotten Regina mentioned how she lived with her mother; the woman previously married to Henry Mills, the man who left her his fortune. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. She straightened, her socked feet wriggling nervously against the wooden floor.

“Sorry for barging in like this,” Emma said. “I’m Emma. Emma Swan.”

Cora supposed it was the years socialising in high society which had trained her to hide emotions so well and she was able to keep the look of surprise off her face, instead offering a wide smile at the introduction.

“Emma,” she said, stepping out of the kitchen and towards the blonde stranger. “I’m Regina’s mother, Cora. It’s great to finally meet you. Regina’s told me what you’re doing for her and she and I are just so grateful.”

She reached out her hand to shake Emma’s and the blonde took it, feeling the gnarled, swollen joints beneath her palm. She didn’t squeeze hard, despite hating limp handshakes. Arthritis was a horribly painful condition.

“Would you like a tea or coffee?” Cora asked, glancing between the two women.

“Coffee would be great, thanks,” Emma smiled and Regina nodded her agreement.

“Why don’t you two head outside. It’s a lovely day. I’ll make the drinks and bring them out to you in a bit, ok?”

“Thanks Ma,” Regina said with a smile.

She led the way silently into the garden and dragged a second chair out to put beside the one she had just vacated. Sitting back down, Regina looked curiously at the blonde who was glancing around the garden with interest.

“Nice place,” Emma said as she took her seat.

“No it’s not,” Regina said.

She loved being outside but gardening was not her forte. Nor was it her mother’s. There were a few wilting plants in pots by the back door, a trellis with a spidery vine growing up it against a crumbling brick wall, and a chipped, mossy patio, on which their chairs rested.

“It’s cute,” Emma grinned.

Regina could have denied that compliment too but decided against it. Emma clearly wanted to say something nice about the house so she supposed she’d better let her.

“Thanks,” Regina said. “Um … this is a surprise. I thought you’d said you’d call if you heard from Mr Gold about the money.”

“Oh, I did say that,” Emma said. “But that’s not why I’m here. I haven’t heard a peep from the lawyers all week.”

Regina frowned. If Emma hadn’t received the money … Her heart beat faster, dread rising within her.

“Then why are you here?”

Emma bit her lip. Regina felt her eyes burn with tears. No, this wasn’t happening. Not now, not when she was so close.

“I just fancied a ride.”

Regina blinked rapidly, forcing the tears at bay.

“What?”

“Yeah, I used to ride quite a bit but I sold my bike years ago to buy a new camera lens and don’t get out much. August lent me his and I figured I’d go for a spin.”

“You … span to Chicago?”

Emma blushed slightly. “It’s far, I know, but yeah. I like the city and I thought … I wanted to see you.”

“You wanted to -.”

“Coffee,” announced Cora, interrupting the conversation as she stepped outside with a tray laden with drinks and food. “Emma, dear, I didn’t know how you take it so I’ve brought milk, cream, and sugar.”

“Thanks, Mrs Mills,” Emma said, jumping up and taking the heavy tray from the woman and lowering it carefully onto the small wooden table between herself and Regina. “Wow, those cookies look amazing.”

“I hope you enjoy them,” she beamed. “I baked them yesterday. So … is everything alright? I mean, with the money and everything?”

“What?” Emma frowned. “Oh, yes, yes. I haven’t received it yet. I’m just up today to … say hi.”

Cora’s eyebrows rose in surprise before she could stop them. “Well, that’s just lovely,” she said after a moment’s pause. “I’ll leave you two to catch up. Oh, Regina, honey, I’m meeting the girls to play bridge this evening. Will you be joining us?”

“Um,” Regina said, glancing at Emma. “No, not today. Is that ok? Or do you need me to make up numbers?”

“No, no,” Cora assured her. “Cynthia’s granddaughter is in town so we have more than enough people. Enjoy your coffees.”

Emma and Regina both thanked Cora before the older woman disappeared into the house. Emma leaned forwards and added cream to her coffee before taking a sip. She sighed in contentment. It had been a long drive and she had been on the road for over three hours. When she settled back in her chair, she noticed that Regina hadn’t moved and was staring at her with a curious expression.

“Are you ok?”

“You rode a motorcycle to Chicago from Ohio to say hi?”

Emma shrugged. “I had nothing else to do today and like I said, I wanted to ride.”

“To Chicago.”

“Why not? It’s a nice city.”

“And you haven’t …?” She couldn’t finish the sentence but Emma didn’t need her too. She could read the worry and doubt in Regina’s face.

“Changed my mind? No,” she assured. “I still very much want to help you, Regina. I’m not here to tell you anything bad, I promise. I just … yeah, I wanted to see you.”

Regina blushed slightly at the compliment. Emma smiled.

“Thank you,” she said. “It’s nice to see you too.”

“And you’re really not busy? You don’t mind me turning up without calling? I know it’s rude but it was a last-minute trip. Kinda unplanned and beer fuelled.”

“No, it’s fine,” Regina said. “You’re more than welcome any time.”

Emma grinned and sipped her coffee. “I might take you up on that.”

Regina reached for her own drink for something to do, to buy herself some time. She didn’t quite know how to respond to what Emma had said. The whole situation had thrown her slightly off-kilter. She hoped she got back on quickly though, she didn’t like feeling uncomfortable in her own home. Not that Emma made her feel uncomfortable, it was more the way she was looking at her, that unfamiliar glint in her eye.

“You’re overthinking,” came Emma’s words, interrupting Regina’s admittedly busy thoughts.

“Sorry,” Regina said. “Would you like a cookie?”

She offered the plate to her guest in an attempt to regain some control. Emma smiled knowingly and accepted treat.

“So how’s your week been?” Emma asked, shrugging off her leather jacket. Regina’s eyes trailed over the defined arm muscles beneath for a moment before she snapped back to the question and began to tell Emma about her work.

* * *

Two hours later, Cora appeared with some sandwiches, interrupting the conversation which was still flowing easily. The older Mills had glanced out of the kitchen window periodically during that time and every sneaky peek had shown her daughter smiling or laughing or talking animatedly with the young blonde woman. Cora couldn’t remember the last time she had seen Regina so … enthralled by another human. And Emma certainly appeared equally captivated by Regina. Cora wondered if either woman had any clue as to what was happening between them. She doubted Regina did but Emma? Perhaps she knew. And if she knew, did that mean she had really travelled up that day just to see Regina? Or did she want to do more than just see her? Cora didn’t care who her daughter fell in love with, just as long as they treated her right. And from what she had seen of Emma Swan, she thought perhaps the blonde would do just that.

But she didn’t say anything about what she suspected when she handed over their lunch. They’d work it out in their own time. Regina’s innocence and inexperience might mean it would take her a little longer than Emma but Cora could already tell that whatever was between them was special. It would happen, she was sure. She just hoped Regina would be open to it when it did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: we’re making slow progress, I promise! Also an extra bit thank you to everyone who’s reviewed. I wasn’t sure how this story was going to be received and I’ve been completely overwhelmed by your support. You’re all wonderful, open-minded, considerate people and I hope I do this sensitive subject matter justice. Big love!


	6. Pizza and cocktails

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: sorry, work trip took me away from wifi. Yes, it is the 21st century. Anyway, this was written before I left but I didn’t have time to upload it. Oops!

It wasn’t that they hadn’t noticed how late it was getting. They had. But neither woman wanted to mention it, both secretly hoping that the inevitable would happen and it would become too late for Emma leave and get back to Storybrooke safely. It was Cora popping her head out and letting them know she was off to her bridge club that prompted the conversation. They simultaneously looked up at the darkening sky and then at each other.

“It’s a long drive,” Regina said timidly.

“It is,” Emma nodded.

“And I wouldn’t want you to put yourself in danger.”

“I’m a good driver,” Emma assured.

Regina smiled softly. Both women knew that the failing night wasn’t really the reason for their delicate dance.

“We have a guest room,” Regina said. “If you’d like to stay.”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude,” Emma replied at once.

“And yet you drove up here unannounced this morning,” Regina quipped, a playful glint in her eye letting Emma know she was only teasing.

“Are you sure?” Emma asked.

“Positive,” Regina nodded. “After everything you’re doing for me, I think it’s the least I can do for you.”

“Then let me take you out for dinner,” Emma said. “To say thank you for putting me up without notice.”

Regina accepted, knowing already that Emma was stubborn and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Plus she liked the thought of going out to a restaurant with the blonde. More time to talk, to get to know each other, to be with someone who knew Regina’s true, complex identity and yet made it seem, somehow, insignificant. Emma hadn’t referred to the fact that Regina was waiting to have a sex change all day. She hadn’t referred to the fact that Regina had that pesky spare appendage. She hadn’t referred to the fact that Regina was taking handfuls hormones to counteract the testosterone still flooding through her system because her body was wrong. She hadn’t mentioned any of it. Because to Emma, Regina was just … Regina.

“We can ride the bike to the restaurant if you like,” Emma said as she followed Regina into the house soon after six in the evening. “Unless there’s somewhere close by you’d rather eat.”

“No, let’s go into town,” Regina said. “But I’ll call a cab.”

“Too scared to get on the back of the motorbike?” Emma teased.

Regina paused, lowering the empty plates and cups which they’d accumulated outside into the sink. She was scared, but not of the bike. The images flashed through her head. Emma’s back pressed against her front, her arms wrapped tightly around a slender waist as they hurtled through the streets. Her thighs trembling as they gripped against Emma’s hips. Her crotch impossibly close to a toned, leather-clad ass. Emma realised what the problem was before Regina voiced it. Well, part of the problem.

“Shit. The touching thing. Regina, I’m really sorry, I didn’t think. A cab’s a great idea, shall I ring for one?”

“I’m sorry too,” Regina said, turning around and looking at Emma who was internally kicking herself for forgetting about Regina’s dislike of physical contact. “I’d love to ride on the bike to be honest. I’ve never been on one before and they look fun. But -.”

“It’s ok,” Emma interrupted. “You don’t have to explain.”

“Maybe another time?”

Emma grinned widely both at the prospect of getting Regina on the back of August’s bike and of seeing the other woman again in the future. The ride that morning had been spur of the moment but now Emma was sure she wanted to spend more time with the woman. Regina was interesting and funny and smart and quick-witted. She loved Ruby and August and her other friends in Storybrooke but there was something about Regina. Something different. Something special.

“We’re not going anywhere dressy, are we?” Emma said as she watched Regina descend the stairs into the hallway twenty minutes later.

The brunette had transformed. Her hair was now straightened, flicking out slightly at the ends. Her jeans and sweater had been discarded too in favour of a high-neck, black dress which ended just below her knee. Her calves were bare. And hairless.

“No, it’s just a little pizzeria,” Regina assured. “Deep-dish pizza, of course.”

“I feel underdressed,” Emma admitted, looking down at the leather she was still sporting. The material was starting to get a little hot too. She had not thought the outfit through any further than riding the bike. Despite her secret wishes, she had decided it was too presumptuous to pack an overnight bag, something she was now regretting.

“Don’t worry,” Regina said, slipping on a pair of peep-toed heels. “It’s not fancy. And you look great. Leather suits you.”

Emma grinned. “Thanks.”

Flicking off all the lights except for the hallway, Regina led the way out of the house to the street where the cab she had called was waiting for them. Emma rushed ahead to open the door and Regina thanked her as she slid into the back seat, Emma climbing in after her. The drive to the restaurant was silent, both women suddenly realising just how date-like the evening had become.

* * *

The restaurant was busy and noisy but somehow relaxed the two women and by the time they were seated in a far corner, Emma had stopped worrying about how the turn of events appeared and eagerly picked up the menu, suddenly famished.

“Wanna share something?” she asked, scanning the array of dishes.

“Sure,” Regina replied. “As long as we can get a side salad as well as a pizza.”

“Sounds great,” Emma said. “You pick the topping.”

“No, no. You’re the visitor, you pick.”

“But I’m paying so you should choose,” Emma insisted.

Regina chuckled. Arguing with Emma was like nothing else she had ever experienced. As annoying as the blonde could be, their ever more frequent back and forth banter was, for want of a better word, adorable.

“Keep it simple and go pepperoni?”

“You read my mind,” Emma grinned just as a waiter appeared.

Before Regina could protest, Emma had promptly ordered the most expensive red wine on the table and requested their food. Quashing the brunette’s protests, Emma insisted that this was not only her treat but a mini-vacation for her and therefore no expense would be spared. And anyway, the most expensive bottle had only come in at just over fifty dollars which, now she was a millionaire, hardly broke the bank.

“Are you getting used to it?” Regina asked. “Having money?”

“I don’t have it yet, remember?” Emma said. “And no, not really. I still can’t quite believe it’s real. I don’t think I will until it all lands in my account. Even then I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with it.”

“Spend it,” Regina replied. “Trust me, it’s easy.”

“Was it hard going the other way?” Emma asked. “Growing up privileged and then -.”

She stopped, not sure quite what to say. She didn’t know much about what had happened to Regina and her family after Henry walked out on them but she assumed their financial situation had changed substantially.

“It took a bit of adjustment,” Regina said quietly. “My mother still struggles sometimes. Like the art show I told you about. But I’d never really been one for expensive things anyway so it didn’t bother me so much. My sister’s medical school fees were a burden though. My mother sold the house we lived in to help pay for them actually.”

“I’m sorry,” Emma said.

“Why are you sorry?” Regina asked. “It was my father who left us like that, not you. Just because he bequeathed everything to you in his will doesn’t mean you in any way have to feel bad for us now, Emma.”

The defensive, almost angry tone shocked the blonde and she blinked several times before answering.

“I didn’t mean that,” she said softly. “I just was thinking it must have been hard.”

Regina sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “It was,” she nodded. “And I’m sorry I snapped. I just … can we not talk about my father right now? Let’s talk about you.”

“What do you want to know?” Emma asked, thanking the waiter who had just appeared with their wine.

“Bumped into any more exes at the lake this week?” Regina asked with a wink.

Emma rolled her eyes, the memory of Seb the previous weekend coming back to her. She had seen him since, in fact, at The Rabbit Hole. She had made sure she was engrossed in conversation with August when he made his was towards him.

“Sometimes Storybrooke really is too small,” Emma laughed. “But this week hasn’t been too bad. Only a guy who’s more of a friend than anything else. And Seb, briefly.”

“You have a friends with benefits situation?”

“Had,” Emma corrected. “It’s kind of fizzled out, to be honest. August’s great but I don’t want anything serious with him and after ten years of casual sex, I guess I just got bored.”

“Ten years!” Regina exclaimed. “Jesus, Emma, that’s not casual, is it?”

“I don’t love him,” Emma shrugged. “He’s a mate and I like him well enough but there was never that spark, you know? The sex was great, sure, but without emotions it was just … perfunctory. It was great, don’t get me wrong, but meaningless.”

“No spark, huh?” Regina said. “Have you ever felt … sparky?”

Emma grinned at the innocence of the question. Talking to Regina about these things was both easy and delicate, Emma had realised. Easy because she felt so comfortable around the brunette and delicate because she was so naive about sex. In some ways, at least.

“With one of my exes, yeah,” Emma nodded. “Lily.”

Regina’s eyebrows shot up her forehead before she could stop them. Emma didn’t seem to mind. She waited for Regina to ask the inevitable question.

“Lily was a woman?”

Emma nodded. “Yeah. She was. Is, in fact. We broke up about three years ago now. She moved away for a new job and our relationship couldn’t handle it. Long distance didn’t suit us. We tried for a few months but it was too much of a strain. I think she cheated on me in the end, although she never admitted to it.”

“I’m sorry,” Regina offered.

“It’s ok,” Emma said. “I was heart-broken at the time but I’m over it now.”

“So you’re … bisexual?”

Emma shrugged. “I’ve never exactly labeled myself,” she admitted. “But I’ve had sex with both men and women. I suppose genitals were never a factor for me in terms of who I found attractive. I mean people are more than their genders, aren’t they?”

“I like to think so,” Regina said with a knowing look in her eye.

Emma laughed. Sometimes she really did forget that she wasn’t sitting opposite a biological woman. Regina was just so … feminine.

Once their pizza arrived the two of them fell silent for a moment, savouring the delicious food. Well, Emma savoured the pizza, Regina got stuck into the salad until Emma practically forced a slice into her hand.

“Come on, it’s not like you have to worry about your waistline,” Emma said. “You’ve got a great figure.”

Regina blushed at the compliment again and accepted the slice. She bit into it, the melted cheese hitting her tongue and making her moan. Emma stared at her, slack-jawed. Her pulse raced as she watched the brunette, her eyes closed, savouring the food. When brown orbs eventually fluttered open, Emma coughed and quickly looked away. Regina did too, her cheeks burning.

“So you usually spend your Saturday evenings playing bridge with your mother?” Emma asked when their plates were clean and their wine glasses replenished.

“I do have a life, you know,” Regina said. “Despite how it may look.”

Emma chuckled. “I’m sure you do.”

“Really, I have friends,” Regina insisted. “Not many but a few. And I like going to the movies or even out to a cocktail bar sometimes. Not clubs though.”

“Too crowded?”

Regina nodded. She had been once, on her twenty-first birthday. Zelena and Kathryn had dragged her out but after five minutes of being buffeted about in a busy, dark, sweaty room, she had left in tears. The women hadn’t tried to get her back into one since.

“Well maybe we could go to a bar and get a drink after this?” Emma suggested, glancing at her watch. It was still early and she certainly didn’t want the night to end.

“Sounds nice,” Regina nodded. “There’s a great gin place around the corner.” Emma made a face. “Or not?”

“I hate gin,” Emma said simply.

Regina laughed. Emma’s stomach did a little flip at the sound. “They have other spirits too. They just specialise in gin. I’m sure they can rustle you up something with a different base.”

“Well if that’s where you want to go, then that’s where we’ll go,” Emma said, signalling for their waiter to bring the check.

“Are you going to let me pay for half of this?” Regina asked, reaching for her bag on the floor.

“Nope,” Emma said firmly.

“Please, Emma, I feel bad allowing you to take the whole bill.”

“It was my idea, I’ll pay,” Emma insisted, handing over her credit card to the waiter and grabbing Regina’s wrist as she reached to do the same.

Regina gasped and Emma dropped her hand at once.

“Shit, I forgot, I’m sorry!” Emma exclaimed.

“It’s ok,” Regina said, lowering her still extended arm back to her lap.

And truth be told, the gasp had been elicited not by the touch, but by the person who touched her. The feel of Emma’s fingers wrapped around her wrist had not sent shockwaves of panic through Regina as physical contact usually did but something much less familiar and much more powerful. She stared at the skin where Emma had touched her, her mind racing.

“Regina?”

The brunette snapped her eyes up to look at the concerned woman across from her. Emma looked so guilty, so concerned about Regina that her heart broke just a little bit. Without thinking, she reached over and patted Emma’s hand which lay on the table.

“It’s ok,” Regina assured her. “I’m ok.”

This time it was Emma’s turn to be lost for words as she watched Regina hand retract from her own, fingers laying numbly on the tablecloth, too heavy to move.

“Shall we go?” Regina prompted after a full minute.

“Sure,” Emma said, bringing herself back to the room with a little shake, collecting her card and standing up.

* * *

By the time they stumbled to the curb and into the back of a cab two hours later, Emma was struggling to see straight. As soon as they’d arrived in the gin bar, the two of them had ordered cocktails, quickly followed by a second set. They were delicious, but strong, and soon the two women were sitting in a booth together, giggling and chatting away even more animatedly than before.

Emma leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes as Regina gave the driver her address. They sped off through the dark street and as they turned a corner, Regina slid on the smooth faux-leather seat and collided with Emma’s side. The blonde tensed, her mind not too alcohol-fogged to remember Regina’s dislike for human contact. But Regina didn’t move. She just leaned against her, sighing contently. Emma stayed stock-still, waiting. Regina’s head came to rest on Emma’s shoulder, her eyes closed.

“That’ll be twenty-three dollars, love.”

The driver’s voice jolted Regina awake and she sat up slowly and looked around. She was outside her house and Emma was paying the fare. Emma, who was very, very close to her. Regina rubbed her forehead and frowned.

“You ok?” Emma asked, seeing the confusion on the brunette’s face.

“I fell asleep?”

“You did,” Emma nodded. “But don’t worry, you didn’t dribble on me.”

“Thank goodness,” Regina said, deciding to ignore the fact that she had awoken snuggled into Emma’s side and her body hadn’t panicked at the sensation.

They climbed clumsily out of the cab and Regina led the way up the path. Reminding Emma in an exaggerated whisper that they needed to be quiet and not wake Cora, Regina opened the door and they tiptoed inside. Emma’s boots were wrestled off and Regina kicked her heels carelessly into the skirting board. The staircase was more of a challenge and they pulled themselves up using the bannisters, Emma stubbing her toe more than once by the time they reached the landing above.

“This way,” Regina whispered, heading towards the little-used guest room at the far end of the house.

The door creaked as they opened it and Emma reached for the bedside light. Once bathed in its soft glow she could see the room was small but clean. Regina noted her mother had changed the sheets. She didn’t know if she was pleased or disappointed about that. And if she was disappointed, she wasn’t quite sure why.

“There’s towels and new toothbrushes in the bathroom at the top of the stairs,” Regina whispered. “Do you need anything else?”

“No,” Emma replied. “Thanks.”

Regina nodded and backed out of the room. Emma sat on the bed and watched her go, a dopey grin on her face. Just before she was out of sight, Regina paused. Then she moved forwards until she was standing in the spare room again, Emma looking up at her expectantly.

“I had a great time tonight,” Regina whispered. “Thank you.”

“I had an awesome time too,” Emma assured her.

Regina hesitated, nodded briskly, and retreated again. She really did disappear this time but before Emma could even begin to muster the energy to stand up and head to the bathroom, Regina was back in the doorway.

“What now?” Emma said, with an exaggerated huff but a twinkle in her eye.

“Was this a date?”

Emma blinked. Regina stepped inside and closed the door.

“I’ve never been on a date,” she said. “I don’t know if that was what this is.”

“Oh,” Emma said slowly. “Um, I suppose it had date-like qualities.”

“What qualities?” Regina said, moving to sit beside Emma on the bed.

“The restaurant was date-like,” Emma said. “We shared food. There was wine. I paid.”

“There was wine,” Regina nodded slowly. “And then there was gin. Was that date-like too?”

“I’m not sure people usually get quite this drunk on a first date,” Emma pointed out. “But yes, cocktails can certainly be considered date etiquette.”

“What else?”

Emma turned to Regina on the bed and was surprised to realise just how close the brunette had sat down beside her. She hoped this wasn’t because the brunette was drunk and that she really was comfortable in Emma’s presence.

“What else?”

“What else about tonight was a date?”

Emma swallowed thickly. “Perhaps … I mean, maybe … So, I guess … how I feel.”

“Feel?”

Emma nodded.

“Feel about what?”

“About you.”

The words were the quietest of whispers, almost lost in the room. Regina’s breath hitched and she searched Emma’s face, trying to read the emotions there. Her eyes settled on Emma’s lips, pale pink and suddenly so inviting. Emma knew what Regina was looking at and didn’t move, didn’t dare scare off the woman hovering mere inches away from her.

It was as if it was happening in slow motion, as if time had almost stood still. Regina felt like it took her an age to lean forwards, hours for her eyes to slowly close just as Emma’s did the same. It seemed as if years had passed before her lips finally pressed against Emma’s. The blonde’s mouth was warm against her own, the lips smooth and soft. And then, all of a sudden, time sped up again and she was reeling back, her eyes snapping open and her cheeks burning like fire. Before Emma had even opened her eyes, Regina was standing up, reaching for the door.

“Hey, don’t freak out,” Emma said, itching to reach for the brunette but knowing she couldn’t.

Regina stilled once more, her back to Emma. She was waiting.

“Regina, it’s ok,” Emma said quietly. “What happened was ok. I’m ok with it, if you are. I … I like you, Regina.”

“You do?” Regina said, turning around to look at Emma at last, her eyes filled with tears.

Emma got to her feet at once, walking to stand in front of the brunette. She wished she could wipe those tears away as they spilled down her beautiful cheeks. No one that beautiful should ever be sad, Emma thought.

“I really, really do,” she said.

Regina let out a sound that was halfway between a sigh of relief, a cry, and a laugh. Emma thought it was adorable.

“I like you too,” Regina said. “At least, I think I do. I mean, I’ve never felt like this before so I’m not really sure what it is.”

“That’s ok,” Emma assured. “We can take it slow. And we should probably talk more before anything else happens. Soberly.”

Although the kiss had certainly woken Emma up, she was still aware that she had consumed a lot of alcohol that night and knew Regina had too. Something so important, so special, should be given more time, more focus, than either could afford it right then.

“Ok,” Regina said slowly. “Tomorrow?”

“I’ll be here,” Emma nodded. “Just come and wake me in the morning. I usually sleep late when I’m hungover.”

“Ok,” Regina said. “Sleep well.”

“You too,” Emma said. “Good night.”

“Night,” Regina said, stepping out into the corridor.

Just before she reached her own room, Emma’s whisper of her name made her turn around.

Leaning against the doorframe, backlit by the lamp to make her look like some kind of etherial angel, Emma spoke: “This was definitely a date, just so you know.”

Regina clapped a hand over her mouth to stop the giggle from escaping. Emma winked at her before disappearing back into the room. At last, Regina found herself inside her own bedroom and fell, face first, onto the bed. She couldn’t believe what had just happened. Was it all a dream? Would she wake up and find out she’d imagined it all? The faint taste of Emma’s coconut-based cocktail on her lips told her otherwise and she grinned into her pillow until she drifted off to sleep, fully clothed but happier than she could ever remember feeling in her entire life.


	7. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: being semi-unemployed is bad because I have no money but good because I have loads of time to write for you guys!

It took almost a full minute after Regina woke up for her to recall the events of the previous evening. When it all came flooding back to her, she groaned and rolled over, burying her face in the pillow and letting out a long sigh. Had she screwed things up? Had she thrown away her chance to be who she knew she should be thanks to a drunken mistake? She could remember Emma assuring her it was ok, that she was fine with the kiss, that she liked Regina, but the blonde had been drunk. Really drunk. She couldn’t have meant it. Could she?

Realising her tongue felt horribly furry since she had fallen asleep (passed out) without brushing her teeth the previous night, Regina forced herself out of bed and shuffled down the hallway to the bathroom. The door to the guest bedroom was closed. Once she was minty fresh again, Regina climbed into the shower, letting the hot water wake her properly as she washed away the make-up from the night before and scrubbed her skin. She didn’t like showering. She didn’t like being naked. With clothes on, she at least looked like a woman. But bare, there was no hiding what her body really was. Male. She washed her penis quickly, as always, and moved on to sudsing up her breasts and stomach, eyes screwed shut so she wouldn’t have to see the flaccid member hanging between her legs. Once her hair was washed and conditioned, she got out and wrapped herself in a fluffy towel. When she emerged from the bathroom, the door to the room where Emma lay was still shut.

As she dressed, Regina glanced out the window, half expecting the motorbike to have disappeared, for Emma to have made a run for it in the middle of the night. But the sleek black machine was still outside the house, glinting in the morning sunlight. Which meant Emma really was asleep in the house. Making her way downstairs, Regina avoided her mother’s eye as she entered the kitchen. Despite being incredibly close to the older Mills, Regina didn’t feel much like answering questions about the previous evening, not least because she didn’t have the answers herself. But of course Cora wanted to know all about her daughter’s evening so she put down her book as soon as the young woman entered.

“Did you have a good night?” Cora asked, a knowing glint in her eye which Regina failed to see as she headed for the cupboard with the mugs in it and pulled two out.

“Yeah, it was fun,” Regina nodded as she switched on the kettle and began to cut some bread.

“Where did you go?”

“Luigi’s,” Regina replied. “I thought I’d show Emma what proper Chicago pizza was like at its best.”

“And then were did you guys go?”

“Who said we went anywhere else?” Regina said, turning around and looking directly at her mother for the first time that morning.

“Well unless they’ve changed their opening hours, I presume you moved on from Luigi’s, seeing as you didn’t get home until after one in the morning,” Cora said simply.

“We woke you?”

Cora nodded but she didn’t seem angry. In fact, she was smiling slightly.

“Sorry,” Regina said. They had tried to be quiet but she knew drunk people’s versions of tiptoeing and whispering were rarely successful. “After Luigi’s we went to Gintimate for a couple of cocktails and drank a little more than we planned I suppose.”

“Well, it sounds like the two of you had a nice night,” Cora said. “Is Emma still asleep?”

“I think so,” Regina nodded. “I’m going to bring up some coffee and toast to her now. I suspect she’ll want to get on the road sooner or later. It’s a long driver back to Ohio.”

“That it is,” Cora replied. “It was very nice of her to come up and see you though. She must really care about you.”

Regina blushed and turned around quickly to put the bread in the toaster, hoping her mother hadn’t noticed her reaction. She really didn’t need Cora to think there was something going on between the two women, not before she’d had a chance to discuss things with Emma.

“Um, yeah, she’s a good friend,” Regina said, her back still firmly to the older woman.

“That she is,” Cora said, smirking at her daughter before returning to the book she had been reading and saying no more.

* * *

She was creeping forwards, edging through the dense undergrowth as she followed the familiar call of the elusive bird. A cobweb wrapped itself around her face but she brushed off its sticky strands, eager to get the shot she had been waiting all day to capture. The chirping got louder; she was getting closer. And then. Knocking. Distant, far-off, but unmistakable. A woodpecker. Emma turned and looked behind her, in the direction of the sound, her hand tightening on the camera hanging around her neck. She was torn. Follow the goldfinch or change course for the woodpecker? Tap, tap, tap. Emma frowned. Now it didn't sound like a woodpecker it sounded more like -

“Emma?”

Her eyes opened slowly, squinting into the darkness of the room. A chink of light fell across her bed and she turned towards the source, the open door upon which knuckles knocking must have woken her, invading her dream.

“Regina?”

“Hi,” the woman said, stepping inside the room and closing the door with her foot before laying the tray she was carrying on the bedside table. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“What time is it?” Emma asked, pushing herself into a sitting position and rubbing her face.

“After eleven,” Regina said, now standing awkwardly by the door.

“Oh, sorry. Have you been waiting for me to get up for ages?” she asked, leaning over and taking the cup of coffee closest to her. “I told you I always sleep late after I’ve been drinking.”

“No, it’s fine,” Regina said, still standing, fingers fiddling distractedly as she watched Emma close her eyes as she took her first sip of the hot liquid.

“Wow, my head is fuzzy,” Emma said, leaning back against the headboard and curling her legs up to make room for the brunette. “Sit down,” she encouraged, realising how uncomfortable Regina looked through the gloom.

The brunette hesitated before perching on the edge of the bed in almost the exact same spot she had been in last night when the two women had …

“I’m sorry,” Regina blurted out. “For kissing you. I’m sorry. I was drunk and confused and I didn’t mean it. We can forget it ever happened and you can go back to Ohio and we can never speak of it again and -”

Emma held up her hand to quieten the babbling woman. Regina hung her head at the action, knowing what was coming next.

“Don’t be sorry,” Emma said quietly. “I’m not.”

Or perhaps she didn’t know. Slowly, she raised her eyes and looked curiously at Emma who was smiling softly at her. As she watched, Emma placed her coffee on the table and held out her hand. After a moment’s hesitation, Regina reached forwards, her fingers brushing against Emma’s palm. The blonde didn’t move, didn’t try to close her grip, she just allowed the delicate contact, Regina’s hand resting in hers.

“You’re freaking out,” Emma said gently. “And that’s fine. Most people freak out after their first kiss. It’s normal. But I just need you to know that you don’t need to. What happened last night wasn’t a drunken mistake, Regina. Ok, it may have been fuelled by alcohol but that doesn’t mean it was wrong and it doesn’t mean you should regret it. Because I don’t and I certainly don’t want to forget it. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever forget it, to be honest.”

“You won’t?” Regina frowned.

“I hope not,” Emma smiled. “It was amazing.”

“Was it?”

“Yeah,” Emma said, her skin prickling as Regina’s fingers grazed her palm in delicate strokes the brunette was hardly even aware she had begun to make.

“So, you’re not going to run back to Ohio?”

Emma sighed. “Well, I do have to go back,” she reminded Regina. “I live there and my work is there. But I wouldn’t say I’ll be running. Shuffling reluctantly perhaps, but not running.”

Regina smiled and Emma positively beamed at the sight. The brunette was always gorgeous but when she smiled she was dazzlingly beautiful.

“I meant what I said last night, Regina,” Emma continued. “I like you. I really like you actually.”

“I like you too,” Regina said. “But I’m not sure if I’m ready for … I’m just not quite … Look,” she said, running her fingers through her hair before starting again, “I like you, Emma. But I’m not comfortable as me yet so I don’t think I’m in a place where I can start something with you.”

Emma nodded her understanding and offered a sad smile. She did understand, she really did. She just wished Regina was able to believe in herself a little more, was able to see what Emma saw when she looked at the woman before her. But if Regina wasn’t ready, then that was fine. Emma could wait; she was sure Regina would be worth it.

“I get it,” Emma said. “You can’t see why anyone would like you when you don’t even like yourself.”

“It’s not that I hate myself,” Regina said quickly. “I like who I am as a person. It’s just my body. I don’t truly feel like the person I know I’m supposed to be. Not yet, anyway.”

“But I like you as a person regardless of your body,” Emma said. “Doesn’t that count for anything?”

Regina smiled. “It means the world to me, Emma,” she assured the sad-looking blonde. “You’re the first person who’s known who, or what, I am and still found me attractive. You have no idea how amazing that feels. But I personally don’t think I’m attractive, not in this body. Regardless of how my face may look and how I dress, my body still feels wrong. Hate is a strong word and I don’t like to use it but my body, my skin, it’s wrong, Emma, and I can’t quite bear the thought of anyone seeing me like this.”

Emma nodded again. “Ok,” she said. “I get it, Regina. I really do. You don’t have to explain anything to me but when you are ready, when you do feel comfortable, whenever that is, just know I’m going to be waiting.”

Regina scoffed. “You can’t say that, Emma,” she said. “It could be years before I feel open to a relationship. You’ve known me two weeks; you’re not going to put your life on pause on the off-chance that I, at some point in the future, am going to be ready.”

“It may have only been two weeks but I know how I feel,” Emma said firmly. “And I’m not trying to put pressure on you or scare you, Regina, but I will wait. I want to wait. Because I want you. And until that time, until you’re ready, I’ll be here for you as a friend. Whatever you need, just say the word.”

Regina felt her eyes fill with tears as she saw the fierce determination and belief on Emma’s face. She didn’t quite know how it had happened but it seemed that during their brief friendship, intensely strong feelings had developed between the two of them and not only was Emma aware of them but she was willing to act on them. Or wait to act, Regina supposed.

“Why?” Regina whispered. “Why are you doing this?”

Emma slowly turned her hand and slid her fingers between Regina’s lacing them together. She watched the brunette’s face as she did so, keeping her grip loose so the brunette could pull away at any moment. She didn’t. She just watched with rapt attention as the pale fingers slotted perfectly between her own, her skin tingling in the most delightful way where Emma touched her. Her heart beat faster but it wasn’t in the usual, panicked way. It was … excitement.

“You, Regina, are one of the most incredible people I have ever met. You know that spark I talked about last night? I felt it the first time I saw you, before I even knew anything about you. And it wasn’t just because you’re stunningly beautiful. It was deeper than that. It was something in your eyes. It was like I was looking into your soul or something. I felt a connection between us and with every moment I’ve spent with you that connection has grown stronger. I don’t care what your body is like. I don’t care if you’re male or female or transgender or transsexual or asexual or any of the other labels which you might want to use. I like you, Regina. You. Who you are as a person is what I’m attracted to and I’ve never, ever felt this drawn to another person in my life. I know you’re not ready, and that’s fine. But I will wait for you, no matter how long it takes. Because this feeling comes along once in a lifetime and I’m not about to let it, or you,” she squeezed Regina’s hand lightly, “go.”

Regina reached up and brushed away the tear which was sliding down her cheek. She didn’t quite know why she was crying but Emma seemed to understand and smiled sympathetically.

“Thank you,” Regina choked. “For everything, Emma.”

“You’re welcome,” Emma smiled.

Their hands unclasped and in unison the two women reached for their coffees. Emma then snagged a piece of cooled toast off the tray and began to eat, ignoring the crumbs falling into the tangled sheets. Regina crossed her legs, sitting more securely on the bed and wrapping her hands around her mug, the warm porcelain comforting against her skin.

“We woke my mother up last night,” Regina said.

“Oops!” Emma replied. “Is she mad?”

“No,” Regina assured. “She’s just glad we had a good time. I don’t go out with new people much and I think she sometimes worried I don’t have may friends.”

There was a pause.

“Did you tell her? About the kiss?”

“No,” Regina said. “I … well, I didn’t know what it meant and even now I’m not sure quite what I’d tell her.”

“You could tell her I think you’re really cool and funny and sexy?” Emma suggested.

Regina laughed. Emma’s core clenched at the sound. She knew she had said she would wait for as long as it took for Regina to be ready and she meant it, but that didn’t mean her body didn’t want the brunette. And want her desperately.

“Maybe I’ll tell her,” Regina said. “After you’re gone.”

“Ashamed of me?” Emma teased.

“Of course not,” Regina replied. “You’re, well, you’re beautiful.”

Emma waggled her eyebrows. “And sexy.”

Regina blushed and ducked her head. “And sexy,” she agreed. Something twitched between her legs at the acknowledgement and the heat in Regina’s cheeks rose. She needed to change the subject and fast. Now was not the time to lose control of her ‘spare appendage’.

“So when are you going to set off for Storybrooke?”

“Trying to get rid of me already?” Emma asked as she finished her coffee and placed the mug back on the table.

“No, but it’s a long drive and I wouldn't want you to be driving at night.”

Emma leaned over to her cell phone and checked the time. “It’s twenty to midday,” she said. “I think we’ve got a good eight hours before nightfall.”

“Then do you want to do something before you leave?”

“Like what?” Emma asked, winking salaciously.

Regina sighed and turned away. Emma bit her lip. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that. I know you’re not ready.” She could have kicked herself for being so insensitive. Why did she always have to make an innuendo out of the simplest question? She could probably blame Ruby for that - the woman was obsessed with sex.

“See, this is what I mean,” Regina said, turning back to Emma suddenly. “You want to have sex, right?”

Emma blinked. “I, well, I mean, not now,” she spluttered. “But I’m not going to say I don’t want you in that way. I think you’re incredibly attractive, Regina. My body and my mind wants you.”

“But I can’t give you that,” Regina said, standing from the bed and pacing over to the window, tugging the curtains slightly apart so she could look outside. “I can’t have sex with you, Emma.”

“I know,” Emma assured. “I don’t expect -,”

“But you do,” Regina interrupted. “You do expect it. Not today, perhaps. But if we keep … I don’t know … seeing each other, or dating, or whatever, eventually you’re going to get tired of waiting and want us to take things to the next level. I’m not there yet, Emma. I can’t have sex. Not with you. Not with anyone. Not in this body.”

Emma threw back the covers and climbed out of bed. Ignoring the fact that she was only wearing cotton panties and a tank top after having discarded her leather outfit earlier, she walked over to stand behind Regina who was staring out through the gap in the curtains.

“Regina, look at me,” Emma said, resisting the urge to turn the brunette around using her hands.

Slowly, the brunette swivelled on the spot, her eyes fixed on the floor. She swallowed thickly as she realised that Emma’s long, toned legs were bare before her and her hands balled into fists, the fingernails digging into her palms in an attempt to focus her body away from her penis which had twitched at the sight.

“Regina,” Emma whispered.

Eventually, brown eyes dragged their way up Emma’s half-naked body and finally locked on the kind green orbs of the blonde. Emma offered a reassuring smile before she began to speak.

“I’m sorry I joked about having sex,” Emma began. “That’s not what I want to do with you today. You’re right, I do find myself attracted to you, so yes, at some point I would like to be intimate with you. But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy spending time with you doing other things though, does it? We had a great time yesterday and there wasn’t a hint of anything other than friendship. It was one of the best days I’ve had in ages, actually. And I’m not prepared to lose our friendship over something as trivial as sex.”

“Trivial?” Regina frowned. “Sex is hardly trivial.”

“In a good relationship, it is,” Emma replied. “Yes good sex is great and it can be an important part of a relationship but it doesn’t have to be. A relationship can still be deep and meaningful and loving and special without the physical representation of that love. I know you’re scared, Regina. I know this is all new and unknown and you’re confused about how you feel and you’re not alone. What I’m feeling for you scares me too.”

“It does?” Regina whispered, looking earnestly up into Emma’s face.

“I’m terrified,” Emma said simply. “My feelings for you are terrifying me because I’ve never felt anything quite so … pure in my entire life. And yes there’s an element of sexual attraction between us, I’m not going to deny that. But what I feel for you goes so far beyond that and I refuse to allow you to push me away just because you’ve convinced yourself that the only reason I’m here is because I want sex. It’s more than that, Regina, I promise.”

Regina swallowed and looked away, the intensity of Emma’s gaze making her heart beat uncontrollably fast. No one had ever looked at her in that way before. No one had ever made her feel quite so special before. It was too much. It was too overwhelming. She couldn’t deal with it.

“I’m going to have a shower and then head off.”

“What?” Regina whipped her head around to look at Emma who was already moving back towards the bed, putting distance between their overcharged, overheated bodies.

“You clearly need time to process this and to work out what it is that you want from me and from us,” Emma said, gathering her discarded clothes from the night before. “I don’t think me being here is going to help so I’ll get out of your hair. But when you’re ready, call me, ok?”

Before Regina could answer, Emma had left the bedroom. Seconds later, the bathroom door clicked shut. Regina sagged against the windowsill and stared at the deserted bedroom her mind racing to try and understand what had just happened. Was it true? Was Emma telling her the truth? Did she really like Regina enough to forgo sex? Sex, the thing the media and her friends and the entirety of society says is the best thing in the world. Does that mean Regina is worth more to Emma than sex? Or was she just lying? Was she just saying this to get Regina to agree to some sort of a relationship and then a few months down the line she would start pressurising her? Was that Emma?

No, Regina knew Emma would never do that to her. She trusted Emma not to hurt her like that. But she still didn’t believe her. How could Emma possibly want to be with her without sex even being an option? But was it? Was it an option? Not now, of course, but in the future. Would Regina want to have sex with Emma?

The twitching in her penis made Regina jump. The feeling was unfamiliar. Arousal was a very rare state for her and she couldn’t remember the last time she had had an erection. She wasn’t sure if it was because of all the hormones she took or because she just wasn’t sexually interested in anyone. So … did that mean … was she sexually attracted to Emma? The sound of the shower running conjured images into Regina's head without warning. Emma naked. Emma wet. Emma covered in soap suds. She blinked several times and hurried from the room, downstairs and out into the garden.

Which was where Emma found her twenty minutes later, her long blonde hair still wet and tied back in a messy bun. She opened the back door and stepped cautiously out onto the patio, waiting for Regina to turned towards her.

“So I guess I’ll be off,” Emma said when at last Regina looked up from the newspaper she was reading.

“Ok,” Regina said, standing up. “I’ll walk you out.”

After calling goodbye to Cora who was sitting in the living room, Emma made her way out to the street, her helmet tucked under her arm once more. Regina leaned against the gate, watching as Emma swung her leg over the bike and kicked away the stand. Before she started the engine, she looked directly into Regina’s eyes.

“Everything I told you this morning was the truth,” Emma said simply. “I will wait for you, Regina. I know you’re not ready and that’s fine. But don’t run away from this because you’re scared. We could be great together, I know it.”

Regina said nothing but nodded to show she had understood.

“Call me when you’re ready to talk, ok?” Emma said. “And I’ll call you if I hear about the money.”

Regina nodded again and watched as Emma turned the key and the bike roared to life. With a final wave, Emma flipped down her visor and revved the engine before speeding off down the street. Regina watched until the other woman was out of sight and then she turned, walking slowly back into the house, wondering which of them would be the first to call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ok so I’m happy to let you guys dictate who calls first. So which woman do you want? Regina or Emma?


	8. The Elusive Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: the vote was almost unanimous - Regina had to be the one to make the first move. So she’s going to make it!

Emma woke slowly, her light sheet tossed off during the balmy summer night and her body bare to the already clammy air. She yawned and stretched, rolling over and settling on the cooler side of the pillow as she reached for her cell phone. No messages. No missed calls. Nothing.

It had been six weeks since she had left Chicago and still her first move of the day was to see if Regina had called her. Not that she expected the brunette to ring between the hours of ten in the evening and seven in the morning but she checked anyway; she couldn’t help it. The phone had remained silent, however, for six long weeks. Emma had lost count of the number of times her fingers had hovered over her cell, itching just to press the screen and make the call. But she’d promised she wouldn’t, not unless she’d heard about the money. She wanted to give Regina space, even if it was killing her to do it.

She crawled out of bed and headed into her ensuite. The room sparkled bright white in the morning sun and she squinted against it, still unused to the glare. Perhaps she ought to get it re-fitted, she thought, as she climbed into the expansive shower. But thoughts of that faded away as the powerful jets rained down, soaking her with perfectly tempered water at once. Henry Mills might have had harsh taste in tiles but his shower fixtures were perfect. 

Yes, Emma had moved into Henry Mills’ manor house. She hadn’t been intending to. She had wanted to simply sell the property and stay in her bungalow but the moment she had entered the impressive building, she had fallen in love with it. The entrance hall, panelled in a dark, rich wood, led onto a dream-like kitchen with an adjoining dining room Emma was yet to make use of. Her choice of three reception rooms seemed excessive but she’d been unable to pick a favourite and therefore rotated each night, just to be fair. The sweeping staircase which led to the upper levels may or may not have been equipped with the perfect bannister for sliding down. Emma may or may not have suffered a minor concussion when she had attempted to perform the act standing in socked feet drunk the previous weekend. She had found an extensive liqueur cabinet in the formal living room and sampling most of them in one night proved to be a mistake. 

She had left the master bedroom unoccupied. It seemed a little too strange to sleep in the bed where Henry Mills once slept. And with five other bedrooms to choose from, Emma didn’t feel like she was settling when she moved her suitcases into the walk-in closet off the large room facing the property’s sloping garden. Of course her chickens and ducks had moved too and were making great headway in destroying a corner of the immaculate lawn. Emma didn’t feel bad; they made the place feel like home and she loved to look out of her window in the morning and see their huts in the distance.

Once out of the shower, she padded through to her closet and surveyed her clothes. She was still getting used to being able to see all her outfits at once, although she had decided she needed to go shoe shopping as the rack at the end looked pitifully empty. One pair of heels, two sets of flip flops and a tatty set of trainers hardly warranted such a display. Her boot collection had survived the move and was now cluttering up the back porch, making the exquisite manor house feel wonderfully homely at once. Tugging on a pair of jeans shorts and an old t-shirt, Emma headed downstairs and out into the garden.

It had only been two weeks since the move but already the birds appeared perfectly settled and began their usual fracas as she appeared with their feed. Spreading the seeds on the ground, she filled up their water before opening the rear gate and heading out across the field beyond. Henry Mills’ manor was a little way from town but a footpath cut through the pasture which bordered the property so every Saturday she wandered down to collect her paper and meet Ruby for a coffee.

The blonde’s relocation had surprised the redhead. Emma had insisted when she first inherited the property that she wouldn’t move but that had soon changed. Ruby didn’t quite understand why. Sure, the house was huge and gorgeous and had a phenomenal view of the lake. But it was further from town and frankly a little too big. Emma rattled around in there every evening, wandering from room to room, trying to spread her few possessions out amongst Henry’s things to make it feel like her own home. Aside from the boots, it wasn’t really working. Emma had never managed to give her a satisfying reason as to why she had moved and Ruby had already given up asking.

“What’s wrong?” Ruby asked as soon as Emma sat down in the cafe.

“Who said anything’s wrong?” the blonde frowned, waving over a waitress and ordering a coffee.

“Your face says something is wrong,” Ruby replied. “I told you not to move out there. You’re all lonely and mopey now.”

“It’s not the house,” Emma sighed. “I told you, I like that it’s quiet.”

“Then what is it?” Ruby asked, folding her arms and levelling her friend with a stare that said ‘I won’t let this go’.

“Regina,” Emma admitted at last.

Ruby supposed she should have been expecting it. Emma had confessed everything to her friend one drunken evening at The Rabbit Hole; her trip to Chicago, their date, the kiss, her feelings. But that had been over a month ago and Emma hadn’t mentioned the mysterious woman since. Ruby had noticed a change however. The blonde hadn’t spent as much time with her or August, she had focused harder than ever on her photography work, and when Ruby suggested setting Emma up with a new fisherman in town the idea had been dismissed in an instant.

“She still hasn’t called you?”

Emma shook her head and sipped the coffee which had just arrived.

“Why don’t you call her then?” Ruby asked.

“I said I would give her space,” Emma explained. “I said I’d only call when I have the money. And I don’t. Mr Gold says I won’t have it for another four weeks.”

“Call with an update then,” Ruby suggested. “I mean, things are moving now, right? The house has been transferred, you’ve got the deed and everything. There’s no contention with the will so we know you’re going to get everything,” there was a tinge of jealousy in Ruby’s voice, “so just phone her and say you’ll have it by the end of June.”

Emma sighed. “I can’t, Rubes. I told her I’d give her time to work things out in her head. She’s clearly not ready to talk to me, or she’s decided that she doesn’t want anything to happen between us. Whatever it is, I can’t call her.”

“So you’re just going to mope around for the next four weeks?” Ruby asked. “Awesome, I can’t wait!”

Emma frowned at her friend who had turned away and was looking out over the busy cafe, nodding to a couple of friendly townsfolk as she did so.

“Ruby, I’m sorry,” Emma said. “I know I’ve been a crap friend recently. I’m just …”

“Distracted?” Ruby supplied. “Obsessed? Stinking rich and not wanting to be friends with a lowly bar tender like me any more?”

“What? No!” Emma exclaimed. “Ruby you’re my best friend.”

“Doesn’t feel like it,” Ruby replied. “I see you once a week for a coffee. You’ve been to the bar twice this month. You’ve invited me up for movie nights at your fancy new house five times and cancelled four of them. What’s going on, Emma? What’s wrong?”

Emma buried her head in her hands. Ruby was right. She had been a crap friend recently. It wasn’t conscious. She hadn’t even noticed until the redhead pointed out everything which had happened over the past six weeks. But ever since her trip to Chicago, Emma’s mind had most definitely been elsewhere. On Regina, in fact. She just hadn’t realised how much she’d been neglecting her friends in Storybrooke.

“I’m so sorry,” Emma whispered, raising her sparkling eyes to meet Ruby’s. “I’m so, so sorry.”

Ruby sighed and leaned over to pat Emma’s arm. She hadn’t meant to speak so harshly. She hadn’t meant to upset her friend. In fact, Emma’s reaction was far more telling about the situation than Ruby had anticipated.

“You’ve got it bad, babe,” she said kindly.

Emma gave a watery chuckle and nodded her agreement. “I can’t stop thinking about her, Rubes,” she confessed. “Every day. Every moment of every day. She’s all I think about, she’s all I want to think about. I just … I miss her, Ruby. And I know that’s crazy and you can’t miss someone you’ve only just met and barely spent any time with but I do. She’s changed my life. Meeting Regina has changed my life in the most wonderful way and yet she’s not ready for anything to happen between us and I’m just stuck. Waiting.”

“Call her,” Ruby said softly. “Just call her, Emma. Tell her what you just told me.”

But Emma shook her head and wiped her eyes. Draining the last of her coffee, she pulled some money from her wallet and tucked it beneath the saucer. “I can’t. I have to wait until she comes to me. I have to respect the fact that she’s not ready.”

Ruby leaned back in her chair and watched her friend gather her things. She hadn’t noticed when Emma arrived that her huge photography case was with her.

“You’re shooting today?”

“Fledgeling season is starting,” Emma replied. “I want to spend as much time up at the lake as I can to get the most shots. Plus it distracts me from Regina.”

“Come to the bar tonight,” Ruby suggested. “Let me and August distract you.”

At the mention of her old fuck buddy, Emma’s eyes widened. “You haven’t told August, have you?”

“No, why?”

“I just … I don’t know how he’d take it,” she admitted, sinking back down into the chair with her camera tucked onto her lap. “I mean, I know nothing serious ever happened between us, so it’s more the fact that Regina is …”

“Transgender?”

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “I don’t now how he’d react to that. I don’t know how anyone here might react to that fact if they found out.”

“Well you told me,” Ruby reminded the blonde.

“I tell you everything,” Emma said. “But if I hadn’t have told you, there’s no way you would have guessed if you ever did meet Regina. So maybe we wouldn’t have to tell people. Maybe she can just be Regina, my girlfriend.”

Ruby’s eyebrows rose. “In this future scenario you’re imagining in your head?”

Emma laughed. “Yeah, in my head. You’re right. I’m worrying about nothing. Just, don’t tell him about Regina, ok?”

“Ok,” Ruby said. “But he knows something’s up with you. He’s your mate too, remember? It wasn’t only me who could see something was wrong. So when you come to The Rabbit later, put on a smile, ok?”

Emma forced the corners of her mouth upwards and Ruby shook her head. Leaning over to kiss her friend on the cheek, Emma got to her feet and strolled out of the cafe. The day was already hot and she set off down the road towards the lake, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her jeans. She decided to walk via her old bungalow. She still had a few things there and she hadn’t been able to find a silver bracelet her parents had given her on her 21st birthday. She suspected it was behind her dresser and figured she may as well check on her way to the lake. As she rounded the bend in the road and the bungalow came into view, she stopped dead.

The Mercedes was parked neatly beside the gate, sunlight gleaming off the polished body. Even from so far away, she knew exactly who the car belonged to. She pulled out her cell phone and checked the screen. No missed calls. No messages. She hadn’t tried to contact her. So why was Regina at her bungalow? Before she could take another step forwards, she saw her. 

Walking through the gate and closing it behind her, Regina headed for the car, head bowed. She was looking at something in her hands; her own cell phone, Emma suspected. She looked back at the blank screen in front of her, waiting for it to light up. Nothing. Glancing up the road, she saw Regina leaning on the side of the car, looking out over the lake beyond. Emma watched her for a full minute before she summoned up the courage to resume her walk. She was less than twenty yards away when Regina spotted her.

“Hi.”

“Hello,” Emma said, coming to a stop by the tail light.

“I knocked but you weren’t in,” Regina said. “And I was about to -,” she held up her phone and shrugged.

“I’ve moved,” Emma said simply.

Regina’s eyebrows raised. “To my father’s house?”

Emma nodded.

“So you’ve received the money?”

“Not yet,” Emma replied. “Another four weeks, apparently. I would have called, you know, if I had got the money through.”

“Of course,” Regina nodded, looking away from the blonde and out across the lake once more.

“But you didn’t call.”

Regina turned slowly towards the woman beside her and saw for the first time the pain on Emma’s face. The woman was thinner than the last time they had met. Her hair was pulled into a messy knot at the back of her head and her skin, although tanned by the sun, looked dry and there were dark circles under her eyes.

“I wanted to,” Regina admitted. “I tried to call a hundred times.”

“I didn’t get any of them,” Emma frowned.

“I never pressed the button,” Regina said quietly. “I was too scared.” 

She looked scared, Emma realised. Petrified, actually. Like it was taking all of her effort to stand there and talk to the blonde. Emma didn’t want that. She didn’t want Regina to feel like that around her and a stab of angst shot through her heart at the realisation. Perhaps this was all too much for the brunette. Perhaps Regina would never be ready for this.

“I’m sorry,” Emma said. “I didn’t mean to put pressure on you or anything. We can just forget it, like I said.”

“No,” Regina said at once. “This isn’t your fault, Emma. Don’t feel guilty for anything which has happened so far. I … it’s me. I’m just not used to this.”

“Not used to what?”

Regina broke their eye contact and dropped her gaze to the floor where her toes were kicking a pebble back and forth. Emma waited patiently, knowing Regina needed time to say whatever it was that was on her mind.

“These feelings,” came the whispered reply at last. “My feelings for you, Emma. They’re scary. They’re new and powerful and I don’t fully understand them and I don’t know what it all means. But I do know I missed you these past six weeks. I thought about you every day.”

“I missed you too,” Emma said at once. “I wanted to call you, Regina. God, I wanted to call you so badly. Just to hear your voice or your laugh. But I didn’t; I couldn’t. I knew I had to wait for you.”

“Thank you,” Regina said. “I really appreciate that. I’m just sorry it took me so long.”

“What took you so long?” Emma asked. “What … why are you here, Regina?”

It might have been a blunt question but the past five minutes had offered Emma no answers, just a lot more confusion. She was tired of the confusion. She was tired of not knowing. She needed to know. She had waited long enough.

“I’m ready,” Regina said simply. “I’m ready for there to be an us. At least, if you still want that.”

“I do,” Emma said quickly, stepping forwards at last so she was stood in front of Regina but far enough away so that their bodies weren’t touching. They were close though, she could smell the sweet scent of Regina’s perfume. “I really, really want that, Regina. These last few weeks have been … awful,” she admitted. “In fact Ruby just gave out to me about what a terrible friend I’ve been since I’ve been moping around over you.”

“Moping?” Regina said, cocking her head to one side and smirking.

“Apparently,” Emma shrugged. “Why? Have you been jolly up in Chicago?”

“No,” Regina said. “My mother’s been so worried she got my therapist to come to my house and do an emergency session. I’m not sure it helped, to be honest. I think I just needed time.”

“Time to do what?”

“To accept how I feel about you,” Regina said simply. “It’s new for me, Emma. This attraction, this want for another human. I know I didn’t handle it well and I’m sorry for that but I’m ready now. I’m here.”

Regina reached out and laced her fingers between Emma’s, squeezing softly. The blonde stared down at the contact and then up at the older woman, smiling widely as her whole body fizzed with excitement.

“You can touch me?” Emma asked, wiggling her fingers a little.

“We’ll have to take things slowly, if that’s ok,” Regina replied. “But yes, this is fine. I don’t know why because I can’t even hold my sister’s hand. Her kids, however, can climb all over me. It doesn’t make sense but this phobia seems people-dependent. And you, my dear, appear to be an exception to the rule.”

“Well I’m very glad,” Emma said, smiling widely. “And we’ll go at your pace. Whatever you’re happy with or not happy with, just tell me, ok? Anything you want to say, Regina, please say it.”

Regina nodded her understanding. She was an honest person, always had been. She had been honest with herself about her true identity from a young age and never shied away from questions about being transgender. And she knew open communication was vital in any relationship, particularly one which was going to explore so many new things for her. And Emma, she reminded herself. It wasn’t like the blonde was used to dating a woman with a dick. This was new territory for both of them. But that was why she liked Emma, she had realised. Emma didn’t see a transgender woman. Emma didn’t see a confused, conflicted woman, struggling in a body which wasn’t her own. Emma just saw Regina.

“Do you want to come to the lake with me?” Emma asked after a moment. “I was planning to get some work done and you can join if you like?”

“Won’t I get in the way?” Regina replied. She knew very little about wildlife photography but she suspected it wasn’t a two person job.

“Not if you promise to be quiet and stay still,” Emma said.

“Ok,” Regina smiled. “I’d love to join you.”

They walked hand in hand down the sunny road, glancing at each other every now and then with goofy grins on their faces, neither woman quite able to believe that it had happened. They were together again. They were holding hands. They were …

“Are we dating?” Regina asked as Emma opened the gate which led to the lake.

“I guess so,” Emma replied. “If you want to date me, that is.”

“You know I do,” Regina laughed.

“Well it did take you six weeks to come to that conclusion so you can see why I might be unsure,” Emma teased.

“You’re going to hold that against me for a while, aren’t you?”

Emma shook her head and smiled. “No, I know you needed that time. I get it. Even if it was the worst six weeks of my life.”

“The worst?”

“Well, the time I spent with my leg in a cast when I fell out of a tree and broke my leg a few years ago might have been worse,” Emma mused. “I’ve never had such an itchy knee in my life.”

Regina laughed and Emma’s heart sang with happiness. She hadn’t realised how much she had missed the sound and made a mental note to try and coax it out of Regina as often as possible.

They walked and chatted for a while until Emma steered them off the footpath and led the way through the denser undergrowth which surrounded the lake. Regina followed carefully, realising as she picked her way over grassy tussocks and crouched under fallen trees that perhaps she should have asked Emma if she could borrow some boots. But just when she thought she would have to turn back, Emma stopped. 

“Here,” she said pointing upwards. 

Regina followed Emma’s finger and saw, high in a tree, a wooden platform almost hidden by leaves.

“You built that?”

“August helped,” Emma said.

“Your fuck buddy?” 

Emma turned, eyebrows raised. She wasn’t sure if it was the word ‘fuck’ coming from Regina’s beautiful lips or the distinct hint of jealousy in her tone.

“Ex-fuck buddy,” she corrected. “And yes.”

Regina said nothing and instead allowed Emma to go first as they began to climb up the tree using a narrow wooden ladder leaning against the trunk. Within minutes, they had emerged onto the platform. It was smaller than Emma remembered, not having ever sat up there with two people before but she shuffled over to make room for Regina as she climbed up the last few rungs and hoisted herself onto the wooden planks.

“Wow,” Regina said as she brushed her hair out of her eyes and looked out over the canopy. 

It was as if they were sat on top of the trees, their own position slightly higher than most of the greenery around them, giving the illusion of hovering just above the leafy branches. As she stared out, she spotted birds fluttering between the trees and knew at once why Emma had chosen this location for her photoshoot. It was perfect. She looked beyond the forested area and saw sunlight sparkling on the lake’s surface in the distance. She didn’t think she’d ever been anywhere more beautiful. She turned to Emma who was watching her knowingly.

“This is amazing,” she breathed out.

“I know,” Emma smiled. “It’s why I love my job so much.”

The two women settled with their backs against the large tree trunk, their shoulders a few centimetres apart. Emma pulled out her camera and set about fitting the correct lens. Regina watched as the slender fingers worked so adeptly and soon the biggest camera she had ever seen had been built out of what had looked like an array of parts.

“You get used to it,” Emma said, correctly interpreting the impressed look on Regina’s face. “Now, no talking, no moving, ok?”

“You really know how to treat a girl,” Regina smirked.

Emma laughed and leaned towards the brunette slightly before stopping and pulling back. Blushing, she turned to look out over the canopy and raised her camera to her eye. When a hand landed on her forearm, she jumped.

“It’s ok,” Regina said when Emma had turned to face her. “You can kiss me. If you want to, I mean.”

“I do want to,” Emma said. “I just didn’t know if -,”

The rest of Emma’s sentence was cut off when Regina pressed her own lips firmly to the blonde’s. It took Emma a moment to react but when she registered what was happening, she sighed in delight. Her lips began to move, parting slightly and capturing Regina’s upper lip between her own, sucking the plump flesh into her mouth. Her hands gripped her camera, preventing her from reaching out and cupping Regina’s face which they so desperately yearned to do. The feel of Regina’s teeth grazing her lower lip pulled a whimper from Emma and she kissed a little harder, pressing her lips against Regina’s with renewed passion. Regina pulled back and Emma’s eyes snapped open.

“Sorry,” she said quickly.

“What for?” Regina asked, her eyes dark with lust.

“For pushing you too far,” Emma replied.

Regina rolled her eyes and leaned forwards to place a chaste kiss to Emma’s lips. “You didn’t,” she assured the worried-looking blonde. “That was perfect.”

“Perfect?”

“Perfect,” Regina repeated. “Now, I thought you we were supposed to be being silent and still, no?”

“Well I would be but you’re quite the distraction,” Emma said, turning back to the camera in her hands and holding the view-finder up to her eye once more.

“Distraction, huh?” Regina murmured, her fingers reaching out and trailing patterns across Emma’s tensed bicep.

The blonde turned to look at Regina, one eyebrow raised.

“Sorry,” Regina said, dropping her fingers away from the smooth, toned skin.

“No, you’re not,” Emma laughed.

“No, I’m not,” Regina agreed. 

But she sat back against the tree, her hands curled in her lap to stop herself reaching out again. It was the first time in her life she had wanted to touch another human, Regina realised. Not only was she ok with her own skin being in contact with Emma’s but she also craved to touch the blonde. The feel of Emma’s warm, soft skin beneath her own sent shivers down her spine. In a good way. She’d never felt that before. The shivers usually conveyed panic, alarm, fear. But with Emma, they felt … exciting. Forcing her mind away from thoughts of touching Emma, Regina looked out once more over the beautiful scenery below, sitting quietly behind Emma and watching her work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I literally love these two women together. I know I’m writing this story so it sounds big-headed but it’s the truth. And as my regular readers may know, my writing just sort of happens. I sit at my laptop and my fingers start typing. I rarely have any idea of exactly what’s going to happen before I start. The twists surprise me as much as they surprise you sometimes. It’s organic, I suppose. Which is exactly how I feel this swanqueen relationship is developing. I hope you agree!


	9. Henry Mills' House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: sorry for the delay, I had a bit of writer’s block.

“So, why didn’t you call?” Emma asked as the two of them strolled back towards the town hours later.

They had spent the morning and part of the afternoon hidden away up in Emma’s birdwatching spot, sharing the cheese and tomato sandwiches she had packed that morning and munching on chips. Well, Emma ate the chips. Regina refused after she checked the nutritional information and muttered something about saturated fat. Emma had just rolled her eyes and handed over a shiny red apple, into which the brunette bit enthusiastically. Without thinking, Emma had reached over and wiped a dribble of juice from Regina’s chin, sucking her finger into her mouth. Regina’s eyes had darkened at the sight and the two women had quickly looked away from each other, cheeks flushed.

“I don’t know,” Regina said. “I guess I wanted to be face to face with you when I told you I was ready. I mean, it’s an important conversation; I didn’t think a phone call would do it justice. Sorry for turning up unannounced though.”

“Isn’t that our thing?” Emma joked.

It was true. Of the four times the women had actually met, only one of those had been prearranged. Presumably that would change if they were to begin dating each other, however, and Emma was already looking forward to her return trip to Chicago. She hadn’t been up the Sears Tower since she was a child.

“But did you have plans or anything today? I don’t want to interrupt your life.”

“Oh but you do it so perfectly,” Emma said, squeezing Regina’s hand which was held gently in hers. “And I did make you sit in a tree for hours watching me work, so you didn’t exactly ruin my day. I think I can bail on my evening plans to spend some quality time with you with both feet on the ground.”

“No, don’t cancel your evening,” Regina said. “I can go back to Chicago later today and then you can do … whatever it is you have planned.”

She faltered. Six weeks, she had waited to call the blonde. What if Emma had moved on? What if Emma hadn’t been sat pining over Regina all that time? What if she’d found someone else?

“I don’t have a date,” Emma said, reading Regina’s mind. “I’m supposed to meet Ruby and August at The Rabbit Hole for some drinks. Nothing special. I used to do it all the time.”

“Used to?”

Emma shrugged. “I’ve not felt much like going out these past few weeks,” she admitted, remembering Ruby’s comment about how rarely she had been to the bar since Regina’s radio silence began. “They won’t miss me for one more weekend and I don’t want you to go back to Chicago today. Stay until tomorrow, please.”

“On one condition,” Regina said, waiting for Emma to nod her consent before she continued. “I’d like to go with you to The Rabbit Hole tonight.”

Emma’s eyes widened in surprise. She had not been expecting that at all. And to be honest, she wasn’t quite sure how she felt about it. What would Ruby say when she saw Regina? And how would August react? How would she even explain who Regina was and what they were to each other? Come to that, what were they to each other? Those confusing thoughts had obviously shown on her face as Regina’s step faltered and she suddenly stopped in the road, Emma’s bungalow now in sight.

“You don’t want to introduce me to them?” she asked, the hurt in her voice evident.

“What? No! That’s not it at all!” Emma said quickly, turning to face Regina and grasping both her hands. She was relieved when the brunette didn’t pull away. “Regina, I’d love for them to meet you but I wasn't sure if you were ready for that.”

“I meet people all the time,” Regina said simply. “I work in a store.”

“I know but -,”

“Do they know I’m transgender?” Regina asked bluntly, guessing that to be the reason for the blonde’s hesitation at including her in her evening plans.

“Ruby does.”

“And you’re not sure how August will react?” Emma nodded. “Then don’t tell him,” Regina said with a shrug. “It’s not like you can see I have a spare appendage just by looking at me. You can introduce me as Henry Mills’ daughter, if you like?”

“Spare appendage?” Emma asked, smirking.

Regina chuckled and began to walk again, Emma by her side. 

“I kind of started calling it that,” she admitted. “I like it. I think it sounds … temporary.”

“It is temporary,” Emma assured. “As soon as I have the money in my account, I’m transferring however much you need straight to you.”

“You know that’s not why I’m here now, though,” Regina said quickly. “I mean, yes that’s why I came to your house in the first place but I don’t want you to think for a second that I’m here today because I need that money.”

“I know,” Emma said. “And even if you had called me and said you didn’t want to explore whatever might be between us, I would still be supporting your surgery. It’s what you want and what you need. I’m not doing it because I want to be with you.”

Without conscious thought, the two women had walked past Regina’s parked car and continued down the road. By now they were entering the town, the streets busy with people enjoying the sunny Saturday. Regina’s fingers tensed a little in Emma’s hand but she didn’t pull away and when Emma squeezed her own reassuringly, she relaxed once more. They strolled through the crowds, hand in hand, Emma greeting those she knew with a smile and a nod. There were a few lingering gazes as people registered their clasped hands but nothing which made Regina uncomfortable. She was surprised at how at ease she felt. She had never shown any affection publicly before and had expected to feel a little nervous. But with Emma by her side she simply felt happy.

When they reached an old wooden gate, a rotting public footpath sign leaning heavily against the hedge beside it, Emma paused, realising where they were heading and what it might mean for Regina.

“Are you ok with coming to your father’s house?” she asked. “If not, we can go back to the bungalow and chat. I don’t have much furniture there any more but we can sit in the garden or -,”

“It’s fine,” Regina interrupted. “I’m going to have to go there sooner or later, right? It’s just a house, after all.”

Emma nodded her understanding and the two of them continued their walk through the field, talking casually as they went. When they began the steep climb up the sloping pasture, however, Regina fell silent. She knew the house was about to come into view, the house her father had run away to. He had lived there alone, abandoning his daughters and his wife all because he couldn’t accept who Regina truly was. Her heart beat a little faster in her chest, her cheeks flushed with anger as she remembered the day he left. 

Aged fifteen, she had run down the drive after him, tears streaming down her face as he reached his car, a solitary suitcase thrown haphazardly into the back seat. She had begged him, pleaded with him, sobbed until her eyes were red and sore. But it had made no difference. He had wrenched his hand out of her grasp and climbed into the car, slamming the door shut against her cries. The gravel had flown into the air as he accelerated down the drive, spattering her body as he raced past, desperate to get away from the son, the daughter, who had disappointed him so much. She had collapsed, the dress she was wearing bunched around her, until her mother had come out and scooped her up, cradling her against her body and accompanying her back into the house. She cried until there was nothing left inside her, curled up on her bed, hidden beneath the covers, away from the world. She hadn’t eaten in days. She had barely spoken. When she at last came out of her room and returned to school, she had changed forever.

“It was his loss,” Emma said quietly. “Him leaving you was his biggest mistake, Regina. Look at the incredible person you’ve become. If he couldn’t see that, if he couldn’t accept you for who you truly are, then he didn’t deserve you.”

“But didn’t I deserve a father?” Regina asked, her eyes glittering with tears.

“You deserved better than him, that’s for sure,” Emma replied. “And you had your mother, and Zelena. They accepted you, they allowed you to be who you wanted to be. Him staying wouldn’t have changed anything. I don’t think he would ever have come around to who you were. And that’s not your fault, that’s his. But perhaps him leaving you was secretly a blessing. You didn’t have to hide who you are after that. You could be you with no fear of what he might think or say when he saw you. Once he was gone, you were free.”

Free? Regina didn’t think she had ever been free. Yes, she lived as a woman now but that sense of abandonment, the knowledge that she had disappointed her father, followed her wherever she went. She would never be free of that, not now her father had died without them having a chance to talk, to reconnect, as adults. She wondered whether he would even have met her, had she reached out. She wondered what they might have said to each other, had that meeting happened. I’m sorry? She wasn't sure which of them would be apologising. She knew he had been in the wrong but she also knew he was stubborn and would have never admitted to that. Would she had ended up apologising for not being the son he desired? Probably; she had wanted her father’s approval so badly.

“I missed him,” Regina said after a pause. “I loved my father so much. As a kid I looked up to him. I wanted to be him when I was older; I wanted to take over the family business and be a part of the Mills empire. But as soon as he found out who I really was, he vowed I would never disgrace the family name by working for him. He didn’t want anything to do with me. He wanted me gone from his life if I couldn’t be the perfect son he envisaged me to be.”

They were at the top of the hill by now, the sprawling manor estate visible below them. Nestled in the valley sat the grand house, sweeping lawns surrounding the property. To the east lay a woodland, dark green in the summer sun. Emma could already hear her chickens clucking as they scratched and pecked in their new yard. Regina was simply gazing out at the sight, seeing for the first time the place her father had disappeared to.

“It’s beautiful,” she said softly. “I can see why you moved here.”

“I miss the bungalow,” Emma admitted. “The house is too big, really. But it is beautiful and the gardens are stunning.”

“Are those stables?” Regina asked, pointing to a small cluster of buildings a little way from the house. She thought she could see fences dividing up paddocks beyond. Her father had once promised her a pony but it had never materialised. That had been the year he had found out she identified as transgender.

“Yes,” Emma nodded. “But they’re just full of junk. Your father was a hoarder.”

“I know,” Regina replied. “When we moved it took my mother weeks to chuck out all the things he left behind. He’d taken basically nothing. I mean, he could afford to buy everything ten times over.”

“Oh that he did,” Emma said, remembering the stuffed closets and cupboards she had peeked into in Henry’s room. She hadn’t sorted anything out yet. She didn’t quite know where to begin or what to do. After all, Henry Mills was a relative stranger. It seemed wrong somehow to go through his things. And although Regina was his daughter, Emma was sure as hell not going to be asking the brunette for her help.

“Ready?” Emma asked, realising they had been standing at the top of the hill looking down at the property for five minutes.

Regina nodded and continued down the path, leading the way towards her father’s former home. The walk took longer than Emma ever remembered and she said nothing until they reached the entrance to the manor’s garden. Regina’s fingers rested on the gate’s latch for a moment before she released it. The wood creaked on its hinges as it swung open. Regina stood, staring through the gap for a moment, before she reached for Emma’s hand. Their fingers tangled naturally together and after a second, Regina stepped forwards into the garden. They made their way up the back door of the house and Regina couldn’t stop the smile which spread over her face at the sight which greeted her. Perhaps this was not her father’s house any more; perhaps it was Emma’s.

“Nice boot collection,” she said as Emma fished in her pocket for a key and unlocked the door. The familiar sprawl of rubber was visible through the glass, a muddy pile of mismatched shoes which reminded Regina of the first day she had met the blonde. 

“Thanks,” Emma grinned. “I couldn’t leave them, could I? Even if most of them aren’t mine and don’t fit.”

She pushed the door open and stepped back, allowing Regina to enter first. The house was cool, a welcome relief from the hot sun outside. As soon as she took a breath however, Regina’s head reeled and she stumbled backwards, bumping into Emma and racing outside. She ran twenty yards and then stopped, bent over, hands on her knees. After a few seconds, Emma appeared beside her, crouched down and peering concernedly into her face.

“Regina?”

She took several steadying breathings before she stood up. Emma rose too, her forehead etched with worry.

“It smells like him,” she whispered. “His cologne. I could smell it. The last time I smelt that was the day he left me, the day he left his family.” 

Tears streaked down her face. She thought she was going to be ok. She thought coming to the house was going to be the start of her getting over her abandonment issues. But she hadn’t made it two metres inside before she had fled, the memories flooding back to her and making her heart ache once more. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be here. But … Emma. The woman stood in front of her, sadness and guilt and worry colouring her features. Emma wanted her here. Emma wanted them to spend time together. How were they ever going to do that if she couldn’t even walk into the house? She had to be stronger, for Emma’s sake.

“Let’s go to the bungalow,” Emma said. “Just give me five minutes to pack a bag, ok?”

“No,” Regina said. “No, I’ll be ok. It was just a shock. I … well, I didn’t expect to be reminded of him quite so overwhelmingly as soon as I stepped inside.”

“It’s not going to get easier,” Emma frowned. “I haven’t thrown any of his things away yet. The whole house is basically as he left it.”

“I want to try again,” Regina said firmly. “Please.”

She held out her hand once more and after a slight pause, Emma took it. They walked back up to the house together, the door still open invitingly. Emma could feel Regina’s hand, damp with sweat in her own.

“You don’t have to do this,” she murmured. “Not if you’re not ready.”

“I am ready,” Regina said firmly. “It’s been eleven years.”

Emma nodded and followed Regina over the threshold once more. They stood there in silence for a moment before Regina moved further into the house, glancing around. She could see her father’s decorating taste in the paintings on the walls and the furniture in the rooms. The smell, although faint, felt cloying in her nose and she swallowed thickly.

“Coffee?” Emma suggested, both because she needed a caffeine fix and because she hoped the smell of the drink would mask whatever was making Regina turn a pallid shade of green.

Emma led them through to the kitchen where she steered Regina into a chair and moved quickly to make some grounds. As she had hoped, the kitchen soon smelt of the rich, bitter beans and when she turned around, Regina definitely looked a little better. She sat down opposite the brunette as she waited for the water to boil.

“Are you ok?” Emma asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Regina nodded. “Thank you.”

Emma made the coffee in silence and placed the steaming mug down in front of Regina, taking her seat once more before the brunette spoke again.

“Do you like it here?” she asked, looking around the expansive kitchen.

“Yes,” Emma nodded. “It’s a beautiful house and the garden is stunning. I like being away from the town too, hence I rented that bungalow.”

“And you’re going to stay?”

Emma faltered. Was she going to stay? She hadn’t intended to when she first came to visit the house but she had fallen in love with the property and moved in the very next week. But now? What if Regina couldn’t deal with it? What if Regina didn’t want to come and visit her because of where Emma was living? Did she really want to stay somewhere that made the brunette sick to her stomach?

“I haven’t decided,” she said at last, thinking it was perhaps too early in their relationship to announce she was going to sell a two million dollar property just so Regina would visit.

“You should,” Regina said quietly. “It’s a lovely house.”

“It’s not a home though,” Emma said. “I tried to make it more like me but I had so little furniture from the bungalow and this place is so big. Until I get the money through and am able to go shopping, I feel like I’m living in someone else’s house.”

“Well I’m sure it will be lovely by the time you’ve finished,” Regina said. “You’ll have enough money to decorate ten times over so I’m sure you’ll put your mark on it.”

“And if I do,” Emma said slowly, “will you feel more comfortable here? I mean, would you want to come and stay perhaps?”

Regina looked around. The kitchen smelt of coffee now, no doubt Emma’s plan in offering the drink despite it being late afternoon, and she could see two photographs of birds the blonde had obviously hung on the wall. Everything else, although her father’s taste, wasn’t exactly screaming Henry Mills to her. He had left their family home with nothing more than a holdall, so everything in the house had been bought since he walked out. Was there really so much of her father left here?

“Yes,” Regina said. “I’d like that.”

Emma beamed and leant across the table to squeeze Regina’s hand. 

“Good,” Emma said. “Because I’d really like to spend more time with you but I don’t want you to feel weird here. I don’t want you to be thinking of your father every time you see me.”

“He’ll always be the reason we met,” Regina reminded the blonde. “But he’s not what I’m thinking about right now.”

Emma’s eyebrows rose at the playful glint in Regina’s eyes. She stood slowly and made her way around to Regina’s side of the table and bent down, brushing her lips against the brunette’s in the softest kiss. When her eyes fluttered open, Regina found herself gazing up into Emma’s smiling face, her green orbs filled with warmth and affection. Regina reached up and gently slid her hand around Emma’s neck, cupping the base of her scalp and pulling the blonde back towards her. Emma shivered as she felt Regina’s fingers stroking the nape of her neck as their mouths met again, lips moving sensuously against one another. She braced her hands, one on the back of Regina’s chair and the other on the table, not wanting to touch Regina herself until the brunette gave her express permission. 

When they broke apart the second time, Emma’s heart was hammering in her chest. The kiss had been innocent enough; she hadn’t even brushed her tongue against Regina’s plump lips, but her entire body was tingling in delight. She had never reacted to a kiss quite so strongly before. Judging from Regina’s own darkened pupils, she felt the same.

“You’re good at that,” she whispered as Regina’s hand fell from her neck.

“Really?” Regina asked, cocking her head as if she thought Emma was lying.

“Amazing,” Emma said fervently. “Like, really amazing.”

“You’re the only person I’ve ever kissed,” Regina said, admitting for the first time what Emma had already suspected from previous conversations.

“Then you’ve got natural talent,” Emma said, taking her seat and sipping her cooled coffee. “I can’t imagine how good you’re going to be once you’ve got a little more practice in.”

“We’re going to be practicing?” Regina asked with a wink.

“I hope so,” Emma smiled.

“Will we be practicing in The Rabbit Hole tonight?”

Emma lowered the mug which had been on the way to her mouth at the question. She supposed they were going to have to talk about the upcoming night. After all, Regina was going to be meeting two of the most important people in Emma’s life and it wasn’t like their situation was straightforward to explain. Emma didn’t think she could really explain it to herself.

“If you want to, then yes,” Emma said simply. “I have absolutely no qualms about people knowing we’re together or dating. We just walked through town hand in hand, remember? News travels fast in a small place like Storybrooke. People will already be gossiping about us.”

“It doesn’t bother you that people will know you’re dating a woman?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Emma reminded her. They hadn’t spoken much about Lily but Regina was aware that Emma had dated both genders before. “The town might seem backwards but Lily and I never received any negative comments when we were together. They could see we were happy so what did it matter that we were both women.”

“Yes but I’m not a woman, am I?” Regina said. “Not yet, anyway.”

“And as you said earlier, no one would look at you and think you were a man,” Emma countered. “As far as they’re concerned, you are Henry Mills’ daughter. Which you really are, by the way.”

“Ruby knows the truth.”

“Ruby also knows not to tell people,” Emma replied.

“So you don’t want people to know I’m transgender?” Regina said.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Emma said quickly. “I just assumed you didn’t want people to know. But if you’re happy with them knowing, then I don’t mind at all. It’s you as a person I’m crazy about, Regina, not your gender. I’ll walk into The Rabbit Hole tonight, climb up onto the bar and tell people exactly what’s going on between us if you want. I just thought … I mean, do you really want that?”

Regina shook her head. “No, you’re right. I don’t want people to know. It’s not that I’m ashamed but I just want them to see me for me. Regina. A woman. It’s not like gender is something which usually comes up in conversation anyway. Anyone looking at me will never guess I’m transgender, as you say.”

Emma nodded her agreement. Regina definitely didn’t look in any way male. In fact she was far more effeminate that Emma herself. There was a grace and elegance to the brunette which Emma was sorely lacking. She applied her make-up far more adeptly than Emma did and her skin was flawless. Emma wondered briefly how the hormones had affected the rest of Regina’s body. But before her mind could stray that far, the brunette spoke.

“So are you going to give me the tour of the house?”

Emma wondered whether she was ever going to stop being surprised by Regina. She hoped not. After the torment Regina had evidently gone through entering the property, Emma hadn’t expected to be asked to show Regina around. She hadn’t even begun to work out where the brunette might sleep that night, assuming she slept over, that was.

“You want to see it?”

“Better get it over with,” Regina nodded, standing up.

Emma stood too and moved to kiss Regina lightly. “You’re the strongest woman I know,” she said tenderly.

“I don’t feel strong,” Regina admitted, holding out her hands which were trembling. 

Emma took the shaking fingers in her own and dropped a gentle kiss to each knuckle. Regina shivered at the contact, both from the intimate nature of it and the new sensation of Emma’s lips on her skin.

“You’re inspirational,” Emma whispered. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

Regina nodded and waved her hand towards the door, allowing Emma to lead the way back into the rest of the stately home.

It was beautiful, Regina had to admit. Although the lingering scent of her father stuck to the back of her throat as she walked, the house was quite lovely. And there was one room where she was able to forget entirely who had inhabited the space in the past.

“And this is my room,” Emma said, scooping up a pair of denim shorts from the floor and tossing them into the laundry hamper before she hurried to the bed and straightened the sheets. “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting visitors.”

Regina waved off the apology as she wandered around the room. Already the walls were covered with stunning photographs the blonde had obviously taken herself. The door to the sparse walk-in closet was ajar and Regina smiled slightly as she saw the red leather jacket Emma had worn in Chicago hanging there. Through the large window spilled late afternoon sunlight, bathing the room in a warm, happy glow. She leaned on the windowsill and looked out. At the far end of the garden she could see Emma’s chicken and duck enclosure, the birds meandering around inside.

“I’m going to dig a pond,” the blonde said, walking up to stand beside Regina. “I’ve always wanted my ducks to be able to swim. It’s almost cruel to keep them without water, in fact.”

“That’ll be amazing for them,” Regina said. “And this view is beautiful.”

“It’s why I chose the room,” Emma admitted. “I sleep with the curtains open so I can wake up and see right outside and feel like I’m in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by countryside.”

“You are in the middle of nowhere surrounded by countryside,” Regina pointed out.

Emma laughed. “True. But town is only a fifteen minute walk away. I’m not a complete hermit.”

“What do your friends think of the house?” Regina asked, turning and leaning against the windowsill to look up at Emma who was still gazing outside.

“Ruby thinks it’s obnoxiously large and full of antiques. And August had already been here. He did some carpentry work for your father so he just thinks it’s weird that I’m now eating dinner off a table he made.”

“August knew my father?” Regina said, surprised. And then she remembered that her father had lived in Storybrooke for over a decade. Of course he knew some of the same people as Emma.

“He commissioned a few jobs, nothing more,” Emma said. “They weren’t friends exactly. Your father never came down to town much, and he went to church somewhere else. He wasn’t exactly well known in the Storybrooke community. In fact I’d never seen him before the night we met in The Rabbit Hole.”

“The night he decided to give you everything he owned instead of his family,” Regina said slowly. 

Emma bit her lip. She still felt guilty about the decision Henry Mills had made. The money shouldn’t be hers. She didn’t have any right to that inheritance other than the last will and testament of an elderly, sick man made days before he died.

“Regina, I don’t want this money,” she said simply. “I never wanted to be rich. I mean, I wanted to be comfortable, I supposed. But I was perfectly comfortable in my bungalow. This house, the money, the business; I don’t want any of it. In fact … do you want it? All of it, I mean. Just say the word and I’ll transfer it all to you when I get it and -,”

“Emma, stop,” Regina interrupted. “What are you even saying?”

“The money, the house, the business. Take it. It’s rightly yours anyway.”

Regina shook her head. “My father didn’t want that.”

“Fuck what your father wanted,” Emma said harshly. Regina’s eyes widened in surprise but Emma continued. She needed to say this. She needed Regina to know that she loathed what Henry Mills had done to his family. “Your father wanted you to live in a body which wasn’t your own for the rest of your life. He wanted you to pretend to be a boy when you knew your true identity. He wanted to hide who you are because it didn’t fit his God’s idea of what is right and wrong. Fuck Henry Mills and everything he did to you. I don’t want his money, Regina. I don’t want any of it.”

“And you think I do?” Regina asked, walking away from the window and pacing to the other side of the room. “You think I want to use my father’s money for this surgery?” Regina’s voice rose as she spoke. “I hate my father for what he did to me, to my family. I hate that my only chance to be who I am is to come to you, begging for money. I hate that in the future every time I think of this surgery, of who I used to be, I’m going to think of him. He didn’t accept me, Emma. He didn’t want me to be me. I don’t want to use his money for the surgery but I have no other choice. I’ve come to terms with that but I sure as hell don’t want any more of it in my bank account. Keep it. Spend it however you want. But don’t offer it to me ever again.”

Regina left the room, walking down the hallway as tears traced their way down her cheeks. Emma remained frozen where she was, her heart aching for the pain of the woman who had just walked away from her leaving a heavy silence behind.


	10. The Rabbit Hole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: hey guys! Hope you like this chapter and the way our ladies are growing closer. Sorry for the delay. I meant to publish yesterday but ended up going out and getting drunk to celebrate my new job as a freelance writer!!!

It didn’t take Emma long to find Regina. She waited ten minutes to give the brunette some time to compose herself before she went on her search. She doubted the brunette would remain in the house; clearly the place was bringing back memories of her father even if she had never visited him there. So she headed straight for the garden. Her chickens and ducks were quiet which meant Regina wasn’t nearby. They always made a fuss when there were people present. They were better than guard dogs, she was sure. Hands stuffed in her pockets, she wandered the other way, down towards the stables she had briefly pointed out to Regina from the top of the hill. She hadn’t been down to them since the first day she visited the house, when she had discovered Henry had filled the loose boxes to the rafters with what looked like mounds of crap.

Regina turned around when she heard Emma’s footsteps crunching on the gravel yard. She had been leaning on a half-open stable door, looking at the cluttered contents beyond.

“Hey,” she said with a soft smile when Emma stopped a little way off.

“Are you ok?” Emma asked.

Regina nodded and pushed herself off the door, walking over to where Emma stood before continuing. “I’m sorry I shouted at you. I didn’t mean it.”

“It’s fine,” Emma assured. “I’m sorry I said what I did. I should have known you wouldn’t have wanted his money. I mean, if I feel as bad about what happened as I do, I can’t imagine what you’re feeling.”

Regina shrugged. “I don’t care, most of the time. It hurt so much when he first left. For years afterwards I wished he would come back, would finally accept me. But as I got older I realised that was never going to happen and I got over it. You’re right; it’s his loss. I’ll never forgive him for what he did and I’ll always hate him for leaving us. But you don’t need to feel bad about offering me the money; it was a really sweet thing to do. And as for you having the money, don’t feel guilty about spending it or enjoying it either. It’s yours to do with as you wish, not his.”

“I’ll never be able to forget who gave it to me though,” Emma said. “I’m not so sure I want a constant reminder of him any more.”

Regina knew that feeling. Her childhood home had been sold not long after her father left and the move to their smaller house in the city had been a big help in processing what had happened. His possessions were no longer there to remind her every day of his absence, there were no places or rooms or objects which conjured up memories. It was a fresh start. But the money; everything purchased with it would be a tangible link to Henry Mills, including her surgery.

“Do you want to come back inside and we can start cooking dinner?” Emma asked. “I usually head down to The Rabbit Hole at about nine, so we have some time if you would rather keep talking.”

“No, I’m done talking about my father for the day,” Regina said. “But I do need to collect my car.”

The women hadn’t mentioned the fact that they’d walked right past the Mercedes parked in front of Emma’s former home. Regina had packed a small overnight bag, just in case, and was now realising that she was going to have to trek across town to retrieve it.

“We can drive over,” Emma said. “It’ll take ages to walk all the way there and I’m getting hungry.”

Regina raised her eyebrows as she glanced towards the old yellow VW Beetle she had seen parked under a leafy sycamore tree.

“And it’ll be faster in that thing?”

Emma beamed, not because of the dig at her beloved bug but at the fact that Regina was back. She hadn’t meant to upset the brunette, of course, ands was immensely relieved to discover that she hadn’t ruined their evening. Regina’s sass had returned.

The drive indeed was faster than a walk would have been, despite it taking three attempts of Emma turning the key for the engine to start. Once at the bungalow, Regina climbed out and they drove back to the manor house in convoy. Parking up, the women were soon side by side in the kitchen, peeling potatoes which would accompany the fish and green vegetables Emma had already got out of the fridge.

* * *

Two hours later and Emma looked up when there was a knock on her bedroom door, smiling widely as she saw Regina standing in the entranceway looking a little shy. She beckoned her inside and put her iPad down. The brunette had chosen to sleep in the room besides Emma’s and, judging by the towel turban she was sporting, had just emerged from a shower. As Regina sat down beside Emma on the bed, the blonde caught a whiff of vanilla. She swallowed, trying hard not to think of Regina moisturising.

“I didn’t really bring anything to wear,” Regina said. “I mean, I brought clothes. But nothing to go out to a bar in.”

“I’m just wearing jeans and a blouse,” Emma offered.

“I have a dress,” Regina said. “But I think it might be too fancy.”

Emma said nothing about the fact that the brunette brought what sounded very much like a date-dress and instead suggested Regina it try so Emma could give her opinion as to the suitability of the outfit. Regina nodded her agreement to that idea and climbed off the bed. Emma sat against the headboard, scrolling through her Facebook feed once more until a second knock on her open door drew her attention. She gasped.

Regina looked almost embarrassed as she stood in the doorway in a royal blue dress, the material clinging to every curve of her body. The non-symmetrical neckline, long sleeves and the almost knee-length cut of the dress gave it class but at the same time it was incredibly sexy. Emma couldn’t stop her eyes glancing to Regina’s crotch but she saw nothing. Not a bump, not any hint as to what lay beneath the material.

“Well?” Regina asked when Emma failed to speak.

“You’re gorgeous,” Emma breathed out.

Regina blushed and plucked self-consciously at the hem. “I’m not.”

Emma climbed off the bed at once and walked over to the brunette, taking the fidgeting fingers in her own. She waited until Regina met her gaze before she spoke.

“You are utterly breathtaking, Regina,” Emma said. “This dress is incredible and you look beautiful in it. I can’t wait to show you off to everyone tonight in The Rabbit Hole.”

“It’s not too much?”

“It’s perfect,” Emma insisted.

Regina nodded, accepting the compliment and then leaned up to place a soft kiss against Emma’s lips. Their fingers squeezed together as their mouths met, a gentle, delicate caress of a kiss. Emma’s eyes remained closed long after Regina pulled away. She was fairly sure she would never get over how amazing it felt to kiss the brunette standing before her.

“I’d better get changed,” Emma said eventually. “Not that I’ll be holding a candle to you tonight but I can’t show you up by going like this, can I?” Emma spread her arms, indicating the tank top and shorts she was still sporting.

* * *

Although a matter of opinion, it was probably true to say Regina outshone Emma when they entered The Rabbit Hole later that evening. Those who turned to greet Emma faltered slightly in their waves and words as their eyes drank in the raven-haired beauty standing just behind her. Emma didn’t mind. In fact, she was proud. They made they way to Emma’s usual barstool hand in hand and climbed up besides one another. Ruby appeared seconds later, quirking an eyebrow at Emma almost imperceptibly.

“Evening, what can I get you?” Ruby asked with a smile.

“Two white wines and a moment of your time,” Emma said.

Surprised both by Emma’s choice of drink and her formal request, Ruby remained rooted to the spot. Emma just chuckled and continued.

“Ruby, I’d like you to meet Regina, Henry Mill’s daughter. Regina, this is Ruby, my best friend and the bartender here.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Regina said, extending her hand towards the redhead.

Momentarily stunned even further Ruby blinked and then seemed to come back to herself. She shot out her hand to grip Regina’s, shaking it briefly before gushing about how nice it was to finally meet her and how Emma had told her all about her visit to Chicago.

“Yes, unplanned trips appear to be our thing,” Regina said with a sideways look at Emma who grinned dopily back.

“Yeah, Emma didn’t mention your visit this morning,” Ruby said, also looking at her friend. “What happened?”

The last Ruby had heard, the brunette woman who had captured her friend’s attention was still in Chicago, without a whisper of anything in Emma’s direction. She had wanted to be annoyed at the way Regina had treated Emma but the adoring look on the blonde’s face was one she had never seen before and any anger she had been harbouring towards the stranger evaporated on the spot. Her friend was clearly besotted and unequivocally happy.

“Oh, I decided to drive down instead of calling,” Regina said simply. “I think you’ll agree the conversation Emma and I needed to have was better done in person.”

“And I’m taking that conversation went well?” Ruby asked, still trying to get her friend to take her eyes off the woman beside her, at whom she was still staring.

“Indeed,” Regina said. “I’m just sorry it took me so long to come down. Emma mentioned how she’s been a bit down these last few weeks.”

“Hey! I didn’t say that,” Emma protested at last. “Ruby said I was down. I was merely parroting what she said. I thought I was perfectly cheerful.”

Two sets of brown eyes simply looked pointedly at Emma who eventually huffed and conceded that perhaps Ruby might have had a point.

“Well it’s great to see you smiling again,” Ruby said. “And I’ll go and get those white wines for you. Are you sure you don’t want a Kalik, Em?”

Emma shook her head and turned back to Regina who was looking at her curiously.

“Kalik?” Regina frowned. “As in the beer?”

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “I used to drink it all the time. In fact,” she bit her lip, not wanting to bring up Henry again but knowing it was better coming from her than Ruby, “that’s how I met your father.”

“Over beer from the Bahamas?”

Emma nodded and explained how she and Henry had bonded over their love of the beer and reminisced about their holidays abroad. Part way through, Ruby interrupted with two large glasses of chilled white wine. Regina listened patiently as Emma talked, wondering as she did so, how many other times in the future her father was going to crop up in conversation. She supposed it was inevitable: he was ultimately how they met, after all.

“But you’re not drinking it tonight?” Regina asked when Emma had finished.

“No,” Emma said, shaking her head. “I’ve not drunk it for a while, actually.”

Neither of them wanted to explore why that might be but Regina wasn’t quite ready to move on fro the topic of Henry Mills.

“Where did you meet?” she asked.

“He was sat there,” Emma said, pointing to the seat behind her. “This is where I always sit. I didn’t even notice him when I walked in and it wasn’t until he jumped in and started defending Kalik that we got talking.”

Regina’s eyes lingered on the empty barstool Emma had indicated until she felt Emma’s hand resting gently on her knee. She jumped, the warm skin unfamiliar against her own. Emma pulled back at once.

“Sorry,” they said in unison.

There was a pause, and then they both laughed, reaching for their wines and talking a sip.

“Shall we move to a booth?” Emma suggested. Around the walls of the bar were small, intimate booths, shrouded in darkness and the perfect place for couples to disappear into for the night.

“Why? You just said usually sit up here,” Regina said.

“Yeah but I want us to be able to chat without people coming up to us all the time. The booth will be better, honestly.”

“No one but Ruby had come up to us since we sat down and it’s her job to do that. Maybe you’re not as popular as you think, Miss Swan,” Regina quipped.

Emma had opened her mouth to answer when a hand landed heavily on her shoulder. She turned and looked up into a familiar face.

“Seb,” she said, wriggling out from beneath his touch. “How are you?”

“I’m doing good,” Seb said, dragging over Henry Mills’ former stool and sitting down. “It’s good to see you.”

He ignored Regina, choosing to sit facing Emma directly and swigging from a beer bottle dangling between his fingers. Emma narrowed her eyes slightly at his blatant rudeness.

“You too but I’m afraid I’m a little busy right now,” Emma said, just as Regina’s fingers ghosted over her own thigh. Her breath hitched as she turned to the brunette and saw a soft, shy smile on her lips. “Seb, you remember Regina, right?”

With evident reluctance, Seb finally acknowledged the woman sat beside Emma. “Yeah, hi.”

“It’s lovely to see you again,” Regina said, with a charming smile. “I do apologise but I’m afraid I’m going to have to steal Emma away from you now. Important girlfriend stuff. I’m sure you remember what that was like.”

The tips of Seb’s ears went pink and he look a long drag from his bottle.

“Whatever,” he shrugged, sliding from the bar stool. “See you later, Emma.”

“Don’t count on it,” Emma mumbled under her breath as the man retreated. “Thanks,” she added, turning back to Regina.

“You’re welcome,” Regina said, suddenly aware that her hand was still resting on Emma’s denim-clad thigh. She could feel the heat of the blonde’s skin radiating even through the thick material. She pulled away. “Um, shall we find that booth?”

The seating around the edge of the bar afforded them a little more privacy and, Emma had hoped, would deter people from coming up to them. But not everyone got the hint and their conversations were interrupted by two fisherman whom Emma was friendly with and Ruby’s boyfriend Billy within the next hour. Regina didn’t seem to mind and smiled politely at each of them as Emma tried to make it clear the two of them really didn’t want company.

“You know there’s one surefire way to make sure they know we’re busy,” Regina said, a glint in her eye.

Emma choked slightly on her wine she had been sipping and wiped her lips on a napkin before she spoke.

“You know, for someone who’s not dated much, you’re one hell of a flirt.”

“Is that a compliment?” Regina asked, draining her glass and waving at Ruby who was passing their table and ordering another two drinks.

“Most definitely,” Emma said, nodding enthusiastically.

Regina chuckled and leaned towards Emma, kissing her quickly before backing away. They sat side by side in the booth, looking out over the dance floor which was steadily filling, both women trying to calm their racing hearts. Emma could feel Regina’s body practically vibrating next to her, her bare arm brushing against the soft material of Regina’s dress. She jumped when the backs of Regina’s fingers began to rub against her thigh, delicate, deliberate movements.

“Here you go,” Ruby announced, appearing in front of them and making Regina squeak in surprise. Her hand retracted at once and Emma silently cursed her best friend’s timing. Ruby, oblivious to what she had interrupted, leaned on the edge of the table and shouted over the music. “Billy’s mate Tyler was asking about you, apparently. Wants to know if you’re free for dinner next week.”

“Tell him to fuck off,” Emma shouted back, making Regina laugh.

Ruby nodded her understanding and grinned at the two women. As soon as she’d disappeared, Emma turned to Regina. Their eye met and even through the dark bar they could both see the deep emotions swirling within. It was Emma who closed the gap and captured Regina’s lips tenderly between her own. Regina tilted her head back, enjoying the feel of Emma controlling their kiss from above. Without conscious thought, her hand landed once more on Emma’s thigh, fingers digging lightly into the flesh as a way to ground herself. The kiss was making her light-headed and she had the strangest feeling that if she didn’t grip onto Emma she might simply float away. When Emma’s hands landed on her waist, her lips froze.

“Are you ok?” came the question, mumbled into her mouth.

“Yes,” Regina breathed back as she took in the sensation of Emma’s hands resting just above her hips.

After a moment, Regina kissed Emma again. Harder, more desperate. She opened her mouth, allowing Emma’s lip to slide inside and, for the first time, grazed the tip of her tongue over the smooth, soft flesh. Emma whimpered. Regina’s body was thrumming with desire. She had never felt like this before, not with another person. There was a stirring between her legs and her eyes snapped open, her heart suddenly in her mouth. She pulled away.

“Regina?” Emma frowned after a second’s confusion. “Are you -?”

“I’m fine,” Regina insisted, brushing some hair away from her flushed face. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Emma asked. “If that was too much, I’m really sorry. I thought you were ok with -.”

“Ruby told me I might find you over here.”

Emma snapped her head around and looked up into the familiar face in front of their table. She had been waiting for this particular moment all night, she just hadn’t expected it to come straight after a dizzyingly good kiss from Regina.

“August, hey,” Emma said, patting the bench beside her so the man sat down. “How have you been?”

“Good,” he smiled. “We missed you in here though. It’s good to have you back.”

“It’s good to be back,” Emma said. “August, this is Regina. She’s Henry Mills’ daughter, the one I was telling you about. Regina, this is the owner of The Rabbit Hole, August.”

“Hi,” August said, holding out his hand for Regina to shake. She did so but only quickly. Physical contact with men was harder for some reason and she dropped her hand quickly. Both August and Emma stared for a moment where it landed; on Emma’s thigh.

“Busy tonight,” Emma said after a moment, looking away from Regina’s touch and glancing out over the bar.

“Yeah, we’re doing well,” August nodded. “Tourist season is definitely picking up. Did you see many people down at the lake today?”

“A few,” Emma nodded. “But we were mostly up in my hide.”

“We? You made her climb up into a tree with you?” August laughed. “Regina, I take my hat off to you for that. She can’t even get Ruby to sit with her when she’s photographing.”

Regina smiled. “I didn’t mind,” she said. “It’s beautiful up there.”

“Weirdest date ever,” August said, folding his arms. “You really know how to make a girl feel special, don’t you, Swan.”

“That I do,” Emma said, turning and smiling dopily at Regina who returned her gaze.

August cocked his head, regarding the two women for a moment. Emma had never looked at him like that. In fact, he didn’t think he’d ever seen Emma look at anyone like that. Not even Lily. He wasn’t bitter; it wasn’t like he ever thought the two of them would make a proper go of things. What he and Emma had was only ever sex. Nothing more. But the blonde deserved some true happiness in her life and it looked like she’d found it.

“I’ve got to get back,” August said, standing up and breaking the shared moment. “But the next drink is on the house, as a congratulations.”

“Congratulations for what?” Emma asked.

August shrugged. “Just for the two of you.”

He waved and disappeared into the crowd. Emma frowned at Regina.

“Congratulations for what?” she repeated.

Regina shook her head, not quite sure what Emma’s former lover had meant either. She also didn’t like to think of August that way, she realised. Although there was evidently nothing more between them, she still felt a little uncomfortable when speaking to the man, regardless of how nice he was. He had seen Emma naked, after all. And he’d had sex with her. Both of which were things Regina couldn’t attest to. Her crotch twitched again and she jumped up just as Emma was about to open her mouth.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Regina replied. “I just need to go to the bathroom.”

She bent down and kissed Emma’s cheek before sliding out of the booth and walking quickly to the ladies and disappearing. Emma slouched back on the bench and took another sip of her wine as she watched the crowded dance floor, wondering if she would be able to persuade Regina onto it at some point in the future. The thought of Regina’s body pressed tightly against her own made Emma’s mind short-circuit until yet another person stepped up to their table.

“I was hoping I would run into you again,” said the man, holding out a Kalik beer for her with a wink.

* * *

Regina always sat down to pee. She didn’t need to but she wanted to, especially in a public restroom. The noise of her urinating into the bowl from standing always sounded catastrophically loud and she was convinced people would guess she was transgender. Plus sitting down was more comfortable. Once she was done and neatly tucked back into her underwear and dress, she emerged into the bathroom. There were a couple of other patrons in there as she made her way to the sink. When she looked up from washing her hands, she saw a familiar face in the mirror reflection behind her.

“Hey,” she said, turning and smiling at Ruby who had just come out of a cubicle. “How’s your night.”

“Busy,” Ruby replied. “But I’m on a ten minute break now. How about you? Are you having a good time with Emma?”

“Great,” Regina nodded. “Ruby, I’m glad I ran into you actually.”

“Oh yeah?” Ruby asked, unclasping her hair and shaking her long locks down her back before beginning to gather them up again. “Why’s that?”

“I just wanted to apologise to you, about Emma.”

“What do you mean?” the redhead asked.

“I’m sorry for not calling,” Regina continued. “I know she’s not been herself these last six weeks and I know that’s because I didn’t contact her. I never meant to hurt her but I really needed that time to get some things straight in my head. If I had known how sad it was making her, I would have called.”

Ruby finished her hair and turned to Regina, leaning against the sink.

“Look, Emma’s my best friend,” Ruby said simply. “She’s an amazing person and she deserves the world. And clearly she’s head over heels for you.” She waved her hand towards the brunette who blushed. “ You don’t need to apologise for not calling. I know you guys both have a lot of things to work through. I guess you know that Emma told me about -.” Her eyes drifted down to Regina’s crotch.

“Yes,” Regina said, a little louder than necessary and Regina eyes snapped back up to her face. “Emma mentioned that you knew. I’m glad she had someone she could talk to. I know it’s not easy for her either.”

“It’s not,” Ruby agreed. “But she wants to make it work.”

“I want it to work too,” Regina said at once. “I really do Ruby.”

“Good,” Ruby said simply. “Because if you hurt her -,”

“You’ll kill me?” Regina interrupted.

“Yup,” Ruby laughed.

Regina grinned. She liked the redhead, despite the death threat. She was pleased Emma had such an accepting, supportive best friend. She was no fool; she knew that this budding relationship was going to be just as hard on Emma as it was on herself. She had had over a decade to come to terms with being transgender. Emma had known barely two months. It was a lot to take in. It was a lot to accept. And it was something they were going to have to take into consideration every step of the way.

* * *

“So Ruby’s going to kill me if - Oh, hello,” Regina said, taking in for the first time the man sat next to Emma in their booth.

“Hey,” Emma said, reaching for Regina and practically tugging her down onto the bench beside her. “Regina, this is Killian. Killian, meet Regina.”

The blue eyes of the man besides Emma widened, his jaw dropped, and his brow furrowed. Emma rather enjoyed that effect and kept Regina’s hand firmly clasped in her own.

“Hi,” Regina said. “Are you a friend of Emma’s from Storybrooke?”

“Um, no,” Killian said after a moment. “My parents live here. I’m just visiting.”

“Yes, I was just saying that he’s such a good son. He was here in March as well. And it’s a long way to fly from the UK,” Emma smiled.

“Wow, the UK,” Regina echoed. “Whereabouts?”

“Bournemouth,” Killian said. “I, um, I have a fishing business there.”  
 “How lovely,” Regina said, scooting a little closer to Emma as she registered the look of disappointment in Killian’s eyes.

There was an awkward silence. Killian didn’t seem to know what to say and neither women wanted to encourage the conversation.

“So it was great to see you again but I’m afraid we’d better continue on with our date,” Emma said.

“Yeah, of course,” Killian said, stumbling to his feet. “Nice to see you, Emma. And to meet you too, Regina.”

The two women nodded their thanks and watched the man walk despondently away. When he had disappeared into the crowd, Regina turned to Emma with raised eyebrows.

“Ok, is there anyone in this bar you haven’t slept with?”

Emma laughed. “Billy,” she said. “He’s Ruby’s boyfriend, remember? And the shorter of the two fishermen from earlier.”

“But everyone else …” She trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence.

“I never slept with Killian,” Emma defended. “And I have been living here for years.”

“You like sex,” Regina said simply. “It’s not a problem. I don’t mind.”

“Yes you do,” Emma said, turning in her seat so she was facing Regina fully. “But you shouldn’t. Just because I’ve had sex with them doesn’t mean I’m expecting you to jump into bed with me. Whenever you’re ready, ok? Please don’t feel any pressure.”

“It’s … it’s not that,” Regina admitted at last. “I mean, I’m not worried about feeling pressured by you. I know you would never do anything to make me uncomfortable.”

“Then what is it?” Emma frowned.

“I … Earlier,” Regina said, “when we were kissing. I felt … something.”

“Something?” Emma asked.

Regina quirked her lips to the side and then pointedly looked down into her lap.

“Oh that kind of something,” Emma said, realisation dawning on her. “Ok, well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it? I mean, awkward, I guess. But good.”

“I suppose so,” Regina replied. “But I’ve never felt _that_ before. Not with another person.”

“Arousal?” Emma asked.

Regina blushed. She was going to have to get used to Emma talking so frankly about sex. She could do the biological side of it; penises, vaginas, testicles. But the desire, the wanton sexual desire she had felt raging through her veins. That she was going to have to get used to.

“It shocked me, I suppose,” Regina admitted. “Realising that my body wanted you in that way.”

“Just your body?” Emma said.

Regina shrugged again. “I don’t know. I like you, Emma. God, I like you so much! But I don’t think my mind is ready for anything more. Even if my body is responding to your touch and the feel of you and what we’re doing together, I’m not sure I’m emotionally ready.”

“I get it,” Emma said at once. “It’s fine. We can wait as long as you need.”

“I do want you,” Regina said, her hands sliding around Emma’s neck as she pulled herself closer. “I do really, really, want you, Emma.”

“Good,” Emma replied, her hands coming to rest once more on Regina’s waist in what had become an accepted physical touch between them. “Because I really, really want you too.”


	11. Talks and Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Did everyone enjoy last night’s episode? I can’t wait to see more of the Evil Queen next week. My first chapter of Missed SwanQueen Moments Season 6 is already up so please go and check it out after this latest instalment of our two favourite ladies.
> 
> Also, please note the change of rating to M. Perhaps this should have been M-rated all along since the subject matter is pretty … advanced. But things become more explicit in this chapter. No sex between our ladies yet. They’re not quite ready. But some more detailed talk and thoughts about sex so I decided it was time. I think you’ll agree it’s necessary.

They decided to walk back to Emma’s new home when the bar began to empty soon after one in the morning. Although they could have taken a taxi, both women wished to prolong their evening just a little bit, reluctant to see the end of such a wonderful night. The air was still warm and the sky sparkled with stars as they strolled over the hill towards the house. As they passed the birds’ enclosure, Emma could here the muted coos of the chickens as they laid and slept. Reaching the back door, she unlocked it and led Regina into the house.

“Nightcap?” Emma asked, flicking on the hallway light.

“Sure,” Regina nodded.

They made their way into one of the smaller living rooms. Emma got the sense that Henry Mills hadn’t used it much, as it was hardly decorated and had been a little musty when she arrived. She hoped, therefore, that Regina wouldn’t be reminded too much of her father as they sat together. With two glasses of whiskey poured, Emma handed one to the brunette and sat down on the couch beside her.

“Did you have fun tonight?” she asked, settling against the cushions and curling a leg underneath her.

“It was great,” Regina smiled. “Thank you very much.”

“You’re welcome,” Emma beamed. “I’m glad you had a good time.”

“I always have a good time when I’m with you,” Regina replied.

“Even when we’re sat up in a tree?”

Regina laughed. “Even then. I enjoyed it; watching you work and taking in that amazing scenery. I could see your passion and your concentration as you sat there. It was … beautiful.”

Emma blushed. She didn’t think anyone had ever complimented her on how she looked when she was working. Her photos, yes. She got compliments on them all the time. And her appearance in general, of course. But no one had ever observed her whilst she worked, had taken the time to notice how completely the blonde gave herself over to her craft. It was if as the camera became an extension of her own body, her hands moulded perfectly to the familiar shape, her eye scanning for that perfect frame. It consumed her, it became her, and she loved it for that.

“What do you like to do?” Emma asked. “In your free time, I mean?”

“I read a lot,” Regina said. “Newspapers, books, articles. Whatever really. I like learning things as well as being transported into a different world.”

“Do you write yourself?”

“I’ve thought about it,” Regina admitted. “I keep a diary and I have been toying for a while with the idea of turning my experiences into some sort of memoir. Not that I’d want to do that until after the surgery though. My story is far from complete just yet. But I thought I might be able to help others in similar positions, help them understand what they’re feeling and why, as well as letting them know that it’s ok to be transgender.”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Emma smiled. “Something to aim for, perhaps, after the surgery.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Regina said, sounding a little distracted.

There was a long silence, Emma trying to work out if she could ask her question without bringing up Henry Mills again and spoiling their evening. She decided she couldn’t, so she stayed quiet. But then seconds later, Regina answered it for her.

“I’m talking to a doctor in Chicago,” Regina said suddenly. “About the surgery, I mean. He’s willing to perform the operation.”

“Oh, ok. That’s good, right?” Emma said cautiously.

“Yeah,” Regina said. “Yeah, it’s good. But scary.”

“I can imagine,” Emma nodded. “I mean, I can’t even begin to imagine but … yeah.”

Regina smiled. “I know what you mean,” she said. “All surgery is scary I suppose but this is … well, it’s optional. It’s my choice and one I have to be sure of. There’s no going back. Making this decision took years and it seemed like an unattainable dream for so long. Now I’m finally here and it’s within my grasp and … I’m just a little nervous, I guess.”

“I’m sure it will all go smoothly,” Emma assured the brunette. “How soon do you want to have it done? I can get you the money by the end of June.”

“I’ve waited for years, I can wait a little longer,” Regina said. “I’m not going to go scheduling anything before the end of summer, I don’t think. I want to enjoy this weather since I won’t be getting out much for a while afterwards.”

“How long is the recovery time?”

“It depends,” Regina replied. “The first two weeks you can’t really move much. Limited walking, no lifting, bending, that sort of thing. I wouldn’t return to work for about six weeks but by two months, I should be completely healed and able to do anything any other person with a vagina would be able to do.”

Emma blushed and sipped her whiskey, feeling the burn of the amber liquid as it slid down her throat.

“Does it bother you?” Regina asked in a voice little more than a whisper.

“What?”

“The fact that I’m going to be undergoing this surgery.”

“No, of course not,” Emma said quickly. “I told you I support your decision.”

“Yes but that was before.”

“Before?”

“Before we were dating,” Regina clarified. “I mean, doesn’t the fact that we’re … whatever we are to each other now, doesn’t that change things?”

Emma placed her glass on the coffee table, turned on the couch and took Regina’s whiskey from her before lacing their fingers together.

“Regina, I like you for you, not what gender you are. I’m not with you now because you have a dick and I’m not going to break up with you when you no longer have one. Is it a little crazy to think that you’ll be changing so significantly? Yes. But I’ve known from very early on that this was going to happen and I’ve supported your decision from the start. And besides, it’s not like we’ve been physically intimate so really I won’t know the difference.”

“And you don’t want that?”

“Don’t want what?”

“To be … intimate,” Regina whispered, her cheeks flushed.

Emma sighed. “Regina, you know I’m crazy about you. You know I’m attracted to you but I’ve already said we can wait until you’re ready. No pressure, I promise.”

“And if I’m not ready until after the surgery, you’d be ok with that?”

“Of course,” Emma assured. “Why? Are you thinking you might want to have sex before that?”

Regina shrugged. “I hadn’t thought about it,” she admitted. “I hadn’t ever really thought much about sex before I met you. I’d never been attracted to anyone, never felt turned on by someone else, so the idea of having sex hadn’t really been one I’ve considered much.”

“And now?”

Regina reached over and cupped Emma’s cheek. The blonde leaned into the touch, loving the feeling of Regina’s warm hand against her skin. She turned her face and let her lips brush over the brunette’s palm, the softest, gentlest kiss. Regina smiled as a little shiver shot down her spine at the sensation.

“Now I’m thinking about it,” she said.

Emma smiled and nodded her understanding. Thinking about it was a far cry from being ready for sex but she was pleased to hear Regina admit her curiosity. It didn’t bother her that the brunette wasn’t willing to jump into bed straight away, even if that was unusual for Emma’s relationships. But she, like any other person, was reassured that Regina did find her physically attractive and wanted to be with her … at some point in the future.

“Do you want to think about it a little more tonight?” Emma asked, quirking an eyebrow up with a glint in her green orbs.

Regina giggled and nodded, leaning forwards and pressing her lips against Emma’s. She moved a little closer to the blonde, her mouth parting a little as Emma’s lips moved against hers. The skin was soft, warm, and slightly damp, the lingering taste of whiskey reaching Regina as Emma’s mouth opened a little wider. The tender swipe of the blonde’s tongue made Regina gasp but the moment Emma retracted it, she felt a sense of loss. She wanted to feel it again. So she allowed her own tongue to glide along Emma’s lip, dipping just inside the warm wetness of the blonde’s mouth where, at last, the two muscles met.

Emma’s hands flew to Regina’s hips, her fingers digging delightfully into the brunette’s flesh as their kiss deepened. Regina’s own hands had threaded themselves through the blonde’s hair. The braid which she had sported was loosening at her touch and she ran her fingers through the long locks, pulling Emma a little closer as her mouth opened wider. They were quite literally making out at that point and Emma could feel arousal pooling between her thighs at the feeling of their tongues dancing around each other. She leaned back slightly and was encouraged to feel Regina go with her. She leaned a little further, and Regina followed once more. Shifting on the couch, Emma slowly lowered herself onto her back, the kiss breaking at last but her hands still on Regina’s hips. The brunette remained sat, her eyes dark with wanton lust.

“What are you doing?” Regina asked, her voice a little hoarse.

“I thought … sorry,” Emma said, sitting up quickly. “It’s too soon. I didn’t mean to push you. We can stay sitting.”

“You wanted me to lie on top of you?”

“Or beside me,” Emma suggested. “The couch is pretty wide.”

“But if I lay on you …,” Regina said, trailing off as she glanced down to her crotch.

“Stupid idea, forget it,” Emma said, with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“No,” Regina said, shaking her head. “It’s not stupid. I’ve just never … I mean, would you mind?”

“Would I mind what?” Emma frowned.

“Feeling me.”

Emma wasn’t sure if it was because she had dated both men and women in the past and therefore had experience with both genders or because she really didn’t care about Regina’s ‘spare appendage’. All she knew was that the idea of kissing Regina, with the brunette pressed down above her, and the hard stiffness of her erection against her thigh, was something Emma very, very much wanted to experience.

Emma smiled softly and kissed Regina gently. “Honey, I would be more than happy to feel you on top of me. I would love to feel you on top of me, in fact. But only if you’re ready, remember?”

“I’ve never touched anyone that much before,” Regina said. “I mean, our bodies would be -.”

“Together, yes,” Emma nodded. “It’s too much. It’s too fast. Don’t -.”

“No,” Regina interrupted. “It’s not too fast. I … I want to try.”

Emma’s eyes widened in surprise but then she smiled, kissed Regina lightly on the lips and lay back down on the couch, wriggling slightly to get comfortable. Regina remained seated, unsure exactly what to do. Emma nodded encouragingly and stretched her arms above her head, leaving them lying on a discarded pillow. After a moment, Regina moved up onto her knees, shuffling towards the blonde with a nervous expression on her face.

“Will I squash you?” she asked as she straddled Emma’s thighs, the material of her dress sliding up and showing the blonde a tantalising glimpse of her smooth, toned upper leg.

“No,” Emma promised.

She watched with baited breath, as Regina lowered herself down. She rested on her elbows, her legs stretching out so they became tangled with Emma’s own, their lips once more millimetres apart. The brunette was still supporting her weight however, hovering just above Emma. Perhaps this was as far as she wanted to go, Emma supposed as she leaned up to kiss Regina softly. And then, suddenly, she felt the full weight of the brunette, pressed deliciously against her own body. Mouth to mouth, breasts to breasts, hips to hips. Regina’s hands wrapped around the base of her neck as the kiss deepened, their tongues meeting easily, eagerly this time. Emma couldn’t help but wrap her arms around Regina and was immensely relieved that the brunette didn’t even flinch at the contact. The kiss continued, their lips and tongues and teeth working together to build the fire burning deep within each of them. When Regina shifted slightly, Emma felt it. The pressure. The familiar, warm, hardness against her leg. Her breath got caught in her throat as she continued to kiss Regina, her own core clenching in unadulterated desire for the woman above her. She knew Regina wasn’t ready. She knew nothing more would happen that night. But that didn't stop Emma from imagining how it would feel for Regina to slide her penis deep inside Emma’s tight, slick core.

The kiss ended and Regina slid off her, tucking herself beside Emma on the couch, her arm over the blonde’s stomach. Emma lay, panting, staring at the ceiling, as she tried to calm her heated body. Eventually, she turned to look at Regina who was watching her, brown eyes wide with anticipation.

“Well?” she asked, timid and unsure.

“You’re fucking incredible,” Emma said, rolling onto her side and kissing her quickly. She looped her own arm over Regina’s waist but kept some distance between their bodies, not wanting to push any further.

“You didn’t mind when I … got aroused?”

Emma shook her head vehemently. “You weren’t the only one who was aroused, Regina. And if you were anyone else I’d probably grab your hand and shove it down my pants to show you just how much I didn’t mind.”

Regina’s face went beet red and she buried her face in the pillow beside her. Emma blinked at her own bluntness. She supposed they had both had rather a lot to drink that night.

“Sorry,” she offered when Regina resurfaced. “But it’s true.”

There was a long pause, Regina’s head cocked to one side as if she was considering her options.

“You know I don’t want you to treat me differently,” Regina said after a while. “If you would have done that with someone else, why not me?”

Emma shrugged, an awkward move given she was lying down. “I don’t know,” she said. “It just seems too … forceful. I mean, what would you have done if I had grabbed your wrist?”

Regina nodded her agreement to that logic and didn't need to answer the rhetorical question verbally. They both knew she probably would have freaked out and she wasn’t sure now she knew what Emma would have done with her hand, that she felt any better about it. But she couldn’t deny the spark of curiosity that had ignited in her mind. What would Emma feel like down there? Was she really … wet?

“We should go up to bed,” Emma said, interrupting Regina’s thoughts. “It’s nearly three.”

“Yeah, we should,” Regina nodded.

The two of them shared one, final lingering kiss before they untangled themselves from each other and stood up. The walk upstairs was quiet and it wasn’t until the reached the two doors, side by side, that Emma spoke.

“This was one of the best dates I’ve ever had,” she said. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” Regina repeated. “And I know I haven’t got anything to really compare it to but it was an amazing date in my eyes too.”

Emma smiled and leaned down to place a chaste kiss to Regina’s lips.

“Goodnight, Regina,” Emma said as she pulled away.

“Night.”

They both stood there, neither wanting to be the first to open their bedroom door, a move which would effectively end the date. But then Emma yawned, Regina giggled and, simultaneously, they retreated into their respective bedrooms.

* * *

 

The rest of the weekend flew by and before Emma knew it, she was kissing Regina goodbye, pressed lightly up against the side of the Mercedes. She waved as the brunette drove away, heading back towards Chicago with no definitive plans to see each other again. Emma had lamented most of the morning about a photography workshop she was signed up for in Pittsburgh which would run for two weeks and then Regina had a friend’s wedding to attend upstate the following weekend. That took them to almost the end of June and neither woman was happy about the prospect of so long apart.

The next three weeks were indeed hard, true. But not as difficult as Emma has suspected. They spoke most days on the phone and were almost constantly texting each other, although Regina had been caught a few too many times at work and Kathryn herself had warned her she needed to be more careful. They would lie in their respective beds late at night however, just talking about their day, their lives, anything. But by the time Emma returned to Storybrooke, her head swimming with aperture and exposure and perspective techniques, she was already almost desperate to see Regina again.

“Next weekend, I promise,” Regina said on the Friday night before her friend’s wedding. “Do you want to come up here or shall I come down to Storybrooke?”

“It’s my turn to drive,” Emma replied. “Can I come on Friday evening though? Otherwise we’ll only have twenty-four hours together.”

“Can’t get enough of me, huh?” Regina chuckled.

“You know I can’t.”

Regina bit her lip at that. She had never felt so wanted, so desired in her entire life. It was a new feeling, and one she was rather enjoying.

“I’m going to have to tell my mother before you arrive, aren’t I?”

“She doesn’t know already?” Emma frowned.

“No,” Regina said. “She may have guessed but I haven’t told her.”

“Any reason you’re keeping it from her?”

“I’m not sure how she’ll take it,” Regina admitted. “I’ve never dated before, remember?”

“Yeah, but she liked me when she met me in April, right? I mean, she approves of me?”

“She likes what you’re offering to do for me, and she liked you as a person, yes,” Regina said. “But that’s rather different to approving of you as someone worthy of dating her daughter.”

“You don’t think I’m worthy?” Emma said, mocking offence.

“Oh darling, you’re more than worthy,” Regina chuckled. “I just hope she feels the same.”

“Me too,” Emma mused. “Me too.”

* * *

 

Regina tried to summon up the courage to tell her mother what was going on between her and Emma all week. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was afraid of or what she thought her mother might say but it wasn’t until Friday evening, after Emma had texted her saying she had left Storybrooke and would be at the Mills’ house by eight that night that she finally began the conversation.

“Ma, can I talk to you?” Regina asked as she entered the kitchen where her mother was standing at the counter preparing their supper.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Um,” Regina said, twisting her fingers together, “can we sit?”

Cora turned around and eyed her daughter. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Regina said, slipping into a chair and waiting for her mother to do the same. “Nothing’s wrong, Ma. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“Then why do you look worried?” Cora asked.

“Ok, I’m worried, but you needn’t be,” Regina amended.

“What are you worried about?”

“Your reaction,” Regina admitted.

“My reaction to what?”

“My news.”

Cora huffed and folded her arms. “Honey, if you have something to say, please say it. I’m your mother and I love you, no matter what, ok? If you have news then just tell me so I can get back to making dinner.”

“What are you making?”

“Regina, stop stalling,” Cora chuckled. “What’s going on?”

“It’s about Emma.”

“Ah.”

The look on Cora’s face made Regina frown. She knew that look. It was a smug, pleased-with-herself, annoyingly self-satisfied look.

“You know, don’t you?”

“Know what?” Cora dead-panned.

“Ma!” Regina exclaimed, jumping up and walking over to the fridge, tugging it open and pulling out a bottle of wine. “How long have you known?”

“Known what, dear?” Cora repeated. “You’ve still not told me what you’re referring to with regards to Emma.”

Regina huffed and sat down, pouring herself and her mother a large glass of the Pinot Grigio she had selected. Only once the lid was screwed back on, did she speak. “We’re dating.”

“I know.”

Regina looked incredulously at her mother before scowling when Cora burst out laughing. She stood but before she could stomp out of the kitchen however, her mother grasped her hand and pulled her back.

“Oh, sweetie, I’m just joking with you. I wasn’t laughing at you and Emma. In fact, I think the two of you seem really great together.”

“You do?” Regina asked. “How could you tell? We weren’t really even dating when you met her.”

Cora shrugged. “I saw the way she looked at you. And the way you looked at her. I’ve heard those giggles coming from your room late at night. I assume it’s she you’re talking to?” Regina nodded. “And what she’s doing for you, paying for the surgery. There are very few people in the world who would do such a selfless good deed. I had a feeling she liked you when she turned up on our doorstep all those weeks ago. And then when you disappeared off down to Storybrooke at the end of May my suspicions were pretty much confirmed. Plus when you came back you were positively glowing.”

“We didn’t have sex,” Regina blurted out.

Cora’s eyebrows raised. Regina blushed and drank some more wine.

“Ok,” Cora said slowly. “Um, did you want to? I mean, do you want to?”

Regina sighed and slouched back in her chair. She was so relieved to have someone else to talk to about everything that she momentarily forgot how personal the conversation was about to get. With her own mother.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I think I do. At some point. But not yet.”

“And Emma -.”

“She respects that,” Regina said quickly. “She’s been amazing about it. She knows I’m not ready and she’s never pushed me once to do anything I’m not comfortable with.”

“Good,” Cora replied. “I’m glad she’s respecting you.”

“She is,” Regina smiled. “She’s amazing, actually.”

Cora beamed. “You’re really happy, aren't you?”

“Yeah,” Regina nodded. “I’m really, really happy, Ma. She’s … yeah, she just makes me happy.”

Cora stood up and walked to hug her daughter. Regina hugged her back, wrapping her arms tightly around her mother as she sighed in relief.

“Oh, one more thing,” Regina said when they broke apart.

“Mmmm?” Cora asked, returning to the counter where she was chopping an onion.

“Emma’s coming for the weekend. She’ll be here in a couple of hours. Can you make some extra food for her?”

* * *

 

Cora turned incredulously to look for at her daughter. Regina gave her a sheepish look but the pure joy in her eyes at the thought of the blonde imminent arrival melted any anger Cora felt at the late notice. If the woman who made her daughter look like that was coming for dinner, then she’d chop all the onions in Illinois.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Awwwww. I just love writing positive Cora and Regina scenes. It’s refreshing and much more enjoyable to read, I think …


	12. I Missed You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m off on holiday tonight so have completely rushed to get this out to you. Sorry if it shows and sorry it’s so short. I’ll be back on Monday and will hopefully have something up soon after that but work has gotten crazy (which is good, of course) so I can’t promise anything.
> 
> But I love you all. And your reviews and outpouring of love for this story astound me!

If confronted, Regina would have vehemently denied that she had been hovering at the living room window for over an hour, peering through the curtains and repeatedly smoothing down her classy grey dress as she waited for Emma’s arrival. As soon as the yellow bug rumbled to a stop outside the house however, she gave a little squeal of delight. Cora, who was watching from her armchair, raised an eyebrow and her daughter blushed when she turned around and saw the amused expression her mother was wearing. 

“Shut up,” Regina scolded with a wide smile.

“I said nothing,” Cora defended. 

Regina narrowed her eyes at her smirking mother and instead hurried into the hallway and opened the front door. Before either of them could say a word, she barrelled into Emma who was standing there, fist raised ready to knock. Regina wrapped her arms tightly around Emma’s body and squeezed. After a moment of shock, Emma did the same, sighing contentedly at the feel of Regina back in her arms. They stayed like that for a long time, not speaking. It was only when Emma opened her eyes and spotted Cora standing in the corridor that she pulled back.

“Um, good evening Mrs Mills,” Emma said with a shy smile. “And hi Regina.”

Regina ignored her mother’s presence and rocked onto her toes to press a kiss onto the surprised lips of the blonde. Emma stood stock still for a moment before she beamed down at Regina and kissed her again. They didn’t break apart until Cora spoke.

“Alright, come on in and continue that before the neighbours start gossiping,” the older Mills chuckled.

“About the fact that we’re both women?” Regina asked as she led Emma into the house, taking in the denim shorts and the tank top the blonde was wearing on account of the warm evening. Her skin was positively glowing. Emma certainly looked much healthier than she had the last time Regina saw her.

“About the fact that you’re making out on the stoop under a spotlight,” Cora replied simply. 

“Oh, yeah,” Regina laughed, glancing at the overhead light before she shut the door once Emma had stepped through it. “How was you drive?”

“Long,” Emma said, stifling a yawn as if to prove a point. “I love that car but I think I’m going to have to upgrade once the money comes through next week.”

“Next week?” Cora asked, beckoning the two women still stood in the hallway through to the kitchen where dinner was bubbling away on the cooker.

“Yeah,” Emma said, depositing her bag at the foot of the stairs before following Regina into the small kitchen and gratefully accepting a glass of red wine. “The paperwork is complete and I have to go down to Mr Gold’s office on Wednesday to sign everything. The money will be transferred that afternoon, apparently.”

Cora nodded but said nothing. She didn’t want her late husband’s money. Like Regina, it was tainted and she knew anything she bought with it would leave a sour taste in her mouth. But it was still odd to think of it going to someone else, a relative stranger no less. She supposed Emma wasn’t going to be a stranger for much longer, judging but the way Regina had greeted her and the way the two of them were now staring at each other as Cora ladled out large servings of pasta. 

“You’re brown,” Regina observed as the plates of food appeared in front of them. Her eyes were still drinking in the beautiful woman before her. Her fingers were itching to reach out and see if Emma’s thigh really was as smooth as it looked.

“Thanks,” Emma grinned. “Spent most of last weekend lying by the lake taking pictures of a phalarope who was not playing ball. Got a great shot of him in the end though.”

“Well despite not knowing what a phalarope is, I wish I had been there instead of at the wedding,” Regina mused. “It was awful.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Cora chimed in as she handed over the parmesan to Emma who heaped into onto her food. The couple whose daughter had married the previous weekend were old family friends and Cora had extended her plus-one invitation to Regina, unwilling to find a date nor endure the event alone. It had been fun too, mother and daughter spending the day together. 

“Ma, the bride and groom were having an argument as soon as they walked out of the church. If they can’t agree on what sort of photographs they want to document what’s supposed to be the best day of their lives then what chance do they have? I give it two months,” Regina announced.

“Sceptic,” Cora tutted. “Perhaps they like bickering.”

“She called him a fucking idiot and stormed off,” Regina reminded her. “Honestly, I don’t understand why people get married. It’s not like any of the couples last.”

“My foster parents have been together since they were eighteen and they’re going strong thirty-two years later,” Emma piped up. “Some marriages work out.”

Regina shrugged and began to eat. Emma did the same and the three of them fell into a contented silence as they enjoyed the food. The conversation was light as they continued to eat and ten minutes later they were all sat in front of clean plates.

“That was delicious, Mrs Mills,” Emma said as she stood and began to gather the dishes.

“Thank you, Emma. And please, call me Cora.”

Emma nodded her understanding and, with Regina’s help, began to load the dishwasher. Once the kitchen was clean, they moved into the living room and resumed their conversation. It was mostly Emma and Cora who were learning things about the other but the three talked easily until long after eleven at which point Cora excused herself for bed, leaving the two women alone for the first time.

“I missed you so much,” Regina said, scooting closer to Emma as soon as Cora disappeared and kissing her cheek.

“I missed you too,” Emma said, turning on the couch and slinging her arm behind Regina’s shoulders. “We should never go three weeks without seeing each other again.”

“Deal,” Regina nodded. “Although in my defence, I was only accountable for one of those weeks. I blame you entirely for the first half of June being completely awful.”

“Awful?”

Regina shrugged. Emma’s arm bounced up and down. “I mean, it wasn’t really awful. Work’s fine and me and Ma are great. I’ll tell you about her reaction to us dating later, by the way. But it was everything else. I don’t know how to explain it. Maybe it’s because I’ve never felt like this before and it’s completely normal but I just felt … empty.”

“Empty?”

“My life,” Regina said. “It felt … dull. Nothing I did was interesting or fun or … I don’t know. I just missed you, ok?”

Emma chuckled at how Regina pouted when she realised her inability to articulate what she was feeling. But it didn’t matter; Emma felt exactly the same. Her three weeks since she had seen the brunette last had been packed full of work, socialising (she was a regular at The Rabbit Hole once again), and settling in to her new house. The manor was slowly feeling more like home and despite her reservations about inheriting Henry Mills’ money, she was looking forward to going on a shopping spree and filling the place with furniture that was more her taste. The dark woods, antique paintings and musty rugs were not her style.

“I missed you too,” Emma repeated.

Regina smiled and cuddled up into the blonde’s side. Emma kissed the top of her head and rested her cheek against the soft brown hair. It felt wonderfully domestic and intimate and the two of them sat like that for a long time, content to just be with each other once more.

“What is the plan this weekend?” Emma asked after a while.

“I was going to ask you that,” Regina said. “What do you want to do?”

“I wanna see The Bean and take stupid selfies by it,” Emma said, grinning goofily. 

Regina laughed too. She had loved going down to the park when she was younger and lying beneath the vast shiny sculpture. She and Zelena spent hours there, making faces in the curved metal surface and watching the sky contort over the top of Cloud Gate. 

“Sounds like an excellent plan,” Regina said. “But that won’t take the whole weekend. Anything else?”

“I wanna go down to the beach too,” Emma said. “But I’m betting that will be packed since the weather this weekend is supposed to be amazing.”

“During the day, yes, but we could always get up early one morning and go before the crowds. It’s beautiful when it’s empty.”

“Romantic stroll on the sand?” Emma mused. “Sounds perfect.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” Emma agreed.

They made their way upstairs shortly afterwards, reluctant to say goodnight but the long week was catching up with both women. Regina had placed a vase of sunflowers on the windowsill in the guest bedroom and she felt her heart swell as Emma walked over and admired them, her fingers stroking the velvety petals. 

“You’re ok being in here tonight?” Regina asked, standing by the freshly made bed.

“Of course,” Emma nodded. “The bed’s super comfy. I slept like a log last time.”

“You were drunk,” Regina reminded her. 

“Still a comfy mattress,” Emma said, walking over and bouncing onto the bed with her knees. 

Regina laughed as she toppled sideways and moved to sit beside the blonde as she rolled onto her back and smiled up at Regina.

“See, comfy,” Emma said, patting the duvet.

“Not as comfy as mine,” Regina said without thinking.

Emma opened her mouth and then closed it again. She didn’t think saying what was on the tip of her tongue would be a good idea. Regina was blushing, realising what she had said. 

“I didn’t mean -,”

“It’s fine,” Emma assured her. “Maybe tomorrow we can sit on your bed and I can feel the superior comfort factor for myself.”

Regina nodded. “Sounds good.”

Emma stretched out her arms and yawned before she laid one arm across Regina’s lap, her fingers landing on her thigh and stroking softly. Regina considered the gentle weight upon her body and decided she liked it. Perhaps that was why Emma had wanted her to lie on her all those weeks ago in Storybrooke. Perhaps it felt even better when a person’s whole body was pressed against another. She stood abruptly and Emma’s arm flew into the air and retracted back to her side. But before the blonde could apologise, Regina had knelt on the bed herself and swung one leg over Emma’s waist.

“What the -?”

The end of the question was smothered by Regina’s lips covering Emma’s in a sweet kiss. Their breasts pressed together, Regina’s hands cupping Emma’s face, and their pelvises aligned. Emma whimpered into the kiss as Regina rocked her hips slightly. She wrapped her arms around Regina and pulled her a little closer, relieved when Regina not only moved with her but also let out a little moan of delight as her hardening penis pressed against Emma’s stomach. The kiss was still slow, their tongue gently caressing one another and their lips moving tenderly. 

Eventually, Regina pulled back and climbed slowly off Emma, lying down beside her instead. Emma opened her eyes and rolled her head to blink blearily at the woman beside her. 

“Wow,” she murmured.

“Ok?” Regina asked.

“Do you even have to ask?” Emma chuckled. 

“Sorry for jumping you,” Regina said. “I just … I couldn’t resist.”

“I am pretty irresistible,” Emma joked. “And you may jump me any time you wish, my dear.”

Regina laughed and shuffled closer, kissing Emma again with her entire body pressed against the blonde’s side. It wasn’t until Emma’s hand twitched that she realised her penis had been inches away from those long, slender fingers. Her hips jerked back as the kiss ended.

“Um, I should go,” she said, flustered.

“Ok,” Emma said, rolling onto her side so they were face to face. “I’ll see you tomorrow bright and early for our beach walk.”

“We should leave at about six,” Regina said. “And then we can go for breakfast afterwards.”

“Perfect,” Emma smiled. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither,” Regina said.

She kissed Emma once more and then climbed off the bed. At the door, she looked back, smiling at the woman still splayed on the white sheets. 

“I really did miss you, you know,” she whispered.

“I know,” Emma smiled. 

“I’ve never missed anyone like that before,” Regina continued. “It was like something physical was missing from my entire life. I’m used to things feeling out of place or wrong but this was different. It wasn’t me that was the problem, it was the fact that we weren’t together. I kept wishing you were here, or that I was with you. Everything I did felt … incomplete.”

“I felt the same way,” Emma admitted.

“And now?”

Emma paused for a moment before answering. “Now I feel complete.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: if you don’t know what The Bean/Cloud Gate is, google it!


	13. Oestrogen vs Testosterone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey lovelies! Thanks so much for waiting on this. As some of you know from Twitter, I have a new job as a freelance writer which is awesome but it also means that what I did to decompress from work (writing fanfic) is no longer the break it once was. Nevertheless, I’m still committed to this story but the updates are not going to be daily any more. I’m aiming for 2 - 3 per week though. Hope that’s ok with you all.
> 
> In regards to this chapter, google Cloud Gate now if you don’t know what it is otherwise one section won’t make sense. And I’ve done some research into the hormones Male to Female transgender people take because I had a few people write to me about my inaccuracies in earlier chapters. Let’s put that down to Regina not wanting to go into details (aka, I didn’t do my homework! Sorry!). I hope this chapter is more medically accurate and gives everyone an insight into Regina’s life.

When Regina woke the following morning, the feelings warming her heart were incomparable to the way she had awoken the last time Emma had stayed at her house. She remembered how she had felt the day after their first kiss, convinced the blonde would hate her for their drunken blunder. She had even wondered whether Emma would have disappeared in the night. But she knew this time the young woman was safely tucked up down the corridor, sleeping peacefully and waiting for their weekend together to begin. Which, Regina realised as her alarm chimed, it was about to do.

Once dressed, she padded barefoot down the hallway and knocked softly on Emma’s closed door. There was no answer. Tentatively, Regina turned the handle. The room was still dark but the weak light from the rising sun was slipping slowly into the room from between the curtains. Emma was fast asleep, her mouth slightly open and a soft deep breath, rhythmic and calming, whispered through the air. Regina smiled and hesitated. She really didn’t want to wake the beautiful blonde, so peaceful she looked. But her desire to stroll along the cool beach snaps, hand in hand with a wide awake Emma outweighed that and so she bent over, placing a soft kiss to Emma’s cheek.

The blonde stirred, her forehead creasing in confusion as her body was roused from its slumber. She blinked slowly and rolled over, a smile spreading over her lips as Regina’s face came into focus inches from her own.

“Morning,” she husked.

“Good morning,” Regina smiled back. “Do you still want to go to the beach this morning?”

“Sure,” Emma said, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. “Gimme ten?”

Regina nodded and turned to leave the room. Before she had even taken a step, however, Emma’s hand gently encircled her wrist, tugging her back so she sat down heavily on the edge of the mattress.

“Wha-?”

The worlds were lost to the sweet kiss as Emma’s lips pressed tenderly against Regina’s. It was only short but it made Regina’s heart flutter in her chest and when Emma pulled back she ached with the loss of the intimate contact.

“Meet you downstairs?” Emma said, a lazy smile on her lips.

“Yeah,” Regina nodded, standing once more to leave.

Emma bounded down the stairs just as Regina was trying to locate her car keys. She raised an eyebrow at the woman who, minutes before, had been dead to the world but then laughed when Emma nuzzled her face against her neck, blowing a raspberry on her skin.

“Ready?” Regina asked, finally locating her keys at the bottom of her handbag.

Emma nodded and opened the door, standing back so Regina could step through first. The street was deserted, unsurprising given the early hour. The clock blinked 5:54 as Regina started the Mercedes and pulled smoothy away from the sidewalk. They dove in silence, Emma taking in the sights of the city and Regina manoeuvring them easily towards their destination. Once they had found a place to park, they climbed out and headed towards the lake, the vast surface sparking as the sun’s rays bounced across it.

“Wow,” Emma breathed out as they reached the edge of the soft yellow sand.

The promenade which curved around the bay was dotted with early-morning runners but the beach itself was empty. Emma crouched down to untie her sneakers and pulled off her socks, eager to feel the sand between her toes. Regina did the same, the two of them leaving their shoes in a pile beside the wall before setting off.

Regina reached for Emma’s hand after a few steps and their fingers laced together easily. They walked slowly, gazing out over the lake, heading towards the shoreline where waves were breaking gently on the sand. They stopped when they reached the wet, darker grains, watching as the tidal lake rushed towards them, white horses riding the crests before they tumbled with a graceful crash onto the shore, the pull of the great water ripping the foamy spray away from them seconds later.

“This is beautiful,” Emma murmured.

“Yes it is.”

But Regina wasn’t looking at the lake, she was staring at the woman standing beside her. When Emma turned to the brunette and realised where Regina’s gaze was trained, she blushed, smiling softly.

“You’re more beautiful,” Emma countered.

Regina didn’t answer. She just squeezed Emma’s fingers as she stepped away, continuing their walk along the beach.

“So how did your mom react when you told her about us?” Emma asked.

“She was completely unsurprised,” Regina said. “I guess she’s heard me on the phone most nights and knew there was someone but I don’t think it came as a shock when I told her it was you I was talking to. She said she could see the way we looked at each other when you visited in April and then when I went to visit you last month her suspicions were confirmed.”

“And she’s ok with it?”

“Yeah, she seems to be. I mean, Ma’s been amazing in terms of accepting me for me. If she’s been able to support me being transgender, I don’t think me dating a woman would be a problem for her.”

“It’s confusing, isn’t it,” Emma mused. “I mean, I suppose people might think it completely expected that you’d be attracted to a woman, seeing as you were born male and society would assume you therefore to be straight. But you identify as a woman, so does that mean you’re a lesbian?”

“Does it matter?” Regina snapped, pulling her fingers from Emma’s grip.

Emma looked sideways and took in the thin line of Regina’s pursed lips. She hadn’t meant to offend the brunette but clearly she had. Regina walked a little faster and Emma had to hurry to keep up.

“I’m sorry,” Emma offered. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just … thinking out loud, I suppose. I didn’t mean anything by that. But you know, this is all confusing for me too.”

Regina sighed and stopped walking. She glanced around at the sand and, deeming it dry enough, sat down. Seconds later Emma did the same and the two of them gazed out over the lake for a while before Regina finally spoke.

“You didn’t upset me,” she said quietly. “It’s just that I neither want nor need to find a new label for myself now we’re dating. For years I’ve been ‘transgender’,” she drew quotation marks in the air, “but that was only a tiny aspect of who I am. And now I’m dating a woman, yes, but again, that’s not all there is to me as a person. Why come up with another title for myself? Why can’t I just be Regina?”

“You can be,” Emma assured. “And you are. That’s what I see, you know. I don’t see a transgender person or a lesbian or a straight person or whatever you might be. I see Regina and I really, really like what I see.”

“You do?”

“You know I do,” Emma said softly, leaning towards the brunette and capturing her lips in a gentle kiss.

When their lips parted, Regina leaned her head on Emma’s shoulder and the blonde looped her arm around her back. They stayed there, huddled in the cool morning air, for a long time. When they eventually stood up, their butts numb from sitting too long, the beach was already speckled with early tourists, some unfurling picnic blankets and a few heading into the waters for a bracing swim.

“Breakfast?” Regina asked.

“Please,” Emma nodded. She could feel her whole body lagging slightly with the lack of caffeine.

* * *

Three hours later, Emma was standing beneath Cloud Gate, staring up at her own face and grinning widely. She moved slightly, her reflection contorting as it slid over the smooth curve of the metal sculpture. Regina came into view behind her and Emma turned towards her, watching in the bean as the brunette approached and when she was only a foot away, Emma reached blindly out, her reflection doing the same. Regina chuckled and grasped Emma’s waving hands, stepping into the blonde’s body and placing a kiss to Emma’s neck. The blonde shivered.

“Hmmm, you like that?” Regina observed, dark green eyes at last meeting her own.

“Yes,” Emma said through gritted teeth. “So please don’t do it again in public. I may not be able to control myself.”

Regina laughed but nodded her understanding, stepping away and gazing around herself at the magnificent structure. The site was swarming with tourists and locals alike and the two of them watched as some children made faces at each other in the silvery mirror for a while before they wandered back out into the sunshine. Beneath the bean it was cool but already the day was heating up. Emma tugged off her cardigan and scraped her long hair into a messy ponytail before she led Regina over to a grassy patch where they could sit down and look back at the sculpture.

“I think the top is my favourite,” Regina said. “I love the way the clouds move across it.”

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “Imagine how cool it would look if you were standing up there”

They both imagined for a moment that they had scaled the giant silver bean and were now stood on its top, looking down as they watched the reflections of the clouds skimming beneath their feet.

“I guess we’d be stopped before we could get up there,” Emma mused.

“I’m sure,” Regina said, watching as that moment a policeman on a Segway glided past. “And I also highly doubt you’d be able to scale it anyway. No offence,” she added.

“None taken,” Emma laughed. She had never been much of a rock climber and the smooth, glassy surface of the bean didn’t seem like the best place to practice her limited skills.

Regina leaned back on her elbows, legs bent at the knee and watched the busy park before her. Emma was about to copy her position when she spotted a coffee store. She was already craving more of the delicious, hot drink.

“I’m just going to get a coffee,” Emma said, standing up. “Would you like one?”

“No thanks,” Regina said. “I’m on these new hormones and I’m supposed to limit my caffeine intake until my body is accustomed to them.”

“Oh, ok,” Emma said. “Tea? Coke?”

“Just a bottle of water, thanks,” Regina smiled.

Emma nodded and set off across the park. Regina watched her go, eyes trained unabashedly on the denim encased ass which swayed delectably as the blonde strode confidently through the crowd. Eventually she disappeared into the mass of tourists and Regina returned to watching the bean. When Emma returned ten minutes later, she didn’t even notice her approach until the blonde’s shadow fell across her and she sat down, handing over a bottle of water.

“Thanks,” Regina said, a look of longing on her face as she watched Emma sip her coffee.

“No problem,” Emma replied. “Did I miss anything good?”

“Erm a toddler walked into the bean and fell over backwards,” Regina recalled. “He was fine. Oh and some kids were playing hide and seek and one of them got wedged under the curve at the bottom on the inside. His dad was so mad! They’ve just pulled him out though. He’s over there, rubbing his arm and crying.”

Emma followed Regina’s pointed finger to where a kid probably too old to be bawling in the middle of a park was clutching the arm his father had presumably pulled him free by.

“Endless entertainment,” Emma grinned.

“Indeed,” Regina said. “How’s your coffee?”

“Delicious,” Emma said before she noted the forlorn look on Regina’s face. “Oh, sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Regina said with a wave of her hand. “I want you to enjoy it.”

Emma hesitated for a moment before speaking. “Would you mind telling me a little bit about your hormone treatment? I mean, I’ve googled male to female transgender treatments so I know some things but I’d like to understand what you’re taking and how your body has changed as a result.”

“Of course,” Regina nodded. “What do you want to know?”

“Whatever you’re willing to tell me,” Emma said. “Everything, anything, whatever you feel comfortable sharing.”

“You know I don’t have any qualms when it comes to talking about this sort of thing,” Regina reminded the blonde. “Dating and sex might be new to me but gender and biology is something I’ve spent the last decade talking about. I can tell you everything, if you like. I’ll start at the beginning, shall I?”

Emma nodded and settled back on the grass beside Regina, her coffee cup resting beside her. She waited expectantly for the brunette to begin.

“By the time I was fourteen I knew I was in the wrong body and wanted to do something about it,” Regina explained. “I suppose I’d already begun puberty but the changes on my body hadn’t been too drastic so I was able to take testosterone blockers called anti-androgens which stopped most of the other changes. My voice, for example, hadn’t fully dropped and I don’t have hair on my chest, thank goodness!” Emma chuckled. “I then began to take an oestrogen hormone which is what women’s bodies naturally produce to encourage them to feminise. My skin, for example, is softer, and I never grew a beard or had to shave. I also naturally developed breasts. My doctor was actually surprised by how responsive my system was to the oestrogen. Most male to female transgenders don’t achieve more than a B cup.”

“You did,” Emma remarked before she could stop herself.

Regina laughed and nodded, glancing at her chest. “Yes, I did. I like having larger breasts now but when they first began to grow I was still at school with kids who’d always known me as Jacob. It was really hard and I was bullied for months. Eventually they got bored of tormenting me though and just settled for ignoring me. I had a few friends who stuck by me but apart from them, I was a social recluse until I left school.”

“I’m sorry,” Emma offered.

“It’s ok,” Regina said. “I mean, it was awful, but I got over it. I have my friends now and I got good grades. And I don’t blame the kids who bullied me. What were they supposed to think when their mate called Jacob suddenly began to go around calling herself Regina and growing breasts?”

“They’re not supposed to bully you, that’s for sure,” Emma snarled, defensive of this younger Regina instinctively.

“They didn’t understand,” Regina shrugged. “They were confused and scared. I get it, honestly. Anyway, I still take pills every day but after the surgery I should be able to reduce the oestrogen and hopefully stop the anti-androgens.”

“Because you won’t have testicles?” Emma asked.

“Yes,” Regina nodded. “Without them your body produces only a tiny amount of testosterone. It will take time to recalculate my dosage but hopefully I’ll not need to take such strong medication.”

Emma nodded her understanding and reached for Regina’s hand. She laced their fingers together and squeezed gently.

“Thank you for telling me,” she said quietly.

“Of course,” Regina said. “Do you have any questions?”

Emma bit her lip, embarrassed at what popped into her mind. Regina rolled her eyes. There was no need for the blonde to feel embarrassed, not after how open Regina had just been.

“Come on, I don’t mind. Just ask me.”

Emma sat up and turned so she was sat cross-legged beside Regina who was still leaning on her elbows. She glanced around the park to see if anyone was possibly listening to their conversation. They weren’t, of course.

“Um, well, I know you can still … get hard,” Emma whispered. “But can you … come?”

“Yes,” Regina said simply. “Although the anti-androgens lower my sex drive and make getting an erection less common, I can ejaculate.”

“And do you?” Emma asked, her voice still low.

“Rarely,” Regina admitted, sitting up too and plucking at some blades of grass, avoiding Emma’s gaze. “I don’t like to do it.”

“To come?”

“To pleasure myself,” Regina shrugged. “I don’t like touching myself. It feels … I don’t know. I don’t like that it’s a part of me. I don’t like to think of it, let alone touch it. But sometimes the erection won’t go away until I … finish myself off.”

“Oh,” Emma said simply.

Regina looked up at last, her cheeks a little red. Emma reached over and cupped one, her fingers registering how smooth Regina’s skin was now she knew what drugs were keeping it that way. Their eyes locked; bright green gazing into rich brown, speaking without words.

“What are you thinking?” Regina asked after a long silence.

“I’m thinking about how much I want to kiss you right now,” Emma said, her thumb still brushing over Regina’s cheek.

“Really?” Regina asked. “After what I just told you?”

Emma moved a little closer and brought her other hand to Regina’s thigh. “Regina, I know you’re not entirely comfortable with your body and I know you’re going to have surgery to change that. But that doesn’t mean I don't find you incredibly sexy just as you are. I don’t care that you have a penis. And as for the fact that you masturbate, that’s completely normal. Everyone does it.”

“Everyone?”

“Everyone,” Emma nodded. “Especially me.”

She winked and Regina’s cheeks flushed. She looked away, embarrassed once more but Emma’s finger beneath her chin gently tilted her head back up a few seconds later.

“Regina, you are one of the sexiest, most beautiful, and most desirable women I’ve ever laid eyes on,” Emma said gently. “I know you don’t see it yet but you have to believe that I do. Now I’m not saying I want or need anything more intimate with you than what we already have but I do need you to know that your body is incredibly attractive and the thought of you touching yourself is far from repellant.”

“It isn’t?”

“It really, really isn’t,” Emma said, capturing Regina’s lips before the brunette could begin another statement of self-doubt.

The kiss was short, given that they were in the middle of the park and surrounded by families on a Saturday morning. But it was enough. When Emma’s eyes opened once more, she saw Regina’s lips curling into a smile, the woman reassured that Emma still wanted her. What Regina didn’t know was just how much Emma wanted her. Despite the blonde’s assurances that she didn’t need their relationship to progress to the next level, the thought of Regina touching herself had created a flood of wetness between Emma’s legs. She was aroused, undeniably, by the image of the brunette stroking her penis to climax and desperately, desperately wanted to know how it felt; to hold Regina’s stiffened member in her hand, to pump and pump until the woman came with a cry, Emma’s hand sticky with her essence.

“Emma? Are you ok?”

“What?” Emma asked, snapping back to the presence.

“What are you staring at?” Regina frowned, following Emma’s slack-jawed gaze but seeing nothing of interest.

“Oh, nothing,” Emma said, quickly shaking the image of Regina coming from her mind. “Do you want to go and find somewhere to have lunch?”

“Sure,” Regina said, gathering her things together and getting to her feet.

Emma did the same, hoping against hope that Regina hadn’t guessed where her mind had wandered to. She might want those images to become a reality but she knew the brunette wasn’t ready and there was no way she was going to push Regina into anything she wasn’t completely comfortable with.


	14. Lasagne and Cuddles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: look at me go! Two chapters in two days. Yes, I’m amazing! Slash I didn’t have much to do today in terms of work. It’s still not as long as my earlier pieces but I hope you like it all the same. Our ladies are making some real progress now!

When the two women returned home later in the afternoon Cora announced that she was heading out to dinner with a friend. Regina knew her mother hadn’t had those plans the day before and presumed she had called around to see who was free short-notice to allow Regina and Emma to have the house to themselves that evening. She was grateful, she realised. After a whole day out with Emma in the city, Regina was looking forward to it just being the two of them again, hidden away from the curious eyes of the world.

They had spotted a few people looking at the two of them during the day as they walked hand in hand. Emma had assured Regina that it was just because they were two women and people were still a little surprised to see a same-sex couple. Regina, however, couldn’t help but wonder if they knew what she was.

“How could they?” Emma had scoffed when Regina whispered her suspicions, stepping back and admiring the dark blue denim shorts and light blouse the brunette was wearing. “You’re gorgeous, Regina. There’s no way they’d know about your spare appendage.”

But now they were home Regina was itching to change her clothes. The shorts were tight, constrictive. She needed to get out of them and put on something a little looser. She hoped Emma wouldn’t mind. And judging from the way the blonde’s eyes darkened slightly when she returned to the living room ten minutes later in a pair of baggy black shorts and a tank top, Regina guessed she didn’t.

“Did you steal my clothes?” Emma asked as the brunette sat down on the couch.

“No, why?” Regina frowned.

“That’s exactly the sort of thing I like to wear when I’m lounging around the house,” Emma said.

“It’s comfy,” Regina shrugged. “I needed to relax.”

“You weren’t relaxed today?” Emma asked.

“I was,” Regina said. “But those jeans were …”

She trailed off, not wanting to admit her dick had been quietly protesting about being squashed all day. She didn’t want to bring it up again. It seemed their conversations always ended up focusing somehow on her transgender identity.

“I’ll change too,” Emma said, hopping off the couch. “Then we can slob out on the couch together. Do you want to watch a movie tonight and get take out?”

“It’s not very romantic, is it?” Regina frowned. “I was going to cook for us, actually.”

“You cook?” Emma asked.

“I can make lasagne,” Regina replied. “But that’s about it.”

“I love lasagne,” Emma grinned. “Gimme five minutes to get changed and then I’ll come and help you. I’m starving already.”

* * *

When Cora popped her head around the kitchen door an hour later, the two women were stood side by side giggling uncontrollably. She had been about to say goodbye but didn’t want to interrupt the beautiful moment so simply turned around and headed out the house. When the front door snapped shut, Regina glanced towards the hallway.

“Did Ma just leave without saying goodbye?” Regina frowned.

“I dunno,” Emma said, still chuckling as she finished sprinkling the last of the grated cheese on top of the lasagne dish. “Is this ready now or are you going to make me grate more cheese?”

“It’s ready,” Regina said, reaching for the glass bowl and picking it up. Emma opened the oven door and she slid it inside. “Team work,” she smiled when she stood back up.

“We make a good team, it’s true,” Emma grinned. “More wine?”

Regina nodded and passed over her almost empty glass. Emma drained what was left of the first bottle and opened a second to top off her own beverage. They set the timer on the oven and then moved through to the living room, Regina glancing at a phone where a text from Cora confirmed that the older Mills had indeed left without saying goodbye because she didn’t want to ‘interrupt the love birds’ and that she’d see them both tomorrow.

“What movie shall we watch?” Emma asked, crouching down and perusing Regina’s sparse DVD collection. “Geez, is there anything here from this century?”

“Probably not,” Regina shrugged. “I like the classics.”

“Ooh, Fight Club!” Emma grinned, spotting one of her favourite movies and pulling it free from the rack. “Can we?”

“Sure,” Regina nodded.

They settled on the couch, Emma’s arm around Regina as the movie started. The brunette curled her legs onto the cushion next to her and rested her head on Emma’s shoulder. The younger woman turned and placed a kiss to the crown of her head before facing the screen again. When the lasagne timer pinged, both women untangled themselves and headed to plate up their food.

“Wow, this smells amazing,” Emma gasped as the oven door opened, steam coiling into the air.

Regina served up two generous helpings and they carried them and the remaining bottle of wine back to the living room. Emma dug in impatiently, coughing slightly.

“The red pepper flakes give it a bit of a kick,” Regina remarked as the blonde’s eyes watered. “Did I over-do it?”

“No, it’s just really hot. Like, temperature hot, not spicy hot,” Emma said, reaching for her wine and gulping it down to soothe her burned tongue.

“That’ll teach you for not waiting then,” Regina teased, leaning over to kiss Emma lightly.

The blonde leaned into the contact and deepened the kiss at once, pushing her tingling tongue into Regina’s mouth where it was caressed and sucked by the brunette. It might not have taken the pain away but the kiss definitely made Emma feel better.

“Thanks,” she murmured when Regina pulled away several minutes.

“You’re welcome,” Regina chuckled. “It’s probably cooled enough now as well.”

“Two birds and one stone,” Emma laughed as she reached for her plate and resumed the previously paused movie.

* * *

By the time the gunshot sounded at the end of the film, Regina was dozing, her head in Emma’s lap. The blonde’s fingers were trailing through her hair, eyes fixed not on the screen but at the woman lying beneath her. She smiled as Regina snuffled slightly in her sleep and she wondered what other noises the brunette might make whilst unconscious. She hoped she got the chance to find out.

Much as she wanted to continue watching Regina sleep, Emma finally relented after the DVD’s menu music began to repeat for the umpteenth time and she stretched across the brunette and grasped the remote to turn off the tv. She knew the movement would wake Regina and she apologised as brown eyes blinked open.

“How long was I asleep?” Regina asked.

“You missed the ending but not much more,” Emma said. “Tired after our day?”

Regina nodded. The two of them had walked around much of the city after their lazy morning in the park and then lunch. Emma’s FitBit had beeped long before they returned to the house and she knew her feet were going to be sore the next day. It had been worth it, however, to see the sights of Chicago with Regina by her side.

“Ma didn’t come back yet?”

“Nope,” Emma replied. “I’m guessing she will be out pretty late to avoid walking in on us.”

“Walking in on us doing what?” Regina asked, smirking up at Emma, her head still in the blonde’s lap.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Emma mused, her finger trailing along Regina’s jawline until her thumb brushed over her lower lips. “What could we possibly get up to that your mother might not want to witness?”

Regina giggled and reached up, clasping her hands behind Emma’s neck and pulling the blonde down towards her. The kiss was a little awkward, Emma bent over at an uncomfortable angle but neither woman cared. As the kiss deepened, tongues swiping and teeth nibbling, Regina moved slightly so Emma could lie down too, their bodies pressed together on the couch, their mouths still working. When Emma hooked her thigh over Regina’s the kiss broke for a moment, both breathing raggedly as they took in each other’s faces to determine whether the new move was ok. It was Regina who resumed their passionate embrace.

Emma wrapped her arm more tightly around Regina, her palm flat against the brunette’s lower back. She had lifted her leg up almost absentmindedly and was immensely glad that Regina had accepted the position. She could feel the brunette’s erection, no longer pinned down by tight denim or a dress but free within those baggy shorts, pressing against her thigh. Her core was wet, her centre aching for contact. But she knew she would never push it. She did, however, rock her hips forwards slightly, allowing the pressure of Regina’s cock to increase slightly. From the whimper that tumbled from plump lips against her own, Emma was guessing Regina didn’t mind. She let out a moan herself when Regina’s hands grasped her ass, squeezing her cheeks and pulling their pelvises together. Clearly she wasn’t the only one craving more contact. The next time they broke apart, Regina’s eyes were black with desire.

“Do you want to stop?” Emma husked.

“No,” Regina replied. “But I think we should.”

“Ok,” Emma nodded, uncurling her arm from behind Regina.

But the brunette stopped her, pushing her body impossibly closer to Emma’s. Green eyes widened in surprise and then fluttered closed as the kiss resumed, Regina unable to tear herself away despite knowing she ought to.

It was the front door closing that finally forced the two women apart. By the time Cora rounded the doorway into the living room, both women were sitting up and wiping the smudges of Regina’s lipstick from their faces.

“Good evening,” Cora said grinning widely. “Did you two have fun?”

“Yes, thank you,” Regina replied. “How was your dinner?”

“Not as fun as yours I’m guessing,” the older woman said moving into the room and sitting down in the armchair where she began to rub her swollen knuckles. Her arthritis had begun to flair up again on the drive home. It was time for her medication.

“We’re just heading to bed actually,” Regina said.

Emma flushed bright red and Cora’s eyebrows rose. Realising what she had said and the implications behind the statement, Regina gasped and looked between both women.

“No, not like that,” she gushed. “Ma, I didn’t mean … Emma, I’m not -.”

“I know,” Emma interrupted, a placating hand on Regina’s knee. “I know.”

“So I don’t need ear plugs tonight?” Cora smirked.

“Ma!” Regina groaned. “Stop it!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Cora laughed. “Just warn me when the time comes that I do need to start wearing them. I’ve never seen you like this with anyone else, Regina. She’s special, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Regina said, smiling at Emma.

“Regina’s special to me too,” Emma added. “Really special.”

Cora cocked her head to one side. “On second thoughts, perhaps I’ll book myself into a hotel when you two finally -.”

“Ma!” Regina exclaimed, covering her face with her hands and flopping back on the couch.

“I’m sorry it’s just too easy,” Cora laughed. “I never got to tease you as a teenager, darling. But you remember all that stick I gave Zelena. You must have known it was going to be your eventually.”

Regina parted her fingers and narrowed her eyes through the gaps at her mother. Emma couldn’t help but chuckle at the two women. She liked the relationship the two women had. It was very different to how she interacted with her own foster mother but she could see how close Regina and Cora were and was immensely grateful to the older woman for how accepting she was being of their relationship. She wasn’t sure what Mary Margaret or David would say as and when they found out about Regina. It hadn’t yet come up in conversation and when it did, Emma still wasn’t sure how much she wanted to tell them.

“Can you just lay off a little,” Regina said to her mother, interrupting Emma’s thoughts. “It’s still early days.”

“Ok, ok,” Cora agreed. “But just so you know, I’m really happy for you. For both of you, in fact,” she added, smiling at Emma. “You must have really captured her heart, Emma. I’ve never seen her like this before.”

“Like what?” Emma asked.

“Aside from tangled on the couch with you and completely at ease with your physical contact, I’ve never seen her so happy and comfortable with who she is. It’s like she can finally see what I’ve been seeing for ten years. A beautiful, smart, confident young woman who deserves the best in life.”

Emma turned to Regina whose eyes were glistening with tears at her mother’s words.

“I agree,” Emma said softly. “And I hope I can give it to her.”

As Emma kissed her lips Regina closed her eyes and the a single teardrop rolled down her cheek. Their lips brushed against one another, tender, loving, and sweet. But even though there was nothing over-sexed about the contact, Cora got up and left quietly, not wanting to interrupt the beautiful moment. Neither woman acknowledged her absence when the kiss ended.

“You do deserve the best,” Emma confirmed. “And I really do want to give it to you.”

“You already have,” Regina whispered back. “You’ve given me you.”

They smiled at each other, Emma reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind Regina’s ear. It wasn’t until they heard the toilet flush upstairs that they realised Cora must have left the room whilst they had been kissing.

“We should probably go to bed too,” Emma said. “Separately, of course.”

“We don’t have to,” Regina said.

“Go to bed?”

“No, go to bed separately.”

There was a heavy silence. Emma felt her heart rate quicken and the area between her thighs tingled in anticipation. She clenched them slightly, trying to dampen her own desire, a difficult feat when sat opposite someone as attractive as Regina Mills.

“Regina, if you’re not ready then -.”

“No, I don’t mean sex,” Regina amended. “I’m not ready for that. But sleeping in the same bed doesn’t have to mean sex, does it? We could just … sleep?”

“In the same bed?”

Regina nodded, biting her lip. Emma had never seen anyone look quite so adorable. Regina was clearly nervous, unsure whether Emma was going to reject her suggestion. Emma just wanted to wrap her arms around the brunette and hold her close. Which, she realised, she could do. In bed.

“Sounds perfect,” Emma said, standing up and pulling Regina to her feet. “Lead the way.”

Regina stepped into her bedroom first and flicked on the light. Emma shuffled in too and looked around. It was simply decorated; white walls, a few photo frames on the dresser, and a photograph of a landscape on the wall. And perfectly tidy, of course. Regina headed out to the bathroom to brush her teeth, allowing Emma to gather her pyjamas from the guest room and get changed into her old t-shirt and sleep shorts. By the time Regina returned, minty fresh, Emma was perched on the edge of the mattress.

“You were right,” she said bouncing slightly where she sat. “This is comfy.”

Regina chuckled. “I told you.”

Emma grinned before disappearing into the bathroom. She stood in front of the mirror, looking at herself for a while before she began to brush. She wondered what was about to happen. Not sex, of that she was sure. And she didn’t mind. It was enough to simply be in the same room let alone the same bed as Regina. But she knew their relationship was about to change. The intimacy, the connection between them was deepening with every passing moment they spent together. It scared her, she could see it in the face reflecting back at her, toothbrush poking out from between her pale lips. It didn’t scare her in a bad way, of that she was sure, but the strength of her feelings for Regina were positively petrifying.

She bent over, spat out her toothpaste and wiped her mouth. Giving herself a final once over in the mirror, Emma ran her fingers through her hair and left the bathroom.

When she returned to Regina’s bedroom, the main light had been switched off but the bedside lamp cast a soft glow over the room. Regina was sat up, propped against some pillows when Emma returned. She smiled shyly at the blonde as the door clicked shut. Emma made her way around to the empty side of the bed and sat down on top of the light summer duvet.

The question was on her lips, poised, waiting. She had to say it. She had to check.

“Are you sure?” Emma asked, turning to Regina and searching her face for any sign of hesitation.

“I’m sure,” Regina nodded, wriggling down beneath the covers and patting the space beside her.

Emma nodded and climbed into the bed too. The sheets were soft and cool but she could feel Regina’s body heat radiating towards her from just a few inches away. They both lay on their backs, staring at the ceiling. Regina reached over and turned off the bedside lamp, plunging the room into darkness. It took a while for their eyes to adjust, the dim orange glow from the streetlight outside slowly defining objects in the room. They both still lay stock still, not speaking. It was Regina who broke the silence.

“I’ve never slept in a bed with anyone before,” she whispered.

Emma rolled onto her side, hands tucked beneath her pillow. Regina mirrored her position seconds later.

“What do we do?”

“What do you mean?” Emma frowned.

“When we sleep. What do we do? I mean, do we cuddle or lie on our sides? What if I kick you or snore? I might snore, actually. No one’s ever been in the same room to tell me if I do or not and -.”

“Regina,” Emma chuckled, cutting off the brunette’s adorable ramble. “You’re overthinking this.”

“I am?”

“You are,” Emma nodded. “Sleeping in the same bed has no rules. We just do whatever feels right for us. Some people cuddle. Some don’t. And if you kick me, I’m sure I’ll survive.”

“We do what feels right?”

“Whatever we want,” Emma nodded.

“What do you want?” Regina asked. “I mean, what do you usually do?”

“I like cuddling,” Emma admitted. “But only if -.”

She stopped talking as soon as Regina all but scrambled across the bed and wrapped herself around Emma’s body. The blonde was frozen for a second before she curled her arm around Regina too, feeling the thin silk nightshirt beneath her fingers and the now familiar pressure of Regina’s erection against her thigh.

“I like cuddling too,” Regina mumbled against Emma’s neck.

“I can tell,” Emma chuckled.

“But just cuddling,” Regina said. “For now.”

“For now?”

Regina slowly moved her face from the crook of Emma’s neck and gazed up into the curious green eyes above her. Even through the darkness, she could perfectly read the anticipation and hope shining out of them.

“For now,” she nodded. “I’m not ready yet, Emma, and I don’t know when I will be. But I think … yeah, I think I want to try it.”

“It?”

“Sex,” Regina said. “With you. With it.”

“It?” Emma said again.

“My spare appendage,” Regina said, the corner of her mouth quirking as she used Emma’s term. “I think I want to see what it’s like at least once before the surgery.”

“Really?” Emma asked, eyes lighting up with excitement.

“If you’re willing,” Regina nodded.

“I’m willing,” Emma said at once. “I’ve very very willing, Regina. Whenever you’re ready, whatever you want, I’m willing.”

Regina smiled and buried her face in Emma’s hair, inhaling the familiar, sweet scent of the blonde. She felt Emma kiss the top of her head and let out a little sigh of contentment. She shifted her leg, allowing it to slide between Emma’s, entangling them together. Fingers raked slowly up and down her silk-clad back, her skin tingling delightfully. Yes, Regina thought, some day she would be ready. And she knew there was no other person in the world with whom she would want to be with when the time came.

Emma’s breath tickled her forehead as she settled in the blonde’s arms and began to drift off to sleep, a smile on her lips and a warmth in her heart, the source of which she had not yet verbalised but which she knew to be true.

Love.


	15. The Older Sister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ok, not blowing my own trumpet or anything but I really like this chapter. I hope you do too!

Regina awoke with a start. Her eye snapped open and her breath hitched. Something was on her body, pressing down. She whipped her head to the side from which the pressure came and felt herself instinctively relax. Emma was sleeping soundly next to her, the beautiful, serene face inches from Regina’s own. The blonde’s body was half draped across Regina’s, her leg and arm resting heavily on the brunette. Regina’s heart beat, which had sped up the moment she was awake, slowed down and she closed her eyes, nestling closer to Emma and drifting back off to sleep.

Emma finally woke over an hour later, Regina sleeping lightly beside her. When the blonde yawned however, her brown eyes opened and she smiled at the groggy brunette.

“Good morning,” Emma said, kissing Regina’s lips tenderly. “How did you sleep?”

“Amazingly,” Regina replied. “You?”

“Aside from you kicking me all night and the incessant snoring, rather well,” Emma said, a teasing glint in her eye.

Regina frowned. “You’re mean.”

“And you’re an excellent bed companion,” Emma said. “I slept like a baby in your arms.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Emma smiled.

Regina grinned and shifted herself closer, kissing Emma again and allowing the blonde to dominate the kiss. It was only when Emma’s hands began to skate down her back and grasp her ass, that Regina realised she had awoken with an erection. Thanks to the anti-androgens, this was a rare occurrence for her but apparently sleeping in a bed besides the beautiful blonde had side-effects. Morning erections, as Regina had discovered, didn’t go away until they were … dealt with.

“We should get up,” Regina said, pushing herself away from Emma and sliding towards the edge of the bed.

“Why?” Emma whined. “Can’t we just stay in bed all day?”

Regina bit her lip, tempted by the idea. Her crotch throbbed.

“No,” Regina said. “We need to be up before my sister comes over.”

“Your sister?” Emma repeated, sitting up as Regina climbed out of bed and reached for a robe. “You didn’t tell me your sister was coming over.”

“I didn’t know about it until yesterday,” Regina replied. “She called Ma when we were out and said the kids wanted to come over and see us. They’re coming for lunch.”

“Is she going to like me? Are the kids going to like me?” Emma panicked. She hadn’t bargaining on meeting the rest of Regina’s family. She didn’t know much about Zelena but she knew the approval of Henry Mills’ prodigal daughter might be hard to win.

Regina finished tying her robe and sat back down on the bed, legs crossed to conceal the prominent bulge between them. She turned to Emma and saw the look of apprehension on the blonde’s face.

“She’ll love you,” Regina assured her. “Why wouldn’t she?”

“Because I’m shacking up with her sister? Because I inherited all your father’s money? Because I’m paying for the surgery she doesn’t think you should get?”

Regina shrugged. “Yeah, but she hasn’t met you yet. As soon as she does, I’m sure she’ll forget all those little details. And as for the kids, as long as you play with them for a bit, they’ll love you too.”

“I don’t have anything to nice wear,” Emma said, climbing out of bed and heading towards the door.

“Honey,” Regina said, reaching for Emma’s hand as she passed, “you don’t have to dress up for my sister. You don’t even have to impress her, to be honest. Ma likes you and with regards to my family that’s the only opinion that matters to me. If Zelena for some unknown reason takes against you, I really couldn’t care less. But she won’t, I promise.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive,” Regina nodded. She glanced at the clock by her bed. “She’ll be here in an hour or so. Do you want to shower first?”

Emma nodded and placed a final soft kiss to Regina’s lips before disappearing out of the room. Regina lay back on the bed, her hands above her head. The robe opened as she stretched but she made no move to close it. She didn’t hear Emma coming back down the hall.

“Do you have any - oh.”

Regina sat up quickly, wrapping the robe over her erection at once. She flushed as her eyes met Emma’s. The blonde’s gaze was flickering between Regina’s face and her crotch. They might have gotten pretty hot and heavy during their relationship but Emma was yet to actually lay eyes on Regina’s spare appendage, not even the outline through thin silk pyjamas.

“Do I have any what?” Regina asked when Emma never finished her sentence.

“Um, exfoliator,” Emma said after a moment. “I forgot mine.”

“The green bottle in the shower,” Regina said.

“Right,” Emma said. “Um, thanks.”

She turned to leave but stopped in the doorway. Regina waited, knowing Emma had something she wanted to say or ask.

“Will that just … go away?” came the timid question. “Or do you need to … finish?”

“I’ll take care of it in the shower,” Regina said quietly.

Emma spun around, her eyes black with desire. Regina swallowed thickly. No one had ever looked at her like that before; pure, unadulterated lust. Emma took a step towards the bed, the pulsing in her core short-circuiting her brain. She needed to touch Regina. She needed to feel the brunette against her body. When Emma moved forwards Regina didn’t retreat, didn’t show any sign of not wanting Emma to come closer. Their eyes locked.

In three strides Emma was standing above her, hands cupping her cheeks as their mouths met in a heated kiss. Regina moaned as Emma pushed her back onto the bed, crawling onto the mattress and swiping her tongue against the brunette’s. Regina was vaguely aware that this was the first time Emma had been on top of her but she was more concerned with enjoying the dizzyingly good kiss she was experiencing. She could also feel Emma’s hot core pressed against her erection as the blonde straddled her. She shuddered in delight at the dampness radiating through Emma’s pyjamas and her own silk nightwear. Her penis hardened almost painfully.

And then it was over. The blonde was scrambling backwards off the bed with fear in her eyes, colliding with the wall before muttering an apology and sprinting from the room. Immensely confused, Regina sat up, smoothed down her hair, and stood on slightly wobbly legs. Her robe did little to hide her erection but she could tell from the distant sound of the radio that her mother was downstairs already so she stepped out into the hallway. The bathroom door was open but the guest bedroom’s was closed. She knocked on it and entered, despite not hearing Emma grant her permission.

The blonde was lying face down on the bed, her body shaking slightly.

“Emma?” Regina asked, sitting beside the young woman and placing a hand between her shoulder blades. “Are you alright?”

“I’m sorry,” Emma said, turning her tear-stained face towards Regina. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that and I’ll pack my things and go right now and -.”

“Woah, what?” Regina said, silencing Emma with a finger to the babbling lips. “You’re sorry for doing what?”

“For … I don’t know, mounting you, pushing you, whatever that was. I’m sorry for whatever just happened in your room,” Emma said, burying her face in the pillow again.

Regina frowned, unsure quite what was going on. What did the blonde think she had done which warranted an apology? True, the two of them had been getting rather carried away back then but Regina hadn’t protested. Far from it, in fact.

“Emma, you don’t need to apologise,” Regina said. “I have absolutely no problem with what just happened.”

The blonde mass of curls turned and Emma’s reddened face appeared once more. “You don’t?”

“I really don’t,” Regina smiled. “That was … incredible. It was hot and sexy and I really, really liked it.”

“I didn’t push you?”

“Well, I mean you pushed me backwards onto the bed so I suppose in the literal sense you did,” Regina mused. “But as far as pushing me into something I wasn’t ready for, no, you didn’t push me.”

“I should have asked though,” Emma said. “I was just so turned on by the thought of your … erection and my mind sort of went blank. I didn’t mean to be quite so aggressive but my body just … I just wanted to feel you,” she finished eventually.

Regina hesitated before lying down besides Emma on the bed and shuffling closer. The blonde stiffened slightly as she felt Regina press against her but when a slender arm encircled her frame, she seemed to relax slightly.

“Emma, I know you’re worried about pushing me too far and I know everything that’s happening is new to both of us but I promise you, if I wasn’t comfortable with something, I’d tell you. I know it’s hard to understand sometimes, to be honest I don’t quite get it myself. I mean, I’ve never felt so at ease physically with another person before. It was unnerving at first, knowing my body craved your touch. But as I’m becoming more comfortable mentally with the fact that I’m already comfortably physically with you, I guess our intimate relationship is going to develop and sometimes, like this morning, there are going to be some big steps. That doesn’t mean they’re wrong though, Emma. What just happened was really, really, not wrong.”

“It’s just confusing,” Emma admitted, her arm at last coming around to hold Regina closer. “I mean, I’ve never been in a relationship which hasn’t involved sex practically from the first date. I suppose I’m learning to navigate that too and I want to be respectful of you but sometimes I just feel my desire for you overwhelming me and I become desperate to be with you.”

“You are with me,” Regina smiled. “And we will be together in the biblical sense in the future. As for now, I suppose we’re working towards that moment.”

Emma nodded and wiped her teary face. Regina kissed her forehead and then her nose, making the blonde smile.

“We’d better get ready,” Regina said, climbing off the bed. “My sister will be here soon and I for one need coffee before her children descend into our lives.”

“They’re a handful?” Emma asked, getting up too and heading towards the bathroom to have that forgotten shower.

“Roland’s a sweetie but Robyn is a little terror,” Regina chuckled. “I love her but I’m always a little relieved when they all leave. It’s exhausting.”

“You don’t want kids?” Emma asked before freezing in the doorway to the bathroom, realising what she’d said.

Regina, who was standing stock-still in the hallway, opened and closed her mouth several times before answering.

“I’d never considered it, to be honest,” she admitted. “I figured it was never going to be on the cards for me.”

“And now?” Emma asked, turning around to look at the brunette.

But before Regina could answer, the sound of Cora’s footsteps on the stairs distracted the two women. Regina pulled her robe closer and Emma shrank back into the bathroom and closed the door.

“Ah, there you are,” Cora said. “Zelena’s on her way so you’d better get ready. Where’s Emma?”

“Shower,” Regina said shortly.

Cora cocked her head to one side and surveyed her daughter. Regina’s cheeks were flushed and her eyes looked a little startled.

“Are you ok?” she asked. “Did something happen?”

“What? No!” Regina exclaimed, walking away from her mother and into her bedroom.

“Honey, it’s ok,” Cora said, following her daughter and entering the room before Regina could close the door. “Sex is a normal, healthy part of any relationship. You just need some more practice, ok?”

“What?” Regina frowned. “What are you talking about, Ma? Emma and I didn’t have sex last night.”

Cora frowned. “But you slept in here,” she said, watching as her daughter straightened the bed covers and moved to her wardrobe to select her outfit for the day.

“Yes but we didn’t have sex,” Regina said. “We just slept.”

Eyebrows rose. “Really?”

“Yes,” Regina nodded. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind, can you please stop prying into my currently non-existent sex life? It’s embarrassing.”

Cora held her hands up with a smirk and backed out of the room. “Coffee’s downstairs when you’re ready,” she called over her shoulder.

Regina rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache prickling beneath her skull. The morning’s events had drained her. She knew she and Emma had a lot to talk about and work out. She also knew, despite her inexperience with relationships, that theirs was an incredibly open and honest one. Which was a good thing, of course. But even for them, it seemed too early to be discussing children. It was a ridiculous notion anyway. The anti-androgens made Regina practically infertile and there was also the small detail of the fact that they weren’t, despite Cora’s assumption, having sex.

The bathroom door opened, indicating that Emma was done with her shower. Relieved to finally be able to deal with the erection still throbbing between her thighs, Regina headed down the corridor and into the steamy bathroom.

* * *

“Auntie Gina!” Robyn and Roland chimed in unison as the brunette opened the front door half an hour later.

“Hey munchkins,” Regina smiled, crouching down and opening her arms as the two small children barrelled into her.

“Alright kids, get inside please,” Zelena said, squeezing herself past the huddle and into the house.

“Gina, I came first at school for my painting of a dragon,” Roland said proudly.

“Really? Wow!” Regina said, holding up her hand to give the small boy a high five.

“And I finded a dead rat,” Robyn piped up.

“Um, pardon?” Regina frowned, standing up and closing the door before following her sister through to the kitchen where Cora was embracing her eldest daughter.

“Yeah we have rats in the house apparently,” Zelena said. “Robin’s at home right now laying down poison.”

Regina wrinkled her nose in disgust and drained the last of her coffee just as Emma entered the kitchen, blonde hair damp from the shower. She stood awkwardly in the doorway for a moment before Regina beckoned her in.

“Zelena, I’d like you to meet someone.”

“Who?” Zelena asked without looking up from the bag she was rummaging through.

“This is Emma,” Regina said.

“Emma?” Zelena said, snapping her head up and forgetting her search for Robyn’s requested toy.

“Hi,” Emma said, offering her hand to the redhead.

Zelena was taller than Regina, with wild red hair which cascaded down her back. She had a thin face with piercing blue eyes and a slightly haughty air which Emma supposed came from her entitled childhood. As her gaze roved over the blonde, Emma could feel herself being judged. She wished she had packed a nicer blouse.

“Emma Swan?”

“Yep,” Emma nodded, retracting the unshaken hand and slipping it into the pocket of her shorts. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Mama, Tigger toy,” Robyn said, tugging on Zelena’s skirt.

“Um, right,” Zelena said, pulling the soft tiger from her bag and handing it absentmindedly to her daughter before turning back to Emma. “You’re the one to whom Daddy left the money.”

Emma swallowed. She had known that subject was going to come up but she hadn’t expected Zelena to be quite so direct. Cora and Regina said nothing, knowing the question was Emma’s alone to answer.

“He did,” Emma nodded. “But I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t want it. It just … happened.”

“Daddy just happened to leave you millions of dollars?” Zelena said, a sneer in her tone.

Emma glanced at Regina, begging for help. The brunette moved to Emma’s side and slipped her hand into Emma’s. Zelena’s eyes snapped to the contact and widened in surprise.

“Gina?” she frowned. She couldn’t remember the last time she had ever seen her sister initiate physical contact with anyone other than their immediate family and Kathryn.

“Zee,” Regina said. “I’d like you to meet Emma, my girlfriend.”

Now it was Emma’s turn to look surprised. They had not yet discussed what they were to each other, although at that point in their relationship she supposed the conversation was perfunctory. She squeezed Regina’s hand after a moment, letting the brunette know the term was more than ok with her.

“You’re together?” Zelena asked. “Since when?”

“A while ago,” Regina replied. “And I know what Daddy did was wrong but it’s not Emma’s fault. She offered me the money, you know. I don’t want it, aside from what I need for the surgery. But now we’re together, so I’d really like it if you got to know her as a person, not as the unfortunate soul Daddy decided to leave his estate to.”

Zelena looked between Regina, Emma and finally her mother who was leaning against the counter watching the exchange.

“You know about this?” she asked Cora.

“Of course,” Cora nodded. “And I’ve never seen Regina happier.” She looked past Zelena and smiled at her other daughter.

Zelena turned back to the couple and considered them for a moment. Emma looked incredibly nervous, her body practically vibrating as she waited for the redhead to pass judgement. Regina on the other hand was looking at Emma, a serene smile on her face as she gazed at the blonde.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Zelena said after a pause, hold out her hand for Emma to shake.

“Thanks,” Emma said, breathing an audible sigh of relief as she shook Zelena’s hand.

“Robyn, Roland, come and meet Auntie Gina’s friend, Emma,” Zelena called to the two children who had disappeared part way through the boring adult conversation.

“Hey guys,” Emma said as their little faces peered around the kitchen door. “Do you want to go out in the garden and see what bugs we can find?”

“Bugs?” Roland asked, his face lighting up. “Yeah!”

The two children raced for the back door and disappeared out into the garden. Emma turned to Zelena who was looking curiously at her.

“I’m a wildlife photographer,” Emma explained. “I thought they might be interested in learning about some of the creepy crawlies we find in the city. Plus it’s such a nice day it seems a shame to play inside.”

“Go ahead,” Zelena said. “Just make sure Robyn doesn’t eat any. She’s going through a stage where she puts everything in her mouth she can find.”

“Gotcha,” Emma grinned. “Regina, do you want to join us?”

“Bug hunting? I think I’ll pass,” Regina laughed.

“Suit yourself,” Emma said, placing a kiss to Regina’s cheek before stepping out into the back yard and heading over to the corner where Robyn and Roland were already turning over stones and looking for insects.

“Girlfriend?” Zelena asked as soon as Emma was out of earshot.

“Yes,” Regina said, folding her arms. “Do you have a problem with that?”

“No, of course not,” Zelena said. “I mean, if I’m ok with you being transgender why would I have a problem with you being a lesbian?”

“I’m not a lesbian,” Regina replied.

“Pardon?” Zelena frowned.

“Just because Emma’s a woman and I identify as one, doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian,” Regina sighed.

Zelena sat down heavily in a dining chair. “I’m sorry, I’m confused. What are you then?”

“I’m me,” Regina said simply. “I’m Regina, your sister, who just so happens to have fallen for a woman.”

“Fallen for?” Cora said, joining her daughters’ conversation at last.

“Yeah, Ma,” Regina nodded. “I’ve fallen for Emma.”

It felt strange to say it out loud, to acknowledge something she had known for a while. She also supposed she probably should have told Emma before she told her mother and sister.

Cora smiled widely. “I’m so happy for you, Regina.”

“Thanks,” Regina said, turning back to Zelena. “Are you happy for me too, Zee?”

“Hang on,” Zelena frowned. “Can someone please explain how this happened? You went to see this woman to ask her for money for that surgery, right? What, she’s got some weird kink for girls with dicks?”

“Zelena,” Cora barked at once. “That’s enough.”

Regina didn’t say anything. She just stared impassively at her sister.

Zelena sighed and leaned back in her chair. “I’m sorry,” she said. “But you’ve got to see that this is a little confusing. I mean, the last I heard this woman was paying for your surgery with Daddy’s money. How did you guys go from that to sleeping together?”

“We’re not sleeping together,” Regina said. “Not that it’s any of your business.”

“But she’s your girlfriend,” Zelena said.

“Yes, but we’re not having sex,” Regina said.

“And she’s ok with that?” Zelena asked.

“Not everything’s about sex, Zee,” Regina said. “We’re waiting.”

“Until you’ve had the surgery?”

Regina shrugged. “We’re waiting,” she repeated.

“I think the point here is that your sister is happy, Zelena,” Cora said. “Emma’s an amazing young woman and I’m sure you’ll really like her when you get to know her. And can’t you see how important she is to Regina?”

“Well, of course she’s important. She’s paying for that damn surgery she doesn’t need to get,” Zelena growled.

“I want the surgery,” Regina said. “We’ve been over this. I know I don’t _need_ it in the medical sense of the world but I can’t keep living in this body. And yes, Emma’s going to be paying for it but that is absolutely not why I’m with her. I know it’s complicated and I didn’t mean for this to happen, Zee. I didn’t mean to fall in love with her but -.”

“What?”

All three Mills whipped their heads towards the open back door where Emma was standing, staring straight at Regina.

Damn, Regina thought. That wasn’t how I wanted to tell her.

Ignoring her family, she crossed to the doorway and stepped out into the sunlit garden. Roland and Robyn paid them no attention; they were busy racing two snails across a paving slab. Regina reached for Emma’s hands and pulled the blonde towards her, out of view from Cora and Zelena who were still in the kitchen, peering curiously through the window.

“I’ve fallen in love with you, Emma,” Regina said softly, looking straight into those bright green eyes she’d come to adore. “I think I’ve known for a while, to be honest. I might not have been in love before but I know what I’m feeling and I know what’s between us. I … I love you.”

“I love you too,” Emma said at once, placing a short, bruising kiss to Regina’s lips. “I love you, Regina.”

“You do?”

“I’ve been wanting to say it for weeks,” the blonde admitted. “But I didn’t want to scare you off.”

“I’m not scared,” Regina said. “Not of what’s between us, not of the future, not of the surgery. I’m not scared of anything any more because of you.”

Emma felt her heart swell as she listened to Regina’s words. She wrapped her arms tightly around the smaller woman and held her close, burying her face in the sweet-smelling hair. Zelena and Cora watched on from the window, one smiling, the other frowning.

“She really does love her?” Zelena asked.

“Of course she does,” Cora replied. “It’s plain as day. They’re perfect together.”

“And you’re ok with it?” Zelena asked.

“I’m ok with whatever makes Regina happy,” Cora said simply. “And look at her, Zee. Have you ever seen Regina smile like that?”

Zelena turned back to her sister and watched as the brunette giggled at something Emma was saying. She considered the scene before her. It was true. She had never seen Regina so relaxed, carefree, and clearly, utterly besotted with the woman before her.

“What if it goes wrong?” Zelena whispered. “What if Emma hurts Regina?”

“She won’t,” Cora said confidently. “That woman’s love for Regina is unparalleled. Whatever they share, wherever it came from, it’s the stuff of legends.”

“Too good to be true?”

Cora shook her head. “Strong enough to survive anything. It doesn’t matter what the future throws at them, those two are destined to be together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: fluff overload? I regret nothing!


	16. Inheriting Henry's Money

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: hey lovelies! So after a day writing random blogs and articles for various employers on the strangest different topics, I rather had to force myself to finish this chapter. But your reviews and love have been pouring in over the last few days and I’m eternally for grateful for that. Therefore my tired little fingers kept tapping away and came up with this for you all! Trigger warning for mention of child abuse.

It took Emma and Regina a long time to say goodbye that afternoon. Zelena and the children had departed after lunch but Emma hung around, wanting to spend as much time as possible with the brunette before she drove back to Storybrooke. When at last her bag had been slung into the trunk of the bug and she could put off leaving no longer, she wrapped Regina in her arms and buried her face in her hair.

“It’s only two weeks,” Regina said as Emma pulled back. “Less than. I’ll see you in twelve days.”

The two of them had agreed to meet again in Storybrooke the weekend after next. It wasn’t exactly a long time to be apart but to both of them it felt like an age.

“I wish it was sooner,” Emma said, her arms still looped around Regina, fingers grazing her lower back through the thin blouse the brunette wore.

“I wish it was too,” Regina smiled. “But I can’t get out of these work shifts. I never usually have to go in at the weekend but Kathryn is taking her annual vacation and I have to cover for her.”

Emma pouted but nodded her understanding. Two weeks, they could do that, right? She kissed the brunette one final time, slow and lingering, before turning and ducking into her car. Regina stood on the sidewalk, waving until the yellow car rattled around the corner of the street and drove out of sight.

* * *

The first week for Emma was filled with so much paperwork and financial jargon that she barely had time to even think about how much she was missing Regina. She had meeting after meeting with Mr Gold and other lawyers from his firm and on Friday afternoon she finally signed the papers, officially transferring all of Henry Mills’ estate into her name. As she walked out of the building in the late afternoon sunlight, she was still trying to process the fact that she was a multi-millionaire.

Regina’s week was much slower. With Kathryn absent from work, the days dragged and she found herself talking to customers for longer than usual just because she was getting lonely. She would text Emma on her breaks but the blonde was so busy herself their conversations were always rather short. So she instead redesigned the perfumery display, to the delight of the store manager, and began to design some new promotional strategies to boost summer sales. When she finished her shift on Saturday evening, she found a message from Emma on her phone. Frowning at the image on her screen, she called the blonde.

“Hey,” Emma said, sounding incredibly cheerful. “You like it?”

“What is it?” Regina asked.

“My new car,” the blonde boasted.

“It’s huge,” Regina remarked.

“Yeah,” Emma nodded, looking out of the window of her house and admiring the gleaming vehicle sat in the driveway. “Well the sales rep was really persuasive. And I do live on a farm.”

“You have ducks and chickens,” Regina laughed.

“Well now I have an SUV I could have other animals.”

“Could being the optimum word,” Regina said. “I doubt you’d be letting a pig or sheep anywhere near that thing even if you did have them. And I’m guessing there’s a little less money in your account right now.”

Emma bit her lip. Was it insensitive to have sent her girlfriend a picture of the car she had bought with her late father’s money?

“Um, yeah, I guess,” Emma said. “Regina, I didn’t mean -.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Regina interrupted. “Honestly Emma. I don’t want that money but you shouldn’t feel guilty about spending it.”

“I’m selling the company,” the blonde informed her. “Since neither you nor Zelena want to take it on and I don’t know the first thing about business, let alone machines. Apparently there’s already someone who’s been sniffing around so I shouldn’t have to wait too long to unload that.”

“How much for?”

“Thirty million,” Emma admitted.

“Wow,” Regina said quietly.

“Yeah,” Emma replied.

There was a pause, neither woman quite sure what to say.

“How was your day?” Emma asked at last.

“Good, although I doubt my commission matched the guy who sold you the SUV,” Regina chuckled.

“Well there’s always tomorrow,” Emma said. “When do you start?”

“Ten,” Regina replied. “And we close at four, so it’s a short shift.”

“Skype date tomorrow evening?” Emma suggested.

The two women had tried to speak face to face at least once a week during their time apart. Phone calls and texts were great but there was something about actually seeing the other woman that they both enjoyed. And it wasn’t just because they found one another incredibly attractive.

“Sounds perfect,” Regina smiled. “I’ve got to go though,” she added as she reached her car. “Don’t want to be pulled over for using my phone whilst driving.”

“Ok, I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yes,” Regina said. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

* * *

By the time Regina clocked off work on Thursday afternoon the following week, she was counting down the minutes until she saw Emma again. She was planning on leaving early Friday morning and spending as much time as possible in Storybrooke. Emma had no work plans for the full three days and they were going to make the most of being together again.

As Regina was packing that evening, her cell rang. Glancing at the caller ID, she was a little surprised to see who it was.

“Hi Zee,” Regina said. “How are you?”

The two hadn’t spoken since the day Zelena and Emma had met. Although her sister had been perfectly civil to the blonde after their initial conversation, and Roland and Robyn were besotted with her, Regina had gotten the feeling that her sister had some things she wanted to say.

“I’m exhausted as always,” Zelena replied. “But one of my patients made a miraculous recovery this week and Roland’s been put into the top set for reading in his English class.”

“Great,” Regina grinned. “And Robyn?”

“Ate a candle last night,” Zelena sighed. “I’m starting to think she’s wired wrong.”

Regina laughed. “She’s only three. She’ll grow out of it.”

“Hopefully,” Zelena said. “You’re off to see Emma tomorrow, right?”

There it was, Regina mused. The reason for the call. She loved her sister and they had been very close as youngsters. But in recent years the two of them weren’t in contact so often and she had guessed there was an ulterior motive which caused the redhead to reach out.

“Yes,” Regina said. “I’m driving down tomorrow morning and staying until Sunday. Why?”

The silence which followed made Regina huff in frustration. If her sister had something to say, why couldn’t she just come out and say it?

“She has the money, you know,” Zelena said.

“I know, Emma told me last week,” Regina said. “How do you know?”

“Mr Gold told Ma and she mentioned it to me on Monday when I called.”

“Ok, and what have you got to say about this little development?” Regina asked.

“Gina, this woman has just gone from driving around in a rust-bucket to inheriting millions of dollars. Aren’t you worried how that’s going to change her? Don’t you see how that’s going to change your relationship?”

“What are you talking about, Zee?” Regina frowned. “The inheritance money has absolutely nothing to do with my relationship with Emma nor how I feel about her.”

“Of course it does,” Zelena snapped. “Don’t be so naive. I know you haven’t got much experience with relationships but -.”

“Hey,” Regina said, cutting her sister off. “Just because I didn’t sleep my way through the college football team doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s going on with my relationship with Emma. I love her, Zee. And she loves me. We don’t care about the money. Emma doesn’t care about the money. I don’t want it myself and I know she’s a little apprehensive about having it at all. Yes, we’re going to have to talk things through but it doesn’t change how I feel about her.”

“It’s the reason you’re with her,” Zelena spat.

There was a heavy silence. Regina swallowed thickly and balled her hand not holding the cell into a fist, the nails digging into her flesh.

“Take that back,” Regina hissed.

“Why? It’s the truth.”

“No it’s not,” Regina snarled. “Yes, I first met her when I went to ask for money for the surgery you refused to support me for, but that is not why we’re together. I had no intention of falling for her when I went down there. I didn’t plan any of this. Yes it’s messy and complicated and I know we’re going to have a lot to work through in the future but I am not with Emma for the money. I don’t even want the fucking money. I don’t want any reminder of Daddy and if there was any other way to have this surgery I would take it. But there isn’t and I have no choice. Emma was kind and generous and she offered to help me. And then, as we spent time together, something more developed between us. But it is not about the money. It was never about the money, so don’t you dare say that it was.”

Hanging up the phone, Regina sat down heavily on her bed and threw her arms over her face. She cried quietly, her tears dribbling down her face and soaking into her hair. How could her sister possibly think Regina was with Emma for the money? Regina had never been a materialistic person and hadn’t even missed her previously extravagant childhood after their father left. And Emma had offered Regina the money, Zelena knew that. Yes, the fact that Emma inherited their father’s estate was the catalyst which brought the two women into contact for the first time but it had nothing at all to do with what happened next.

Regina reached for her phone and quickly dialled Emma’s number.

“Hey, are you packing?” came the cheery voice as soon as Emma answered.

“You know I’m not with you for the money, right?” Regina asked, ignoring the question and forgetting any pleasantries.

“Um, what?” Emma frowned. “Where the hell did that come from?”

“Just answer the question,” Regina said.

“Of course you’re not,” Emma said. “Why are you even asking me that?”

Regina let out a shuddering sigh of relief. Emma, hearing the exhale over the phone, began to realise something had happened.

“Who said something to you?” Emma asked, knowing this had come from someone other than Regina.

“Zelena,” the brunette admitted. “She thinks the fact that you have the money will change our relationship and that I should be careful. And then she said that the only reason I was with you in the first place was because I needed the money to get my surgery.”

“That’s crap,” Emma growled. “You know that and I know that. Why are you letting her get inside your head?”

Regina shrugged and rolled over, wiping her eyes. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I suppose she touched a nerve.”

“What nerve?”

“The money.”

“Oh.”

Regina could hear the apprehension in Emma’s voice, the fear. She didn’t want to scare her girlfriend but she also knew that some of what her sister had said was right. Their relationship would change, of course it would. Everything was going to change now Emma’s bank balances were boasting eight-figure sums. It was inevitable. And something she knew they needed to talk about.

“Can we talk about this tomorrow?” Regina asked. “I’ve had a really long day at work and I want to get an early night.”

“Um, ok,” Emma nodded. “But I just need you to know that as far as I’m concerned, nothing’s changed. Not when it comes to how I feel about you, anyway.”

“Nothing’s changed for me either, in that sense,” Regina said. “But I still think we need to talk.”

“Ok, fine,” Emma said, not sounding fine at all. “Are you still planning to leave early?”

“Yes,” Regina said. “I should be with you by ten.”

“Text if you’re delayed,” Emma said. “Otherwise just come straight to the house and I’ll meet you here.”

There was a despondent air to the blonde’s words and Regina knew she was upset. She hadn’t intended to cause Emma any pain but she also knew the two of them couldn’t avoid the impending conversation.

“I can’t wait to see you,” Regina offered.

“Me neither,” Emma said. “Oh, I’ve got to go. I’ve got a call from Nat Geo on the other line.”

“Ok, I love -.”

The line went dead before Regina could finish her sentence. She stared at the blank screen for a moment before tossing it aside with a sigh. She supposed she couldn’t blame Emma for being hurt. She knew she hadn’t exactly been clear about why the two of them needed to talk and Emma was probably thinking the worst. She quickly typed a text to the blonde, reiterating how much she couldn’t wait to see her the next day and telling her she loved her, before she continued her packing, more impatient than ever to be in Storybrooke as soon as possible.

* * *

The road seemed to crawl by beneath the wheels of the Mercedes. Regina even cursed the car when she had to stop for gas, despite knowing new it was her own fault for not filling up the tank before she left. She scowled at the cashier when he asked if she wanted anything else and slammed the fifty dollar bill onto the counter. She knew it wasn’t the spotty teenager’s fault she was in a bad mood but she didn’t apologise before she marched out to her car and drove off, accelerating onto the road far faster than she knew she should.

By the time she pulled up outside Emma’s manor house, she was positively vibrating with anticipation. The front door was wide open but no one came out to greet her. She parked beside the brand new SUV, grabbed her bag from the trunk and headed inside.

“Hello?” she called as she reached the dark entrance, the cool air a welcome relief from the hot morning sun. “Emma?”

“In here,” came the distant reply.

Regina dropped her bag at the foot of the staircase and made her way through in the direction of Emma’s voice. She soon found herself in the kitchen where the blonde was stirring some milk into what Regina could smell was coffee.

“Hi,” she said quietly.

Emma turned around and smiled. “Hey, how was you drive?”

“Long,” Regina said, making no move towards the blonde, unsure if she was even welcome.

Emma, realising Regina was rooted to the spot, put the spoon on the counter and crossed the room herself, stopping just before she reached Regina, arms outstretched towards the apprehensive-looking woman. Regina fell into them at once, hugging Emma tightly. Slightly alarmed at the death-grip the brunette had on her, Emma held her close too, stroking her hair.

“I thought you hated me,” Regina sobbed against Emma’s neck.

“What?” Emma asked, pulling back and wiping the tears from Regina’s face. “No! Why would you think that?”

“Yesterday,” Regina hiccupped. “You seemed mad at me and then you didn’t say I love you when we ended the phone call.”

“I had to go,” Emma reminded her. “Work, remember? And I wasn’t mad at you, Regina. Zelena, on the other hand, I’m not too happy with. But you? Honey, I love you, I could never hate you.”

“But I upset you,” Regina said, wiping her eyes and looking up into Emma’s earnest face. “I thought I’d insulted you by talking about my father’s money.”

“I was upset,” Emma admitted. “And perhaps a little insulted. But I agree that we do need to talk about it, I just don’t think what you were saying last night is anything we need to worry about. It’s Zelena who put those thoughts in your head, remember? Nothing has to change between us unless we want it to.”

She moved back towards the coffee mugs, picked them up, and gestured for Regina to sit down at the dining table. The brunette did so, taking a grateful sip of the rich brown liquid. Emma did the same, watching Regina who was now glancing around the kitchen.

“You went shopping,” the brunette observed, eyes sliding over the enormous new fridge, microwave, and the pile of flattened cardboard boxes in the corner illustrating Emma had also filled her cupboards with crockery, cutlery, pots and pans.

“I needed to put my stamp on the place,” Emma said. “The kitchen seemed as good a place as any to start. There’s a new TV in the living room too.”

“Can we get this talk over and done with?” Regina asked suddenly. “If we don’t, I’m worried it’s going to hang over the whole weekend and I don’t want anything to spoil our time together.”

“Ok,” Emma nodded slowly. “What do you want to talk about?”

Regina put her coffee mug down and turned to face Emma fully, leaning forwards and taking the blonde’s hands in her own. She took a deep breath before beginning.

“There are three things I need to say,” she started. “Firstly, I need you to know that we would be together even if you didn’t have this money. Yes, we met because of my father’s will but that has no factor on why I am with you. If we had somehow met without my father’s posthumous interference, I know we’d be together. I’m attracted to you, Emma. I fell in love with you, not the money.”

“I know that too,” Emma said softly. “I know our love has nothing to do with the money.”

“Good,” Regina said. “I just needed to say it.”

Emma nodded her head and waited for the brunette to continue.

“Secondly, aside from the surgery, I don’t want any of my father’s money, but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to spend and enjoy it. Don’t feel in any way guilty about the fact that you can now go out and buy fancy cars or new kitchen appliances or massive televisions. My father wanted you to have the money and so do I. Enjoy it, please.”

“It’s weird,” Emma admitted. “Knowing why I have the money. Knowing where it came from and what that man did to you.”

“But it’s your money now,” Regina said firmly. “Don’t allow his memory to taint something which can allow you to make a wonderful life for yourself.”

“What about if I wanted to make a wonderful life for us with the money?” Emma asked, almost without thinking.

Regina’s breath hitched. The implication of the blonde’s statement sank in slowly. It was too much. It was too fast. Emma couldn’t mean it, surely. The colour rose in the blonde’s face and she opened her mouth to rectify her mistake but Regina got there first.

“If you choose to spend the money on something we’ll both benefit from, I don’t have a problem with that,” Regina said. “But what I don’t want is to be handed a lump sum. As I’ve said before, anything I bought with it would remind me of him and, aside from the surgery, that isn’t what I want.”

“But if I bought something with the money it would be different?” Emma frowned, unsure if she understood the brunette’s logic on that subject.

“Yes,” Regina said simply. “It would remind me of you.”

Emma grinned and leaned forwards, kissing Regina gently. As she pulled back, Regina’s mouth chased her own, capturing the pink lips in a deeper, hungrier kiss. Emma moaned and leaned forwards, wrapping Regina in her arms and all but climbing onto her lap. She knew their conversation wasn’t over but she didn’t mind pausing it for this pleasurable interlude. When they at last broke apart, Regina’s eyes widened when she realised Emma was straddling her thighs on the dining chair.

“Sorry,” Emma said, climbing off the brunette and returning to her own seat. “Got carried away.”

“Don’t apologise,” Regina replied. “I missed you too.”

Emma smiled dopily. “Ok, what’s the third thing you need to say and then we can go back to making out?”

Regina took a sip of her coffee before answering.

“After this conversation, can we agree not to talk about my father again? Now you have the money, now all that legal stuff is out the way, can we move on? Can the rest of our relationship be about us, not how we came to meet?”

Emma cocked her head, considering the woman before her. She understood that families were complicated. Hell, her own parents had abandoned her when she was less than a week old but she had still gone in search of them when she was eighteen. It was natural, instinctive, for her to want to know where she came from, despite the wonderfully loving adoptive parents she had found herself with. So did Regina mean it? Did she really want to erase all mentions of her father? She knew Henry Mills had treated her terribly. He had been unsupportive and bigoted and a downright bully when it came to his daughter but did Regina truly want to forget he ever existed?

“Are you sure?” Emma asked. “I know you feel like that now but perhaps, in the future, things might change. Do you really want to forget him?”

Regina shook her head. “I have a daily reminder of my father every time I look in the mirror,” the brunette said, her finger raising to trace the delicate scar which cut into her upper lip. Emma gasped. She had suspected but never known exactly how the old injury had been inflicted. “I’ll never forget him, Emma, and that’s not what I’m asking us to do. What I mean is I want our relationship to move past what brought us together and focus on our future. Yes, your bank account is now brimming with Henry Mills’ money. Yes, this surgery which is finally going to allow me to be me is going to be bankrolled by him. But that’s just it. I am me. You are you. Can we just be … us?”

“No mention of Henry Mills?”

“No mention,” Regina confirmed.

“Ok,” Emma agreed. “But can I ask one final question before the subject is closed forever?” With Regina’s nod of consent, she continued. “What exactly did happen to your lip?”

Regina’s fingers stroked over the deep fissure once more before she answered. “When I was young, when I was Jacob, my father used to hit me when he found me wearing my mother’s dress or my sister’s make up,” Regina explained. “It hurt but I suppose it was what most people his age experienced in their own childhoods.”

“It’s still wrong,” Emma interrupted.

“I know,” Regina nodded. “And I hated him for hitting me. My mother tried to stop him but she couldn’t. He used to apologise afterwards, say he didn’t mean it and that he was sorry he got angry. Until the last time.” Her fingers reached for her lips once more, pressing against the damaged skin. “It was the day I told him I wanted to be called Regina. It was the moment I came out and left behind my identity as Jacob forever. I was fifteen. He hit me so hard I passed out. When I came to I was lying on the floor, my mother and sister were both standing between me and my father, screaming at him. All I really remember is the taste of my own blood and his eyes. He glanced between them, looking at me. There was no remorse, no guilt at what he had done. There was just … hatred. We didn’t speak after that day and he walked out on our family a couple of months later.”

Wordlessly Emma opened her arms and allowed a tearful Regina to crawl into them, curling up on her lap and laying her head against the blonde’s shoulder. The two of them cried quietly, no words needed. After a long time, Regina eventually raised her head and wiped her reddened eyes. Emma did the same, offering the brunette a watery kiss.

“No more,” she said softly. “We don’t need to talk about him ever again.”

“Thank you,” Regina whispered, pressing her scarred lip against Emma’s and knowing that no matter what her father had done to her, the woman in her arms loved her unconditionally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: bit heavy, sorry guys! But this needed to be done. Let’s move onto happier and perhaps sexier SwanQueen times …


	17. The Next Step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: sorry for the delay. Hope it was worth the wait!

“Do you want to come and see my new duck pond?” Emma asked when Regina eventually climbed off her lap several minutes.

The brunette looked down at her, eyebrow raised. “Is that a euphemism?” Emma barked out a laugh and stood to tidy away their coffee mugs. Regina frowned slightly at the chortling younger woman. “Did that not work? I figured it was a hole, wet, you know.”

Still laughing, Emma turned from stacking the dishwasher. “No, it worked. Kind of. It’s just still a little strange to hear you saying sexual things.”

“Oh,” Regina said, blushing and looking away from the blonde.

“No, it’s a good thing,” Emma rushed. “I love it when you say sexy things.”

“Ponds are sexy?” Regina asked, a teasing tone back in her voice.

“You’re sexy,” Emma amended, draping her arms over Regina’s shoulders and dropping a kiss to the tip of her nose. “So, duck pond?”

The two of them walked outside and headed towards the end of the garden where Emma’s birds lived. One of the aspects Emma loved most about having moved into the mansion was the vast expanse of space her ducks and chickens could enjoy. Hiring a builder to dig the pond had been high on her list of things to do as soon as her bank balances soared. The recently disturbed earth was still settling so the water was a little murky and the plants she had bought were yet to begin their expansion along the sides but the ducks didn’t seem to care. They quacked when they saw their owner approaching, gliding across the surface towards the two women walking down to the water’s edge.

“It’s beautiful,” Regina admired, looking around the large pond.

“Thanks,” Emma smiled. “They like it.”

She handed half of the loaf she had brought from the kitchen to Regina and together they stood stand by side, throwing ripped chunks of bread into the water. The ducks swam amongst one another, gathering up the sodden food in their beaks. When it was all gone, Emma and Regina retreated to an old wrought iron bench, another new addition, and watched as the birds floated back towards the middle of the pond.

“Do you have any plans for us this weekend?” Regina asked.

“Not really,” Emma said. “Ruby wants me to come to The Rabbit Hole tomorrow evening but only because she thinks I’m going to buy her drinks all night.”

“Do you want to go?”

Emma shrugged. “I went last weekend. I’d rather spend my time with you.”

“Sappy,” Regina grinned, leaning over to kiss Emma lightly.

“Well I don’t get to see you much,” Emma defended. “And when I do it’s only for a weekend. Three days isn’t long enough, you know. I’d rather spend quality time with just you than share you with Ruby and everyone else at the Rabbit Hole.”

“And are we doing anything specific during this quality time together?”

Emma’s eyes darkened slightly at the sultry tone of the brunette’s voice. She swallowed thickly before answering.

“Um, no, just anything. With you.”

“Anything?” Regina asked, shifting closer to the blonde on the bench.

No more words were needed as Regina leaned forwards and closed the gap. Their mouths met, familiar and comforting to both women. Emma’s lips parted as Regina’s tongue grazed across them, asking for entry. Her hands landed on the brunette’s hips, pulling their bodies even closer as their tongues caressed one another. Regina’s teeth nibbled tenderly on Emma’s lip, drawing a moan from the blonde and quickening her heart beat. Stroking up Regina’s back, she buried her hand in the silky soft locks, tugging Regina’s mouth harder against her own. The brunette responded, the pressure increasing as the heat between the two of them built.

It was Regina who eventually broke the heated kiss, breathing heavy and cheeks flushed. Emma looked no better, her hair a little dishevelled from where the brunette’s fingers had teased their way through it. Resting her forehead against Emma’s, Regina let out a low sigh.

“That was amazing,” Emma said. “You’re amazing.”

“Thanks,” Regina said, her eyes still closed. “I just … need a minute.”

Emma nodded her understanding, trying to tamp down her own desire as she realised what Regina meant. She couldn’t stop herself from wanting the brunette. Desperately wanting the brunette. But she knew that anything which may or may not happen between them that weekend or in the future all had to be initiated by Regina.

When Regina pulled back at last, she offered Emma a small smile. The blonde returned it, tangling her fingers between Regina’s and squeezing.

“I’ve missed that,” Regina said. “The feeling, you know?”

“I know,” Emma nodded.

“It’s not the same,” Regina continued. “Speaking on the phone and texting. It’s … it’s not enough.”

“I know,” Emma repeated.

“Have you ever been in a long distance relationship before?” Regina asked.

“With Lily,” Emma reminded the brunette. “But, well, it didn’t exactly work out.”

“Why not?” Regina asked. “I mean, if it’s not too personal.”

Emma shook her head. “We just weren’t able to sustain it. I’m not saying we would still be together now if she hadn’t moved away but whatever we had, it wasn’t strong enough to withstand the distance. Both of us needed more physicality than our relationship could offer. We just … drifted apart. I’m still convinced she drifted into someone else’s arms.”

“I’d never do that,” Regina said at once.

“I know,” Emma assured. “And I would never cheat on you either.”

“But that doesn’t mean you’re happy with being in a long distance relationship.”

“Did I say that?” Emma asked. “Regina, just because it didn’t work out with me and Lily, doesn’t mean it won’t work out between me and you. The two relationships are completely different. How I feel about you isn’t even comparable to how I felt about her. We can deal with this, we can make this work.”

“What if I don’t want to?” Regina asked, turning to look directly Emma.

“Don’t want it to work?” Pain flashed across the pale face, her heart splintering slightly at the words.

“No, no,” Regina gushed. “What if I don’t want this relationship to be long distance?”

Relaxing slightly in the knowledge that Regina was about to end things between them, Emma cocked her head to one side, trying to work out what the brunette was saying.

“You mean, you want one of us to move?”

Regina shrugged. “It’s too soon, I know,” she said. “But I don’t know how much longer I can go only seeing you once or twice a month. I … I want to see you every day, Emma.”

“And I want that too,” Emma said quickly. “But we both have our own lives, mine here in Storybrooke and yours in Chicago. Are either of us ready to give theirs up?”

“I am,” Regina said at once.

Emma’s eyes widened. Regina withdrew slightly and turned to look back over the duck pond. She bit her lip, knowing her inexperience when it came to relationships meant she had just made a mistake.

“It’s too soon,” she said quietly. “I scared you.”

“No,” Emma said quickly. “No, you didn’t, Regina. Surprised, perhaps. But you haven’t scared me.”

“Surprised?” Regina asked. “Why?”

Emma chewed her own lip. She didn’t want to break the promise the two of them had made less than an hour earlier but it needed to be verbalised. She just didn’t use his name.

“You’d really want to live here?” Emma asked, waving her hand towards the mansion towering on the skyline behind them.

Regina glanced towards her father’s former home before answering. “I want to be with you,” Regina said simply. “I don’t care where. And I don’t care when. If you want to wait, that’s fine with me. I just … I need you to know that I’m in this. One hundred percent, Emma.”

“I’m in too,” Emma said, taking Regina’s hands in her own once more. “I’m so in. More in than I’ve ever been. But -.”

“We’ve only known each other a few months,” Regina supplied.

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “I mean, we haven’t even ….”

She trailed off, not wanting to say what she was thinking out loud. It wasn’t that sex was the be all and end all of a relationship for her. And she certainly didn’t doubt their sexual compatibility. But Emma would be a fool to ignore her strong attraction to Regina. A fool to think that she didn’t want more out of their relationship. She was happy to wait. She would wait as long as was necessary. But living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed, night after night, she didn’t know how long she would be able to control her desires.

“You want to have sex before anything more happens?” Regina said, her face dropping.

“No,” Emma said. “Well, not exactly.”

Regina didn’t even feel the anger rising inside her until it spilled out, unbidden. “You want to, what, take me for a test drive?” Regina snapped.

Blonde eyebrows rose at the accusatory tone. “Hey! I never said that,” Emma defended, pulling the brunette’s hands slightly so Regina faced her. “I never said that, Regina.”

“But you’re thinking it,” Regina said, her bottom lip trembling with emotion. “You’re thinking what if we commit to each other and then I can’t satisfy you? Or what if you can’t deal with the fact that I have a penis? I mean, you say you’re ok with it but you’ve never seen me naked. You’ve never seen what I actually look like. I hate my body, Emma. What if you do too?”

“Woah, Regina, it’s ok,” Emma said, gathering the now crying woman into her arms. “I’m not thinking anything like that. I know you’re going to be amazing in bed regardless of your inexperience because you know and understand me. That’s all sex is: two people working together to achieve one another’s pleasure. And I also know that I’m not going to hate your body. You’re fucking gorgeous, Regina, and you seriously turn me on. I know I haven’t seen you naked yet but I also know I’m going to be even more attracted to you when I do. I don’t want to take you for a test drive, I promise.”

“But you don’t want us to move in together before we have sex?” Regina frowned, wiping her eyes. If Emma wasn’t doubting they would have good sex when the act finally occurred, what was she so hesitant about?

Emma quirked her lips, trying to work out how to say what she was thinking without hurting Regina. “Look,” she began. “I said I will wait for you and I will. As long as you need. But I can’t deny I am intensely attracted to you. I can’t deny that I want you. It takes all of my self control every time we kiss not to push things any further than I know you’re comfortable with. And that’s ok. I can deal with that … for a few days at a time. But if we were living together? Regina, it would be so hard to see you every day, to kiss you every day, and not be able to be even more intimate with you. I know I said sex isn’t the most important part of the relationship but I am so drawn to you, so sexually attracted to you, that it would be tantamount to torture to be with you every day without having regular sex.”

“Torture?” Regina asked. “I’m torturing you?”

“In a good way,” Emma said quickly. “I mean, it’s not your fault I find you completely irresistible.”

“So irresistible that it would physically pain you to live in the same house as me without sex?”

“Is there a female equivalent to blue balls?” Emma chuckled. “I guess it would be that.”

“But if we had sex -?”

“No,” Emma interrupted. “Regina, I’m not saying that. This isn’t some ultimatum. ‘Have sex with me or else I won’t move in with you’. I’m just being honest about how I feel. We’ve always been honest with each other. I love you, Regina. I really, really love you. And I would love to live with you one day. When you’re ready and when I’m ready.”

“When I’m ready for sex, you mean?”

Emma sighed. “I just don’t think we’re there yet,” the blonde said. “I hope we get there. I hope we live together one day. Soon, even. But just not … now.”

Regina slumped back against the bench and closed her eyes. The sun glowed through her eyelids and she scrunched them tighter, wanting to shut out the world. Had she screwed everything up? Had she scared Emma off with talk of living together? The blonde was right. They had only known each other a few months and their relationship hadn’t progressed past kissing and the occasional dry humping. It was like they were teenagers, or how Regina supposed teenagers conducted relationships. But this was, after all, her first relationship. She didn’t know how things worked. She had no experience in terms of how fast or slow things should be moving. Clearly. She just hoped Emma would forgive her. The press of soft lips on her cheek caused her eyes to flutter open again.

“I love you,” Emma whispered, her lips capturing the tender flesh of Regina’s earlobe.

Regina turned to face Emma and kissed her softly, a shudder of relief washing over her as she felt Emma respond at once. At least they still wanted each other. Which, Regina supposed, was exactly what Emma’s point was. She wanted Regina too much. And until Regina wanted Emma in the same way, perhaps it was best for them to spend most of their nights apart, no matter how much it pained them.

* * *

The rest of the day saw the two women enjoying the summer sunshine in the garden of the manor house. Between feeding the chickens, meandering through the now perfectly manicured rose gardens and reading their books in the shade of a leafy oak tree, they wiled away the hours talking and getting to know one another even better. They remained outside until the sun began to set, staining the sky a vivid orange, streaks of fiery red shot through the clouds.

When Emma suggested the two of them made dinner together, they made their way into the cool house and began to work preparing the vegetables and some cold cuts of meat as they sipped perfectly chilled white wine. Emma knew their day had been incredibly domestic, a clichéd snapshot of a married couple. She didn’t voice any of that to Regina, however. She also didn’t tell Regina that when the brunette had been stretched out beneath the oak tree, her arms above her head and a sliver of tanned skin of her stomach visible that the blonde had to turn away, biting her lip to stop herself climbing on top of the dozing woman. She knew their physical relationship had progressed, was grateful at how comfortable Regina was with her touch. Cora had even remarked on her daughter’s acceptance of Emma’s physical proximity when she was last in Chicago. She knew she was lucky. But that didn’t stop the ache between her thighs when she looked at her beautiful girlfriend, wanting more.

So when Regina curled into Emma’s side later that evening, her lips placing soft, sucking kisses along the line of the blonde’s collarbone, she knew she was going to need to redouble her self-control. Regina’s mouth travelled up her slender neck, the tip of her tongue licking a delicate line up the curve of her jaw until their mouths met once more. Emma turned into the kiss, her arms snaking around Regina’s back and pulling her closer. But the brunette pulled back, laying herself down on the couch and reaching one hand towards Emma.

“Regina, we don’t have to -.”

“I’m not suggesting we have sex,” the brunette interrupted. “I’m not doing this because of our conversation this morning. But I want to do this. Again. You’ve lain on top of me before, remember?”

Oh, Emma remembered alright. The feel of the brunette between her thighs that Sunday afternoon, her core pressed hotly against Regina’s erection had plagued Emma’s mind for the past two weeks. Hesitantly, Emma shifted herself onto her knees. Regina parted her thighs, her legs falling invitingly open. Swallowing, Emma dragged her eyes away from Regina’s bulging crotch and met the smiling, encouraging face above. With a final nod of understanding, she lowered herself until she was resting on her elbows, her body pressed fully against Regina’s. She couldn’t help the whimper which escaped as she felt Regina’s cock twitching through the brunette’s cotton shorts and her own thin t-shirt.

It was Regina who restarted the kiss, pulling Emma’s tense face down towards her, trying to reassure the aroused blonde that she was more than ok with Emma taking pleasure from their position. She wanted Emma to feel good. Of course she did. In fact … sliding her hand down Emma’s back, she found the hem of the t-shirt and lifted it up slightly.

“What are you doing?” Emma asked, pulling away in shock as she felt Regina’s fingers dip beneath the waistband of her denim shorts.

“Emma, relax,” Regina said. “I’m not doing anything I don’t want to do. You’re not the only one seriously turned on right now.”

Emma took a deep breath and nodded. She kissed Regina’s lips again, slower this time, as the brunette’s hand slid down beneath her shorts, beneath her underwear and over the smooth skin of her ass. Her core clenched, her sex desperate for the fingers now mere inches away. She moaned as Regina gently palmed her ass, squeezing the toned flesh and drawing their pelvises closer together.

“Regina,” Emma mumbled against the plump lips, her heart pounding against her ribcage.

“Emma,” the brunette whispered back.

She rocked her hips against Regina’s, feeling the hardness of the woman’s cock press invitingly back, the hand on her ass squeezing at the movement. She rocked again, Regina’s hand encouraging her rhythm. Their kiss became more heated, Emma’s tongue swiping deep inside Regina’s mouth, her hands gripping her head as they all but devoured each other. Emma pressed harder, feeling her clit rub perfectly on the inside seam of her shorts, Regina’s erection the other side of the material.

“Fuck,” she exclaimed through gritted teeth as she pulled away from Regina’s mouth, her hips still gyrating, the brunette’s hand still on her ass. She rocked faster, looking intently down into Regina’s eyes, her beautiful, big, sultry brown eyes and shuddered through her orgasm, a flood of wetness coating her underwear as she reached her peak.

Open-mouthed, Regina stared up at the woman above her. The woman she loved. The woman who had just achieved pleasure using her body, with her help. Her penis was painfully hard, straining at her shorts and begging for someone, anyone to touch it. No, not anyone. Emma.

“That was … wow,” Regina murmured, sliding her hand from inside Emma’s shorts and cupping the red face above her. “You’re breathtaking.”

“So are you,” Emma said, leaning back down on her elbows and kissing Regina’s lips. “Was that … ok?”

Regina rolled her eyes at the blonde’s nervousness. “That,” Regina said, kissing Emma again, “was the sexiest thing I have ever seen. I have never been so turned on in my life, Emma.”

“I can feel that,” Emma teased, rocking her hips against the still hard penis.

“Do you want to do something about it?”

Emma’s eyebrows shot upwards. “What?”

“You’re not the only one who wants release, Emma,” Regina said coyly. “And no, this has nothing to do with our conversation this morning. I know I’m not ready for … full sex, but right now, all I want is to feel you touch me. Some way. Any way.”

“Are you sure?” Emma asked, breath caught in her throat.

“I’m sure,” Regina nodded. “But, can we take it slow?”

“As slow as you like,” Emma promised. “And I have a condition too.”

“Name it,” Regina said.

“We go to bed,” the blonde said simply. “I want this to be special. Even if we’re not having sex, you deserve more than a fumbled hand job on the couch.”

“Fumbled?”

The tips of Emma’s ears pinked. “I’ve never been much good at hand jobs,” she admitted. “Oral sex I’ve got down to a fine art but never perfected the hand movement.”

“Oral?” Regina’s heart pounded. Her penis hardened impossibly further as her eyes darted to the moist pink lips above her.

“I’m not saying or suggesting anything,” Emma said, reluctantly climbing off Regina and helping the brunette sit up. “This is your night.”

“It’s our night,” Regina amended. “We’re in this together, Emma.”

* * *

The bedside light cast a soft yellow glow over the room. It looked a little fuller, more lived in, than the last time Regina had been inside. The vanity had more bottles on it and judging by the ajar closet door, Emma had been clothes shopping too. The blonde stood back to let Regina enter first, both women nervous and unsure exactly what was about to happen. Regina perched on the end of the bed whilst Emma muttered something about going to the bathroom. Once the door had clicked shut, Regina let out a shuddering breath.

She wanted this. Goodness knows she wanted Emma. Her whole body was vibrating with need and desire when it came to the beautiful blonde. But that didn’t mean she was apprehensive. Aside from her doctor and her mother, Emma was going to be the first person to see her penis in her life. She knew Emma had seen penises before, plenty of them. But she’d never seen a woman with a penis. She’d never seen a body with breasts, a curvy waist, other feminine features … an a penis. What if she couldn’t handle it. Regardless of Emma’s assurances, Regina still hated her own body and couldn’t begin to imagine how anyone else could find it attractive. The sound of the toilet flushing jolted her back to the room and she flicked her eyes to the opening bathroom door.

“Any second thoughts?” Emma asked, coming to sit down besides Regina.

“I’m nervous,” she admitted.

“If you’re not ready -.”

“No, it’s not that,” Regina said. “I want you. I just want you to want me too. Once you see me naked, I mean.”

Emma nodded her understanding, recognising the brunette’s own body insecurities.

“Do you want me to go first?” Emma suggested.

“Go first?”

Emma nodded and in one fluid movement pulled her t-shirt over her head, tossing it to one side. Regina gasped, staring at the bra-clad breasts she had never seen before. Or touched, she realised. Her hand drifted up of its own accord, cupping one and squeezing tenderly. Emma didn’t say anything, merely smiled when wide eyes met her own.

“You go first,” Regina nodded dropping her hand.

Emma stood from the bed, kissed Regina and moved to stand directly in front of the brunette. She didn’t think a strip-tease was strictly necessary but she wanted to do more than just undress in preparation for the first time Regina had seen another human body naked, in a sexual way, at least.

Her fingers deftly unclasped the button on her shorts and she slid down the zip, the noise of the metal teeth separating magnified in the otherwise silent room. Regina’s eyes fell to the triangle of blue lace which appeared and then got larger as Emma began to wiggle and push her shorts down her legs. When they dropped to the floor, she kicked them out of the way, standing in just her underwear in front of Regina for the first time.

“Ok?” Emma asked.

Regina nodded, unable to speak. She looked up into Emma’s kindly face and felt her heart swell with love. And her penis swell with arousal. Emma stepped forwards, kissed her once more, before reaching behind her back and unclasping her bra. She held the cups in place for a moment and then let the material fall away. Regina’s eyes flitted from one breast to the right, taking in the pale mounds, each capped with a pink nipple, hardening both at the exposure to air and the intense gaze.

Thumbs hooked into the waistband of the last remaining item of clothing. Regina’s eyes flicked up to Emma’s earnest green ones before back to the blue lace. Slowly, delicately, Emma pushed her underwear down, exposing the last of her covered flesh to the unabashed stare of the brunette on the bed. Both women ignored the moment the lace hit the floor, too intent on other things. Regina was enraptured by the neat little thatch of blonde hair, beneath which she could just see the folds of Emma’s core. The blonde, on the other hand, was watching Regina’s face, glazed over with what could only be described as unadulterated lust.

“You’re perfect,” Regina breathed out at last, reaching for Emma and encouraging the blonde to step back towards the bed.

“Nobody’s perfect,” Emma said, standing right in front of Regina and bending down to kiss her.

Warm hands landed on her bare sides, Regina’s skin smooth against her own. The kiss deepened, Emma’s core already twitching again. She pulled back reluctantly and sat down besides Regina. Brown eyes skated over her body once more. Emma should have felt exposed, vulnerable. But with only venerated arousal in Regina’s eyes, she had never felt sexier and more wanted in her life. She just hoped Regina would feel the same way.

“My turn,” Regina said suddenly, standing up from the bed.

“Do you want me to help?” Emma asked.

Regina shook her head as she turned around. “Is it ok if I do this at my own pace?”

“Honey, you can do whatever you want,” Emma said vehemently.

Regina smiled and nodded her thanks. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. When she open them, she saw Emma looking concerned. “I’m ok,” she assured. “Just nervous.” Emma went to speak, went to tell Regina she didn’t need to do it but before the words could come out, Regina had pulled her blouse over her head and whatever Emma had been about to say died in her throat.

Regina’s body was tanned, toned, and looked smooth as silk. Emma’s fingers itched to touch it. Her breasts, bigger than Emma’s, were encased in a satin bra and, after a moment, Regina reached to unclasp it. Without breaking eye contact with Emma, the brunette pulled her bra away, letting her breasts hang freely. Subconsciously, Emma licked her lips. The dusky, dark nipples begged to be kissed, to be suckled, to be nibbled. Regina hesitated before stepping towards the blonde, wanting to delay the moment when her shorts would be removed. Emma either understood that or was too enraptured to realise she was playing perfectly into Regina’s hands when she cupped both of Regina’s breasts, tenderly, delicately.

A gasp, from which woman, neither knew, as Emma’s warm hands covered Regina’s breasts for the first time. She was gentle, slow, reverent, as she let her thumb graze the swell of each breast, feeling the stiffening nipple against the palm of her hand. Regina’s core throbbed. Emma’s touch was settling her entire body on fire. In a good way. She knew she was ready for more. She stepped back.

Eyes locked once more, Regina unbuttoned her shorts and in one fluid movement, pushed them down. Stood in just her tight, white, boxers, she had expected to feel embarrassed, exposed. But the way she felt when Emma’s hungry gaze raked over her body was neither of those things. She felt … wanted. And she knew in that moment that Emma really, truly wanted her Not that she had doubted the blonde’s sincere words before but she had found them hard to believe. The wanton look in those green eyes in the soft light of the bedside lamp however, told Regina everything needed to know.

“You can do the honours,” she said, stepping back towards Emma.

“Are you sure?” Emma asked, her voice hoarse as she looked from the bulging crotch right in front of her up to Regina’s face.

“I’m sure,” Regina nodded.

Emma reached up and pulled Regina’s mouth against her own, kissing her hard and desperate for a few seconds before releasing her. When the brunette had straightened, Emma’s hands landed gently on her waist, stroking the smooth skin. She slipped lower, her pinky fingers brushing against the elastic waistband of the boxers. They moved over it, her fingers bumping over that minute ridge of material until at last her thumbs rested against it, her fingers splayed across Regina’s hips. Hesitating, Emma leaned forwards and placed a soft kiss to the flat plane of Regina’s stomach before pull back. Slowly, holding her breath, Emma pulled the last remaining piece of clothing from Regina’s body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *evil laugh* I love you all. Write your angry comments in the box below.


	18. Regina's First Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: oh guys I know that was mean but your frustrated reviews were so worth it! For me. Yes, I’m really that evil! But not so evil that I haven’t written you over 3,000 words of fluffy, SwanQueen sexy times. I guess I should put up a warning here that Regina does have a penis and therefore there will be graphic description of … well, a penis, involved in sexy times.

She had been sixteen when she lost her virginity, crammed into the back seat of August’s car, a messy, confused, quick encounter. She didn’t regret it, though. August was a friend and she liked him. Over the next few months they slept together regularly, what was between them never amounting to anything more than what it was: sex. And then she’d started dating other guys. Whenever she was in a relationship, her trysts with August would stop, recommencing when she was single again and vice versa for him. It worked perfectly for them. 

As she’d gotten older, Emma had learned to love sex. She enjoyed the physical intimacy, the raw animalistic nature, the feeling of power she got when she was sat astride her lover, their pulsing members buried in her wet core. There had been women too. Lily had been the only serious one but occasional flings and one night stands had occurred with beautiful women who had walked into The Rabbit Hole on a Saturday night. It was different with women, but Emma got pleasure from both equally. She loved to share the experience with either gender, working one another to their peak and cresting in each other’s arms.

So as she gazed up at Regina’s naked body for the first time, Emma knew exactly what she wanted to do to the beautiful brunette. As the boxers fell to the floor, Emma’s eyes were transfixed on the hard penis now before her. It was long and slender and perfectly straight. At the base was a little cluster of black curls, cropped close to Regina’s skin. Below she could see the scrotum, smaller than most she had experienced. Hormone tablets, she supposed. Not that it bothered her. She had never been a fan of testicles. When her eyes finally slid up to Regina’s face, she realised the brunette’s eyes were screwed shut, her forehead creased.

“Regina,” Emma whispered.

The eyes opened slowly, cautiously, as if they were afraid as to what they might see. When brown met green, Emma smiled.

“You’re beautiful,” the blonde said quietly. “Really, really beautiful, Regina.”

The brunette looked down her own body with a frown on her face. She didn’t think she was beautiful. Her breasts, she conceded, were large and rounded, her dark nipples small and taut. Her stomach too was perfectly toned, thanks to the sit-ups she did most mornings. But below her waist her eyes found the one part of her body she would never be able to accept. Her penis was still erect, straining towards Emma now it was free from the boxers. The skin, darker towards the base and pinker near the tip, was soft and smooth and oh, so sensitive. Without conscious thought, she reached down and covered herself with both hands.

“Hey,” Emma said, her own hands resting on Regina’s hips once more. “Don’t.”

Regina took a deep breath before moving her hands away, exposing herself again. Emma smiled reassuringly again and stood up from the bed. With space still between their bodies, Emma leaned forwards and kissed Regina, a slow, tender promise of her continued love. Regina sighed into the contact, her heart thundering in her chest at the realisation of what might be about to happen now Emma really hadn’t rejected her. It was Emma who stepped closer, wrapping her arms around Regina’s body. She hesitated, however, waiting for Regina to be the one to move forwards until both women’s bodies were pressed against one another, their mouths still melded together. 

Emma couldn’t stop the whimper which escaped her as Regina’s penis, the flesh hot and hard, pushed against her thigh. Regina gasped too, the sensation of Emma’s skin against her member entirely new and intensely erotic. Their breasts were pushed together as well, the soft flesh moving slightly as their kiss heated up.

“Is everything ok so far?” Emma asked as she broke the kiss, looking intently into Regina’s eyes and searching for any misgivings.

“Yes,” Regina breathed out. “I’m … I’m ok.”

“Sure?” 

Regina nodded and with that, Emma stepped away. She moved back to the bed, climbed onto it and lay down on top of the covers. Regina hesitated before following, laying on what seemed to have become her side of the bed and, mirroring Emma’s position, rolling onto her side. Emma shuffled closer, resuming their kiss and pressing their bodies together once more. Regina began to relax slowly, enjoying the feel of Emma’s soft, smooth body against her own. Her hand came to rest on the dip of Emma’s waist, stroking tenderly. She could feel Emma’s skin, hot beneath her touch. Both their bodies were burning, she realised, although whether that was because of the warm summer night or their current situation, she wasn’t sure. 

When Emma’s mouth trailed a line of kisses down her neck, Regina rolled onto her back, giving the blonde unfettered access to her skin. Propped on her elbow, Emma peppered the brunette’s collarbone with light, butterfly kisses, a hand resting on Regina’s shoulder. Slowly, giving the older woman ample time to pull away, she moved her hand lower until her pinky finger grazed Regina’s nipple. The brunette jerked. Emma stopped at once, moving her mouth away and opening it to ask if Regina was ok.

“I’m fine,” the younger woman was assured before her question was even worded. “I’m fine. Keep going, please.”

Emma nodded her understanding and resumed her kisses as her hand slid down to cup the generous globe. She squeezed, feeling the hard nipple against her palm and then moving her fingers to pinch it gently. Regina moaned, her back arching slightly. Emma smirked against the delicate skin of Regina’s neck, left one final kiss there and made her way down Regina’s chest until her mouth was hovering over the neglected nipple. Glancing up at the brunette, Emma saw a nod of consent. 

The hot mouth sealed gently around the tight nipple, the tongue laying flat against the brown skin. Regina cried out in delight, her hands flying to Emma’s head and holding her close. The blonde sucked softly, using the tip of her tongue to wiggle and tease over the hard nerve bundle. Fingernails dug into her scalp, a keening cry of pleasure escaping the brunette once more. Emma’s fingers tweaked the other nipple before massaging the entire breast. 

“Emma,” Regina gasped, her whole body vibrating.

The blonde looked up at once, gazing at the flushed cheeks of the older woman and trying to work out what was wrong.

“Are you ok?”

“Yes,” Regina said at once. “That felt amazing. Too amazing.”

Eyebrows raised, Emma turned to look at the straining erection now lying against Regina’s stomach. A glistening bead of pre-cum bulged at the tip and as Emma watched, it twitched, the veins along its length prominent. She could tell Regina was close. Just from stimulation to her breasts, which were obviously very sensitive, the brunette was minutes, if not seconds, away from release. And Emma was sure as hell going to make sure it was the best first orgasm ever.

“If you’re not comfortable, tell me and I’ll stop at once,” Emma said, getting onto her knees and moving herself until she was between Regina’s now parted thighs. 

Regina nodded her understanding, eyes black with arousal as she watched the blonde kneel before her, body hunched over until her mouth was mere inches from Regina’s penis. She gripped the bedsheets, afraid she was going to explode and just the lightest of touches. But Emma didn’t move her hands to her erection yet. Instead, she lay them on the flat pelvic bone on either side, stroking the soft skin. Her penis still twitched, the proximity almost too much. Emma seemed to be considering her options, her head angled to one side as if she was deciding where to begin.

Her index finger brushed over the tip, gathering the pre-cum and smearing it gently over the pink skin. Regina mewled, her testicles clenching. Emma drew small circles over the end, slick and smooth with Regina’s essence. Regina bucked into the contact, her sensitive skin feeling like it was on fire in such a way that she both wanted more and needed to pull away. She couldn’t do the latter however, not when Emma’s mouth lowered. Once again, green met brown, searching for the nod. When it was received, Emma’s parted lips slid gently onto Regina’s penis. 

If Emma had had neighbours, she had no doubt they would have woken as Regina screamed in delight. The blonde kept her eyes open, fixed on the face above her, contorted in pleasure, as her mouth moved further down, taking in more of Regina’s length. She could taste the salty pre-come on her tongue and swirled herself around the hardness now pressing against the back of her throat. Although Regina’s penis wasn’t particularly thick, she was still a couple of inches away from taking it all into her mouth. She pushed a little further, ignoring the gagging reflex she had learnt to suppress years before. 

Hands tangled in her hair once more, Regina’s cries of pleasure still filling the room. Emma pulled back slightly, ensuring her lips stayed tight around the hard dick in her mouth. Without releasing the head, she pushed back down, beginning a steady rhythm as she sucked, tongued, and pumped Regina with her mouth. She knew it wouldn’t take long. She knew Regina wouldn’t be able to last. But she didn’t mind. All she cared about was Regina’s pleasure.

“Emma!” came the startled gasp. “I think I’m -.”

“It’s ok,” Emma mumbled, her mouth still full of Regina. She sucked a little harder, using her tongue to ring circles around the tip of the penis. She could feel the ejaculation approach, the veins and muscles contracting as they prepared for release. She took Regina deeper just as the brunette thrust up herself, an involuntary movement as her body became overwhelmed with pressure.

Hot spurts shot into Emma’s mouth, burning her throat slightly as she swallowed the tangy liquid. She kept sucking and pumping, her tongue running over the tip as more and more come filled her mouth. She gulped down as much as she could, the wet vacuum around Regina’s penis drawing even more pleasure from the shuddering brunette. Some dribbled from her lips however, a pearly stream of Regina’s essence. Emma felt sure Regina had just produced more cum than anyone else she had ever been with, years of pent-up orgasms finally released. When the penis in her mouth began to soften and Regina’s cries reduced to whimpers, Emma pulled away. Placing a final, tender kiss to the sticky tip, she licked up the mess from Regina’s pubic area and then her own lips before she crawled back up the bed to lie beside her spend lover.

Regina’s eyes were closed, her chest rising and falling erratically. There was sweat on her brow and her cheeks were burning with heat. Emma’s lips pressed lightly to her forehead as the blonde settled against the pillow, waiting. Eventually, brown eyes blinked blearily open.

“Emma?”

“Yeah,” the blonde nodded. “Hey.”

“You … I mean, I … we … was that -?”

Emma smiled lovingly at the sex-dazed woman beside her. She leaned in and kissed her mouth softly. 

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “That was oral sex. Are you ok?”

“Ok?”

“How do you feel?” Emma reworded.

“Confused,” Regina admitted. “And exhausted.”

“Confused in a good way or a bad way?” Emma frowned.

“Good, I think,” Regina said. “I mean, I’ve never experienced anything like that before.”

“An orgasm?”

Regina rolled onto her side and snuggled herself against Emma, needing to feel the blonde close to her. She always needed to feel Emma, she realised.

“No, I’ve had orgasms before,” Regina said. “But they’ve been different. Smaller, I suppose. I mean, just now, is that normal? It seemed to go on forever.”

Emma smiled. “It’s not exactly a surprise that your first orgasm with another person was powerful. And yes, you did come harder and for longer than most people in my experience but, believe me, that’s a good thing.”

“Where did it go?” Regina asked, glancing down her body.

“Where did what go?” Emma frowned, looking down herself to where Regina’s soft cock was pressed between their bodies.

“The come,” Regina said.

“I swallowed it,” Emma said simply.

“You did?” Regina said, a look of horror on her face. 

“Well what else was I supposed to do with it?” Emma chuckled. “Honey, I wanted to. If I hadn’t I would have moved away before you had finished. It wasn’t exactly a surprise, although I’ll admit I wasn’t quite able to swallow it all down the first time.”

“That’s why you licked me?”

Emma nodded.

“What does it taste like?”

Emma shrugged. “It’s kinda salty. Hot. A bit tart, I suppose.”

“Sounds unpleasant,” Regina said, her nose wrinkled in disgust.

“It was very definitely not unpleasant,” Emma replied. “Do you have any idea how wet I got when I felt you coming in my mouth.”

Regina never did quite know what made her do it. Whether it was instinct or a desire she hadn’t acknowledged in that moment or just simple curiosity. All she and Emma knew was that suddenly the brunette’s hand was cupping Emma’s core, her fingers pressed against her entrance.

“Fuck!” Emma cried out, her hips bucking into the contact. 

Regina went to move her hand away in alarm at the reaction but the blonde’s hand grasped her retreating wrist, holding her in place. Wide brown eyes looked into the green pupils, almost eclipsed by the blackness and she could see and feel in that moment just how desperate for release Emma was. She nodded her head and the grip on her wrist lessened.

Her fingers moved back, feeling properly for the first time the slick folds of Emma’s core. It was hot. Hotter that she expected. The skin almost on fire. And wet. Sticky. Slippery. She moved her fingers slowly, sliding backwards and forwards easily across the skin. She could feel Emma’s entrance as she stroked, the wetness even thicker there. She curled the tip of one finger, probing inside just a little before pulling back. Emma moaned in delight, her hips canting forwards.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Regina breathed out. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Emma gasped. “It’s you. It all feels amazing.”

Regina kissed the blonde at that, grateful and relieved that she was able to pleasure the young, experienced woman. But she wanted to do more than that. She wanted to make Emma feel amazing because of her skills, not just because of the blonde’s feelings for her.

“Can you help me find your clitoris?”

Emma’s eyes widened at the question, and perhaps the fact that she didn’t think anyone had ever said the full, biological term for that body part in bed … ever. She nodded however and snaked her hand down between their bodies until her fingers rested atop Regina’s. Guiding the brunette towards the front of her core, she helped Regina part her folds, searching out that small bundle of nerves which gave such pleasure. She felt Regina’s fingers bump into it and cried out, stilling both their hands.

“Here?” Regina asked, eyes locked on Emma’s.

“Here,” Emma nodded. “Can you feel it?”

She removed her hand and allowed the brunette to rub gently over the area. Regina was frowning in concentration, trying to decipher exactly what was beneath her fingertips. It didn’t take her long to identify the hardness which made Emma’s hips buck in pleasure. She pressed harder, swallowing Emma’s keening moan in a kiss as she began to rub circles over and over her clit. The kiss became messy, Emma’s teeth clashing against Regina’s as she mewled and gasped with pleasure. She had always been incredibly sensitive when it came a lover rubbing her clit and with Regina’s mouth and body pressed against her own, her heart swelling with endless love for the woman in her arms and the faint taste of Regina’s come still lingering on her tongue, it didn’t take long for Emma to explode. 

The scream was muffled in their kiss as Emma’s body vibrated with pleasure, her muscles shuddering and jolting as the powerful orgasm ripped through her. Soon, she jerked herself away from Regina’s fingers, too sensitive for anything more but then immediately rolled herself on top of the brunette, kissing her hard as she felt tears stream down her face. It took Regina a moment to realise Emma was crying and when she did she rolled them both over so she was on top and sat up, not even noticing that her once more hard penis was pressed against the wetness of Emma’s inner thigh.

“Why are you crying?” she asked, wiping away the tears from the beautiful face.

“They’re happy tears,” Emma assured her. “Overwhelmed tears, perhaps.”

“Overwhelmed?”

Emma nodded and sat up too, Regina cradled in the crook of her now-folded legs. The brunette wrapped her own legs around Emma’s back and looped her arms over her shoulders.

“Regina, I love you,” Emma began. “And I know I said I would wait for you for as long as you needed for us to become intimate. But I also knew that I desperately, desperately wanted you. I would have waited, of course. But I didn’t want to. I really, really didn’t want to. I wanted and needed you. Your touch, your body, you. I just … I can’t believe you were ready so soon. I thought it was going to take months, possibly not until after the operation, for you to feel comfortable with me. I’m just so happy you trusted me enough already.”

Regina smiled and kissed a falling tear from Emma’s cheek.

“Emma, I love you too,” Regina replied. “And to be honest with you I’ve felt comfortable with you since day one. I know I haven’t had much experience with relationships but I get the feeling we’re more open and honest with each other than most couples. I’m not usually like that. I don’t usually share my feelings or thoughts so readily and it takes me a long time to trust people. But I trust you. I want you to know everything about me, Emma, and I want to know everything about you too. All my life the concept of sex has been this great big, scary, unknown thing which I didn’t think I would ever be ready for. But when I met you, suddenly I wanted to be ready, I was becoming ready. I didn’t think it would necessarily happen this weekend but I knew I wanted it. I knew I wanted you.”

Emma’s arms tightened around Regina’s back, their bodies pressed impossibly closer as they kissed once more. Eventually the position became awkward and they lay back down on the bed, their mouths never breaking. Hours later, long after they had slid beneath the covers, they eventually fell asleep, exhausted and blissful, in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: don’t be shy - feedback on this would be great as it’s the first sex scene with a penis in I’ve ever written. Although I should say at this point that I do have a boyfriend so it’s not exactly something I haven’t experienced.


	19. Naked And Honest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: thanks for all the reviews - you guys are epic!

They woke slowly on Saturday morning, entangled in each other and Emma’s sheets. Regina’s eyes cracked open as a soft kiss landed on her cheek. She smiled sleepily at the blonde before her, leaning in and capturing the retreating lips with her own. Emma sighed in contentment and snuggled herself closer, their naked bodies pressed together. It was warm already, the summer air sticky and muggy. But neither woman cared.

It was after ten when they finally dragged themselves from the bed, making their way together into the large shower cubicle in Emma’s ensuite bathroom. Water cascaded over the pair, each gently soaping the other as they relished in the experience of being naked together. Regina was surprised by how comfortable she already felt, how unabashedly she watched as Emma’s hands cupped her sudsy breasts before sliding down to her waist. She bit her lip as Emma sank to her knees, her mouth moving to envelop her stiff member.

It wasn’t until the water began to run cool that they stepped into the steam-filled room, wrapping themselves in towels and making their way back to the bedroom. Once dressed, the two headed downstairs and made coffee and breakfast.

“I usually meet Ruby on Saturday mornings,” Emma said as she took a bite of a slice of toast, “but this is better.”

“You could still have met her,” Regina said. “We could have gone together. I would have liked to have seen Ruby again.”

“I preferred spending the time in bed with you,” Emma shrugged. “Naked. I texted Ruby to tell her we weren’t going to make it.”

“You told Ruby we were naked in bed and that’s why we bailed on brunch?” Regina asked, eyebrows raised. She might have been comfortable with how their relationship had developed but she wasn’t sure how she yet felt about Emma’s best friend knowing.

“No,” Emma assured her. “I just told her we wanted to make the most of the short time we have together.”

“Emma, I don’t want to keep you from your friends,” Regina said. “Next time I’m down, can we go?”

“Of course,” Emma smiled. “And you’re not keeping me anywhere I don’t want to be. Believe me, Regina. I would have had to be physically forced out of that bed and away from you this morning.”

Regina chuckled. It was true; it had been she who had eventually suggested they get up and shower. It had been Emma who had mentioned how showering needn’t be a solo activity.

“What’s the plan for today?” Regina asked once the two of them had finished their breakfast and were both on their second cup of coffee.

“Nothing at all,” Emma replied. “In fact, we could just go back to bed.” Regina swallowed thickly and turned away. Frowning, Emma reached for the brunette and gently tilted her chin so their eyes locked once more. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

“Is that what our relationship is about now? Sex?” Regina said quickly. “I mean, not sex. I know we haven’t done … that. But is that all you want us to do now?”

Emma was taken aback. She hadn’t thought Regina would take offence at such an offhand comment, especially since it seemed so important to the brunette that the attraction between the two of them remained after Emma had seen her naked. She had wanted to reassure Regina, not insult her.

“No!” Emma exclaimed. “Of course not. I love you for who you are, not what we do in bed. I’d be more than happy to spend the day far, far away from my bedroom. Last night was amazing but that doesn’t mean I don’t want anything else from you. You’re funny and intelligent and I love talking to you. I would never substitute the chance to spend time with you chatting and getting to know one another for sex.”

Regina bit her lip. “Really?”

“Really,” Emma promised.

The brunette nodded her acceptance of the answer and sighed. Emma frowned at the sound, knowing there was something her girlfriend wanted to say. They were always honest with each other so she sat, waiting, until Regina finally spoke.

“Last night was really ok?”

There it was: the self-doubt. Emma reached for Regina’s fidgeting fingers and entwined them with her own.

“Last night,” she said, slowly and deliberately, “was the best night of my life. Being with you was incredible, Regina. More amazing than I ever dreamed it would be. And yes, I’ve had dreams involving you and me in bed. I know you were nervous and I know you think you have a lot to learn but believe me you are one of the best lovers I’ve ever had.”

Regina scoffed at the remark. “How can you say that?” she asked. “I only used my fingers to … touch you.”

“And you made me come faster than anyone else who’s ever done that,” Emma replied. “I usually pride myself on being able to last a long time but yesterday I couldn’t even control myself for a minute. The only reason I lasted longer this morning was because I was half asleep when you started.” At that she shot a sly smile at her girlfriend, remembering the way Regina’s curious, questing fingers had woken her mid-morning. “It may have only been your first and second time doing it, Regina, but judging by that you are going to be world-class soon enough.”

“A world-class fingerer?” Regina asked.

Emma burst out laughing at the phrasing. “If such a competition exists, and I hope to God it doesn’t, then yes, I’m sure you would take gold.”

Regina rolled her eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re adorable,” Emma countered, pecking Regina quickly on the cheek. “Come on, let’s go out.”

“Where?”

“Somewhere without a bed,” Emma shrugged.

* * *

They ended up taking Emma’s new car out to Cleveland, the nearest large city to Storybrooke. They meandered through Edgewater Park hand in hand, sipping yet more coffee from takeout cups as they went. Emma ignored the few second-glances the pair of them received but she felt Regina tense every time she noticed how people were taking in the obvious fact that the two women were together.

“Ignore it,” Emma murmured into her ear when Regina’s eyes were lingering on a whispering group of mothers with buggies near the playground.

Regina tried to. She turned back to Emma and listened to the blonde who continued chatting away about her trip to Cleveland for her twenty-first birthday. She, Ruby, and August had by all accounts wreaked havoc on the city and by the time they had stumbled back to their hotel room the sun was rising. Regina smiled and laughed along, all the while remembering the torment of the club she had been dragged to on her twenty-first birthday. She wondered how different that day would have been if she’d known Emma. But she dismissed the thought, knowing she hadn’t been ready for a relationship back then and wouldn’t have been brave enough to seize the moment as she had with Emma just a few months before.

They ate a late lunch sat by the water’s edge, Emma pointing out the birds which flew across the surface. Regina grinned each time at the way the blonde’s face lit up with excitement at a new spot. She had never been passionate about anything as much as Emma clearly was about birdlife. She made a mental note to read up a little on a few local species in the hope of impressing her girlfriend the next time they went out for a walk.

* * *

“Can we go to The Rabbit Hole tonight?” Regina asked as Emma swung the SUV onto the freeway and began to head out of the city later that afternoon.

“You want to go?”

“Yeah,” Regina. “It would be nice to see Ruby again. And August.”

“It would be nice to see August?” Emma said, shooting a sideways look at the brunette.

“He’s just a friend now, I know that,” Regina said. She knew she was going to have to accept the friendship between Emma and August and had already resolved herself to the fact that repeated exposure to the man who had had casual sex with her girlfriend for ten years was the only way to do that.

“Ok,” Emma nodded. “But I’m cooking you dinner first.”

“Can I help?”

“Nope!” Emma grinned. “I want this to be my treat.”

Regina pouted. “But I let you help me make that lasagne. What am I supposed to do? Watch TV on my own whilst you work?”

“You can sit in the kitchen and chat to me and drink wine,” Emma suggested. “Stop complaining, Gina, I’m being romantic.”

“Gina?”

Emma blushed. “Sorry,” she stammered. “I mean, your Ma and Zelena and the kids called you that. I … I liked the sound of it.”

Regina could still here the nickname in the blonde’s voice, echoing around her head. No one but her family had ever called her Gina, not even Kathryn. She wasn’t sure why but it felt … intimate somehow. Perhaps it was because Regina wasn’t her birth name and the shortening of her own chosen name held some deeper meaning to a normal nickname.

“It’s ok,” she said, reaching over and wrapping her fingers over Emma’s hand which was gripping the steering wheel, the knuckles white. “I like the sound of it too.”

Emma let out an audible sigh of relief and grinned sideways at the brunette. The two of them settled back in their seats as the impromptu road trip continued, speeding them back towards Storybrooke.

* * *

“Gina, can you please grab that pan off the stove?” Emma asked as she sucked her sore finger and crouched down in front of the oven.

“I thought I wasn’t allowed to help,” Regina smirked at her girlfriend as she nevertheless moved to take the pot which was bubbling over away from the heat and turning the stove ring off.

“I’m not great at time management, ok?” Emma scowled, probing the joint of beef with a temperature gauge and pushing it back into the oven.

“Or knives,” Regina pointed out, reaching to check the blonde’s thumb.

The bleeding had stopped now but the clean slice into her skin looked painful. Emma had insisted she didn’t need stitches and simply sucked the wound until the blood stopped coming. Cooking one handed, she discovered, was harder than it seemed.

She drained the potatoes Regina had just removed from the stove and turned her attention to the simmering peas. At least that was one part of the meal which was on track. When Regina replenished her wine glass, she shot a grateful smile to the brunette and resumed stirring the gravy. Ten minutes later and the meat was out of the oven, the peas were buttered and a mound of mashed potato had been served out.

“The meat really should rest for a while,” Emma pouted as she carried it to the table. “I should have put it in earlier but -.”

“Emma, this looks amazing,” Regina interrupted. “And smells incredible. Thank you.”

She craned her neck up to kiss the blonde. Emma blushed, whether from embarrassment at her mistake, pleasure at the compliment, or arousal at the kiss, she wasn’t sure. Probably a combination of all three. Reluctantly, Emma conceded control of carving to Regina. With her tender thumb, she was struggling to get a good grip on the knife handle and the brunette gently pried the blade from her hand before more blood was drawn.

The meal, despite Emma’s struggle with timings, was delicious and the two of them devoured their food in minutes, sipping wine and chatting casually all the while. Once again Emma was struck by the perfect domesticity of the scene. She didn’t mention to Regina how her thoughts strayed to the conversation the two of them had had in that very same room the day before. Although Emma’s hesitation that she would have found it all but impossible to live with Regina and not be physically intimate had been resolved, it was still too early. Four months, she reminded herself. People don’t move states to be with each other after four months. But when Regina asked the slightly glazed-over blonde if she was ok, Emma assured her she was fine, changing the subject to their upcoming evening in the bar before the older woman could question her further.

* * *

When Emma emerged from the bathroom half an hour later, she stopped dead in her tracks at the sight which greeted her. Regina stood shyly by the bed, her fingers tapping against the black clutch bag she was holding.

“Wow,” Emma said when she had regained control over her ability to speak.

“Do I look ok?” Regina asked, casting her eyes down over her jet-black outfit.

“Is that leather?” Emma asked, her own gaze raking over the woman before her.

“Yep. Too much?”

“God, no,” Emma said, crossing to the brunette in three strides and placing a hot kiss against her mouth, her fingers stroking the smooth leather-clad hips. “Fuck, you look amazing.”

Regina smiled at the awestruck blonde and placed a chaste kiss to her lips. “So do you.”

“Oh you’ve got nothing on me,” Emma replied, gesturing to the tight white dress she had just donned. “Once again. I bet people look at us and wonder how the hell someone like me landed a woman as beautiful as you.”

“Hey,” Regina said shortly. “You’re beautiful too, Emma. So beautiful. And anyway, it’s not about looks. You’re an amazing person. How many woman in the world do you think would want to be with a girl who has a dick?”

Emma frowned at the tone of the brunette. “Your spare appendage has nothing to do with our relationship. I’m not with you because of it and I wouldn’t even have considered not pursuing a relationship because of it either. I love you for you, regardless of what your body looks like. And as for your penis, it’s part of who you are. For now.”

“For now,” Regina repeated quietly.

Emma kissed the brunette again, long and slow. When she eventually pulled away, Regina’s eyes were closed and she looked more relaxed. Reaching for her own little piece of leather, Emma shrugged the red jacket over her shoulders and took Regina’s hand, leading her from the room.

* * *

The Rabbit Hole was already busy by the time they arrived but Emma led them straight to the bar and Ruby appeared seconds later.

“You two dress like a couple already,” the redhead drawled, taking in the black and white opposites and the paired leather clothing.

“Shut up and get us some wine,” Emma laughed, pulling Regina a little closer to her side.

They drank and chatted at the bar, joined by Ruby whenever her work allowed her to, for over an hour until August appeared. He kissed each woman on the cheek before ordering another round of drinks for the three of them. Regina had to admit she liked the man, even if she loathed the thought that his own appendage, which was very much not spare, had been inside Emma where hers hadn’t. Soon, she thought to herself, soon. They chatted together for a while until August had to disappear out to the back stock room and help Ruby move a new keg to the front of the bar, leaving the couple alone once more.

“Come on, let’s dance,” Regina said, her face lighting up when a track she knew boomed over the speakers.

She grabbed Emma’s hand and led her onto the dance floor. It was fairly busy but as soon as someone knocked into Regina, Emma’s arms wrapped protectively around her. They danced together, their bodies touching the entire time. When August joined them, Regina moved to stand beside Emma but didn’t remove her arm from the blonde’s waist. The man seemed completely unperturbed and was soon distracted by the arrival of a young woman Regina could only assume was another friend with benefits.

When the bar emptied long after midnight and the lights eventually turned on, Ruby came over and collapsed in the booth Emma and Regina had moved to after they grew tired of dancing.

“Long day?” Emma asked, her fingers trailing slowly up and down Regina’s arm as the brunette’s head rested on her shoulder.

“Yep,” Ruby nodded, taking a swig of beer. “Looks like you guys are beat too.”

She eyed the couple curled up in each other’s arms. She didn’t think she’d ever seen her friend look so completely and utterly relaxed and content. And she was fairly sure it wasn’t because of the two bottles of wine Emma had consumed.

“We didn’t get much sleep last night,” Emma said without thinking.

Both Ruby’s and Regina’s eyes widened at that. Emma’s friend’s jaw dropped as she stared between the suddenly flushed couple.

“You had sex?”

“Shit,” Emma groaned, rubbing her face and trying to sober herself up. “No, we didn’t. Sorry, Regina, I didn’t mean to -.”

“It’s ok,” Regina said, sitting up and stifling a yawn. “She’s your best friend.”

“I know but we didn't talk about whether we were going to tell anyone yet,” Emma said, ignoring the fact that Ruby was still sat there, listening curiously.

“I never expected you to keep it from her,” Regina replied, also oblivious to the additional set of ears. “Friends gossip about sex, I know that.”

“Yes but this is different,” Emma replied. “I wanted to respect your privacy. I wouldn’t have told her without speaking to you about it first.”

“So you guys did have sex?” Ruby asked, drawing herself back into the conversation.

“Not really,” Emma replied. “I mean, not full sex.” She glanced at the brunette, blushing.

“Hey, you can have the conversation about what we did and didn’t do, just not in front of me, ok?” Regina chuckled. “I have no problem with you telling your best friend any intimate details you wish to divulge but I think both myself and Ruby would feel more comfortable if I wasn’t present.”

Emma grinned. “Good point. Rain check?” she asked, turning to Ruby.

“Oh, you bet,” the redhead leered.

Emma rolled her eyes. Her friend really was the most terrible gossip.

“We’d better go,” Emma said. “I’m tired.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Ruby teased. “I want all the details as soon as Regina leaves tomorrow, ok? No offence, Regina.”

“None taken,” Regina said. “It’s not every day your best friend starts a physical relationship with a transgender person.”

A bottle tumbled to the floor in front of their table and shattered into a thousand tiny shards. All three women stared at the pair of feet now surrounded by glass and then up at the man standing before them.

“August,” Emma breathed out, suddenly very much awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ok, so yes I managed to get you this chapter but I’m afraid I don’t think I’ll be able to write the next one until Sunday … sorry not sorry!!!


	20. Jilted Lover's Scorn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: don’t worry, you haven’t accidentally slept for three days. It’s not Sunday. I’m just a quick typist!

Emma stared up at one of her closest friends, trying desperately to read his expression as her heart pounded in her chest. She hadn’t wanted him to find out like that. She wasn’t entirely sure the ideal way to tell her former lover that her new female love was, well, not entirely female. But she knew it wasn’t by overhearing gossip in the booth of his own bar. The man’s face was completely blank, not a flicker of emotion on the familiar features.

“August,” Emma repeated.

“Trans … transgender?” he said at last, looking from Emma to Regina.

The blonde glanced at her girlfriend beside her and saw the almost imperceptible nod of the older woman.

“Yes,” Emma nodded. “Regina is transgender. Pre-op.”

August’s eyes flickered to Regina’s crotch before he could stop them. His cheeks ruddied. Regina crossed her legs.

“So she has -?”

“Yes,” Emma interrupted. “For now.”

“For now?” August frowned.

Once more Emma looked at Regina, not sure if she wanted help or just reassurance that the brunette was still right there beside her. But before she could say anything, the man spoke again.

“That’s why she came here, isn’t it?” he gasped. “For the money. She came to find the person who inherited her father’s fortune. She needs that money to pay to get her dick chopped off.”

Emma jumped to her feet, knocking the table aside. Regina reached for her but Emma shrugged her off, stalking towards the man who backed away at the look of rage on Emma’s face.

“Never speak like that again,” she hissed, stopping mere inches from August’s nose. “Regina is not here for the money. This has nothing to do with the money. And you are never to be so fucking insensitive in front of me or her again. Do you understand?”

“Her?” August sneered, looking past the blonde towards the woman now standing by the booth.

“Yes, _her_ ,” Emma nodded. “My girlfriend, August. Regina’s a woman in every sense of the word and it’s neither your business nor anyone else’s what does or doesn’t happen behind closed doors.”

“You’re fucking?” August exclaimed. “You’re actually having sex with -.”

Regina cried out as Emma’s fist collided heavily with the side of August’s face. The man staggered backwards, wide-eyed, and lifted his arms to shield himself as Emma continued to rain punches down on him. Ruby jumped to her feet, years of being a bartender spurring her into action, and with some difficulty she pulled her two friends apart. Pushing Emma back roughly, she placed herself between the two panting figures and nodded to Regina who had wrapped her arms around Emma’s waist, holding her back.

“What the fuck, Emma?” August asked, spitting blood from his mouth.

“How dare you insult the woman I love,” Emma yelled back. “I know this isn’t easy, August, but I thought you’d be happy for me.”

“Happy for you?” August roared. “How the fuck would I be happy for you because you’re getting nailed by a chick with a dick?”

Ruby turned to Emma just in time to stop the blonde running forwards again. She and Regina held the furious woman back as Emma continued to scream at her friend.

“Why does it matter who makes me happy, August? We’re supposed to be friends. Shouldn’t it be more important that I’ve finally found someone I can connect to?”

“WHAT ABOUT ME?”

The bar fell completely silent. Emma stopped struggling, the words sinking in. August wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and turned towards the bar. Rounding it, he reached for a glass and poured himself a generous serving of whisky. He winced as he downed it, the alcohol stinging his cut lip. Cautiously, Ruby and Regina released their grip on Emma, glancing at each other and, together, backing away. They could both tell the former lovers needed a moment. When the door to the street closed behind the two women, Emma slowly made her way to the bar and slung herself onto the stool opposite August.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Emma said, her voice hoarse but soft.

“Would it have made a difference?” August replied. He sounded utterly defeated. “I knew you’d never feel the same way.”

Well, Emma couldn’t deny that. What she had shared with August, from her side at least, was nothing more than casual, meaningless, albeit good sex. Had she known her friend was developing deeper feelings, it wouldn’t have changed her own.

“Why did you let it continue for so long?” Emma asked.

August shrugged, poured himself another drink and reached to get a second glass for Emma. Once both drinks were downed, he spoke.

“It was better to be with you in some way than no way at all,” he all but whispered. “If I couldn’t have you as my girlfriend, at least we still shared something that was just the two of us, more than friends.”

August looked up at Emma and tried to smile, his already swollen lip struggling to resemble anything other than a broken heart. She had no idea. All these years and she’d never known.

“I’m sorry,” Emma offered. “I never wanted to string you along.”

“You didn’t,” August said. “You never pretended what was between us was anything more than sex. It has always been just sex to you, I get that. And then when I thought it was because you preferred women, I could deal with that. But …”

He trailed off, not wanting to verbalise the revelation from earlier.

“I’m not with Regina because she’s transgender,” Emma said quietly. “I think it’s quite clear that when it comes to who I’m attracted to, gender has very little to do with it. We fell in love, August. We didn’t intend it to happen and we’ve certainly had our ups and downs but I love her so much. Not because of her body but because of who she is as a person. She makes me happy, August, really, really happy.”

“You make me happy,” August said, and for the first time in her life Emma saw tears shining in those familiar blue eyes.

She felt her heart tremble for the man before her. August had been such a good friend ever since she had moved to Storybrooke as a gawky kid. They had been through so much together, experienced so many things for the first time together, it seemed inevitable perhaps that one of them would develop feelings.

“I’m sorry,” Emma murmured, leaning over the bar and placing a kiss on his stubbly cheek.

She slipped from the stool and made her way outside. August watched her leave, not saying a word. Emma found Regina and Ruby leaning against the redhead’s car and talking quietly. They stopped as they saw Emma, waiting until the blonde reached them before speaking.

“Are you ok?” Regina asked, moving to pull Emma into a much needed hug.

The blonde sagged into the contact, her arms encircling the slender frame. Ruby stood somewhat awkwardly to the side, not wanting to interrupt.

“Thanks,” Emma said, glancing between the two women. “For giving us some privacy. We just needed to talk.”

“Is everything ok?” Ruby asked, peering past Emma to The Rabbit Hole, the door to which hadn’t opened, meaning August was still inside.

“I hope so,” Emma nodded. “I don’t want to lose him as a friend. But I think he needs some time. In fact, I think we both do.”

Regina nodded her understanding but still slid her hand possessively into Emma’s, squeezing slightly. The returned pressure lifted the slight weight of apprehension from her shoulders. Although she knew she and Ruby had been right to leave, she was itching to know what happened after they had left the bar.

“We’d better get going,” Emma said. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Sure,” Ruby said, giving Emma a quick hug. “I’ll go and check on him.”

“Text me.”

Ruby smiled and nodded before heading back into the bar. Emma watched her go before turning to Regina and forcing the corners of her mouth up.

“You don’t have to pretend to be ok,” Regina said quietly. “I know you’re not.”

“I had no idea, Gina,” Emma breathed out. “How the hell could I have missed that?”

Less than an hour later, curled up in each other’s arms in Emma’s bed, the blonde told Regina exactly what had happened at the bar, how she had seen at long last the love in her friend’s eyes. Regina listened patiently, knowing Emma both wanted to tell her the truth but also seemed to somehow need to go back over what had happened, giving herself a chance to analyse, understand the new situation. A text from Ruby soon after three in the morning informed Emma that August was asleep on the couch in the back office of The Rabbit Hole and that the redhead was staying there with him for the night.

“I’m such a bad friend,” Emma mumbled against the smooth skin of Regina’s shoulder.

“No you’re not,” the brunette soothed. “You’re an amazing friend, Emma. You just … didn’t see it. Or didn’t want to see it.”

Emma nodded her agreement to that. Perhaps, back when they were teenagers, she had sensed that August was becoming too attached. But she had joked about it at the time, teased him for going all doe-eyed after they’d had sex one evening and pulled away from his arms as he tried to cuddle her. He’d never tried again. She figured that had been the end of it. Seemingly not.

It took both women a long time to fall asleep that night, the pale glimmer of dawn already peaking around Emma’s curtains when they finally drifted off.

* * *

They didn’t mention August the next day, neither woman wanting to taint the last few hours they had together with talk of the blonde’s jilted lover. But they also weren’t themselves. There were fewer touches, shorter kisses, and Regina’s embarrassment returned when Emma walked into the bedroom just as she was getting dressed. If the blonde noticed the changed behaviour, she didn’t say anything.

Regina left in the late afternoon, hugging Emma tightly beside her car, never wanting to let go. She never wanted to leave the blonde, of course. But today was different. She didn’t want to leave the blonde in Storybrooke. With him.

With a final kiss to those rose-pink lips, Regina swung herself into her car, waved, and drove away. She glanced in the rear view mirror as she headed down the gravel path, watching the blonde get smaller and smaller until she reached the road and turned, eclipsing Emma from her sight. She reached for the radio, needing something to distract her from her thoughts. Finding a piece of classical music she quite liked, she settled in her seat, the old leather curving around her like a glove. She hummed and tapped the steering wheel, meandering her way through the streets of Storybrooke and back towards the main road to Chicago. She almost missed him, almost drove past without a glance. But those familiar eyes caught her attention. Without thinking, she stopped, parked on the side of the road and climbed out.

August seemed unsurprised to see Regina walking towards him. He leaned back in the wooden chair, pushing the empty coffee cup away from him. As she entered the cafe, a waitress approached Regina but she brushed her off, heading straight towards the man.

“May I?” she asked, indicating the vacant chair in front of August.

“Sure,” the man shrugged, not looking at Regina but staring out over the lake.

Regina turned to look too. She had to admit, it was quite the view. But that wasn’t why she had stopped the car. She turned back to the man and waited until August’s eyes met her own. She noticed one of them had a faint purple bruise around it: Emma’s handiwork from the previous night.

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” Regina began.

“What are you sorry for?” August frowned. “Shouldn’t I be apologising to you?”

“Only if you’re sorry for what you said,” Regina replied, quirking an eyebrow challengingly.

August’s eyes widened at the stance of the woman before him. Feisty. Quick. He hated to say it but he could see why Emma liked Regina. Well, sort of.

“So what are you sorry for?” August asked, ignoring his opportunity to apologise for his behaviour the night before.

“For the way you found out about me,” Regina said. “I know Emma wanted to tell you in a nicer way than that. Neither of us planned for it to come out like that. We know it’s a lot to take in.”

August scratched his chin ruefully. “So, what? You were trying to formulate the best way to tell me my ex-girlfriend is with a woman who’s actually a dude?”

Regina blushed and scanned the surrounding tables, wondering if any of the other patrons had heard August’s crash comment. If they had, they didn’t react.

“Look, I know this is hard, for all of us,” she added. “But Emma didn’t want to hurt you. She didn’t even know how you felt about her. I mean, you never told her.”

“I didn’t think I needed to,” August shot back, leaning forwards on his elbows. “She always comes back to me in the end. I just figured one of these times it would last between us. And I haven’t lost hope of that happening.”

Regina drew back at the final remark, coupled with the challenging glint in those blue eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, her voice icy.

“Emma thinks she loves you. Maybe she does. And you claim to love her. But we both know why you’re really here and the fact that you have no intention of sticking around once your little problem has been taken care of.” His eyes flickered down to her crotch again before up at her aghast face. He grinned, sitting back in his chair and folding his arms as if he had won the fight.

“You really think I’m with Emma for the money?” Regina hissed.

“Why else?”

“Because I love her,” Regina said, a little louder.

“You love her bank accounts,” August replied. “You’ve barely known her four months. I’ve known Emma most of my life. There’s no comparison.”

“Oh yes there is,” Regina said, standing up and placing her hands on the table, leaning in towards the man before her. “Emma loves me and not you, got it?”

The restaurant erupted as Regina flew back across the room, landing heavily on the table beside the one at which August now stood, hands outstretched in front of him and his face purple with rage. A crowd gathered at once around Regina, helping her to her feet. She winced as they supported her, her head pounding. She reached up to the back of her scalp and felt the warm wetness of blood against her fingertips.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” shouted a man nearby. “Hitting a woman. What would your father say if he could see you, August?”

“She’s no woman,” August growled.

“What’s your name, honey?” a kindly faced young woman asked, ignoring August’s comment and turning to Regina.

She didn’t answer, her eyes locked with August’s. Seeing the hatred for her seething within him made her shudder. She had seen that look before. Her father.

“You’re not from around here, are you love?” another woman asked, crouching down beside Regina and reaching for her bloodied hand to offer a handkerchief. “Do you know someone local?”

“Emma,” Regina breathed out. “Emma Swan.”

“Oh, the Blanchard’s girl,” the first woman said. “Robbie, do we have Emma’s number?”

“Right here,” a small, impish man said, handing over his cell phone to his wife.

Taking the cell, the woman smiled reassuringly at Regina as she waited for Emma to pick up the call. A commotion before her made Regina look up. Two men were holding August who seemed to have been trying to leave and forced him to sit back in his chair. Regina looked away just as Emma answered. She listened to the one-sided conversation, imagining the blonde’s voice on the other end.

“Emma, honey, it’s Belle Gold. Robbie’s wife. Yes, that’s the one. I’m fine thanks but I’m with your friend, Regina. Well, not exactly, she’s had a bit of an incident. With August. No we’re at the Lakeside Cafe. Yes, of course I’ll wait with her. See you in a few.”

Belle hung up the phone and handed it back to her husband before smiling at Regina. “She’s on her way,” she clarified. “Would you like me to take a look at your head? I’m a nurse.”

Regina removed the bloodied handkerchief she had been pressing against the wound, the pain already dulled although by shock or because her heart was hurting even more, she didn’t know. She dropped her head, more to avoid looking at August than anything else, and closed her eyes as Belle parted her hair and peered at the injury.

“Ooh nasty,” came the remark. “I think you’re going to need sutures.”

Regina didn’t reply. She didn’t even care. All she wanted was Emma.

Most of the cafe’s patrons returned to their Sunday afternoon but Belle and the other woman, whose name was Merida and had even redder hair than Ruby, waited beside Regina, talking quietly to her but not receiving any reply. It wasn’t until brakes screeched to a halt and the door of the car slammed shut that Regina reacted at all. She knew it was Emma, even before she had fully turned towards the front of the cafe and seen the blonde racing towards her, throwing her arms around Regina.

“Are you ok? What happened?” Emma asked, taking in Regina’s pale face and the bloody handkerchief on the table.

“I’m fine,” Regina whispered. “Can we go home?”

“She had a bit of an incident,” Belle piped up. “I’m not sure quite what happened but, well, she was pushed.”

“Pushed?” Emma frowned, crouching down before Regina and looking up into her eyes. “Gina, who pushed you.”

Regina said nothing but her eyes, without conscious thought, darted in August’s direction. Emma glanced over and, for the first time, noticed her friend.

“August?”

She sprang to her feet and stalked over. August tired to stand but the two men still holding him down didn’t let him. She fisted the front of his t-shirt and snarled into his face. “If you ever come anywhere near me or Regina again, I will kill you.” Switching her attention to the man to the right of August, she addressed him quickly. “Sidney, call the police and tell them there’s been an assault. We’ll go to the station now to give statements.”

Without waiting for a response, Emma turned back to Regina, reached for her hand and pulled her to her feet. The two women walked quickly through the cafe but Belle hurried after them.

“She needs to go to the hospital, Emma. She needs stitches.”

Emma nodded her understanding as she helped Regina into the SUV and then circled the car to her own side. Climbing in without another word, she started the engine and sped of, not in the direction of the manor house, nor the police station, but towards the nearest hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Dun dun dun! Who saw that coming?


	21. What Happens Next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey lovelies! I hope you’ve all had a wonderful weekend. Apologies about the cliffhanger on Friday - it wasn’t exactly intentional but I had to go out for dinner and thought it was a pretty good (annoying) way to end the chapter. I loved your reactions though. Let’s find out what happens next!

Emma paced up and down the hospital corridor, hands balled into fists by her side. She was cursing under her breath, berating herself for not holding her tongue. The police officer had asked her to leave Regina’s hospital room after her third outburst about August, requesting that he and his partner be allowed to take the brunette’s statement about what happened in peace. That had been ten minutes ago and Emma was having to practice all her self-restraint to not burst back into the overly white room and gather her injured girlfriend into her arms.

By the time the police had arrived at the hospital, presumably directed towards them by Belle Gold, Regina’s head wound had already been stitched up. The gash at the base of her skull was about two inches long, the skin split from where it had struck the table edge. The doctor had assured the two women that there would be no lasting damage but that Belle’s diagnosis had been correct; to leave the wound to heal on its own would be unwise. Emma had sat beside Regina, holding her hand as she endured the painful procedure. Once sewn up, Regina barely had time to begin telling Emma what had happened when the police arrived. And then she’d been banished.

So she cried out with relief when the door to Regina’s private room (which Emma had insisted on paying for) opened and the two police officers stepped out into the corridor.

“Did you get what you need?” Emma asked at once. “Is he going to get what he deserves?”

“Not unless you can persuade Miss Mills to press charges,” the shorter officer said, folding his arms. “She said she doesn’t want to pursue the assault allegation.”

“What?” Emma frowned. “But you’ve seen what he did to her.”

“Yes and she’s given us her testimony which is corroborated by the witnesses at the cafe. But if she’s not prepared to stand up in court, I’m not sure how far the case will get.”

Emma frowned but nodded her understanding. Thanking the officers, she made her way back into Regina’s room. The brunette was sitting up in bed, staring blankly out of the window. She turned, however, when Emma entered and offered her a weak smile. Emma returned it, or tried to.

“The police say you don’t want to press charges,” Emma said as she crossed the room and perched on the edge of Regina’s bed. “Is that true?”

Regina nodded, biting her lip. “August’s your friend, Emma. I don’t want to create trouble for him.”

“He split your head open,” Emma replied tersely. “I think it’s safe to assume any semblance of friendship which remained between us after last night is over now.”

“It wasn’t his fault,” Regina said. “I shouldn’t have stopped to talk to him. If I hadn’t gone there, none of this would have happened.”

“You didn’t make him push you,” Emma replied.

Regina sighed and laid back against the pillow, wincing slightly as her bandaged wound hit the pillow. Emma’s face contorted in pain at the knowledge that Regina was hurting. Anger towards August bubbled inside her, knowing he was the cause.

“But I did. I provoked him,” Regina replied. “I didn’t mean to, and I sure as hell didn’t think he would push me. But I still taunted him in a way that I knew would get to him. I knew he loved you and I was insensitive.”

“Stop trying to justify it,” Emma said flatly. “He was in the wrong, Regina. Not you. Are you really not going to press charges?”

“I can’t,” Regina replied. “I’ve already hurt him enough.”

At that, Emma frowned in confusion. “How have you hurt him?”

“I got you,” Regina said with a soft smile. “I came here and met you and then we fell in love. If I hadn’t come to find you, maybe you and he would have gotten together in the end, just like he always wanted.”

“No,” Emma said firmly. “That would never have happened. Despite what August thinks, what was between us was never more than sex for me. He might have felt something but I didn’t. Relationships can’t be one-sided like that. You, my love,” Emma said, reaching for Regina’s hands, “are not the reason August and I aren’t together.”

Regina pulled her hands from Emma’s and turned away, her eyes burning. Emma shuffled closer and touched Regina’s arm, waiting for the brunette to look at her again. She didn’t. Emma sighed and climbed off the bed, placing herself in Regina’s line of sight. She was alarmed to see the beautiful brown eyes filled with tears and she reached to brush a fallen one from Regina’s cheek.

“What is it?” she asked softly. “What did he say to you?”

Regina took a deep, shuddering breath before voicing the words which had been eating away at her since the cafe.

“He said I was only with you for the money and that once I’ve had the operation I’ll leave you,” Regina said in a rush.

Emma’s eyes darkened, her anger at her friend welling inside her.

“But you know that’s not true,” she said, cupping Regina’s tear-streaked cheeks. “Regina, honey, you know that’s a lie. You know he said that to wind you up. Why are you even listening to the words of that bitter man?”

“I know it’s not true but do you?” Regina whispered.

“What?” Emma frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not with you for the money, Emma,” Regina said. “I love you for you, not what you’ve offered to do for me. And if there’s any doubt in your mind that that’s not the truth, I won’t take the money for the operation, I’ll find another way. Anything to prove that -.”

“Woah,” Emma interrupted. “Regina, you don’t need to prove anything to me. I know you’re not with me for the money. I know you love me. But you sure as hell don’t have to demonstrate that by not having an operation you’ve been waiting for most of your life.”

“You believe me?” Regina whispered.

“I never doubted you,” Emma said earnestly, bending down to kiss Regina’s lips.

Regina sighed into the contact, her heart feeling a little lighter for the first time since she had stopped at the cafe. She hated herself for listening to August but she couldn’t stop the small voice inside her head. If Emma’s best friend thought she was a money-grabbing whore, what was to stop Emma wondering the same thing? But then she looked up into Emma’s earnest green eyes and remembered that she had nothing to fear: that this woman loved her with her all her heart, more fiercely and more loyally than anyone else in her entire life. She smiled, the first genuine smile since she had left Emma’s house that afternoon.

“Take me home?” Regina asked quietly. “I don’t want to go back to Chicago tonight.”

Emma nodded at once and helped Regina from the bed. The brunette’s head throbbed slightly but she wrapped her arm around Emma’s waist and the two of them walked from the room. When she was in the car, Regina called her mother to give her a brief overview of what had happened and explain she wouldn’t be returning home for a couple of days. She then phoned Kathryn to say she wouldn’t be able to come to work. Both women were worried but understanding, stating separately that they hoped Emma would take good care of her. Regina wasn’t concerned; Emma always had her back.

Once at the manor house, Emma deposited Regina in her bed and went to make a cup of tea. Ten minutes later, the two women were curled up under the duvet, despite it being only eight in the evening. Neither of them spoke. They didn’t need to. Regina had recounted every detail of the encounter in the car on the way back from the hospital. All they needed now was to be with each other. Regina fell asleep quickly but it took Emma much longer, her mind churning thoughts about her former friend over and over again. She understood why Regina might have felt what happened was prompted by her decision to go and talk to August. But in no way did that validate what the man had done. He had goaded Regina. He had pushed Regina. He had hurt Regina. And for that, Emma knew she could never forgive him.

* * *

When Regina woke the next day, the first thing she saw was a mass of blonde hair. Emma’s head was tucked in the crook of her neck, the yellow strands tickling Regina’s nose. She smiled and pressed a kiss to the scalp hidden beneath them, breathing in Emma’s familiar, comforting scent. The blonde stirred against her body, mumbled incoherence vibrating against her collarbone.

“Good morning,” Regina whispered as green eyes blinked open at last.

“Gina,” came the groggy reply. “How’s your head?”

“Better,” Regina smiled, her hand reaching beneath her hair to lightly stroke over the bandage.

Already she could tell the cut was healing. There was a dull ache emanating from the surrounding area but her head felt surprisingly clear. She would probably even be ok to drive back to Chicago that afternoon, although the thought of leaving Emma was not a pleasant one.

“Did you sleep ok?” Emma asked.

“Wonderfully,” she smiled. “I always do when I’m with you.”

Emma grinned dopily at the sentiment, knowing that she too slept more soundly when she was in the arms of her girlfriend. Well, usually. It had taken her a long time to fall asleep the previous night, emotions swirling through her and refusing to allow her to rest. When she had at last succumbed, she’d slipped into the strangest dream, one she wasn’t entirely sure she understood or knew what to do about.

“What are you thinking?” Regina asked, seeing the confusion pass over Emma’s face.

“Nothing,” she said quickly. “Do you want to shower whilst I make some coffee?”

Regina hesitated, wanting to challenge the blonde’s abrupt dismissal but decided against it. She figured Emma would tell her when she was ready. So she agreed to the suggestion and kissed Emma lightly before heading into the ensuite. Showering without wetting her bandage and indeed her entire head was awkward, thanks to Emma’s ceiling-mounted shower head, but she managed it and soon found herself sipping a delicious mug of coffee staring out of the living room window at Emma’s garden. The sky was dark with ominous grey clouds, the hot weather they had enjoyed for weeks finally breaking and a storm brewing on the horizon. Emma came up behind her, freshly showered herself, and wrapped her arms around Regina’s waist, kissing the delicate line of her neck.

“What shall we do today?” Emma asked quietly.

“Well I hadn’t planned to be here, so don’t you have work?”

Emma shrugged. “It’s going to rain. I don’t want to get my camera wet. Plus, it’s not like I actually need the money now.”

Regina raised her eyebrows. “Are you considering stopping your photography?”

“No,” Emma said at once. “I love what I do. But I’m saying that you don’t need to feel guilty for being here and, theoretically, distracting me from taking photos.”

“Distracting you?” Regina asked, turning in Emma’s arms and kissing her lips softly.

“Oh you always distract me,” Emma grinned. “You’re very distracting.”

“And you’re easily distracted,” Regina chuckled.

“We’ve said the word distract too many times,” Emma observed. “It sounds weird.”

Regina laughed and Emma beamed. It seemed the brunette wasn’t dwelling too much on the events of yesterday, at least, not to the point where she couldn’t enjoy herself. There were still things to be discussed regarding August, Emma knew, but she didn’t want to bring it up. She wanted to enjoy the extra time she had been given with her girlfriend, not dwell on why the extended stay had transpired.

“Kathryn called when you were in the shower,” Regina said. “She wanted to check on me but also make sure I was going to be back for her birthday party this weekend.”

“And will you be?”

“I think I’d be fine to leave today, to be honest,” Regina said. “But I’d rather stay until tomorrow.”

“You’re welcome here as long as you like,” Emma said.

“Thanks but some of us do actually have to work for a living,” she grinned. “I said I’d be at the store on Wednesday on one condition.”

“And what’s that?” Emma asked.

“That I’m allowed to bring you to Kathryn’s birthday meal on Saturday.”

Emma balked. Meeting Regina’s best friend? The woman who had stuck beside Regina through everything? She hadn’t even thought about how it would feel to meet such an important person in Regina’s life. Her mother was one thing, but because they had met before the two women were an item, it had seemed somehow less scary. Kathryn, on the other hand, terrified her.

“You … you want me to meet Kathryn?”

“Of course,” Regina frowned. “I want you to meet everyone who’s important to me and, to be honest, Kathryn’s the last person on that list.”

“What if she hates me?”

Regina laughed. “How could anyone hate you, Emma? You’re literally the most adorable woman in the world.”

“Second only to you,” Emma countered, kissing Regina’s nose. “Seriously though, what if she doesn’t like me?”

“Firstly, she will,” Regina stated. “And secondly, as important as Kathryn is to me, my love for you is … stronger. Much as I want her approval of you, if I don’t get it, nothing will change between us.”

Emma let the words sink in, wondering how she and Regina had grown so close that their brief relationship was eclipsing decade-old friendships. Was that how it was supposed to happen? Were August and Kathryn becoming casualties of their love? No, Emma said to herself firmly. August made his own bed when he physically assaulted Regina and refused to accept their relationship. And Kathryn, from everything Regina had told her, wasn’t like that and wouldn’t be going anywhere when it came to being a part of Regina’s life.

“I had a dream last night,” Emma blurted out.

“A dream?” Regina frowned.

“About us.”

“Ok …” Regina prompted. “And?”

Emma reached for Regina’s hand and, fingers tangled, led her over to the couch and they both sat down.

“On Friday, when you said you were ready to move in together, did you mean that?” Emma asked.

Eyebrows raised, Regina nodded slowly. “Of course. Why?”

“I can’t stay here,” Emma said simply. “I can’t stay in Storybrooke, not if August’s here and going unpunished for what he did to you. And this house, I …,” she hesitated, not wanting to say _his_ name, “there are too many memories. I think I need a fresh start. I think we need a fresh start.”

Regina inhaled sharply. “What do you mean?”

“I want to move away from here,” Emma said. “I don’t know where and I don’t really care. All I know is I want you to come with me. We can start again. Somewhere different, somewhere new. Together.”

“Together?”

“Together,” Emma repeated. “Me and you. Our own house. Our own lives. Let's leave everything behind us and move on.”

Regina allowed Emma’s words to sink in. Three days ago she had dreamed of having this conversation. She had hoped the blonde was ready to take the next step with her, regardless of how early on in their relationship it was. But now … now it seemed like Emma was doing this to avoid dealing with August. She was running away from her problems, not facing them. And Regina knew from experience that running never led to anything good.

“I thought we decided it was too soon,” she said gently. “I thought we decided to wait.”

“I don’t want to wait any more,” Emma said simply.

“Because of August?”

“Because I love you,” Emma said firmly.

“You can love me here,” Regina pointed out.

Emma frowned at the response. “I thought you wanted this,” she said. “This was your idea.”

“I want us to move in together because we’re ready, not because you don’t want to see your friend.”

“Former friend,” Emma spat.

“Ok,” Regina placated. “But that’s still not a reason to uproot your entire life. I mean, your work is here.”

“Birds fly, Regina,” Emma stated. “I can work anywhere.”

Regina sighed and covered Emma’s hands with her own, stilling the suddenly fidgeting fingers.

“Emma, what was that dream about?”

The blonde looked away, not wanting to verbalise the images still vivid in her mind. She and Regina strolling through Storybrooke’s streets hand in hand, smiling and laughing until a figure stepped out in front of them. Her dream had left the man faceless but she knew who he represented. She had fought valiantly to protect Regina in the dream but she couldn’t, her brain refusing to allow her consciousness a happy ending. She had awoken, covered in sweat and panting, her heart thundering in her chest. Regina had been sleeping peacefully beside her, the painkillers dulling her senses and making her oblivious to Emma’s anguish. Reassured that August’s attack hadn’t ripped Regina from her, Emma had curled herself around her girlfriend and waited to return to sleep.

“I’m scared,” Emma whispered, her eyes sparkling. “Please, Regina, we can’t stay here. We need to leave.”

Regina gathered the woman into her arms, stroking up and down the trembling back, wondering what on earth Emma could possibly be so petrified of. Yes, the two of them had been shocked by August’s actions the day before but Regina didn’t think the man was stupid enough to do anything else to her. Even so, she admitted she wasn’t relishing the idea of seeing him again or knowing that Emma would most likely bump into him around Storybrooke.

“Where would we go?” Regina asked, her curiosity about Emma’s plans getting the better of her.

“Anywhere,” Emma replied. “Near Chicago if you want to stay close to your family.”

“And my doctor,” Regina pointed out.

“Right,” Emma nodded, remembering that the woman before her did have plans for surgery coming up and moving across the country wouldn’t exactly be well-timed.

“You’re serious?” Regina asked. “You’d really be willing to leave your life here and move to be with me?”

“I’d do anything to be with you,” Emma said simply.

“What about Ruby? And your other friends here?”

“Ruby can visit,” Emma shrugged. “But I need to get out of here. And soon.”

“Before the surgery?”

“Before the weekend if possible,” Emma shrugged. “I don’t want to be here any more, Regina. Storybrooke has been my home most of my life but now it feels like an alien town to me. Everything changed yesterday and it’s not your fault, but I don’t feel comfortable here any more. I don’t feel safe.”

“August’s not going to hurt me again,” Regina said.

“You don’t know that,” Emma whispered. “And if you’re not going to press charges, I can’t risk us being here.”

“And if I did press charges?”

Emma shrugged. “He’d possibly get a few years in prison at best. Once he was out we’d have to move anyway. Might as well doing it now, right? Plus you don’t want to press charges, remember? I’m not going to force you do to that if I can solve all our problems by moving to Wisconsin.”

“Wisconsin?”

Emma shrugged. “Lots of trees and lakes. It’s good bird country.”

“Wisconsin,” Regina repeated, testing the name on her tongue. Did it feel like home? Perhaps. With Emma by her side she thought anywhere would feel like a home. Maybe it had nothing to do with the place itself and more the blonde now looking intently at her.

“Three days ago you said it was too soon,” Regina reminded her. “Don’t let August’s actions push you into something you’re not ready for.”

“I said I didn’t think I could bear to live in a constant state of sexual frustration,” Emma amended. “And if memory serves, Friday night obliterated those concerns.” Regina couldn’t help but laugh. “So perhaps August has spurred me into moving up this decision date but I think we both knew this was where we were heading. And anyway, I want to be living with you before you have surgery.”

“Why?” Regina frowned.

“Because I want you to leave the hospital afterwards and come to our home. I’d always planned that, I think. I’d always imagined you walking over the threshold in the body you truly belong, entering the home we’ve built together and being ready to start the next phase of our lives.”

Regina pulled Emma into a tight hug, the emotions the blonde had sparked in her filling her heart to the brim. How had she found such a kind, thoughtful, caring woman who loved her so utterly completely? Emma burrowed her face in Regina’s neck, holding her tightly, never wanting to let her go.

“Ok.”

Emma pulled away at the whisper, cupping Regina’s cheeks with her soft hands. “Ok?”

“Ok,” Regina nodded. “Let’s do it.”

* * *

The two women spent the rest of their extra time together making plans for their upcoming move. Emma, in her eagerness, phoned an estate agent and made an appointment for later in the week to put the manor on the market. They researched different areas, Regina for amenities, Emma for wildlife density, and tried to narrow down their search parameters. Once they had settled on the countryside to the south-east of Madison, preferably close to a lake, Emma eagerly began to scour the Internet. Although initially uncomfortable at the vast sums of money each property cost, Regina soon became distracted by the lure of swimming pools and stables and vast country estates.

“You can get a horse,” Emma said enthusiastically, pointing to a particular property overlooking a lake with paddocks and stables in the rear.

“And your ducks could live on the lake,” Regina replied. “Or would they fly off?”

“They’re pretty loyal,” Emma shrugged. “But if they did leave, I’d understand. Ooh look, this one has an indoor pool too.”

“Emma, it’s seven million dollars,” Regina exclaimed as she glanced over the listing for the extravagant villa-style mansion.

“So?” Emma replied. “I can afford it.”

Regina wrinkled her nose. “No, I’m not comfortable with you paying for everything when it comes to such a huge sum of money. It’s … it’s weird.”

“But you said you were ok with me spending this money on us,” Emma said.

“I did but I wasn’t expecting you to buy us a house. And look, it’s got eleven bedrooms. Who on earth needs eleven bedrooms?”

“Hang on,” Emma frowned. “You’d be ok to move into this house with me which the estate agent estimated at being worth over two million dollars but you’re not ok with me buying us a new house?”

“Worth three times that,” Regina pointed out. “Emma, we don’t need that much space.”

“Ok, ok,” Emma agreed, clicking back to the website and perusing other, more modestly sized houses.

When Regina at last left to drive back to Chicago on Tuesday evening, Emma had already set up three house viewings for the two of them the following Sunday, after Kathryn’s birthday event. She admitted they might be rushing things a little but Emma knew she needed to leave Storybrooke as fast as possible. When they had walked into town to collect Regina’s abandoned car on Tuesday, she had been conscious of people looking at them. It seemed word had got out regarding what August had been referring to when he had denounced Regina as a not being a woman in the cafe. She couldn’t deal with small-town mindedness. She didn’t need to deal with it. All she needed to do was whisk Regina away somewhere the two of them could just live happily, without being judged.

* * *

“What?” Ruby gasped when Emma had finally filled her in on everything which had happened since they had last seen each other. It was Thursday evening and Ruby had come over to the manor house to have a long-overdue catch up with her friend. She wasn’t prepared for just quite how much had changed in Emma’s life, however.

“I know it’s come out of the blue but I really need you to support me, Rubes,” Emma said, reaching across the kitchen table and squeezing her friend’s arm.

“You’re really leaving?”

Emma nodded. “As soon as possible. I can’t stay here, Ruby. And I don’t want Regina to have to come back either.”

“But you love it here,” Ruby frowned. “Storybrooke is my home.”

“I loved it here,” Emma amended. “And yes, it was. But it stopped being remotely homely when I felt like Regina was in danger. You should have seen some of the looks we got when we walked through on on Tuesday, Ruby. I was so ashamed to have been living with these people. I don’t want Regina to have to face them every time she comes down. Not to mention August.”

“Have you spoken to him?” Ruby asked.

“No,” Emma replied. “And I don’t want to. I thought we could get past this, I thought we could all be friends but there’s no way I can ever forgive him for what happened to Regina.”

Ruby nodded her understanding, proud in a way of Emma’s fierce devotion to Regina. She knew how Emma felt about the brunette, knew her friend had never been so besotted in her life. And if the two of them weren’t going to be able to find happiness in Storybrooke, she couldn’t be angry at the decision to leave, even if she would miss her friend terribly.

“When are you going?” Ruby asked.

“Soon,” Emma admitted. “We’ve viewing houses this weekend.”

“Guess it’s easy when there’s money in the bank,” Ruby remarked.

Emma winced at the tone. Ruby blushed. She hadn’t meant it to come out quite so biting. But before she could apologise, Emma spoke.

“I’d have moved away regardless,” she said. “We could have lived in Regina’s house with her mother for all I care. I just don’t want to be here.”

This time Emma’s words hurt the redhead but she knew they weren’t intended to do so. She knew Emma would miss her just as much as she’d miss the blonde. The two of them had been inseparable since they had met over ten years before. In fact, the two of them and August had been a trio for most of their lives. But now everything was changing.

“I spoke to him,” Ruby admitted, not sure if Emma had expected her to ignore the fact that August remained a mutual friend.

The green eyes darkened almost imperceptibly before Emma answered. “What did he say?”

Ruby shrugged, thinking that repeating the crass words to the blonde would not help anyone in the slightest. She hated what August had done, of course. But he was still her friend and she could see how much his heart was breaking, even if he had handled the situation appallingly. She hoped Emma understood her divided loyalty.

“I’ll come up and visit you all the time,” Ruby said, changing the subject. “And we can meet in Chicago too. Billy’s been talking about taking a trip there for months.”

“Sounds great,” Emma grinned. “Thanks Ruby.”

“I just want you to be happy,” Ruby said with a smile.

“I am,” Emma replied. “Or at least, I will be.”

* * *

To Regina’s surprise, her mother was much more accepting of then news than she had anticipated. Cora had hugged her daughter tightly when she had confessed Emma’s sudden plan for the pair of them. If the older Mills was surprised as to the speed of the decision, she didn’t say anything. And when Regina brought up the subject of their current living arrangements, Cora smirked.

“I suppose it’s time you found out that I’m not the only one loved up,” she said.

“What?” Regina gasped. “You’ve been dating someone? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well if you weren’t so infatuated with Emma, perhaps you would have noticed that I’ve been going out for dinner several times a week for the past four months,” Cora teased.

“Oh shut up!” Regina laughed. “Who is he? Tell me everything?”

And so Cora told her daughter all about the landscape gardener she had met at an art gallery a few months previously. They had been standing side by side staring at a Monet for several minutes before Jonathan plucked up the courage to speak to her. They’d gone for coffee, which had turned into dinner, and then drinks. Regina had been away at Emma’s that weekend and hadn’t been there to witness her mother creeping home after one in the morning. And from there the two of them had begun a tentative romance. Both divorcees, they had been cautious at first but within a few weeks it was obvious there was something special between them.

“And he doesn’t mind that you’re the worst gardener in the world?” Regina laughed, looking around the kitchen where two wilting plants decorated the room.

“I’m learning, actually,” Cora said. “Did you see that new pot in the back garden?”

“A present from your lover?” Regina teased.

Cora laughed. “Perhaps. He said the place looked sad without flowers.”

“He’s been here?”

“Thanks to the fact that you disappear off to see Miss Swan all the time, yes, my dear. Jonathan has been over quite a few times.”

“Can I meet him?” Regina asked.

“Can you behave?” Cora countered.

Regina laughed. “Of course! But …hang on, what does this have to do with the fact that I won’t be paying rent on this place any more?”

Cora bit her lip, a habit her daughter had inherited from her. “Jon’s asked me to move in with him,” she admitted. “And I’ve accepted.”

Wide-eyed with surprise, it took Regina a moment to react. But then she squealed in delight and threw herself into her mother’s arms, hugging her tightly.

“I’m so happy for you, Ma,” she murmured. “You deserve it.”

“I’m happy for us,” Cora said. “We both deserve it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: next up, Emma meets Kathryn …


	22. Taking The Plunge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: this is NSFW, to make up for the fact that I’m posting less often at the moment. Sorry! Progress between these two ladies is being made though guys. Soon … very, very soon.

Emma took a deep breath before walking into the store. She glanced around, spotted a sign which pointed her in the right direction, and began to make her way towards the area. The air was sweet as she entered the cosmetics zone, stands lining the pathway filled with perfumes. She brushed aside the offered scents politely, only interested in one saleswoman.

“May I sample some please?” Emma murmured into the brunette’s ear.

Regina squealed and spun on the spot, eyes wide.

“Emma!” she scolded. “You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“Sorry,” Emma grinned. “I just wanted to come and say hi.”

She leaned forwards to kiss Regina but the brunette moved away, her eyes darting around the store. Emma blushed. She hadn’t thought about the possibility of her girlfriend not having told her colleagues about them. Come to that, they probably didn’t know Regina was transgender either.

“You’re early,” Regina stated after a slightly awkward pause.

“I couldn’t wait to see you, so I set off a little earlier than I’d planned,” Emma said simply. “How’s your head?”

“Fine,” Regina nodded. “Although I can’t wait until I can actually wash my hair properly. This dry shampoo makes me look like I have terrible dandruff.”

Emma laughed, noticing as she did so that the dark brown hair was indeed speckled with white flecks.

“I’ll wash it for you later, if you like,” she offered.

“I’m not an invalid,” Regina chuckled.

“No, but you can’t wash your own hair and since it’s Kathryn’s birthday party tomorrow, I assume you’re going to need someone to help you? Or do you want to get shampoo in your stitches?”

Regina scowled at the blonde’s logic. She was indeed going to have to ask someone to help her and, if she was honest, she was very glad it was Emma.

“Is Kathryn here?” Emma asked, glancing around the store and then realising she had no idea what her girlfriend’s best friend looked like and stopped searching.

“No, she left at three. Why? Did you want to meet her before the party?” Regina asked.

Emma shrugged. Yes, she supposed that had been part of her plan in coming to the department store to surprise her girlfriend. If she was going to meet this woman who clearly meant so much to Regina, Emma had hoped to do it in a setting where they’d have the opportunity to talk and get to know each other properly. From what Regina had told her about the birthday plans, there was little chance of that happening tomorrow in a popular restaurant and then a bar with lots of other friends too.

“When do you finish?” Emma asked, changing the subject. She didn’t want to admit to Regina how nervous she was about meeting Kathryn. After all, their relationship had always caused one friendship to fall apart. She didn’t want there to be a second casualty.

“Um, ten minutes,” Regina said, checking her cell phone. “Wait for me?”

“Of course,” Emma nodded. “Otherwise I’d have to go and sit in your house with your mother and make awkward small talk about you.”

“Firstly, my mother isn’t awkward,” Regina said. “And secondly, you could talk about things other than me, you know?”

“Yeah but you’re our common ground,” Emma grinned. “And I like talking about you. Plus your mother always has some juicy tidbit to tell me.”

Regina’s eyes narrowed. “Like what?” Emma simply laughed, a teasing glint in her eye. Regina scowled deeper. “I don’t like that you two get on well,” she decided. “It’s annoying when you gang up against me.”

“Oh, we only do it because we love you,” Emma assured her girlfriend, squeezing her hand discreetly behind the perfume counter.

Regina huffed and folded her arms and then quickly unfolded them as she caught sight of the store manager frowning at her aggressive stance. Whispering for Emma to get out from behind the counter, Regina made an over-the-top show of demonstrating the latest scent range to Emma who tried to smother her giggles at the brunette’s act.

* * *

By the time they returned to the house Emma stank of perfume and she’d only been in the department for half an hour.

“How can you stand it?” she asked, sniffing the air as they entered the hall of the house. “I can still smell myself.”

“You get used to it,” Regina shrugged. “And it’s not a bad smell, is it?”

“It’s a bit much,” Emma admitted. “I mean, a spritz or two is fine but I feel like I’ve bathed in the stuff.”

Regina laughed. She knew what the blonde meant. It had taken her a while to become accustomed to the way the smell clung to her clothes. In fact, she kept her work uniforms in dry cleaning bags in her closet and always washed them separately. So perhaps Emma did have a point …

“Come on,” she said, leading the way up the stairs. “Let’s shower and then you’ll stop complaining.”

“Shower?” Emma said, her eyes lighting up at the prospect of seeing Regina naked again so soon. Naked and wet, her mind added. “Together?”

“Didn’t you offer to help me wash my hair?” Regina said over her shoulder.

Emma nodded enthusiastically but then faltered in her step. “Erm, your mom?”

“Knows we’re in a relationship,” Regina pointed out. “But relax. She’s with Jon for the weekend. We have the place to ourselves.”

“Have you met him yet?” Emma asked, following her girlfriend into the bathroom. Regina had told her all about her mother’s new boyfriend the first chance she had got. Emma was pleased Cora had someone to distract her from Regina’s love life now. She knew the brunette hated the teasing and scrutiny.

“No, but he’s coming in to meet me when he drops Ma back here on Sunday,” Regina said. “I insisted that if the two of them were going to disappear off for the weekend then the least she could do was introduce us. I wanted to meet him before they went, to check he wasn’t an axe murderer or something but I’ve been working. So I’ll just have to trust my mother’s judgement and be the disapproving daughter upon their return.”

Emma laughed and, following Regina’s lead, began to get undressed. Her perfume-scented clothes fell to the floor, as did Regina’s work outfit until they were both standing in their underwear. Emma’s eyes roved over the olive skin as Regina carefully unpinned her hair which had been twisted up in such a way that the small shaved area where there were stitches hadn’t been visible. She saw Emma approaching in the mirror, smiling when her lips dropped to her shoulder, kissing the soft skin.

“I’ve missed you,” Emma murmured, her hands splayed across Regina’s hips, pulling the brunette back against her body.

“I missed you too,” Regina said, twisting around in Emma’s embrace and melding their lips together.

It wasn’t their first kiss of the trip. The moment the two of them had met in the back office at Regina’s work their lips had met. But now they were in private, the build-up of wanton lust was bursting free.

As always, Emma let Regina dictate the pace. It didn’t take long, however, for the brunette to unclasp the younger woman’s bra, covering the now bare mounds with her hands as their tongues battled. Emma arched towards her, thumbs teasing her nipples. It had been almost a week since she had last felt Regina and her body burned desperately for the woman now pushing the damp underwear down her legs.

When Emma was naked, the blonde turned her attention to undressing Regina too. Much as she was enjoying the scratch of the older woman’s lace bra against her nipples, she removed it, dropping her lips at once to capture the tight bud. Regina groaned, her hands fisting in Emma’s hair, drawing her closer. Emma suckled harder, tongue trailing over the pebbled skin. Her hands, meanwhile, began to remove the tight black boxers Regina had been wearing. Her erection bounced free at once, straining towards the blonde as the underwear fell to the floor. Emma pulled the now naked body against her, moaning at the feel of Regina’s arousal pressed against her thigh. She felt her core tightened even though she didn’t think that was going to happen … not yet.

“Come on,” Regina said, breaking the kiss. “I thought we were supposed to be showering.”

Dry-mouthed, Emma stumbled after Regina and into the cubicle. It wasn’t made for two people, that much was obvious, but neither woman cared. In fact, the proximity of their bodies was a plus, in their minds. Regina reached for the lowered shower head and fiddled around until it was at the right temperature. Replacing it into the bracket, the water hit her shoulder and cascaded down her front and back, wetting Emma too as she stepped closer.

Their bodies now slick to the touch, hands roamed ever more easily over the skin, slippery and hot as their mouths resumed their passionate embrace. Regina’s penis, trapped between them, throbbed and twitched as Emma’s hands skated over her body, slowly moving closer until, at last, fingers wrapped around the shaft. Regina whimpered, pulling away from the kiss and looking directly into Emma’s eyes. The blonde smiled reassuringly, waiting to receive the same from Regina before she moved. When she did, she began to pump.

The water acted as a lubricant, making Emma’s hand travel up and down the stiff cock without resistance. Regina leaned back against the shower wall and closer her eyes, thrusting her hips forwards into the action. Emma’s eyes roved over the body before her, marvelling still at what she saw. Regina was beautiful, undeniably, but it was still unusual for her to see both a penis and breasts on the same person. She didn’t care though. Not when that person was Regina. Not when that person loved her. She ducked her head to the exposed nipples once more, alternating between them with her hot mouth as her hand moved faster. She squeezed tighter, smearing the pre-ejaculate leaking from the end of Regina’s cock over the head before it was washed away by the water.

“Emma!” Regina gasped, as the fingers moved relentlessly over her sensitive tip.

“Come, Gina,” Emma encouraged. “Come for me.”

Regina’s hands reached for Emma, gripping her shoulders as her body convulsed. Emma watched as streams of creamy liquid shot from the tip of Regina’s cock, hitting her own body and the wall of she shower. She kept pumping, slower now, until she felt it begin to soften in her hand and she tenderly released it, allowing it to fall back between Regina’s legs where it hung, limp and spent. She looked at it for a moment until Regina’s finger under her chin diverted her gaze.

“Don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t look at it.”

“You’re beautiful,” Emma said firmly.

“Perhaps,” Regina shrugged. “But that isn’t a part of me. At least, it won’t be. I don’t want you getting attached to my spare appendage.”

Emma kissed her hard, wrapping her in her arms.

“I love you,” she said when she broke the kiss. “Not your body. Whatever you want to do, Regina, you know I’ll support you and I’ll always be here for you.”

“Good,” Regina said. “Because I’ve made an appointment to have the surgery.”

Emma froze. She stared. The water continued to rain down on her but she didn’t even feel it. She just stood, eyes wide, mouth open, trying to process what she had been told. Regina waited, knowing there was nothing more to say.

“You’re really certain?” Emma breathed out.

“Yes,” Regina nodded.

“When?”

“July 25th.”

Emma’s eyebrows rose. “That’s in three weeks.”

“Yeah,” Regina nodded. “I can’t wait any longer, Emma. And my doctor had a cancellation. He called me this afternoon to offer me the slot and I took it. I … I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you first but -.”

“No, you didn’t need to talk to me before you agreed,” Emma said, tightening her arms around Regina and pulling their bodies flush together again. “I knew you were planning it. I just didn’t realise it would be so … soon.”

“Nor did I,” Regina said. “But it feels right, Emma. I … I’m ready.”

Emma nodded her understanding and placed a chaste kiss to Regina’s lips. The heat between them slowly built until Regina finally took pity on the blonde and slid her fingers between her thighs. Even in the shower she could feel Emma was slick with arousal, her folds coated in a thicker, warmer liquid. She trailed her fingers across Emma’s clit several times before dipping down to her entrance and thrusting inside. Emma cried out, her body filled once more. She loved the feeling, she was unashamed to admit. The thought flashed across her mind that perhaps, within the next three weeks, Regina would be filling her with another body part. But then the thought vanished as Regina’s fingers pulled out, returned to her clit, and the waves of pleasure short-circuited her brain.

Ten minutes later, Regina was sat patiently on the floor of the shower, her head bent forwards. Emma was kneeling beside her, carefully soaping her hair and avoiding the wound. Once she was sure Regina’s brown hair was as sudsy as possible, she tenderly rinsed it, directing the flow away from the jagged red line at the base of her scalp. Emma’s heart still clenched every time she saw it. But then the washing was done, Regina was stepping out of the shower and wrapping her hair in a towel, and the injury had disappeared from sight. Emma quickly washed her own hair before climbing out too, joining Regina in the brunette’s bedroom to get changed.

They were a little shy with each other the rest of the evening, whether because they were still not entirely comfortable being sexually intimate or because both were thinking about the looming sexual elephant in the room which was intercourse itself, neither knew. They fell asleep in each other’s arms however, naked and satiated once more.

* * *

A low bass reverberated through the air as the two women entered the restaurant the following evening. Glancing around, Emma could tell the place was both hip and popular. Regina gave Kathryn’s name to the maitre’d and they were led, weaving through the crowds, to the bar. A tall blonde woman squealed at the sight of them and hopped off the bar stool she had been occupying, pulling Regina into a tight hug.

“And you must be Emma,” Kathryn said once she had released Regina and turned to the blonde standing awkwardly behind her friend.

“Happy birthday and it’s lovely to meet you,” Emma said, holding out her hand. “Gina’s told me so much about you.”

“Oh stop that,” Kathryn said, knocking Emma’s hand aside and hugging Emma too. “Anyone who’s been given permission to call my best friend by her family-only nickname has got to be pretty fucking special. Come and sit, what are you drinking?”

The rest of the ladies perched at the bar introduced themselves to Emma as they all waited for another round of martinis. They appeared to be a mixture of friends of Kathryn’s and Regina’s from high school and a few colleagues from work. Before Emma had a chance to really get to know any of them, however, their waiter appeared to show them to their table.

“Sit next to me, Emma!” Kathryn called from the head of the table. “I want as much time as possible to get to know the woman who’s stolen Regina’s heart.”

Emma shot a worried look at her girlfriend but Regina smiled encouragingly, following the blonde and taking the seat beside Emma, just two down from the birthday girl.

“So,” Kathryn said as everyone else sat down. “Did she really just turn up in your garden and ask for the money?”

The rest of the meal was filled with questions, anecdotes, and getting to know one another. Emma was pleasantly surprised at how engaged Kathryn was with her as she had worried their first meeting would be rather superficial. The two of them chatted happily away to one another however, Regina flitting between their own conversation and that of the other friends. Emma felt a little sorry for Kathryn’s other guests whom the blonde was largely ignoring in favour of getting to know her best friend’s girlfriend. But they didn’t seem to mind. Rounds of martinis kept appearing at the table and the volume of their groups steadily increased. When Kathryn let out a peel of laughter when Emma recalled how she and Regina had spent a day up a tree taking photos of birds, other patrons turned around to stare at them. It wasn’t long after that, that the group decided to move on. Well, the suggestion was made to them by the maitre’d that perhaps they’d be more comfortable at a bar or club. Or anywhere other than the restaurant.

Regina had never really considered herself a club person. Too many people, too little space. But bars she could do, especially with Emma by her side. The blonde’s arm was firmly wrapped around her waist, steering her through the crowd after the birthday group and up to the bar where yet more martinis were being made.

“Are you feeling ok?” Emma asked, glancing at Regina and noticing her cheeks were a little pink.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I think this one might be my last for a while though.”

Emma nodded her understanding. They had been drinking rather quickly and although she had, until recently, been a frequent patron of The Rabbit Hole, she wasn’t used to spirits and was also feeling the effect of the alcohol. As was Kathryn, who let out a loud whoop when the music changed and tugged Regina out onto the packed dance floor. Emma caught the glass thrust into her hand, deposited both it and her own on the bar, and hurried after the retreating friends.

By the time she got to Regina she could already tell the brunette was uncomfortable. As Emma had approached, two people had knocked into Regina so when she reached the pair, she positioned herself behind the older woman, her arms wrapped protectively around her as they began to dance. Regina glanced over her shoulder and smiled her thanks, pressing a quick kiss to Emma’s lips.

The rest of the group joined, martinis in hand and for the next few hours they danced non stop. Once Regina had settled into being in front of Emma, she actually found herself quite enjoying it. She wiggled her hips and moved her feet, enjoying the feel of Emma pressed against her. She briefly wondered what it would feel like for Emma if she was behind. Her crotch stirred, awakening.

They hadn’t talked about that upcoming night. Regina hadn’t voiced her plans. She didn’t know if she wanted to have yet another full blown, analytical conversation about sex. Wasn’t it just supposed to be instinctive, natural, spontaneous? So she’d said nothing, knowing that if she wasn’t ready she could just back out and Emma would never know. Except she was ready. She was more than ready. After twenty six years. It was time.

Emma’s lips brushed against her neck and Regina shivered. Yes, it was definitely time.

* * *

The cab pulled up outside Regina’s house soon after two in the morning. Thanking the driver and paying him, Regina climbed out, followed by Emma. They made their way up the garden path easily, both women having stopped drinking a couple of hours earlier. Regina, because she knew how she hoped the evening would end, and Emma, because she didn’t want to make a fool of herself in front of Kathryn the first time they met.

So once they were in the dark, quiet house, Regina reached for Emma’s hand and tugged the woman after her. Emma went willingly, of course, following Regina into her bedroom where the bedside light was turned on and the curtains hastily drawn.

“Great night,” Emma remarked. “Kathryn seems amazing.”

“She is,” Regina nodded. “And this night’s about to get better.”

Emma watched as Regina unzipped the turquoise dress she was wearing, allowing the fabric to fall to the floor. Her strapless bra followed, leaving her in just her white briefs. Unable to hold back any longer, Emma crossed the room, capturing her mouth in a bruising kiss, the air escaping Regina with a gasp of delight.

“Emma,” Regina said when they broke apart, the blonde’s hands roving all over her almost naked body. “I’m ready.”

She could see the blonde’s brain consider those words, trying to work out what they meant. Evidently she needed some more help.

“Ready?”

“Ready for sex.”

There was another gasp, Emma’s eyes darkening with arousal at the mere thought.

“Sex?” Emma whispered. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Regina nodded. “I want this. I want you. I … I need you. Please, just, let me make love to you.”

Emma searched the big brown eyes she knew so well, trying to find the slightest bit of doubt or trepidation. When she found none, there was only one thing to say.

“Ok.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: oh, oh, another cliff hanger for you!


	23. Losing Regina's Virginity

The kiss resumed, their arms wrapped around one another. Emma gently turned Regina towards the bed, guiding her to sit on the edge as their tongues caressed. She leaned down, enjoying dominating the kiss for a while, knowing that whatever came next was going to be Regina’s to dictate. And she was more than ok with that. 

Fingers raked up her back, undoing her own zip and peeling the dress from her body. Without breaking the kiss, she stepped out of the material and kicked it aside. Regina’s hands roved over her bare back, fingernails lightly grazing over her skin. Emma moaned as Regina palmed her ass, gripping momentarily before returning to release the bra clasp at last. Once Emma’s breasts were free, Regina broke the kiss, dropping her lips to the bare chest almost at her eye level. Emma’s were smaller than her own, pale pink nipple capping each one. She pinched them lightly between her fingers, causing Emma to curse quietly. Regina smirked as her mouth moved to cover one, tongue twirling over the hard bud.

Emma’s chest was rising and falling heavily as she looked down her body at the sight before her. Perched on the edge of the bed, with Emma stood between her parted thighs, Regina was sucking enthusiastically at Emma’s breast, the neglected one squeezed by a hand. If she looked past the erotic image, she could see Regina’s erection, straining against the cotton underwear which still remained in place. Her core clenched. She couldn’t believe she was actually going to experience sexual intercourse with Regina at long last.

It wasn’t that Emma had missed sex with a man. She hadn’t. What she and Regina had already shared was more than satisfying for her. But she had never denied how much she enjoyed the feeling of her cunt being filled. And for her it wasn’t the vulnerable position some women considered sex to be; she liked the power she felt when a dick slid inside her. The way she could squeeze her inner muscles, twitch her core, roll her hips, and make a man come in seconds. She wondered if Regina would be the same, be so … easy to manipulate. Because at the end of the day, Emma had decided long ago, once a man was inside her, she was always the one in control.

She gasped as Regina’s teeth bit into her nipple, leaving little indentations in the flesh. 

“Come back to me,” Regina murmured, looking up into the previously glazed face of her girlfriend. She had noted Emma’s mind floating away, assuming it was the blonde worrying about whether Regina was ready, despite her repeated assurances that she was.

“Sorry,” Emma said, bending down to kiss the brunette. “I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

Regina smiled and then moved away, sliding herself back up the bed until she rested against the bank of pillows below the headboard. Emma followed, crawling up cat-like until she sat, straddling Regina’s hips. She could feel the erection against her thigh and knew the damp gusset of her underwear was pressed into Regina’s stomach. Regina reached for her and she went willingly, bare breasts crushed together as their mouths met. The kiss was becoming more desperate now, the heat between their legs fuelling the clash of teeth and tongues. Regina bit Emma’s lip, capturing it with her teeth and tugging lightly. Emma growled but the noise was quickly replaced by a whimper as Regina’s tongue laved the sore skin.

“Gina,” she murmured, rocking her hips against the cock pressed against her core.

Regina knew what Emma needed. She knew what they both needed. But she’d also already decided that if this was going to be her first time, there was something else she was still yet to try she wanted to do beforehand. So she gently rolled Emma onto her back, falling into the cradle of her hips and placing a final kiss to her lips before she began to make her way down the blonde’s flushed body, peppering the hot skin with kisses.

“What are you -? Oh!” Emma gasped as Regina’s mouth reached the top of her underwear and didn’t stop, kissing the covered mound.

She could smell Emma’s sex, heady and strong. She had tasted Emma on her fingers before, once, when the blonde wasn’t looking. But now, with her mouth inches from the wet core, she knew drinking straight from the source would be infinitely better. Hooking her fingers into the elastic, she quickly pulled the scrap of lace down Emma’s body. There, for the first time, Regina’s gaze fell upon Emma’s cunt, finally seeing what her fingers had only touched. 

Emma was propped up on her elbows, watching Regina look at her. She waited patiently, well, sort of patiently. Her body was practically vibrating with desire. But she knew they had to go at Regina’s pace. Regina cocked her head to one side and pushed Emma’s thighs wider, opening her up. Emma obliged but suddenly began to feel a little self-conscious. She didn’t think anyone had spent quite so long looking at her sex before. Well, except her gynaecologist.

“Um, Gina?” Emma asked after almost a full minute.

“Sorry,” Regina said, appearing to snap out of a trance. “I just … it’s beautiful.”

Emma frowned. “Pretty sure no one’s ever called my vagina beautiful before,” she chuckled. “But thanks, I guess.”

“You’re welcome,” Regina grinned. “Soon we’ll be able to compare.”

Emma burst out laughing, falling back onto the pillows and covering her face with her forearms. She felt Regina moving, crawling up her body, and then the weight of her arms being lifted from her face, brown eyes peering curiously down at her.

“What?” Regina asked. “What did I say?”

“We’re not going to compare vaginas,” Emma said, still laughing. “I mean, everyone’s is different and they’re all completely normal. I … I don’t want you to judge your future body against mine and think you’re any less feminine because of how might or might not look.”

“Shouldn’t you be the one who’s worried?” Regina asked, laughing herself now. “Mine’s going to be constructed by a plastic surgeon. Surely it’ll be perfect.”

“But that’s the point,” Emma said, wrapping her arms around Regina and pulling her down so they lay chest to chest once more. “There is no such thing as a perfect vagina.”

“Yours looks perfect,” Regina pointed out. “Good enough to eat, in fact.”

Emma had been about to reply but the sultry look on Regina’s face made her snap her mouth shut. Instead she watched as her girlfriend slid herself carefully down her body once more, settled between her legs and, without pausing, covered her waiting sex with her mouth. 

A strangled moan escaped Emma as her core was enveloped in hot, wet, passion. She gripped the bedsheets, forcing herself not to pull Regina closer, no matter how much she desperately wanted to grind her sex against the mouth between her thighs. But she needn’t have worried. After a couple of hesitate licks with the tip of her tongue, Regina seemed to lose any inhibitions. She feasted on her girlfriend, laving strong, determined strokes from her entrance to her clit. The folds parted around her tongue, Emma’s delicious, tangy essence smeared all over her face as she burrowed closer, her nose nudging Emma’s clit and making the blonde buck into the contact, swearing in ecstasy. Regina redoubled her efforts, sensing how close Emma was, although whether that was because of her technique or because Emma was just so turned on at the fact they were about to have sex, she didn’t know or care.

Two fingers pushed inside unexpectedly and Emma arched off the bed, impaling herself even harder on the new stimulators. Regina smirked into the wet folds, proud of herself for reading her girlfriend’s needs so well. She pumped steadily, as she had several times before, but now her tongue trailed over Emma’s needy little clit, her mouth capturing it and sucking. Her name tumbled from Emma’s lips over and over again, a desperate chant for the brunette as she reached her peak. Unable to stop herself, Emma’s hands flew to Regina’s head, pulling the mouth even harder against her sex as she came, her body trembling through her orgasm. Regina felt the flood of wetness against her fingers and then chin, her dick painfully hard in the knowledge that soon she would be feeling Emma’s body wrapped around her member. She kept pumping, slower now, until at last the grip on her hair loosened and Emma collapsed back to the mattress, panting.

Raising her head, Regina’s heart pounded at the sight before her. Emma was spreadeagled on the bed, her hair mussed and her body flushed. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, her nipples still tight with arousal. When Regina crawled up the woman, she saw the blonde’s eyes were closed, a blissful smile on her lips. Unable to resist, Regina leaned down to kiss them. Emma moaned at the feel of her own essence on Regina’s mouth, opening her lips and allowing her tongue to swipe through the liquid. She didn’t think she’d ever tasted anything sexier. Her own come and Regina’s mouth mixed together. Her core twitched, already eager for more.

“Was that ok?” Regina asked as Emma’s eyes opened and met hers at last.

“You’re fucking amazing,” Emma said, her voice hoarse. “Like, really amazing, Gina.”

Regina beamed with pride, kissing Emma again. Their bodies were pressed together once more, Emma’s arms wrapped around Regina’s back, enjoying the closeness. But both were eager for what came next. After a few minutes, Emma carefully rolled them over, pushing Regina onto her back and straddling her still clothed hips.

“Don’t ask me if I’m sure,” Regina said as she saw Emma open her mouth. “I want this, Emma. Trust me.”

Emma laughed. “I was actually going to ask if we needed to use condoms,” she said. “I didn’t know if you were still producing fertile sperm.”

“There’s some in the top drawer,” Regina said. “They should still be in date.”

Emma frowned at that and, as she leaned over to retrieve the box, Regina explained.

“They were a joke present from Kathryn a few years ago. She was just teasing me about the fact that I was still a virgin even though she knew why that was a case. Pretty sure I threw them at her head when I unwrapped them. Guess I’ll be thanking her now.”

Emma chuckled as she checked the expiry date. “Six more months,” she nodded. “We’re good.”

Regina grinned. “Excellent, because I don’t think either of us would have been keen on running down to the corner store and buying some.”

“God no!” Emma said. “I’d have just taken my chances. I mean, would I have needed to take the morning after pill? Can you get me pregnant?”

“It would be unlikely,” Regina said. “The hormones I’m on make my sperm count very low. The risk is negligible. But not worth taking I suppose.”

“Do you want kids?” Emma asked.

Regina raised her eyebrows. “Um, is this really the time to have this conversation?” She looked pointedly at her crotch where her rock hard penis was still encased in her underwear.

“Good point,” Emma said, nodding seriously.  
 She climbed off Regina and removed the underwear at last. Leaning down, she placed a quick kiss to the tip of the jutting cock, licking through the pre-come there. She didn’t think performing oral sex was a good idea, however. Regina wasn’t going to last long as it was and she had hoped to prolong the experience as much as she could. Extra stimulation from her mouth probably wouldn’t help! So she swung her leg back over Regina’s and pulled a condom from the box. Taking care to open the package without ripping it, she placed the latex at the tip. Carefully, she guided it down the length of Regina’s cock, unrolling it right to the base. Regina watched with baited breath.

When it was covered, Emma’s eyes met Regina’s. She didn’t bother asking. She knew Regina was more than ready for what came next. Shifting herself up slightly, she raised her hips away from the brunette’s body and reached to hold the stiff cock in her hands. Slowly, she swiped the head through her folds, coating the condom thoroughly with her own juices. Regina’s eyes looked on, fascinated. When she was sure it was wet enough, Emma lifted herself a little higher, aligning Regina’s penis with her own entrance. Just as she was about to lower herself, a hand shot out, grasping her hip. She stopped at once.

“Regina?” Emma asked, searching her girlfriend’s face for some sign as to what was wrong.

“I love you,” Regina said simply. 

Emma let out a sigh of relief, fear disappearing as quickly as it had come. “I love you too,” she said easily. “So much, Gina.”

Regina smiled and then, without warning, bucked her hips. Emma swore as the tip of the cock pushed inside her. Her eyes widened in surprise and then she grinned widely at her smirking girlfriend. Slowly, she lowered herself down, drawing the entire length of Regina into her body. When her hips finally bumped into Regina’s, she let out a long sigh of contentment. Fuck, she thought. Regina might not be particularly wide but she was reaching deep inside her. Her core clenched involuntarily. Regina gasped, eyes wide at the sensation.

“How does it feel?” Emma asked, hands now splayed across Regina’s rib cages.

“Tight,” Regina replied through gritted teeth. “And hot.”

“Don’t worry if you’re not going to last long,” Emma assured her.

“Oh I won’t,” Regina said. “I’m already - FUCK!”

Emma rolled her hips suddenly, moving her clit against Regina’s pubic bone and squeezing deep inside her. She could feel Regina’s cock moving slightly within her, twitching and jerking in pleasure. She began to rise and fall, her strong thighs supporting her as she slid herself up and down Regina’s dick. The brunette cried out as she felt Emma’s body, gripping tightly, riding her for the first time. She knew it wouldn’t take long. But she also knew there was something she wanted to do before she came.

There was a squeal and a grunt as Regina tried to flip the pair of them and landed awkwardly on top of Emma, her penis slipping from the blonde’s body. 

“Shit, sorry,” Regina muttered, lifting herself off the crushed woman beneath her. “I was trying to turn us over.”

“It’s ok,” Emma said, rubbing her ribs where Regina’s elbow had collided with them and readjusting herself so she was lying on her back. “You want to try a different position?”

“I want to fuck you.”

Emma gulped, her core clenching almost painfully hard around nothing at the sultry tone. She needed Regina back inside her and she needed it now. Thankfully, Regina didn’t seem to be in the mood to hang around either. She knelt between Emma’s spread legs, lined herself up with the blonde’s glistening core, and slid back inside to a chorus of moans from both women.

Regina bit her lip. She knew she wasn’t going to last long now, not when she looked down at her girlfriend, sprawled beneath her, wanton and ready to be fucked. And she was not one to deny Emma Swan. Bracing herself on her hands, she began to thrust her hips. It was easier than she’d thought; instinct taking over as she pumped her dick in and out. She tried to establish a steady rhythm but her mind was struggling to compute anything other than the sensation of Emma’s wet cunt enveloping her erection. When Emma’s hands reached for her breasts, stimulating the nipples, she knew she was done for. Her thrusts became faster but more erratic, pushing deeper into the woman whose eyes were now locked on hers. She could see Emma’s love for her, the unadulterated desire and arousal and sheer devotion reflected in those beautiful green eyes and she screamed as she came, her dick buried deep inside the blonde as her vision went white and she collapsed forwards. 

Emma came at that moment too, the pressure of Regina’s body against her clit, coupled with the feeling of her girlfriend buried to the hilt in her core triggered her second orgasm and she wrapped her arms around Regina, shuddering through her own pleasure. She could feel Regina’s erratic breathing, shallow, rattling breaths and her shivering body as she lay atop her. Her hands stroked up and down Regina’s sweaty back, kisses laid against her cheek. Emma had never felt so connected to anyone after sex, had never felt so completely and utterly in love.

After several minutes, Regina slowly pushed her torso off Emma’s, peering down into the face below her. Instead of saying anything, Emma just kissed her, trying to convey everything she was feeling through her lips. She thought Regina understood, from the way she kissed back. Eventually, Regina’s softened penis began to slide from Emma’s relaxed, wet core. Emma reached down herself, holding the base of the condom to keep it in place as Regina pulled away. She then sat up, removed the condom herself and hopped off the bed to wrap it in a tissue and put it in the trash can.

“Isn’t that the guy’s job?” Regina replied as she lay down on the sheets, watching Emma dispose of the protection now filled with her ejaculate.

“Perhaps, but I see no guy here,” Emma pointed out.

Regina couldn’t help but smile. It surprised her, in fact, how little she felt like a man. Or at least how she anticipated a man might feel after sex. There was something innately male about the concept of coming inside a woman. After all, the female anatomy didn’t allow for such a feat. But she didn’t. She might have ‘fucked’ Emma, but she still felt incredibly feminine. She still knew she was a woman. And despite having enjoyed the experience immensely, she still knew she didn’t want her penis.

“Are you ok?” Emma asked, unable to help herself as she slid back into Regina’s bed and pulled the covers over their bodies.

“Amazing,” Regina nodded, sliding herself closer and entangling their legs. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” Emma repeated. “You’re an amazing woman, Regina. I’m so honoured that you were willing to trust me enough to allow me to be your first.”

“And last,” Regina pointed out.

Emma’s smiled faltered for a split second before she could stop it. 

“Oh, no, Emma! I didn’t mean I wouldn’t do that again. I will. I want to. I mean, you’re the last person who’s ever going to experience my penis. I … look, that was amazing. Really, truly. I’d be more than happy to repeat the performance several times over the next few weeks.”

“Really?” Emma asked, her face lighting up.

“Yes,” Regina nodded. “But … I’m still getting the surgery. Good as that was, enjoyable as that was, this body still isn’t mine. It’s still wrong. So, we can enjoy the spare appendage whilst it’s still here but … don’t get attached, ok?”

“I’m attached to you, Gina,” Emma said quickly. “Not your dick. And I would have been ok if you hadn’t ever wanted to do that again, honestly.”

“But you would like to,” Regina prompted.

Emma bit her lip. “I’m not going to lie to you,” she said quietly. “That was amazing. The feel of you inside me, reaching so deep. Yeah, I want to do that again. But in three weeks time, when you go into the hospital, I’ll be there to hold your hand. Because that’s what you want and that’s what’s right for you. Which means I’m behind you one hundred per cent. I love you, Regina, whatever sex organs you have.”

Regina leaned forwards and kissed Emma, forcing herself not to cry at the wave of emotions that swept over her. It didn’t work and as her tears dripped down onto Emma’s face. When she felt them, the blonde simply softened the kiss, wiped her tears with the pad of her thumb, and pulled the older woman closer.

“You’re my last not only with my spare appendage, you know?” Regina said when they parted minutes later. “You’re the one, Emma. You’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t care if it’s too soon to say that. I don’t care if it’s too fast. I love you and I want to be with you from now until the day I die.” 

“Gina,” Emma gasped, her own eyes sparking now. “I want that too. I think I’ve always wanted that. It was different between us, you know, right from the start. I’ve never felt like this before and I knew we had something special. Whatever happens next or in the future, it’s me and you. Forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I didn’t want to stall your anticipated reading of the sex scene so here’s my note. Firstly, I hope this was ok. As I’ve said, I’ve never written sex with a penis before. Secondly, your reviews over the past two days were literally brilliant … for me. But you all seemed so mad at me for the cliffhanger. Do your really hate them that much? I use it as a tactic to keep you coming back for more, honestly, but I don’t want to piss you guys off too much by leaving you hanging. Are they too annoying? Should I stop? (Warning, I may or may not listen to your recommendations …)


	24. The Perfect Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m so sorry for the delay guys! Life is just rather busy at the moment. But I promise you I will never leave a story unfinished!

When Emma woke the next morning, the bed was empty. She frowned, reaching over to touch the sheets where Regina had laid and smiled when she felt the residual heat still lingering on the soft fabric. She must have just left, she mused. Emma stretched, her body slightly sore from their activities the night before. It had been a while since she’d had sex and her core ached in a pleasant way as she climbed out of bed and reached for a robe which was hanging on the back of the door.

As soon as she stepped out into the corridor she smiled. The smell of bacon wafted up through the house and she knew exactly where her girlfriend had snuck off to. After going to the bathroom, Emma made her way downstairs and into the kitchen where she found Regina standing in front of the stove, cracking an egg into a pan.

“Morning beautiful,” Emma said, dropping a kiss to the exposed skin of Regina’s neck. The woman had thrown on a baggy t-shirt and nothing more, the fabric sexily hanging off one shoulder and making Emma ache to remove it entirely.

“Why are you down here?” came the slightly frustrated reply. “I was going to bring you breakfast in bed.”

“I can go back,” Emma said at once. “I am more than willing to go back to bed if you’re coming too.”

Regina laughed and turned to kiss Emma’s lips softly. “Give me five minutes,” she said. “And you can take that coffee with you if you want to help?”

Emma nodded, grabbed the waiting French press, two cups, and some milk before leaving Regina to finish off their breakfast. She set the coffee on the bedside table and climbed back into the rumpled sheets, the faint smell of sex still in the air from the previous night. Settling back against the headboard, Emma sighed in contentment. This, she thought, was how every Sunday should be.

* * *

In fact, both women enjoyed their Sunday morning in bed together so much that they were almost late for their first real estate appointment that afternoon. Regina had eventually dragged the pair of them out of bed and into the shower just before lunchtime and then they had grabbed some more toast to abate their once-again growing hunger and jumped into the SUV.

Emma hadn’t been house hunting for years, and certainly not with such a huge budget. Regina too, was unfamiliar looking around such elaborate properties. Although she had grown up with wealth, for the past ten years of her life, she had been living on a normal or even below-average income.

“Wow,” Emma breathed as they drove up to the first house. “Is that a helipad?”

“I think so,” Regina nodded, frowning at the small square of tarmac. “Emma, please don’t buy a helicopter.”

Emma laughed and assured Regina she had no intention of buying a helicopter just as she pulled up besides a shiny new BMW. Clearly real estate agents made great commissions when they reached this level. A young man was standing in the shade of the house, smiling and waving at them.

“Ready?” Emma asked, turning to Regina.

“Are we crazy?” Regina said suddenly. “I mean, is this too fast?”

“Does it feel too fast?” Emma countered.

“No,” Regina admitted. “But it should, shouldn’t it?”

“It should feel right,” Emma said simply. “Which it does. There’s no perfect timescale to relationships, Regina. Every one is different because every two people are different together. We both want this, right?” Regina nodded. “And we both feel ready to take this step?” Another nod. “Good, then let’s get going.”

The estate agent introduced himself as Dominic and proceeded to flatter and compliment the two women until Emma interrupted him and asked if they could see the house. After quickly pointing out the exterior features, which included the helipad, a twin garage, and the Victorian building itself, they headed inside. If Emma thought the manor she had inherited from Henry Mills was grand, it was nothing to what she and Regina walked into. Every inch was immaculately decorated, furnished with the highest quality products, and looked like something straight out of a catalogue. They walked, awestruck, from the expansive hallway into the state-of-the-art kitchen, the grand dining room, four differently styled living rooms, a library and an art studio.

“That explains a lot,” Emma mused, as they were told the current owners were artists.

Upstairs was just as beautiful, with five bedrooms and three bathrooms, all pristine and, seemingly, brand new. When they were finished looking around, the two women and Dominic walked out to the back garden where the terrace overlooked the swimming pool which gave way to a rolling green meadow complete with stable block.

“I’ll leave you two to have a chat,” Dominic said after he had pointed out yet more selling features including the water heating system which meant the swimming pool could be used all year round, and the the small patch of woodland at the bottom of the hill which was part of the estate.

“Thanks,” Emma said, smiling at the agent before turning to Regina who was gazing out over the view. “Well?”

“It’s big,” Regina said simply.

“Yep,” Emma nodded. “It is. Too big?”

Regina shrugged. “I’m not sure it’s the size that’s the problem.”

“Problem?”

Regina bit her lip. She had asked Emma not to bring him up ever again. And now she was going to defy her own request.

“I’m worried it will remind me of him,” she all but whispered. “The extravagance, the unnecessary expense. I’ll always know we could never have afforded a place like this without his money. If we at least buy somewhere a little smaller I’ll be able to convince myself it could have been ours some time in the future even without his help and he just … sped up the process.”

“Regina, if you’re not going to be comfortable in a house bought with his money then we won’t spend a dime of it. We can rent or buy a tiny little place. I don’t care. All I want is a home that’s ours. If that’s not possible using this money, we won’t do it. Simple as that.”

“Can we … could we just see some more modest places perhaps?” Regina asked. “All this just seems,” she waved her hand towards the massive house looming behind them, “too much.”

Emma nodded at once, placed a soft kiss to Regina’s lips, and went off in search of Dominic. The man was, perhaps understandably for someone who works on commission, a little put out at the requested change in their search details, specifically the drastically lower budget. Emma apologised for having wasted his time but assured him they’d be happy to schedule viewings for the next weekend if there was nothing available that day.

“I have one,” Dominic said. “It’s, well, it’s not quite what you asked for but it’s a smaller house and it’s cheaper. We can visit today, the owners have already moved, you see. They’re just waiting for a sale.”

“Sure,” Emma nodded. “I’ll go and get Regina.”

* * *

The drive to the next property took them back towards Chicago. They were less than half an hour from the city when Dominic’s car indicated ahead of them and swung off the road and onto a small track, almost hidden in the hedge. Emma frowned slightly but Regina’s eyes lit up as they bounced down the dirt road, Dominic driving very slowly so as not to bottom out his low-slung sports model. Eventually they emerged from the shady track into a small yard. The garage door before them was hanging off its hinges, the old metal covered in peeling and faded blue paint. Chinks of sunlight filtered down into the dusty darkness beyond, the roof clearly in poor condition. Emma wrinkled her nose. She didn’t know if they were in the right place to take on a fixer-upper, not with Regina’s surgery a few weeks away. But when she turned to comment on this, Regina was grinning widely at her in such a way that Emma momentarily worried for her sanity.

“What?” she frowned at her loony-looking girlfriend.

“It’s perfect,” Regina breathed, looking past Emma and out of the driver’s window towards the house.

For the first time, Emma turned to take in the building too. She gasped. It reminded her of those cottages which adorned boxes of chocolates from Europe. A typical English style country home, complete with a rose trellis climbing up the side of the white-washed walls. The flowers, admittedly were wilted and hanging heavy on their stems but it didn’t matter. Regina was right. It was perfect.

They climbed out and walked towards Dominic who was grinning as he watched them approach. He’d had a feeling about the place and had only not shown it to the two women because it was so far under their previous budget but because he thought the place would suit them down to the ground. He just had to mention the one catch now.

“Well?” he asked when they joined him.

“It’s beautiful,” Emma smiled. “Can you tell us a bit about it?”

Dominic launched into the tale of how a man and his family had emigrated to the states from the UK in the nineteenth century and once he’d made his fortune, he had built himself a traditional English cottage to remind him of home. The walls were made from cob, an ancient building material which mixed mud and straw together. The roof had been thatched but due to the relentless upkeep and the fire hazard, slate tiles had replaced them a few decades earlier. The windowpanes too had been updated from the traditional lead ones to wood and inside the kitchen had also been renovated. The house had been handed down through the generations but the one remaining daughter was a city lover and had moved to Chicago a few months before.

They walked through the house, from the cosy entrance area to the smart, modern kitchen. The family dining room led onto a decent-sized living room with a fireplace Dominic assured Emma was working. There was an additional smaller living area out the back, which had been painted the bright colours of a children’s play area some time in the past. Upstairs the three bedrooms and two bathrooms were also all freshly painted, clean, and well-presented. They stood in the master-bedroom at the end of the tour, Regina checking out the ensuite bathroom and Emma gazing out onto the yard.

“Why the neglect of the garage?” Emma asked, curious to know who would spend so much money on doing up a cottage and ignore the first thing potential buyers would see when they came up the drive.

“The father of the current owner hated cars,” Dominic explained. “His wife was killed in a car crash when their daughter was very young. He refused to drive ever since.”

“But we’re in the middle of nowhere,” Regina frowned as she walked back into the bedroom. “How did they get around.”

Dominic smiled and beckoned for them to follow him. Leading the way into the smaller room at the back of the house, Dominic pulled aside the curtain and pointed. Regina and Emma peered past his finger and gasped.

“Horses?” they said together, one excited, one sceptical.

In the paddock beside the house stood a smart stable block, beside which two horses, one grey, one chestnut, were grazing side by side. As they watched, the chestnut tossed its head, ridding itself of a pesky summer fly, before lowering its mouth back to resume eating the short, green grass.

“Indeed,” Dominic nodded. “There’s a bridlepath behind the property which leads to the nearest town and because this old man was such a regular riding around, most of the shops have a ring outside them to which you can tie your steed. He died last year but his daughter still rides into town when she visits.”

“Wow,” Regina breathed. “What an amazing lifestyle.”

“It’s weird,” Emma remarked.

Dominic bit his lip before speaking again. “I haven’t mentioned the one little detail about the property I probably should have,” the estate agent admitted. “Obviously you’d have no problem affording this place. The asking price is $600,000 which includes the thirty acres surrounding it and all the buildings. But there’s a condition to the purchase.”

“Involving the horses?” Emma frowned, noting the way the man glanced out the field to where the animals grazed.

“They’re part of the deal,” Dominic said. “The old man wanted them to stay here, in their home. It was his dying wish. And much as his daughter loved horses, she’s not willing to put her budding legal career on hold to become a farmer. So she decided to add them in with the property when she put it on the market.”

“How many are there?” Regina asked before Emma could answer.

“Three,” Dominic replied. “One’s retired and often hangs out in the shade of the stable block, the other two we can see now are teenagers. The chestnut was a rather successful racehorse back in his day. The grey’s a more docile mare. Both perfectly rideable, however. They’re being looked after and exercised by a neighbour at the moment. Do you have experience with horses?”

“Yes,” Regina nodded. “I used to ride as a child.”

“Regina,” Emma said. “Are you really considering this?”

“It’s perfect, Emma,” Regina said, turning to the sceptical looking blonde. “Don’t you think so?”

“The house, yes,” she nodded. “And I’m sure the chickens and ducks would love it too. But horses? I don’t know the first thing about horses.”

“You joked that I could get a horse when we were looking at properties before,” Regina reminded her.

“In the future, not now,” Emma reasoned. “And not three! I mean, there’s one of you.”

“There’s two of us,” Regina amended. “And one horse isn’t ridden. I can teach you to ride on the grey.”

“But what about -?” Emma stopped herself, glancing at Dominic.

The man nodded at once, understanding that the two women needed a moment to discuss something private, and disappeared out of the room. Emma waited until they heard his feet on the bare wooden staircase before continuing.

“Regina, your operation is in three weeks and I know I’m not a doctor but I’m pretty sure you’re not going to be straddling a saddle any time soon after that,” Emma deadpanned.

“True but the neighbour could help you out,” Regina reasoned.

“Help me out?” Emma squeaked. “I can’t ride the horses.”

“I meant with feeding them,” Regina said slowly, confused at the woman’s severe reaction. “Emma, are you scared of horses?”

The blonde blushed. She didn’t want to admit to Regina that she’d always had an irrational fear of the large animals. She knew how much Regina liked them: the brunette had talked all about her times spent at the stables as a child and her wish for a pony of her own which had never appeared once Jacob had ceased to exist. But owning horses herself? She didn’t think she could do that.

“Come and meet them,” Regina suggested.

“Meet them?”

“Yeah,” Regina nodded, holding out her hand. “Come on.”

They made their way downstairs and out of the house. Dominic watched from the dining room window as the two women weaved their way through the overgrown garden and down to the gate at the bottom which linked to the paddock. On the way, Regina spotted a vegetable patch and walked over to pull a few abandoned carrots from the soil. They were a little wrinkly but she didn’t think the horses would mind. She brushed the dirt off and returned to Emma, continuing to the gate together. Once there she leaned on the wood and made a clicking noise with her teeth and tongue.

“What was that?” Emma said, bursting out laughing.

“Says the woman who makes bird noises in her sleep,” Regina shot back.

“I make bird noises in my sleep?” Emma frowned, but Regina wasn’t listening. She was waving her carrot towards the grey mare who had raised its head and was looking curiously at her.

“Come on,” she called. “Look at this tasty treat I have for you.”

The horse continued to stare, deciding whether it was worth her time to walk the few yards to the fence. The chestnut too had noticed Regina and Emma but made no move towards them.

“Gina,” Emma said suddenly, pointing towards the stable.

A large cob plodded into view, his dark brown coat shining in the sun. It paused for a split second before walking slowly but steadily towards the pair. Regina could see his white muzzle, greying with age, as he approached. Emma backed away as the horse continued to walk nearer. Regina didn’t try to stop her. She simply waited until the giant creature’s chest bumped gently into the top rung of the gate. He was massive, she mused, at least seventeen hands. Holding out her palm, flat with the carrot in the centre, she offered the horse her carrot. Velvety soft lips wrapped around it, gobbling the treat up at once. Regina smiled, holding out her hand for the horse to sniff. He did so, and then whinnied. Emma squeaked again.

“It’s ok,” Regina assured. “He’s just being friendly. Consider that his way of saying hello.”

“Horses can’t talk,” Emma remarked.

“No, but they can whinny,” Regina said. “And that whinny was saying ‘hi Emma! Come meet me and my friends’.”

In the time they had been interacting with the older horse, the younger two had decided they were missing out on something and were now hovering behind the bay. After a second carrot, the older horse gently moved out of the way and the youngsters approached. Regina fed each of them a carrot and patted their necks. Emma watched from a distance but she already knew Regina had won. No, not won. It wasn’t ever a battle. She wanted whatever made Regina happy and from the look on her girlfriend’s face in that moment, this was pure bliss for the brunette. And Emma loved the house herself; she was sure she could learn to not fear the horses.

Dominic had appeared behind them, anxious to know the decision. He’d been trying to offload the house for months but the horses had been putting potential buyers off. He had a feeling however, as he had watched Regina, that the couple might be different.

“Well?” he asked, standing beside Emma and watching as Regina cooed in the grey horse’s ear.

“We’ll take it,” Emma said. “Offer them the full amount but tell them I want the name of that neighbour who’s been looking after the horses cos I’m going to need some help.”

“Pretty sure Miss Mills has got that all covered,” Dominic remarked, nodding towards the woman now kissing the mare’s nose.

“We’ll be needing the neighbour,” Emma said, without elaborating.

“I’ll make the call.”

As Dominic walked back towards the cottage, Emma moved hesitantly towards Regina. The older horse had wandered off again and the chestnut was grazing over the top of the fence, snagging at the wild grasses growing in the garden. The grey however, was standing serenely before Regina, eyes half closed as Regina scratched its nose.

“Hey,” Emma said quietly.

“Hey,” Regina said, turning to Emma with a wide smile. “Look, she loves having her nose tickled. Come here.”

She reached for Emma’s hands and gently tugged the blonde closer. She came, her fingers laced with Regina’s until the older woman untangled them and placed them exactly where her own had been. The skin was warm and incredibly soft. Emma had never felt anything like it before. She moved her fingers experimentally and saw the horse’s eye open a little wider. She scratched harder, starting up the rhythm Regina had previously established and soon the horse’s eyes closed once more. Regina beamed by her side.

“See, I told you they weren’t scary,” Regina said. “And I know I won’t be able to do much after my surgery but we can always ask that neighbour to help if necessary.”

“I’ve already done that,” Emma said, smirking sideways at the brunette.

“Asked the neighbour?” Regina frowned.

“Well, asked for the neighbour’s number,” Emma amended.

“So you’re … wait, what are you saying?”

“It’s ours,” Emma said. “I’ve told Dominic to make them an offer of the full amount. This is our home Regina.”

There was a pause and then Regina squealed and launched herself at Emma. The grey horse threw his head in the air and snorted, rushing backwards into the chestnut who neighed and galloped off around the field. In all the drama, Emma screamed and fell over backwards in her haste to get away from the animals, Regina landing on top of her.

“I’m so sorry!” Regina gasped, pushing herself up off Emma and pulling the blonde to her feet. “I’m so sorry, Emma. That was my fault, not the horses. They don’t like loud noises and I … well, it’s been a while since I was around them, I guess I forgot. Please, please don’t back out on this house. I -.”

“Regina,” Emma interrupted. “I’m not backing out of anything.”

“You’re not?”

“No,” Emma replied, rubbing her butt where she had landed heavily on the ground. “But … I think I’m going to stay this side of the fence for a while. Maybe the garden can be my area and you can tend to everything horse-related, ok?”

“Deal,” Regina grinned. “I hate gardening.”

“And I’m not going to say I hate horses because I know how much you love them but -.”

The rest of Emma’s sentence was smothered by Regina giggling lips, words no longer necessary as they celebrated their new home. Dominic stepped into the garden five minutes later to confirm the sale had been accepted but decided against interrupting the two women who were still intertwined. Instead, he returned to the house and pulled out his iPad so he could make a start on the paperwork. Since Emma was a cash buyer and the house was empty, he hoped to get the sale completed by the end of the week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: just to say that the response to the last chapter was incredible. I’m glad you’re all enjoying the sex scenes between Emma, Regina, and a penis. There’s one more to come before the operation happens. And several of you have been asking questions about the possibility of the two women having a child - don’t worry, all will become clear. I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to reply to you all in person but between my job as a writer and trying to update my fics, I just can’t spend any more time typing at my computer! But rest assured I read each one and appreciate the time you all take to type them. Big love!


	25. Their New Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ok so perhaps there will be two more NSFW chapters. This being one of them …

“You’re what?”

Emma sighed and collapsed onto the new couch in her Storybrooke manor. It was Wednesday evening and she had finally summoned up the courage to make the phone call she had needed to make since Sunday afternoon.

“I’m moving, Mom,” Emma repeated.

There was a long pause. Emma could imagine her mother frowning as she stood at the kitchen sink, staring out of the window over the Pacific Ocean.

“Where to?” came the eventual question.

“Near Chicago,” Emma said. “We’ve found this gorgeous little cottage out in the countryside. You and Dad will love it.”

“We?” Mary Margaret said. “You and this mystery woman you won’t tell us anything about? Is that who you’re moving in with?”

“Yes, and I’ve told you stuff about her,” Emma protested.

“Hardly,” piped up David’s voice, making Emma realise her parents had put her on loudspeaker without her knowledge. Seemingly they were both enjoying the view from their beachfront property. “You’ve told us she’s called Regina and lives in Chicago and that you’re madly in love with her.”

“Well, what else do you want to know?” Emma asked.

“What happened between her and August, for one,” Mary Margaret replied. “I spoke to Belle. She said he pushed her? Landed her in the hospital with a cut on her head? Is that why you’re moving?”

“Partly,” Emma admitted. “Yeah, I guess. I don’t want to be around him any more, guys. And I know Regina doesn’t want to be here either any more.”

The brunette had never vocalised such a thing but her girlfriend also knew Emma would never have even asked her to set foot in Storybrooke again so she supposed it was something unnecessary even to speak about.

“But you love Storybrooke,” David said. “Ever since you were a little girl that’s been your home. You wouldn’t even leave when your Mom and I did. You’re really going to let a little argument with one of your oldest friends drive you away?”

“Little argument?” Emma spat, unable to keep the anger out of her voice. “He split her head open, Dad! He pushed her. He assaulted her. The only reason we’re not pressing charges is because Regina still seems to think she in some way provoked him into attacking her and doesn’t want to ruin his life. A sentiment I am not in agreement with, by the way. August was a complete fuc-.”

“Emma!” Mary Margaret said, shocked by the language and tone of her daughter’s voice. “August is your friend.”

“And Regina is my girlfriend,” Emma replied. “Whom he hurt. I can’t forgive him, Mom. And I don’t feel safe here. Neither of us do.”

“You’re saying you think he’d hurt Regina again?” David frowned.

“Yes,” Emma said simply. “I wouldn’t put it past him.”

“Why?” Mary Margaret asked. “Why does he dislike Regina so much. August’s usually such a gentle soul. What could this woman whom you love so much possibly have done to anger him to the point of violence?”

Emma sighed. She hadn’t wanted to tell her mother and father about Regina’s transgender identity over the phone. It wasn’t that she had been deliberately keeping the fact from them but … well, she thought it was a conversation they should have face to face and she hadn’t seen her parents in months, not since things had become serious between she and Regina. She sat up, took a sip of wine and began to tell them everything.

* * *

There were many things in life which changed once you had money, Emma was discovering. One of which was the speed of the real estate market. On Saturday morning, she sat in Dominic’s office in Chicago, pen poised over the document which would officially complete the transaction of the farmhouse, less than a week after they had first visited the property. Regina sat beside her, hand resting on Emma’s thigh.

“You sure?” the blonde asked, a sideways grin and a wink to the older woman.

“Shut up and sign,” Regina laughed, squeezing her fingers a little.

Emma scrawled her completely illegible signature on the paper and pushed it towards Dominic as Regina’s lips landed on her own. The estate agent grinned, not because of the considerable commission he had just earned but because he could tell how completely and utterly in love the couple before him was.

Fifteen minutes later, keys in hand, Emma and Regina strolled out of the estate agents and stopped dead in their tracks.

“Rain?” Regina frowned, squinting through the downpour. “Where did this come from?”

“Well, it’s made of little droplets of water which fall from the sky when the -.”

“Stop being so literal,” Regina chuckled. “I wasn’t expecting this, that’s all.”

“Clearly,” Emma said, nodding towards the Mercedes parked on the street, the window of which was open and rain falling through onto Regina’s seat.

“Shit,” she groaned, dashing out across the sidewalk, opening the car door and hurling herself inside to wind up the window as fast as possible.

Emma followed, her blonde hair plastered to her head by the time she reached her own, dry seat. Regina grumbled and reached into the back to grab some plastic bags, laying them against the wet fabric before she settled down and turned the key.

“Can we drive to the cottage now?” Emma asked. “Or do you want to go back to yours first?”

“The cottage,” Regina declared, eager to see the place again now it was really, truly theirs.

It may have been Emma’s money which bought the property but the lease held both their names. Regina had beamed when she had seen that, her heart swelling with love for her girlfriend. The drive was shorter than they remembered, a good thing, Regina realised, as she wanted her mother and sister to visit as often as possible. By the time they drove up the puddled drive, the rain had eased to a light sprinkling and they jogged across they yard to shelter under the small porch above the front door.

“Ready?” Emma asked, dangling one of the keys in front of Regina.

Regina nodded and watched as Emma slotted the sliver of metal into the lock. It took a bit of jiggling to twist the key all the way around, the mechanism old and a little rusty, but eventually the door swung open. Both women stood rooted to the spot, staring down the dark corridor before them.

“You go first,” Regina whispered.

“No, you,” Emma replied.

“Why me?” Regina asked.

“I don’t know,” Emma shrugged. “I just thought you might want to be the first over the threshold.”

Regina looked sideways at Emma and they both laughed. Holding out her hand, Emma waited until Regina’s fingers were intertwined with their own.

“Together?”

Regina nodded and, after a moment’s hesitation, the pair walked into the cottage hand in hand. With the door shut behind them and the hall light switched on, illuminating the space, their hands remained clasped.

“Now what?” Regina asked.

“Um, we make a cup of tea?”

“Were you British in a former life?” Regina laughed, leading the way into the kitchen. She peered out of the window through the dreary looking garden and smiled at the sight of the grey horse grazing near the fence.

“Perhaps,” Emma shrugged. “I never found my birth parents, remember? Maybe there’s British blood flowing through my veins.”

“Well, I’m afraid you’re going to be disappointed,” Regina said, closing a cupboard after discovering them all empty. “And do we even have teabags for that matter? Or milk?”

“Milk?” Emma frowned. “I’m not that British.”

Regina laughed. Abandoning the quest for tea, Emma crossed the room and wrapped her arms around the brunette’s waist.

“Welcome home,” she said quietly, kissing the giggling woman’s nose.

Regina sobered at once, the enormity of what had just happened settling upon her at last. This cottage, the perfect English home just half an hour from Chicago, was where she and Emma were going to live for, hopefully, a very long time.

“Welcome home,” Regina repeated, her eyes sparkling with tears.

Emma ducked her head and claimed Regina’s lips, a tender kiss so full of promise and love that the tears spilled over, tracing tracks down Regina’s cheeks until they fell into her hair. She ignored them, rocking up onto her tiptoes to kiss Emma harder, the blonde’s mouth opening at once as her tongue sought entrance. She snaked her hands around Emma’s neck, her fingers toying with the soft hair at the nape. She felt Emma step closer, the blonde’s front pressed against her own, their bodies almost indistinguishable. Emma’s tongue began to stroke her own, chasing it back into Regina’s mouth where it explored and danced and made the brunette feel quite lightheaded.

“Let’s go upstairs,” Emma murmured. “Celebrate properly.”

“Ok,” came the mumbled reply, Regina’s lips still pressed against Emma’s jaw where it had begun to lay a trail of light kisses.

Emma reluctantly pulled away, leading the way out of the room and up the staircase, the wooden floorboards creaking slightly underfoot. The dim grey light from the rainy day fell across the hallway through the open door of the master bedroom, beckoning the two women towards it. They went willingly, almost trancelike, until they stepped into their new room. The bed remained, one of the few pieces of furniture the former owner hadn’t cleared out. When Emma sat down on it, she discovered why. The springs were digging into her ass and she shifted uncomfortably but as she saw Regina reach up to unbutton her own cardigan, she forgot about the metal prods and reached eagerly for her girlfriend.

They lay back on the bare bed, neither one caring about the lack of sheets or the discomfort. Clearly they were going to get a new bed before they moved in but it would do for the moment. Regina rolled on top of Emma, eagerly pulling of the blonde’s damp jacket and t-shirt before removing her own cardigan and blouse. Emma sat up at that point, almost toppling Regina backwards but strong arms caught her, kisses landing on her neck as Emma’s fingers then moved to unclasp her bra, releasing her breasts at last.

Emma’s hands covered them instantly, palming the generous globes a little rougher than usual but Regina head fell back in delight, her hips rocking forwards so her erection pressed against Emma’s stomach. The blonde groaned at the feeling. It had been a week since they had last (and first) had sex and Emma knew that she never wanted to go that long again.

With her teeth capturing Regina’s nipple, Emma began to suck on the brunette’s breast, her tongue teasing over the tortured tip as she worked, the other breast squeezed by her hand. Regina moaned passionately, her cock hardening even more at the feel of Emma’s wet mouth on her breast. She scrambled blindly to remove Emma’s bra as she pushed her breast further into Emma’s eager mouth, desperate for anything the brunette would give her.

Knowing neither of them needed much foreplay, nor considering the bare bedroom a particularly romantic settling, Emma pulled Regina down on top of her again, lips still sealed around a pebbled nipple. Regina pushed her hips downwards as they fell, Emma’s own core clenching as she felt the readiness of her girlfriend. She knew it wasn’t going to be long before she got to feel Regina inside her again. And she was glad.

Eventually Emma rolled Regina over onto her back, shimmied her way down and began to work the zip down on Regina’s slacks. She pulled them off quickly, stood and shed her shorts and underwear in one go. Regina propped herself up on her elbows, eyes dark with arousal as she took in the view of her girlfriend standing naked at the end of the bed, in their own bedroom. Emma smiled almost shyly as she noted the way Regina’s eyes roved hungrily over her body. She liked how she looked. She knew she had a great physique. But she still felt exposed, vulnerable. In a good way though. In a way that meant she was Regina’s and Regina’s only to look at in such a completely open way.

As Emma began to crawl back up the bed, Regina herself pushed her boxers away, her erection springing free and bouncing slightly as it stood proud and stiff between their bodies. Emma let a finger trail up the length of it, circled the tip, before tracing back down the other side until she reached the testicles hanging beneath. She hadn’t touched that part of Regina yet, being unsure if the brunette would be comfortable with Emma paying attention to such a blatantly masculine part of her body. Not that her penis wasn’t male, of course. But stimulating the testicles had been unnecessary so far in their sexual activities. So she glanced up at Regina, searching for permission before she went any further. There was a brief nod.

Her hands cupped the warm skin, holding them lightly for a moment before squeezing. She could feel the two testicles, smaller than most she had experienced, shifting slightly against the scrotum. She looked up at Regina and frowned at what she saw. Regina’s eyes were squeezed shut, her mouth set in a grimace. Emma pulled her hand away at once.

“Sorry,” she said, scrambling up to Regina and kissing her still tense lips. “I’m sorry, beautiful. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. We won’t do that again, ok?”

Regina nodded into the kiss, pulling Emma’s naked body flush on top of hers in an attempt to erase the feeling of the blonde touching her testicles. She had always hated them, always despised that ugly sack which hung awkwardly between her legs. Her penis, perhaps, she could have lived with, especially now she knew how amazing it felt within Emma. But the testicles? No, they were too much. And feeling Emma’s fingers against them had reminded her of the fact that she still wasn’t a woman, no matter how much she felt like one for most of her life. Until that part of her was removed, she was a man. And she didn’t want to be reminded of that. She knew that was contradictory, to want to feel her cock deep inside Emma but resent the testicles which produced her ejaculate, but she didn’t care and it made sense to her. She knew her penis brought Emma pleasure, made her feel good herself. But the testicles? No, they were simply a reminder that she had been born in the wrong body.

“I love you,” Emma whispered as the kiss ended. “I love you, Regina.”

Regina smiled and nodded up at the blonde, knowing Emma was reassuring her that she understood what had happened. They kissed again, Emma shuffling herself above Regina’s body until she was straddling the erect penis. Just as she was about to lower herself, however, Emma’s eyes snapped open

“Wait,” she gasped, looking at the woman below her. “Condom?”

“I don’t have one,” Regina replied. “Do you?”

“No,” Emma sighed, climbing off Regina and rolling onto her back. “Shit.”

Neither woman wanted to stop. They both wanted, needed to feel the other again. And, perhaps more importantly, in their own house for the first time. Regina thought back to all of her conversations with her doctor about her pills and her hormones, wondering.

Suddenly, she turned onto her side, fingers splayed across Emma’s stomach. “Well, hang on, I’m not exactly fertile. I’m on medication which reduces my sperm count, remember?”

“But you could still get me pregnant,” Emma frowned.

“I’ll pull out,” Regina shrugged. “People can do that, right? Pull out before they come?”

“It’s not fool-proof,” Emma said. “But … fuck, yeah, what the hell. I don’t want to wait until we get back to your house.”

She swung her leg back over Regina and in one smooth movement, took her girlfriend’s penis deep inside her. Regina’s shout echoed off the walls; she hadn’t expected that. Emma’s eyes fluttered closed, the delicious feeling of being full making her body quake with delight. She had been craving the feel of the brunette deep inside her all week. She felt Regina twitch against her walls, knowing both of them weren’t going to take long to come, their emotions so intense in the moment.

“Just tell me when you’re close, ok?” Emma said as she began to rock her hips slightly.

Regina nodded and bit her lip. If she thought it had felt good to be inside Emma with a condom, now it was a completely different matter. The warmth, the wetness, the tightness, were all magnified, her dick throbbing as she felt Emma’s body pulsing around her. She knew she wasn’t going to last long.

Emma began to move, riding Regina below her as she lifted herself up and down. Regina reached up above her head, hands wrapping around the headboard rails and gripping tightly, trying to control herself. She watched as Emma moved, breasts bouncing before her, face relaxed in pleasure, her body rising and falling around Regina’s stiffness.

“Emma,” Regina breathed out. “It’s too good.”

“No,” Emma said. “It’s not too good, not yet. Keep going.”

Regina bit her lip and nodded. She reached down with one hand and fumbled with her thumb to find Emma’s clit. The blonde was moving faster, riding harder, and she struggled as her thumb rubbed over the slippery bundle of nerves. When she hit it right, however, Emma let out a gasp of delight, moaned Regina’s name, and began to move even quicker.

“Emma, I’m going to come!” Regina exclaimed, trying to push Emma off her cock before she exploded.

The blonde resisted but eventually fell to the side, turning back around at once just in time to catch the seed from Regina’s penis in her mouth, sucking down every last drop of it, mixed with her own essence coating Regina’s cock. The brunette lay there, groaning and gasping for air, fingers trailing through Emma’s hair as she watched her girlfriend swallow her come. When at last Emma’s mouth detached, she at once reached for the blonde’s neglected core, rubbing furiously on her clit and brought Emma back to the brink of orgasm and then over within seconds.

They lay on the uncomfortable bed, panting and sweaty, for several minutes before either spoke. It was Regina who ended the silence.

“That was stupid,” she remarked. “Amazing, but stupid.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Emma said, rolling onto her stomach and looking at her girlfriend beside her. “I just … you felt so good inside me, I didn’t want it to end.”

“It was still stupid,” Regina remarked. “And I’m not saying I wanted it to end either but an accidental pregnancy is really not what we need right now.”

“Yeah, I know,” Emma repeated. “It was irresponsible, I’m sorry.”

“Good job I have a super low sperm count then, I suppose,” Regina chuckled. “And I think I managed to push you off me before too much came out.”

“You did,” Emma nodded. “I felt it.”

“You can feel it?” Regina asked.

“Faintly,” Emma nodded. “It depends on the person but yes, sometimes I can feel when someone comes inside me.”

“And I didn’t?”

“No, it started just as you were pushing me off,” Emma said.

“Sorry about that,” Regina said.

“No, no, you did the right thing. The sensible thing,” Emma laughed. “Neither of us are ready for a baby. And just to be safe, we can stop at a pharmacy on the way back to Chicago and get the morning after pill.”

* * *

Emma hated packing. She had always known that. When she had moved from her bungalow she had grumbled and complained and forced Ruby to help her. But packing up Henry Mills’ house had been, somehow, less unpleasant. Perhaps, she mused, it was because she was moving in with Regina and literally everything in her life had made her happy since that day the previous weekend. What she hadn’t enjoyed, however, was packing up Henry’s own possessions. As Emma had been the sole heir to his estate, everything had been left exactly as it had been the day he had died. And since Emma hadn’t used most of the rooms, much of his possessions remained. But now the house was on the market and prospective buyers were beginning to come for viewings, Emma knew she needed to deal with some of his things.

She had packed up all his clothes easily enough, throwing them into bags and lugging them down to the local charity shop. His books and artwork she was having appraised for their value and planned to sell off or donate whatever was special and give the rest to more charity shops. She’d even organised a yard sale for his furniture, once again after an antiques dealer had come to check the value of some special pieces. Yes, Emma had made quite a dent in the job at hand. But she had also left the biggest task until last.

The stable door swung open, the odour of musty boxes spilling out into the yard. Emma stood, hands on hips, and frowned at the piles of cardboard boxes which faced her. Henry really had been a hoarder. She pulled out the first box, opened it, and picked up the file on the top. Old accounts for the business. She checked the next few and decided they were all the same. The next few boxes were also business related. Moving a little further inside, she found a few paintings and items of furniture Henry had decided not to put in the house along with stacks and stacks of more boxes. One held bank statements going back to 1972, another contained receipts from the year 1985.

“Seriously, Henry?” Emma scowled as she closed the lid of the box and pushed it towards the ‘dump’ pile.

Turning back to the stable, she reached for the next box. This one, unlike the others, had been taped shut. Reaching for the penknife she had in her pocket, Emma cut a slit and opened the lid. Inside were piles and piles of letters, all sealed and addressed, and all to the same person. Emma let her finger trace over the name inked on the front and sighed.

“Shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: oh yeah, the conclusion on the cliffhangers was that you don’t hate them or me when I write them, you just like to complain. So … complain away!


	26. Reading Henry's Letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Happy Sunday lovely readers!

“Up the stairs and it’s the room at the end of the hall, thanks guys,” Emma directed the delivery men who were walking into the cottage with the new queen-sized bed they had ordered carried carefully between them.

She turned back to her own task of unpacking the kitchen supplies, helped by Regina who had already changed the location of the mugs and glassware three times.

“No, let’s move them back,” the brunette declared just as Emma had finished stacking the plates in a different cupboard. “It makes more sense to have them closer to the kettle than the fridge. We drink more tea and coffee than we do cold drinks.”

“Why don’t we just move the kettle?” Emma suggested, wrapping her arms around Regina from behind and kissing her cheek. “That would be much easier than moving the gazillion mugs we seem to have between us, plus then the cupboard would still be near the fridge, conveniently located for all our drinking needs.”

“Are you making fun of me?” Regina asked.

“Yes, is that ok?”

Regina pouted and Emma laughed, kissing the brunette’s lips until they softened and melded against her own. The embrace was broken seconds later, however, when a car horn sounded from outside.

“That’ll be Zelena and Robin with the rest of my things,” Regina said, pulling away from her girlfriend and heading outside. Emma had driven up from Storybrooke that morning with most of her own boxes crammed into the back of her SUV. There had only been room for Regina to tuck in a few of her kitchenware items away in the footwell before they had driven up to the cottage and begun the moving in process.

Regina’s redheaded sister and her husband were already beginning to unload the trunk of their large car when the couple stepped out into the yard. Emma shook hands with Robin, whom she was yet to meet, and took the large box of books out of Zelena’s arms, carrying it inside. Half an hour later and the hallway was stacked with Regina’s possessions, most of Emma’s own things already unpacked around the house.

“Stay for dinner?” Regina asked as the four of them collapsed onto the couch with a cup of coffee each. “Ma’s watching the kids right?”

“Yes, that would be lovely,” Zelena smiled. “Need some help cooking?”

“Sure,” Regina smiled. “After the coffee and a visit to the stables. You need to meet Harper, Titan, and Betty.”

The horses names had made Emma laugh when she first heard them. Who calls a horse Betty, after all? Although she had to admit that Titan did suit the fiery chestnut who had spooked that morning when she let gate slam shut after Regina entered the field. The brunette had assured her startled girlfriend the animal would calm down when they got the balance of his feed right and he was exercised more often. Emma was sceptical.

“Do you ride too, Emma,” Robin asked, turning to the blonde.

“Um, not exactly,” Emma said, glancing over to the window which looked out over the garden and to the paddocks beyond. She could see the oldest horse, Betty, rubbing her cheek on the fencepost.

“Emma’s not the biggest fan of riding,” Regina added, reaching over and patting the blonde’s leg.

“And yet you bought a house which came with three horses?” Robin frowned. “Seems like a strange decision.”

“Regina wanted to live here,” Emma shrugged simply. “And the cottage is perfect. I can learn to like horses if it will make Regina happy.”

“See, you know when I said I wanted to move closer to the golf club?” Robin asked, turning to his wife and waggling his eyebrows.

“Not gonna happen,” Zelena dismissed at once. “Regina, have you ridden any of the horses yet?”

“No,” Regina replied. “But I was thinking I’d go out tomorrow afternoon if the weather stays nice. Do you want to join?”

“Love to,” Zelena smiled. “I haven’t been on a horse in, goodness, I can’t even remember the last time we were at the stables.”

“I was fourteen,” Regina said quietly. “That was the last time we went. After that, well, Daddy wouldn’t allow us to return.”

There was an awkward silence, both sisters looking sadly at each other and their respective partners not knowing what to say. Emma had been surprised that Regina had brought up Henry, especially given the fact that she knew she herself would have to broach the contents of the cardboard box she had hidden away under the stairs sooner or later.

“Well, it’s about time we both got back in the saddle then,” Zelena said after a while.

“Agreed,” Regina grinned. “And once we’ve assessed their temperaments, maybe you can bring the kids up one weekend. I’m sure they’d love to ride around a little bit.”

“After the operation, I suppose,” Zelena mused.

“Um, yeah, I guess,” Regina nodded.

They hadn’t mentioned the surgery the brunette was about to undergo yet that day. But it was something that Emma rarely stopped thinking about. In six days time her girlfriend would be going under the knife and, well, having her penis removed. She knew there were still things they needed to talk about, things she needed to say and discuss. Which made her realise that Zelena probably had things to say to her sister too, especially as a doctor with knowledge of what the invasive procedure would entail.

“Are you scared?” Zelena asked after a moment.

Regina shrugged. “It’s not the overarching emotion,” she replied. “I’ve been waiting for this for so long, Zee, and now I suppose I just want to get it over and done with.”

Zelena and Robin both nodded their understanding at that and Emma couldn’t help but smile seeing the acceptance and support both seemed to be showing for Regina’s decision. Although Zelena had refused to front the money for the operation in the first place, now it was going ahead, it appeared she was going to stand by her sister every step of the way through the process.

“And Emma, how do you feel about it?”

The question jolted the blonde from her reverie and she turned to stare at Zelena who was looking expectantly back at her.

“Um, I haven’t really thought about it,” Emma said lamely.

“I find that hard to believe,” Zelena replied with a short laugh. “I mean, it’s going to instigate a pretty fundamental change when it comes to your relationship and -.”

“Zelena,” Regina snapped. “That’s enough.”

“No, it’s ok,” Emma said, wanting a chance to address the concerns of Regina’s sister. “And yes, Zelena, you’re right. This operation is going to change our relationship. But for the better. I don’t care about the fact that Regina will no longer have a penis,” Regina blushed at the blatant statement relating to their sex life, “because I know this surgery is going to make my girlfriend happy. She was born in the wrong body and she’s been waiting twenty six years to correct that. I’m just glad I can help in some way.”

“And it’s a very kind thing you’re doing,” Robin added before his wife could speak. “Regina, what is the plan for dinner? I’ve got some meats from the deli in the car if you’d like to use them?”

Emma smiled thankfully at him for diffusing the situation and Robin winked at her. She liked him, Emma decided. He was a little more laid back and easygoing than Zelena who was still looking like she wanted to ask Emma more questions about Regina’s surgery. Luckily the continued discussion about dinner prevented that, however, and soon the four of them were working in the cottage’s large kitchen, preparing a dinner which they ate on the rear terrace, overlooking the garden in the warm summer air.

“We need to get John over,” Regina observed as she glanced around the unruly garden and thought of the landscape gardener her mother was clearly besotted with.

“Have you met him?” Zelena said at the mention of their mother’s boyfriend.

“Yes, haven’t you?”

“No,” Zelena grumbled. “She keeps fobbing me off with excuses. What’s he like.”

As the sisters delved into a gossiping session about their mother’s new partner, Emma and Robin struck up a conversation about her work as a wildlife photographer. Emma had been pleased to spot several rare bird species flying around their new cottage and had already walked over to a nearby lake. Although much smaller than where she was used to shooting her images, the natural area still appeared to be supporting a decent variety of wildlife and she was confident she would be able to continue her photography work on a freelance basis.

By the time Zelena and Robin left, the sun had already set and the pink sky was darkening quickly. Regina and Emma tidied up the kitchen together and then curled up on their new couch in each others arms. They were yet to buy a television but neither woman cared. They were content just to be with each other. Well, Regina was content, Emma was procrastinating.

She kissed Regina’s lips softly, her tongue tracing along the seam as she rolled Regina onto her back. The brunette’s fingernails raked up and down her back, pulling her girlfriend closer. Emma kissed harder, her tongue pushing more forcefully until Regina’s lips parted. The blonde sighed at the taste of her girlfriend, her tongue exploring every inch of the older woman’s mouth. She captured Regina’s lower lip between her teeth and bit down, drawing a moan which grew to a gasp as the pressure increased.

“Ow,” Regina mumbled as Emma’s teeth released her lip.

“Sorry,” Emma said, kissing Regina passionately again, teeth knocking into Regina’s in her enthusiasm.

But Regina pulled away, rolled her head to one side so Emma’s lips fell against her jaw. It didn’t seem to deter the blonde, however, and she kept planting sucking kissing against the skin, nuzzling against Regina’s neck until she found the pulse point of her girlfriend which she began then to suck at in earnest.

“Are you giving me a love bite?” Regina asked, pushing Emma away seconds later. “I have to work tomorrow.”

“Right, sorry,” Emma said, sitting up and running her hand across her face. “Sorry, Gina. I didn’t mean to do that.”

Regina frowned and sat up too, reaching for Emma’s hands and tugging them towards her. The blonde shuffled a little closer but didn’t turn to look at the brunette.

“What’s wrong?” Regina asked quietly.

Emma sighed and shrugged, pulling her fingers from Regina’s grip and twisting them together in her lap. She didn’t even know where to start, nor how to bring up the man she had promised never to speak of. It didn’t matter that Regina had broken her own rule about that twice in the past two weeks. For Emma, Henry Mills was not a subject she was ever going to broach. Except now, she knew she had to. She couldn’t keep the letters a secret from Regina.

“I found something,” Emma began at last. “When I was packing up the manor house in Storybrooke.”

It took Regina a second to realise what Emma was referring to. She had almost forgotten that, since her father had bequeathed everything he owned to Emma, her girlfriend had been required to pack up the entire mansion when she moved in anticipation for its sale.

“Something of my father’s, I presume?” Regina asked.

“Yeah,” Emma nodded.

There was another pause, Emma not wanting to speed up the moment the woman saw the box and Regina not knowing what Emma could possibly have found that had upset her so much. And not wanting to know, she realised.

“Forget it,” Regina said. “Whatever you found, can we just forget it? I don’t want anything of my father’s up here, Emma. This was supposed to be a new start for us.”

“I know,” Emma said, her eyes at last meeting Regina’s, the green orbs filled with tears. “I know what we said, honey, but I couldn’t ignore what I found. I … I had to tell you, to show you.”

“What?” Regina asked. “What was it.”

“Letters,” Emma said. “A box of letters. Every single one of them addressed to you. Must be close to three hundred, I reckon. They’re all sealed and I haven’t opened them. But, well, I thought you might want to read them.”

“Letters addressed to me? Regina?”

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “Regina Mills.”

“Not Jacob?” Regina frowned. She didn’t think her father had ever referred to her by her chosen female name. He had always refused to acknowledge her desire to be known as Regina and had insisted on calling her Jacob right up to the day he drove off and left his family.

“They all say Regina,” Emma replied. “Every single envelope.”

“You didn’t read any of them?” Regina asked.

Emma shook her head. “They’re addressed to you,” she said quietly. “I didn’t want to invade your privacy.”

Regina smiled at the respectful woman beside her but she wouldn’t have minded in Emma had read them. In fact …

“Where are they?” Regina asked.

“Under the stairs,” Emma admitted. “I brought them in case you wanted to read them.”

“I do,” Regina nodded. “But I want you to read them first.”

“What?” Emma frowned. “Why?”

“Because I don’t want to read them if they’re just my father attacking me for who I am from beyond the grave,” Regina replied. “I’m finally in a good place with myself, Emma. I’m ready for this surgery. I’m ready to become the woman I was always supposed to be. I don’t want my father to drag me down.”

“But if I read them and they’re nasty then you’ll still know they were bad because I won’t let you read them,” Emma reasoned.

“True,” Regina nodded. “But at least I won’t know the exact words he used to describe me.”

“You could imagine worse,” Emma pointed out.

“Hardly,” Regina said with a dark chuckle. “I already have the arguments and fights we had all through my childhood in my head. Trust me, it can’t be any worse than that.”

Emma nodded and sighed. “Do you want me to get them now?”

“Will you be able to sleep tonight if we wait?”

Emma couldn’t deny the truth in that statement so she stood up and walked out into the hallway to retrieve the box she had stowed hours before when Regina had been busy fussing over her new horses. She carried it back through to the living room where Regina was sitting up cross-legged and waiting patiently. Emma placed the box on the low coffee table and opened the lid. Regina couldn’t help herself; she peered over the edge and gasped as she saw the sheer number of letters, every one addressed to her in her father’s familiar, spidery handwriting.

“Are they all the same?” Regina asked.

“I have no idea,” Emma admitted. “There’s nothing distinguishing about them, like a number or anything. So, what? I just read any one?”

“Yeah,” Regina nodded. “Pick one.”

“You pick,” Emma said. “If I’m reading it, you pick it.”

Regina narrowed her eyes at her pedantic girlfriend but reached into the box and grasped the first letter she touched, thrusting it into Emma’s lap. She then sat back on the couch, arms folded, watching and waiting. Emma stared at the letter before her for a moment before picking it up. Flipping it over, she slid her fingernail under the sealed flap.

“You sure?” Emma asked, locking her eyes with Regina’s once more.

“Do it,” Regina said.

The sound of the envelope tearing open was magnified in the living room, the ripping sound bouncing off the walls. Regina stuck her finger in the side of her mouth, chewing the nail. When the envelope was completely open, Emma parted the paper and reached inside, pulling out the single sheaf of paper inside. Unfolding it, she began to read.

Regina watched as the blonde’s eyes skated over the words her father had written on the heavy stock paper. She chewed harder, her finger tingling in pain as her teeth dug into the flesh. What was on the paper? What had her father said? What was it that the dead man had wanted to say to his daughter? And using her real name for the first time? What did that mean? Her mind was full of questions and she had to stop herself reaching into the box and pulling out a second letter. But she couldn’t. It the words were hurtful, she didn’t want to read them, she knew that. So she waited, semi-patiently, until Emma at last looked up.

“Well?” she asked, baited-breath. “What did he say?”

Wordlessly, Emma handed over the piece of paper to Regina. With trembling hands, the brunette took the offered letter and began to read.

_February 19th 2011_

_Regina,_

  
_It’s stopped snowing at last and I woke up to the most peaceful whiteness. I can see nothing but a perfect blanket of snow as far as the eye can see from my bedroom window. I remember how much you loved to build snowmen with your sister when you were younger. You’d love it here too. I bet you’d even be able to make that snow horse you always wanted to now you’re a little older._

_A lot older, actually. You’re twenty one now. Although I wonder how old you’ll be when I finally summon up the courage to send these letters. I hope it’s soon. I hope you don’t spend too much more of you life thinking your father hates you. Because I don’t. I never hated you, Regina, never. I’m your father and I always loved you, even if I didn’t show it sometimes. I tried to, I tried to accept how you felt and what or who you told me you were, but it was too much for me at the time. I was weak and close-minded and I let you down. I wasn’t the father I should have been and I will always be sorry for the way I walked out on you and your mother and your sister. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to tell you in person how much I regretted my actions that day._

_Anyway, I’ve got to go now as I’m due at work in an hour. I’ll write again soon. Perhaps I’ll even post the next one._

_All my love,_

_Daddy_

A tear splashed onto the letter beneath her, smudging the ink where it fell as Regina finished. She looked up to see Emma sitting across from her with two more open letters in her hands.

“They’re all the same,” Emma said quietly. “This one says a bit about his day dated from 2010 the other,” she held up the second letter, “is about the summer fair in Norwalk last year. Then both descriptions of his life are followed by an apology for what happened.”

“An apology?” Regina asked. “Or an excuse?”

She wiped her eyes angrily and stood up, throwing the letter back onto the couch. She walked to the far side of the living room and stared out of the window into the dark yard. She could see her own reflection, flushed cheeks and wet eyes staring back at her. She expected Emma to come to her but she didn’t. She wasn’t sure if she was grateful or hurt by that. She wasn’t sure of anything any more.

Her father’s words had rocked her, shaken her very foundations. She had hated her father for what he had done. Lived and fed off that resentment of him for years. Thought of him as this awful, abusive monster of a man who had walked out on her and never looked back. A father who had disowned his own child, all because she had dared to challenge the cultural norms of society and instead followed what she knew to be right for her own body. Yes, she had loathed that man, she had despised him as a human and grown to live with that tainted, damaged, fucked-up relationship between father and daughter. But now? Now she finds out he’s been writing to her sporadically for years and telling her he’s sorry? How was she supposed to feel about that?

“He’s sorry?” Regina shouted, slamming her hand into the window.

Emma sprang to her feet, running over to Regina before she put her hand through the pane of glass, spinning her around and gathering the sobbing woman into her arms.

“He’s sorry!” Regina screamed, her voice muffled into Emma’s hair. “How the fuck can he be sorry, Emma? How can he be sorry for what he did to me and never tried to make amends? Why couldn’t he just have told me? Why couldn’t he have faced me when he was still alive?”

“I know, I know,” Emma soothed.

“No you don’t,” Regina snapped, pushing herself out of Emma’s embrace. “You have no fucking clue what’s going on in my head right now.” She stormed off to the far side of the room and spun on her heel. “You can’t possibly begin to understand how that fucking man ruined my life, Emma.”

“You’re right,” Emma placated. “You’re right, I don’t. But … I mean, he was trying to apologise, Regina. Surely that’s worth something.”

“Words on a piece of paper,” Regina spat. “It’s easy enough to write something down but he clearly wasn’t about to tell me to my face. He didn’t even have the guts to send the fucking things. He just chucked them in a box. For all he knew I would never have found them. I would have spent the rest of my life thinking my father hated me for who I was. He made no effort to ensure I got these letters, Emma. He wrote them, sure. He maybe even meant what he said. But they’re empty words, Emma. Empty.”

“You’re right,” Emma said, crossing towards her girlfriend again but not attempting to hold the woman who now had tears streaming down her beautiful, tortured face. “You’re right, Regina. Your father should have done more. He should have contacted you. Hell, he shouldn’t have ever walked out on you in the first place. But … isn’t it worth something that he at least wrote these letters in the first place?”

“So, what? Now he’s apologised I have to forgive him for everything he did to me? And because he’s dead and I can’t even confront him I just have to accept what he’s written and been like, ‘oh, ok Daddy. All’s forgotten, let’s move on.’ No! I can’t fucking do that, Emma. He hurt me. He hurt my family. He couldn’t accept me and his reaction to who I was made me question myself too. After he left, for weeks I wondered whether I was right to have insisted people call me Regina. I wondered if I could go back to being Jacob. I wondered if I could perhaps learn to live with this alien body which I loathed so much. He made me question who I am, Emma. How am I ever supposed to forgive him?”

“You’re not,” Emma said. “You’re not, Regina. I’d never ask you to do that. Never. We can forget the letters. We’ll burn them, whatever you want. Just, please, come to me.”

She stood there, arms outstretched, her cheeks wet with tears. Just desperate to hold the distraught woman against her once more, soothe away the pain in any way she could. Regina hesitated for a moment before she ran across the room and fell into Emma’s arms, her body wracked with sobs. The pair collapsed on the couch, overcome with emotions and cried and cried until their eyes ached and there were no more tears to fall. Regina burrowed herself into Emma’s side, the strong arms around her body holding her tight, making her feel safe, feel loved, feel accepted. She sighed and sniffled and drew herself impossibly closer, eternally grateful for the woman who was stroking through her hair. She mumbled apologies for having shouted but Emma brushed them aside with kisses to her temple and declarations of her love and understanding.

When at last Regina fell asleep, Emma extricated herself from the koala-like grip and gathered up the box and scattered letters. She left the house, crossed the yard, and squeezed herself through the broken garage door into the dark room. It was full of clutter, unwanted things the previous owner had left behind. She walked right to the back and tucked the box away behind a wooden wardrobe warped by dampness. She knew she had promised Regina they would burn the letters but she just got the feeling that perhaps such an irreversible act would be regretted some time in the future. She understood Regina’s anger. She understood her pain and her hatred for her father. But at some point, maybe Regina would be in a place where she was ready to read her father’s words.

By the time she returned to the house, Regina was curled around a couch cushion, still sleeping. Emma gently roused her and the two made their way upstairs to their bedroom. The new bed stood proudly in the middle of the room, fresh sheets already adorning it. Regina crawled between the covers fully clothed before Emma had even brought her toothbrush from the bathroom. She sighed and put the toothbrush down; one night wouldn’t damage her girlfriend’s beautiful smile. She pulled back the sheets and awkwardly undressed the unconscious woman, leaving Regina in just her boxers. She then returned to the bathroom, brushed her own teeth and changed into her pyjamas. Minutes later, she was carefully spooning Regina’s sleeping body, protective arms wrapped around the emotionally exhausted woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: there was mention of this getting boring … I hope I’ve spiced things up a bit. Sorry for the angst.


	27. A Sisterly Ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: this may be the last chapter of the week as I’m off on holiday and then not back until next Wednesday, sorry!

Emma woke slowly, her head foggy. She mumbled as she felt soft lips pressed against her cheek, a warm body moving beside her own. Regina’s throaty laugh made her tingle inside and she cracked an eye open, peering blearily into her girlfriend’s face as she smiled at her from her pillow.

“Morning,” Regina said quietly.

“Good morning,” Emma replied, glad to see a grin on Regina’s face once more. “How are you this morning?”

“It’s our first morning in our cottage, so I’d say I was pretty damn amazing,” Regina grinned, leaning towards Emma and placing a chaste kiss against the blonde’s still sleepy lips.

Emma’s brain woke up just as Regina was retreating and she chased after her, capturing her mouth in a passionate kiss as she rolled Regina onto her back and straddled the almost naked woman. Regina moaned in delight at the dominant act and stroked her hands up and down Emma’s sides before finally tugging the pyjama top over her head.

“We need to christen this bed, remember?” Regina asked when Emma quirked an eyebrow at the suggestive and assertive move. “Last week didn’t count because we threw that bed away.”

“You won’t hear me complaining!” Emma grinned. “But did you bring -?”

She was cut off when Regina reached over and pulled the box of condoms from the top drawer of the bedside table. Emma laughed.

“You brought the old ones with you?”

“Well there didn’t seem to be much point in buying new once since we’re not going to have any need for them in a few days time,” Regina reminded her, tossing the box onto the table and beckoning the blonde back towards her.

She went willingly, as always.

* * *

Regina and Emma wiled away the hours until Zelena was due for the horse riding expedition tidying and unpacking. If Emma hated packing, she absolutely despised unpacking. But with Regina by her side it was a little more bearable. By late morning the kitchen was completely finished and they made their way through to the large living room. Emma loved the cosy, cottage feel to the low-ceilinged room and sat cross-legged in front of the built-in cupboard beside the fireplace stacking their joint DVD collection in alphabetical order whilst Regina contemplated where to hang their artwork. And by artwork, she meant Emma’s photographs.

The blonde had initially complained at displaying her own work, claiming it seemed too obnoxious and bigheaded for her liking. But when Regina pointed out that the bungalow where Emma had lived when they first met had been covered in her photos, the younger woman relented and allowed Regina to hang what was admittedly her favourite ever shot of a pair of swans gliding across the lake with some cygnets in tow behind the new couch.

After lunch they wandered out into their garden, surveying the tangled weeds and overgrown flower patches with their hands on their hips. Neither woman was particularly green-fingered but nor did they want to live with the jungle which currently occupied the back of their beautiful cottage. They set to work on either side of the space, tugging up weeds and tossing them into a pile. Regina winced and glanced around to see if Emma had noticed when she accidentally pulled up what she suddenly realised was a wild strawberry plant. Emma loved the tiny sweet fruit they beared. After attempting to bury it, snapped roots and all, back in the soil, Regina made her way down the garden until she reached the wooden gate which led to the paddock.

She could see the two younger horses at the far end, grazing calmly and not taking the slightest bit of notice of her. Betty however, came plodding towards her as soon as she spotted her new owner, nostrils sniffing out a treat on her approach. Regina reached into her pocket and pulled out a packet of mints. Placing one on the palm of her hand, she smiled as the velvety lips snaffled it up, the crunching sound of the tiny candy heard seconds later. Regina patted Betty’s neck and rubbed behind her ears, a sweet spot she had already discovered.

“Got bored of gardening already?” Emma asked, sidling up behind her girlfriend and looking slightly apprehensively at the horse now rubbing its cheek on the gate post.

“Perhaps,” Regina shrugged. “You know I’m not one for plants.”

“Shame,” Emma mused, quirking an eyebrow and looking away from her girlfriend and out across the paddock.

“Shame?” Regina frowned. “Why?”

With a smirk, Emma produced the posey of flowers she had been holding behind her back. As soon as Regina had not so subtly slipped off to the end of the garden, Emma had gathered together some summer flowers to give to the beautiful brunette. Regina gasped at the sweet gesture and took them from Emma’s hand.

“Thank you,” she smiled, kissing Emma on the cheek. “They’re gorgeous. Come on, let’s go and put them in water and get washed up before Zee gets here.”

“So the gardening is officially abandoned?” Emma asked. Regina nodded. “Thank God for that!” the blonde exclaimed. “I’m fairly sure I pulled up a small tree and a few vegetables in the ten minutes you left me alone over there.”

Regina laughed. “You think I did much better? Don’t worry, I’ll call Jonathan tonight and ask him to come and take a look some time next week. I might not like gardening but it doesn’t mean I want to look at this mess every day for the rest of our lives.”

“The rest of our lives?”

Regina swallowed thickly, cheeks flushed. She knew she and Emma were committed to each other. She knew they had declared their love for one another. Hell, they had even bought a house together. But saying those words out loud implied … more.

“I mean … I didn’t mean … I just meant -.”

“I know what you meant,” Emma said, stepping up to the flustered woman and pulling her into her arms. “And I hope we’re here for the rest of our lives too. But perhaps we should get next week out the way before we discuss the future, right?”

Regina nodded. There were times when she forgot she was just days away from the operation she had been waiting years to undergo. Although she had told Emma the basics of what was going to happen on the operating table on Friday, she knew the blonde still had some more questions about how the operation would affect Regina over the coming weeks, months, and even years. She had invited Emma to attend her final consultation with her doctor the following Wednesday, thinking it would be best for the two of them to be able to discuss any medical questions directly with the man who would be performing the operation. Emma had accepted the invitation at once, all the while reassuring Regina that whatever confusion or concerns she had about the operation, she was one hundred per cent behind the brunette’s decision. It was this fierce loyalty and support for which Regina was so grateful. No one but her mother had ever been so understanding when it came to Regina’s gender dysmorphia and she couldn’t even fathom how she might be feeling if she was facing the upcoming week without the blonde by her side. Luckily for her, she didn’t have to find out.

* * *

Zelena arrived soon after the flowers had been carefully arranged in a little glass vase and placed on the coffee table. The two sisters headed straight out to the stables, leaving Emma to clean the rear living room, the task of which suddenly became of utmost importance.

“She really is scared of horses, isn’t she,” Zelena observed as the two of them made their way down to the stable block.

“They’re new to her,” Regina shrugged. “I hope she’ll come to like them in time.”

Zelena was sceptical but said nothing. She also didn’t say how utterly crazy she thought it was for the two women to have bought a house complete with three horses a week before her sister’s operation. Zelena Mills wasn’t known for holding her tongue but she didn’t want to dampen Regina’s happy mood. She hadn’t seen her little sister smiling so much for as long as she could remember. A little self control was a small price to pay for that privilege.

The stables were well equipped and clean, thanks to the neighbour who had been caring for the animals ever since the previous owner moved to the city. Regina had already inspected the tack and had been impressed with the quality of the saddles. Given her spare appendage, she appreciated a comfy seat. Not that that would be an issue for long, she thought to herself as she slipped a head collar onto Titan and led him over to the stable block.

She groomed the beautiful chestnut as he ate a little food whilst her sister brushed Harper. The usually excitable gelding was surprisingly calm and Regina guessed he was rather bored of being in the field and was looking forward to getting out for a ride. She felt the same, she realised. It had been far too long since she had sat in a saddle; she only hoped she remembered what to do, given she had offered Harper, clearly the more docile and reliable of the two horses, to her sister who had always been the weaker rider.

Once they were tacked up, they led the horses out into the afternoon sunlight where a large log beside the stables acted as a mounting block. Betty wandered over to inspect the activity but quickly realised she wasn’t invited and returned to eating. Zelena mounted first and settled herself in the saddle quickly before Regina walked Titan up to the log. She gathered the reins in her hand, gripped the front and back of the saddle tightly and put her foot in the stirrup.

As soon as she felt the smooth leather beneath her, all apprehensions disappeared. She was back where she belonged. A warm glow flowed through her veins and she patted Titan’s neck before nudging him with her heels and moving him towards Zelena. He was immensely responsive, she discovered at once. Probably because he had been a racehorse in his youth. Another trait of racehorses, however, was being spooked easily. Which was why the appearance of Emma at the little wooden gate caused him to surge forwards slightly, bumping into Harper who barely flinched, used to the chestnut’s erratic behaviour.

“Sorry,” Emma said as Regina turned her steed towards her. “Are you ok?”

“Fine,” Regina nodded, smiling. “Come to see us off?”

“I was curious,” Emma admitted. “Um, how are you getting out of the field?”

Regina frowned. “The gate.”

“But you’re on the horses,” Emma stated. “Are you just going to get off to open it and then back on cos that seems like a lot of effort?”

“You can unhook gates from horseback,” Regina explained. “At least, if the horse is behaving. I suspect gate-opening might have to be Zelena’s responsibility, judging by Titan’s high spirits.”

Emma hesitated for a moment before speaking. “Want me to do it?”

Regina beamed at the offer, knowing it would be the first time the blonde had actually entered the paddock. Perhaps she felt a little more at ease knowing two humans were sitting astride the large animals and controlling them. Theoretically, of course.

“Sure,” Regina grinned. “Come on in.”

Emma glanced up at Titan’s face. The horse blinked back at her, unaware of the blonde’s thundering heart. She reached out and flicked up the latch. Titan did nothing. Harper had already lowered her head and was munching at the grass; Zelena seemed unaware of her horse’s green as she watched her sister and Emma interact with curiosity. The blonde closed the gate behind her and then stepped forwards. Still Titan remained stock-still.

“He’s looking at me,” Emma mumbled.

“He’s just interested,” Regina reassured her girlfriend. “Come on, walk beside me and we’ll go over together.”

She dug her heels lightly into Titan’s side and, good as gold, he walked steadily forwards. Emma fell into step beside the colossal animal and when Harper realised she was being left behind, relented to Zelena’s rein tugging and kicking and trotted to catch up. Emma’s eyes widened as she saw the redhead approaching quickly but Regina just explained that horses liked to ride together and separation didn’t suit them.

They soon arrived at the larger gate which led out onto the cottage’s second set of fields and the bridle path leading to the town. Emma hurried forwards and opened the latch, swinging it back carefully and standing out of the way.

“Thanks, love,” Regina said, blowing a kiss to the blonde who still looked a little nervous.

“Will you be ok?” Emma asked, as first Zelena and then Regina made their way through the open gate.

“I’ll be fine,” Regina promised, tapping the hard riding hat she was wearing. “We’re both competent riders, even if we are a little rusty. And we’re not going to go far. I reckon we’ll be back in about an hour.”

“Ok,” Emma said, sounding unconvinced. “Have fun, I guess. I love you.”

“Love you too,” Regina smiled before she turned Titan towards Zelena and the pair set off over the lush grass.

Emma watched them walking away for and while and then turned to head back to the cottage. Before she’d even taken a step however, she stopped dead in her tracks. Betty was stood a few feet from her, looking curiously at the new woman now standing in her field. Emma sucked in a breath. The name might have been funny but she saw no humour in being metres away from such a huge animal. Trying to stay calm, Emma wracked her brain, trying to remember what Regina had told her about horses.

No sudden movements. She didn’t think she could move even if she wanted to. It was like her feet were cemented to the floor.

No loud sounds. Her voice had gone. If she could have, she probably would have shouted to Regina for help. But she couldn’t.

Let the horse come to you. Emma supposed she had no other option but to wait for Betty to either come up and greet her or lose interest and walk away so Emma could escape. She bit her lip, trying to control her nerves. After all, she had just been standing even closer to Titan, upon whom Regina was actually sitting! But it was different somehow. Emma trusted Regina not to let her horse hurt the blonde. Now, however, everything was up to Betty.

The large brown horse stepped forwards slowly, eyes roving over the statue-like blonde. Another step. Her neck extended, nostrils quivering with curiosity. Emma gasped as she remembered something. Regina had left a multi-packet of mints on the kitchen table, citing them as horse treats but Emma had nabbed a roll for herself. She reached into her pocket and slowly withdrew the candy. Unwrapping one, she placed it in her hand, as she had watched Regina do, and held it out for Betty, a kind of peace offering. She squeaked as the mint disappeared in a second as Betty’s lips devoured it. She watched as the horse crunched down the treat and felt herself relax a little. She wasn’t dead yet, after all. Holding out another mint, Betty stepped closer and ate it gratefully. Five minutes left and all Emma had left was an empty candy wrapper but she had a smile on her face and was beginning to think that perhaps horses weren’t so bad after all.

* * *

“What painkillers are they going to be using in the days after the operation,” Zelena asked, the umpteenth medical question she had shot at her sister since they had started their ride.

“I don’t know,” Regina sighed. “They don’t tell patients this stuff, Zee. If you want you can have my doctor’s number and you can ask him yourself.”

Zelena ignored the offer and continued her questioning. “And you know they say you can’t walk for two weeks, so when are you going to go back to work?”

“I’ve got two months paid leave,” Regina said. “But to be honest I’m not sure I even want to go back after that.”

“Why not?” Zelena frowned.

“It’s a crappy perfume stall in a department store,” Regina sighed. “I’m 26, Zee. I want more out of life than spritzing rich people and spouting crap about the amazing scents of rosewater and sandalwood. I know I didn’t go to university but perhaps it’s time I did. I got good grades in high school but I wasn’t ready to continue my studies at eighteen. Maybe now I’m more confident in myself, and after the operation too, maybe this is the time I finally go and get that degree.”

Zelena had always wondered whether her younger sister had regretted not going off to college. Sure, she had understood her reasons at the time: the woman was still coming to terms with who she was and perfecting her medication balance. There was far too much in her life already to pile lectures and essays on top. But she had visited Zelena a few times during her time at med school and had always worn a certain look of longing as she walked through the campus. Perhaps now Regina would finally be able to fulfil her potential.

“And Emma?” Zelena asked as she and Harper led the way down a smaller bridle path into a wooded area. “What would she make of you going back to school?”

“I’m sure she’d be supportive,” Regina said, realising as she spoke that she’d never mentioned her secret desire to return to studying to her girlfriend.

“You’ve not discussed it yet?”

“No,” Regina said quietly.

“Why not?” Zelena probed.

“Because we’ve had other things to talk about,” Regina snapped. “My transgender identity, her former best friend attacking me, my operation. I didn’t think it was a good time to bring it up.”

Zelena’s eyebrows rose at her sister’s reaction. Sure, siblings fought but the relationship between she and Regina had been fairly friendly in recent years. The only arguments they’d had, Zelena realised, had been about Emma.

“Why do you get so defensive of her?” Zelena asked. “Every time I imply the slightest problem or give a hint of criticism when it comes to Emma, you explode.”

“I love her,” Regina replied simply. “That’s what you do for the people you love. You protect them.”

“Protect her from what?” Zelena frowned. “I wasn’t attacking Emma. I was merely asking if you’d told her and if not, why not. That’s just a question, Gina.”

Regina sighed and glanced sideways at her sister. They were riding side by side down a dirt path which wound its way through the trees. The two horses walked perfectly side by side and seemed very happy to be out, striding along without any encouragement.

“We’ve been through a lot already, Zee,” Regina said quietly. “Emma has had to put up with so much shit when it comes to my life and, I don’t know, sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve her. Or perhaps that she doesn’t deserve what I’m putting us through.”

“She loves you, sis,” Zelena said simply. “You’d have to be blind not to see that. I’ve never met a couple so completely besotted with each other. It’s sickening actually,” she added, earning her a sideways glower from her sister. “Seriously though, the two of you have something special and I get that it hasn’t always been easy and I know that what’s coming next is possibly going to be even harder but I trust that Emma is going to be beside you every step of the way.”

“You really think so?” Regina asked, turning to her sister with her eyes shining with tears,

“I know so,” Zelena said. “The two of you are meant to be together.”

“Thanks,” Regina said quietly. “That means a lot.”

“You know what means a lot to me?” Zelena asked, gathering her reins. “Winning.”

Regina gasped as Harper and Zelena shot forwards, the grey having received a sharp dig in the ribs and exploded into a gallop. It took Titan and Regina a few seconds to realise what was happening but as soon as the ex-racehorse glimpsed the rear end of his riding companion streaking away from him, every muscle in his body tensed before he too shot forwards. Regina gripped the saddle with her knees as they rocketed forwards, knuckles white on both the reins and Titan’s mane as she bent over his neck, her steed hurtled up the gentle hill in pursuit of Harper and Zelena. As soon as she realised that Titan knew exactly what he was doing, Regina began to relax and enjoy the exhilarating feeling of speeding along, the warm summer air buffeting against her face and her hair streaming behind her. It didn’t take long for the chestnut to catch up with Harper who was already beginning to sweat and puff. They streaked past, reaching the crest of the hill first where Regina sat upright and pulled the excited horse to a stop. Zelena appeared grumpily beside her a few seconds later.

“Don’t ever try and race an ex-racehorse,” Regina laughed as she saw her sister’s sulking expression.

“Can we swap horses?” Zelena pouted, looking longingly at her sister’s ride who was now bouncing from hoof to hoof with excitement at having won the race.

“If he keeps doing this, yeah,” Regina said, wincing as the jolting movement meant her testicles were being squashed against the saddle.

They turned for home and walked slowly back down the hill they had galloped up in silence. At the bottom, however, Zelena couldn’t help but ask the question she had been dying to know the answer to for months now and Regina’s earlier comment seemed to open the door.

“What’s it like?” she asked. “Having sex with a penis?”

Regina’s eyes widened and she turned to her sister. Although the two of them were close and they had spoken about Regina’s gender issues, the subject of sex had never really been broached between them. Until now.

“Well, I can’t really compare it yet, can I?” Regina admitted. “Why don’t you just ask Robin?”

“Because Robin’s a guy and he just describes it as tight and wet.”

Regina made a face. She did not want to think about her sister and her husband having sex and regretted ever bringing Robin up.

“Well, I suppose that’s an accurate description,” Regina reasoned. “But if you’re looking for a slightly more descriptive or emotive explanation, I suppose I’d say it was something I consider a great privilege.”

“Sex?”

“No, well, yes, but no. I meant the act of penetration,” Regina said. “It means Emma is accepting and welcoming me into her body. I feel honoured to be allowed to do that to her, I suppose. She claims she likes the feeling of power when someone’s inside her and I think she’s right. She does have all the power because it’s up to her when we actually … do it.”

“Privilege?” Zelena frowned. “An unusual word choice.”

“Seems fitting in this political climate,” Regina shrugged. “When rich white men are getting away with rape because they consider it their right to have sex with whoever they wish, I think it’s important to recognise that getting consent and feeling welcomed by the person you’re with is not only crucial but something which men should seen as a privilege, not a right.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Zelena nodded. “A psychiatrist friend of mine is working with a rape victim at the moment. The guy got eleven months because he’s a star athlete on the college basketball team and the judge went easy on him. She’s traumatised for life by what he did to her. This system we have in America isn’t working and something needs to be done about it.”

Regina agreed wholeheartedly. She knew how hard her life had been because of her transgender identity. She had felt stigmatised and judged and marginalised her entire life. Until she met Emma. And even then she knew she was still vulnerable, and that society and the country were aligned against her. But she had Emma, so it was easier to bear. It had taken her so long for her to finally feel comfortable in her own body and that acceptance didn’t mean she wasn't hurt when she saw homophobic or sexist slogans or overheard similar conversations in the city. But she was at last able to rise above it, prioritise her own happiness over what others thought of her. She knew her country had a long way to go until the LGBT community and all of those who identified as non-binary were accepted as equal with a white, straight, middle-class man. She knew it was going to take years, decades perhaps, for all the changes to take place. But she had faith that they would, eventually. It would be a long, arduous road, but she hoped that if Americans were able to unite for what was right, what seemed impossible to her when she was fourteen, would become reality soon enough. An equal, fair, and just society who accepts people for who they are and doesn’t discriminate against them. One day, it will happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m not American but I watched the election results roll in yesterday and felt my heart break. My bisexual American flatmate was sat beside me in tears. My LGBT friends in America are terrified and saddened and feeling completely betrayed by their fellow countrymen. There’s a lot of hate out there in the world at the moment. A lot of loathing and anger and heartbreak. If anyone needs to talk, feel free to PM me; I’m here for all of you.


	28. Preparing for Hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: sorry for the delay my lovely readers. I was busy getting seriously burnt on a desert island. I’m now back and brown so yay! Thanks for waiting semi-patiently … This chapter is definitely NSFW.

Emma had always hated hospitals. She thought it was probably some residual, innate, subconscious connection her body made to the first few months of her life. As a week old baby she was found on the side of the road close to death, her core temperature hovering just above the point at which she could no longer survive. The man who had found her had got her to the emergency room with minutes to spare and the doctors had worked hard to gently bring her body temperature back up. It had been ten weeks before she had been discharged and taken to a group home for abandoned babies. She didn't remember any of this, of course. But she still hated hospitals. 

So she sat beside Regina, more nervous than the brunette herself as they waited for the appointment. Regina was flicking through a magazine, seemingly unaware of Emma's internal torment. The blonde was glancing up and down the stark, white corridor, eyes following both doctors and patients alike as they passed. But then Regina reached over, slipping her hand into Emma's and squeezing softly. Perhaps she had noticed, Emma mused as she felt herself relax slightly. If Regina wasn't worried, why should she be?

They were called through to Doctor Whale's office only five minutes after their appointment was supposed to have begun. A small man with white-blonde hair, he apologised profusely for keeping them waiting before gesturing to the two chairs with a smile. 

"So you must be the famous Emma," he said with a grin as he extracted Regina's file from the stack on his desk and placed it in front of him. 

"Not sure about the famous part but yes, I'm Emma," she replied. 

"Regina's told me all about you," Whale said. "And I'm very glad you're here today. It's important that the partners are also a part of this process and understand what is going to happen and the aftermath of the operation itself."

"Yeah, I do have a few questions," Emma admitted.

"Excellent," Whale smiled. It was always a good sign when his patients' partners expressed genuine interest and had done some research prior to the meeting. "Well how about I tell you a bit about the operation and the aftercare and then you can ask any questions I don't answer with that."

Emma nodded her agreement and settled back in her chair, fingers interlaced with Regina's. 

"So the fundamental aim of the operation is going to be to remove the scrotum and use the skin of the penis in its inverted form to make a vagina," Whale said, so matter-of-factly that Emma blushed. "The scrotum is easy enough to remove and we'll do that first although we may use some of the skin to form labia if there isn't enough from the penis. The next step is to cut into the penis. We basically peel the skin away, remove the flesh around the urethra which we then shorten, and then use the skin flaps to perform the inversion. This takes time but is very successful. We should also be able to form a neo-clitoris out of the sensitive tip of the penis so, in time, Regina will be able to experience sexual stimulation and pleasure. The surgery itself should take about five hours and I have an expert team assisting me throughout.

“After the surgery, I'd like to keep Regina in the hospital for about four days and then she will be able to go home. The sutures we are using will be dissolving ones, so there should be no need for more invasive procedures afterwards although I will want to seen her weekly for checkups for at least two months. There are things Regina or the two of you will need to do once she is home. The new vagina will effectively be an open wound and therefore it will attempt to heal itself by either side fusing together. You'll need to use a dilator with lubricant regularly to keep the vagina opening clear. Obviously the area is particularly sensitive to infections, so don't hesitate to come back in if something doesn't feel or look right. There will be some bleeding and discharge for a few weeks but they should both slow and stop within a couple of months. And after that you'll need to continue using the dilator for at least six months to a year to stop the vagina from healing over and to reinforce its new shape."

Doctor Whale finished his explanation and clasped his hands together on the desk. He looked from Regina, who was supremely calm, to Emma, who was white as a sheet. 

"Questions?" he invited. 

Emma glanced at Regina who nodded her encouragement. The brunette had been completely non-plussed by the graphic description of what was to happen to her in two days time but she knew Emma had thing she needed to ask. 

"Um, yeah," Emma nodded. "What about the prostate? Cos I was watching this tv show and a transgender woman who had undergone surgery got prostate cancer. Do you remove it?"

"Usually, no," Whale explained. "We feel that it's unnecessary and its presence can help with women's sexual stimulation in the future. However we would recommend that Regina go for prostate checks regularly just as any man would."

Emma nodded her understanding. "Ok and in the future, when it comes to ... sex," she looked sideways at Regina who simply smiled at her. "Is it more delicate than a natural vagina? Do I need to be careful?"

Whale couldn't help but smile at the adorable look of concern Emma was wearing. 

"We don't recommend sex for at least three to four months after the surgery," Whale said. "Although some couples find using the dilator can be pleasurable after the initially painful few weeks. And yes, at first you will need to take things slow but I would anticipate that by this time next year, Regina's vagina will be able to withstand anything your own vagina could."

Emma blushed deeply and looked at her knees, knowing her question had made it sound like the two of engage in regularly rough sex which was not the case. Regina chuckled and leaned over to kiss the embarrassed woman on the cheek. 

"It's ok," Regina said softly. "Now is the time to ask these these."

Emma nodded her understanding and slowly raised her head. She had one question left and took a few breaths before asking it. 

"What if it's not successful?"

"I have an excellent success rate," Whale reassured. "I have spoken with Regina extensively about our surgery plans and I am very familiar with Regina's penis so I know what to expect. As far as I'm concerned, there's no reason to expect anything less than a perfect result."

Emma nodded her understanding and managed a weak smile. She was glad Whale was confident. She was glad Regina trusted her doctor. But she was not looking forward to Friday when she would be sat in that same hospital, waiting to hear how it went. 

* * *

They drove back to the cottage in relative silence, Emma too busy going over the deluge of information she had just received to start a conversation. Regina seemed to know her girlfriend needed some time alone with her thoughts. When they arrived at their new home, Emma disappeared into the field where a pond for her ducks was being dug. She stood with her arms folded, watching the machine carve out the earth to make the new habitat. After fifteen minutes, Regina appeared behind her with a cup of tea.

“They should be finished by tomorrow afternoon,” Emma said as she took the drink with a nod of thanks.

“I can’t wait to watch them swimming around in it,” Regina said, looping her arm around Emma’s waist and resting her head on the blonde’s shoulder. “I’ll be able to watch them from the living room window once I get home.”

Emma nodded but said nothing, her mouth set in a firm line. Regina noticed the stiffened body beneath her cheek and squeezed her arms slightly.

“I’m going to be fine, Emma,” she whispered. “Everything is going to go exactly as Doctor Whale described it today. This time next week I promise you I will be sat in our kitchen drinking another cup of tea and chatting with you about what we’re going to have for dinner.”

“What if you’re not though,” Emma said, her eyes shining with tears. “What if something goes wrong, Gina? I can’t lose you, honey, I can’t.”

“You’re not going to lose me,” Regina said calmly. “It might be a complicated operation but it’s not a life threatening one. No one’s ever died having sex reassignment surgery. And even if it was dangerous, I’d still have it done. I don’t belong in this body, Emma, you know that. I … I thought you supported my decision.”

Emma turned to Regina and hugged her tightly. “I do,” she assured the brunette. “I completely support you, Gina. I know this is what you want and I know it’s what you need to finally be who you were born to be. But that doesn’t mean I’m not still scared and it doesn’t mean I’m not going to be pacing up and down the hospital corridors for all those hours whilst you’re lying on that table being cut up.”

“They’re not cutting me up,” Regina said, pulling back so she could look into Emma’s teary eyes. “They’re correcting my biology, remember? That’s how you referred to this operation months ago. And yes, you can be worried on Friday. My mother will be right beside you doing the exact same thing and I love you both for doing that. But you needn’t. I’m going to be fine. I’m going to come through this and when I do, I’m finally going to be the person I was always supposed to be.”

* * *

When Regina woke the following morning Emma was gone. A note on the kettle told Regina the blonde had gone out to do some early morning photos of the late summer birds before they began to fly south for the winter. Regina spent her time until her girlfriend’s return preparing her hospital bag for the following few days and unpacking the last of her possessions from the move. She then settled on the couch and began to reread Man Into Woman. She wasn’t sure reading the memoir of someone who had died after undergoing the same operation she was about to endure was the best way to prepare for her surgery but she somehow found the book comforting. Perhaps it was because she appreciated and understood so much of what Lili Elbe said about her confused identity.

She was so immersed in the text that she didn’t even hear Emma return home shortly before lunch. The blonde leaned against the doorframe for a moment, watching as her girlfriend read fervently before moving into the room and finally garnering the brunette’s attention.

“Hey, how was the photoshoot?”

“Good,” Emma smiled, depositing her camera bag on the coffee table and sitting down in the space just vacated by Regina’s legs. “How was your morning?”

“Relaxing,” Regina said as she lay her calves across Emma’s lap. “I found that recipe book with the blackberry and apple jelly recipe in so we can make some in September.”

Emma grinned at that. She had fallen in love with a jar of jelly she had found in Regina’s house one day and had been craving more ever since she had finished the last of it the previous month. She was looking forward to making some with her girlfriend after the operation. Emma swallowed. She had been distracted by her work this morning but now the realisation of what was going to happen to Regina the following day overwhelmed her.

“Come here,” Regina said, reaching for the blonde as she saw the fear and worry creep onto her features.

The two of them cuddled up on the couch, content just to lie in silence and both reassure and be reassured by the presence of the other. Emma buried her face in Regina’s hair and took a deep breath, savouring the familiar scent of her shampoo. Regina’s hands stroked up and down her back gently, soothingly.

“I thought I’d cook us dinner,” Emma said after a while. “Do you have any requests?”

“Just a salad and some chicken in a nice sauce will be fine,” Regina replied. “It’s not like it’s my last meal, Emma.”

Biting back the urge to say that it might be, Emma instead pointed out that hospital food left much to be desired and therefore Regina should make the most of having semi-decent home cooking whilst she could.

“But you can’t cook,” Regina teased lightly.

“I can try,” Emma shrugged. “Come on, if you’ve unpacked all the recipe books we can find something exotic to try and head into town to get the ingredients.”

* * *

Emma regretted that decision several hours later when she despondently scraped the majority of the meal she had cooked into the trash. Regina tried to assure her that she wasn’t too hungry and she was fine with just cheese on toast but Emma moped and scowled for the rest of the evening. It wasn’t until she emerged from their ensuite bathroom after brushing her teeth that a smile finally graced her lips once more.

“What’s this?” she asked, eyes roving over the silk clad figure before her.

“Consider it a send off,” Regina suggested from where she was perched on the end of the bed, a pale pink silk neglige shimmering through the dimly lit room.

“Quite the send off,” Emma said, crossing the room and kneeling in front of the brunette. “You look beautiful, Regina.”

“Thank you,” Regina said, bending forwards to kiss Emma’s upturned lips. “And so do you, when you smile.”

“I ruined your dinner,” Emma mock-whined. “I was allowed to sulk.”

“Fine but sulking is over,” Regina said. “Now it’s time for silk … and to suck.”

Emma’s eyes blew wide. She would never get over hearing Regina talking dirty and she hoped she would never have to. Hands resting on Regina’s bare thighs, Emma slowly pushed the material upwards, revealing more and more skin until, at last, the already hard penis came into view.

“Are you going to miss it?” Regina asked Emma took her erection gently in her hand.

“No,” Emma replied at once.

Regina sighed and tipped Emma’s head back with a finger beneath the blonde’s chin and looked deep into green eyes.

“You can tell me the truth,” Regina said quietly. “I want you to tell me the truth, Emma.”

“I love you,” Emma said firmly. “Not your body parts.”

Regina sighed. “That’s not what I asked.”

Emma bit her lip, hesitating. Regina always knew when she was lying and Emma herself hated doing so, especially to her girlfriend.

“I will miss it,” she admitted. “But only the sensations it can give me when it’s inside me. Your fingers and your mouth will be more than enough for me, however. And regardless of what you won’t have after the operation, I’m already looking forward to exploring our sex life with your neo-vagina.”

Regina laughed at the phrase and kissed Emma hard, pulling the blonde to her feet and then lying back on the bed with Emma on top of her. They rolled so they were both lying on their sides, legs intertwines as their tongues caressed. Regina could feel her dick pressed against Emma’s bare stomach where her pyjama top had ridden up and knew this last time together with her ‘spare appendage’ was going to be the best ever. At least if she was getting it removed she would see it out with a bang, she mused as she felt Emma’s hands running reverently over her silk-clad body.

Soon the feeling of Emma through her neglige wasn’t enough and Regina wriggled away from the pouting blonde, pulling the slip up and over her head. She had never quite understood why people spent so much money on sexy clothing just to cast it aside as soon as things got hot and heavy but she couldn’t deny she had felt very attractive in the silken material. Naked however, with Emma’s eyes feasting hungrily on her exposed skin, she felt even sexier.

“You’re so beautiful,” Emma breathed, her hands tracing reverently over the smooth skin of Regina’s stomach, hovering just above her pubis bone before tracing up to cup her breasts. “Regardless of what you think of this body, Gina, know that I think you’re attractive.”

“Thank you,” Regina murmured, straddling Emma and beginning to pull the blonde’s top up and over her head, revealing the pale breasts which she dropped her mouth to at once.

Kissing between them, she ran her tongue from one nipple to the other, circling each bud before returning to the valley between them and placing a final kiss in the centre.

“You’re beautiful too, you know,” she said with a smile.

Emma beamed up at her and pulled the brunette down so their mouths met. The kiss was slow, languid, an easy and practiced dance between their lips and tongues. Emma dominated at first, her tongue swirling through Regina’s mouth and making the brunette almost light-headed with delight. But then she retreated, giving Regina the opportunity to take control. Which she did, nibbling on Emma’s pale lip and laving away the pain with a swipe of her tongue. Emma moaned as she felt Regina’s teeth capturing her lip once more and reached out to grasp the brunette’s bare hips, grinding her own upwards in the process.

“Gina,” she gasped as the older woman began to lay a trail of kisses along Emma’s defined jaw until she reached her earlobe.

Regina’s tongue traced the shell of her ear before dipping inside. A keening sigh escaped Emma, her core throbbing at the sensation of Regina’s tongue, hot and wet, flickering over her sweet spot. She couldn’t wait much longer to feel the rest of the brunette. In fact, she reached down herself and shucked her pyjama bottoms down her legs, spreading her thighs wider so Regina’s body was cradled between them. At the feel of her penis pressed against the heat radiating from Emma’s sex, Regina pulled back.

“Eager?” she asked with a grin.

“For you, always,” Emma replied simply, kissing Regina once more before watching as the brunette slithered down her body.

Regina settled herself on her stomach between Emma’s thighs, arms wrapped around the strong, muscular legs and her face mere inches from the glistening core. She regarded Emma’s most intimate part for a moment, smiling slightly as she remembered that in a few short hours she too would have a clitoris, labia, a cervix, and a vagina. But she didn’t want to dwell on those thoughts, happy as they were, and instead she lowered her mouth to Emma’s waiting sex and trailed her tongue over the sensitive flesh.

The blonde’s fingers gripped the sheets, her back arching at the contact as Regina licked again, nerve endings on fire. Regina too was enjoying herself. She loved the taste of her girlfriend and could feel her almost painfully hard erection pressing against her stomach as she lay before Emma. She ignored it though; there would be enough time for that later. Her tongue licked slow, confident strokes through the wet folds before at last she sealed her mouth around Emma’s clit. She worried her tongue over the little bundle of nerves before sucking softly, Emma’s cries of delight music to her ears. When she slid two fingers into the blonde’s neglected entrance, her name bounced off the walls, Emma already teetering on the edge of orgasm. Regina didn’t care that it was quick. They had all night to make each other come again and again. So she pumped harder, licked firmer, suckled faster, until Emma came with a cry, her fisted hands tugging the sheet from the corner of the bed as she exploded with pleasure. Regina licked slower, coaxing every last ounce of satisfaction from the blonde before she collapsed, exhausted and satiated.

When Regina crawled up Emma’s body, she smiled down at her girlfriend, eyes closed and breathing ragged. Kissing her with come-covered lips, Regina gently brought Emma back to the present and when their eyes met once more, both smiled dopily at the other. Emma pulled Regina down so their bodies were pressed together, enjoying the feel of the older woman’s body weighing down on her own. She had always liked that sensation, she realised as the kiss continued and her energy returned.

Rolling Regina onto her back, Emma began to make her own way down the brunette’s body. She took her time, paying attention to each breast before worshiping the flat, toned planes of Regina’s stomach until at last she reached her hips where the pointed juts of her bones rose delicately against the tanned skin. Laying kisses along each one, Emma continued to tease her girlfriend and instead of taking the throbbing penis inches from her face into her mouth, she instead set off down Regina’s thigh, kisses peppering the skin as she went. Regina huffed in annoyance but knew Emma wouldn’t leave her dissatisfied. She also knew that with Emma it was always worth the wait. She closed her eyes and focused on the sensation of Emma’s lips trailing all over her skin, right down to her ankles before she switched to her other leg and began her ascent. When she finally returned to the apex of Regina’s thighs, brown eyes opened just in time to see pale pink lips envelope the tip of her erection.

She knew she was in the wrong body. She knew she wanted to have the operation the next day. She knew she was going to love living as a true woman. But she couldn’t deny that a part of her would miss the sensation of Emma’s mouth on her dick. The hot wetness, the sucking sensation, the laving tongue. Everything was simply … exquisite. She bit her lip as she watched Emma bobbing her head, taking more and more of her long cock into her mouth every time until her nose almost touched Regina’s pubis bone, the head of her penis reaching the back of Emma’s throat and making her gag slightly. But she didn’t care; not if it brought Regina pleasure. Which she knew it did as she could feel the blood pulsing beneath her tongue as it swirled around the erection. She began to work a little faster, her lips sliding closely up and down the hot, smooth skin.

“Emma, I’m close,” Regina gasped as Emma’s mouth moved faster and faster.

There was no reply from Emma who simply maintained her pace and wrapped her thumb and forefinger of her hand around the base of Regina’s cock, squeezing slightly in a way she knew would heighten the pleasure when Regina eventually exploded. And it did. Regina let out a guttural moan as she ejaculated, her hot seed filling Emma’s mouth as the blonde swallowed thickly, drinking down her girlfriend’s salty liquid as fast as she could. When she had it all, Emma slowly pulled back, the softening penis falling from her mouth. She knew it would be hard again soon enough however, and she crawled up Regina’s panting body and collapsed next to the brunette.

Regina rolled immediately onto her side and snuggled up against Emma, a contented sigh tumbling from her lips as she felt the blonde hug her back. She had never felt this blissfully happy, she decided. And not just because of the mind-blowing orgasm. But because she was finally going to become who she was always meant to be, and most importantly she wasn’t going to be doing it alone. Emma was going to be by her side every step of the way. She murmured her thanks and her love for the woman in her arms, receiving assurances that she was welcome and that she was loved back and the two of them drifted off for a while.

It wasn’t long before Emma awoke again however, still needing more despite the amazing orgasm she had already experienced. If this was to be her last night with Regina’s ‘spare appendage’ she knew there was one more thing they needed to do. Once roused from her doze, Regina too remembered what was coming next, and for the final time. She kissed Emma back and then rolled her over so she sat astride the blonde, keen to dominate this part of the night. Her penis was already semi-hard between her legs and as she felt Emma’s wet core sliding slickly against it, it hardened even more.

Emma was the one who reached for the box of condoms for the last time, the pair of them sheathing the now erect penis together. Emma’s fingers trailed over the latex and then up the rest of Regina’s body, hand curling around her neck and pulling Regina down to her.

“I love you,” Emma murmured as she kissed Regina.

Regina repeated the sentiment just as she slid herself into Emma’s core. They moaned in unison as Emma’s body parted to welcome Regina’s, reaching deep inside until she finally stopped, their pelvises touching. Emma gasped at the feeling of Regina so deep inside her - it never failed to turn her on when she felt her body being penetrated and filled by another person, especially when that person was Regina, looking down at her with such passion and affection and love that it was almost frightening. But then she began to move.

Despite their earlier activities, both women were already close to achieving their pleasure. Regina set up a steady rhythm, sliding easily through Emma’s wetness. The blonde herself bent her knees, opening her core up more and allowing Regina to reach even deeper. She gasped as the tip of Regina’s dick hit her sweet spot, buried far inside her and bit her lip, wanting to hold out just a little bit longer.

And then Regina was pulling out, gesturing for Emma to turn over. Confused but complying at once, Emma rolled onto her stomach and then felt Regina encouraging her onto her hands and knees. Looking over her shoulder at the woman now kneeling behind her, Emma raised an eyebrow.

“Is this ok?” the brunette said, slightly hesitant as she saw Emma’s face.

“Fuck, yeah,” Emma breathed out. “I just didn’t think you’d want to … try this position.”

“Too masculine?” Regina asked, her hands now palming each of Emma’s ass cheeks.

“Perhaps,” Emma admitted. “But I’m more than happy to continue if you are.”

“Oh, I’m happy,” Regina said as she lined up her penis with Emma’s entrance once more and slid in again.

Emma cried out as she felt Regina bury herself to the hilt inside her. She had always loved being taken from behind, knowing her lovers could penetrate even deeper and at a more intense angle in such a position. It was a shame she couldn’t see Regina’s face but when the brunette began to pump, Emma’s eyes closed with delight anyway so it didn’t even matter. The rhythm was fast right from the start, skin slapping against skin as Regina thrust in and out, in and out. Emma’s arms were shaking with the effort of holding herself up and eventually she collapsed onto her elbows, the pillow muffling her scream of pleasure as the angle changed and the sensations heightened. She could feel Regina sliding in and out of her, every ridge in the wall of her core being stimulated by the hard cock now slamming in and out of her at a punishing pace. Almost without thinking, she contracted her inner muscles just as she reached between her own legs and Regina’s to cup the brunette’s balls, squeezing softly.

Regina screamed, her body paralysed as she exploded within Emma. Buried deep inside the hot sex, she came and came and came, Emma’s fingers milking her testicles as her core clenched around the hard dick within it. Emma shattered seconds later when Regina’s fingers fumbled over her clit, pressing hard and tipping the blonde over the edge.

Collapsing onto the body below her, Regina landed on Emma and they both ended up in a tangle of sweaty, satisfied limbs. Emma craned her neck to kiss the cheek which had landed on the pillow next to her and then closed her eyes, content to be pleasantly squashed beneath Regina. After several minutes, the brunette gathered her strength and pushed herself upwards, reaching for her flaccid member and pulling out of Emma’s relaxed core.

“Shit,” she mumbled, sitting astride Emma’s thighs.

“What?” Emma asked sleepily.

“The condom split,” Regina replied. “I thought it felt a little different towards the end.”

Somewhat awkwardly, Emma rolled over beneath Regina and looked down to where the tattered remains of the latex was dangling uselessly from Regina’s dick.

“It’s fine,” Emma said with a yawn. “We’re going to the hospital tomorrow, remember? I’ll just grab the morning after pill there.”

Regina nodded her agreement and climbed off the bed to dispose of the useless protection. By the time she returned, Emma was curled up under the covers, eyes closed once more. Regina slid in beside her and within seconds they were both asleep, thoughts of the following day gone from both their minds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: tomorrow’s the operation! No, I won’t be describing it but I will be following Emma’s journey through the hours whilst she’s waiting for Regina to return from surgery.


	29. Spare Appendage Removal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: not too much of a delay on this one: I know a lot of you were eager to find out how Regina’s surgery went so I suppose we’ll get straight to it!

Emma sat on the edge of her chair, leaning forwards and clasping Regina’s hand in her own. The brunette herself was lying back in her bed, flicking through a magazine with her remaining hand. She knew Emma was staring at her but said nothing. She’d already reassured the younger woman as much as she could but she knew hr girlfriend was still worried. Petrified, in fact. She knew of Emma’s difficult start in life and thought perhaps the fear about the operation was linked to that early trauma in a hospital but she hoped the blonde trusted her just a little when she told her everything was going to be fine.

Cora returned to the room with a cup of coffee for Emma. Regina wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything so close to the operation and looked longingly at the creamy brown liquid, not caring that the quality was doubtless terrible. Her mother perched on the end of the bed, patted her leg, and launched into a story about the nurse she had met in the canteen who had been working for twelve hours straight.

“I mean, it’s just appalling,” Cora scoffed. “These lovely young women rush around doing all the jobs doctors don’t want to do because they consider themselves superior and yet they get treated like shit. I do hope Doctor Whale is nicer to his staff.”

“I’d like to think I am,” the aforementioned doctor said as he strolled into Regina’s private room, a grin on his face and a nurse nodding in affirmation behind him.

Cora didn't even blush. She just looked stoically up at him. Emma jumped to his feet and moved aside, still holding Regina’s hand, as Whale approached the bed and the nurse set about checking Regina’s vitals.

“How are we feeling?” he asked Regina.

“Hungry,” the brunette said simply. “And bored.”

Whale chuckled. “We’ll be taking you up in about fifteen minutes and you’ll be feeling absolutely nothing for about six hours. Do you have any last minute questions for me?”

Regina shook her head so Whale glanced at Emma and Cora who also had nothing to ask. Although Emma was worried, she didn’t have any doubts about what was going to happen. She was just nervous about the fact that Regina would be undergoing surgery and the difficult weeks that would follow.

“Right,” Whale smiled. “Well, I’ll leave you guys alone for a bit and then we’ll come back and take you up to the surgery.”

Regina thanked him, Whale nodded and smiled at both Emma and Cora before leaving the room. Regina glanced at her mother who nodded her understanding and slid from the bed and walked quietly out into the corridor.

“I’ll be waiting right here when you come back,” Emma said quietly as soon as they were alone. “Right here, Gina.”

“I know you will, Emma,” Regina assured. “And I’ll be coming back to you, I promise.”

Emma took Regina’s hand in her own again and kissed it softly. “You know I support you, right?” she mumbled against the soft skin. “I know I’ve been pessimistic about the operation and I’m scared shitless about the fact that you’re having surgery and that the recovery process can be difficult, but I support your choice to do this, Regina. I know it’s right for you and I know it’s what you want so I am behind you one hundred per cent, ok?”

“Thank you,” Regina said, eyes shimmering slightly with emotion. ”That means a lot. I … well, sometimes I thought maybe you weren’t supportive of my choice simply because you were so afraid of hospitals. I’ve always known you’ve accepted me as a woman even in this body, but I thought perhaps you were like Zelena and wanted me just to live with this penis.”

“Never,” Emma said firmly. “I know this is what you want and need to become the person you were always supposed to be. From the day I found out about this surgery I’ve wanted to support you. I just didn’t know at the time how I’d come to feel about you and how emotionally invested I was in the outcome being as positive and easy as possible. I trust Whale though and I’m sure he knows what he’s doing. I just … know that whatever happens, today or next week or next month, however all of this works out, know that I love you.”

“I love you too,” Regina said, sitting up and pulling Emma into her arms.

Emma held her tightly, biting back the tears as she felt the slender frame before her trembling slightly. It was Regina who was undergoing surgery, not her. She had to be the strong one. With a final, lingering, loving kiss, salty from Regina’s tears on her lips, Emma pulled back and left the room to find Cora, knowing mother and daughter also needed a moment alone.

As she entered the corridor, Emma spotted Cora chatting to Zelena. She hadn’t known Regina’s sister was coming but she supposed it made sense. After all, Regina should have her family around her at this time. Cora and Zelena spotted Emma and made their way down towards her. Emma stood aside and let the two women through to Regina’s room. She then headed off to find some more bad coffee, not wanting to be tempted to eavesdrop nor be there when Regina got wheeled out. They’d said all they needed to say.

“Hey,” Regina grinned as she saw your sister. “I thought you were working today.”

“I have a patient receiving treatment here at the moment,” Zelena said. “I figured while I was here checking on Mrs Whitley I’d pop down and wish my little sister the best of luck.”

“Thanks,” Regina said, reaching out to encourage her sister to move closer.

Cora and Zelena sat either side of Regina's bed, both taking a hand in their own. Regina smiled at each of them, sighing contentedly at the presence of her family.

“It’s time,” she said softly. “I’ve been waiting long enough for this day. I just want to be in the right body.”

“We know,” Zelena assured her. “We know, Gina.”

“I’m so proud of you, honey,” Cora added. “You’ve been so strong and so patient for all these years. You knew something felt wrong and instead of conforming to society you stood up for yourself and you’ve gone after what you know will make you happy. And as well as that strength, you met Emma in the process. I’m so proud of the fact that you were open to a relationship with her before this operation. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Nor was I,” Regina admitted. “And it took me a long time to realise that what I felt for Emma was stronger than my fears of what might happen once we got together. I took a risk, I suppose, and I’ve never been happier.”

“She’s good for you,” Zelena said. “I might have been surprised when I first met her and I’m sorry for the way I acted. I’m just protective, I suppose.”

“Understatement,” Regina chuckled. “Both of you.”

“Yes, but I was always nice to Emma,” Cora pointed out. “Because right from the start I could tell the two of you had something special.”

Regina laughed. It was true; her mother had been nothing but supportive right from the moment Emma entered their lives. Ok, perhaps she wasn’t too keen on the idea of Regina going to meet the woman who had inherited her late-ex-husband’s estate but as soon as Emma had agreed to help, Cora knew the blonde was going to be good for her daughter. And not just because she could finance the operation Cora herself couldn’t.

“Thanks to both of you,” Regina said quietly. “I don’t know how I’d have got through the last fifteen years without your support.”

“We’ll always be here for you,” Cora said. “Our support won’t stop the moment you come out of that operating theatre. We all know you’re going to have a long recovery process and we’ll be right beside you every step of the way. Emma too.”

“I know,” Regina smiled. “Thank you.”

Just then Doctor Whale appeared in the doorway with two nurses.

“Ready?” he asked, nodding at Zelena whom he knew professionally.

“Yep,” Regina said with a grin.

Cora and Zelena both placed kisses on Regina’s cheeks before standing back allowing the nurses to wheel the bed from the room. In the corridor, Regina glanced around for Emma but was unsurprised when she didn’t see her. She knew her girlfriend had wanted their time together in her room to be their goodbye. So she settled back against her pillows and waited patiently as the nurses pushed her down the corridor and towards the operating room.

* * *

Emma glanced up at the clock for the millionth time. The seconds seemed to be creeping past slower than ever and she huffed in frustration when she noted Regina had been in surgery a mere three hours. If everything went to plan, there was still another two hours to wait before Whale would have finished. She stood up and wandered down the corridor, staring out of the window at the far end without seeing the Chicago street beyond. Cora watched from her own chair, worried herself but also sympathetic to Emma’s evident inner turmoil. Placing her magazine on the seat beside her own, Cora got up and joined Emma.

“She’ll be fine,” the older Mills said softly, elbows resting beside Emma’s. “My daughter is the strongest person I know. She’s going to come sailing through this and be recovering at home with you in no time.”

“I know,” Emma said quietly. “It’s just … hard. The waiting, you know?”

Cora nodded. She did know. Realistically, she’d been waiting for over a decade for this day but she agreed that the last few hours had been painful.

“You know when Regina first told me she was considering surgery I didn’t want her to do it,” Cora said, the admittance surprising herself as well as Emma. “I never told her that, of course. I was always positive about the idea because I wanted to support whatever Regina wanted. But it scared me. Thinking of my beautiful child being cut into and the difficult recovery process which followed.”

“But now you’re on board?” Emma asked, turning towards Cora.

“Yes,” she nodded. “I did a lot of research about the surgery. I spoke to Doctor Whale several times and I also had a couple of appointments with Regina’s therapist. Over the years I learnt more about what the operation entailed, its success rate and also the psychology behind why Regina wants it done. I know Zelena always argued that Regina was living as a woman already and so therefore surgery was unnecessary but I disagree. She truly believes she was born in the wrong body and I do too. Now science offers us a chance to correct that, why not take it?”

“I agree,” Emma nodded. “And I know the risks are low. But they’re still risks. I’m still scared shitless right now.”

Cora couldn’t help but laugh. “Me too,” she said. “But Whale is an excellent surgeon and I trust him implicitly. As does Regina. And we both trust her decision, right?”

“Of course,” Emma said. “I was always supportive, right from the start.”

Cora cocked her head to one side, wondering whether to ask the next question and how angry her daughter would be when she found out about their conversation.

“And it didn’t bother you once the two of you began a physical relationship?”

Emma whipped her head around, cheeks flushed. Did Cora really just ask Emma whether she’d miss Regina’s penis when it came to sex? Judging by the slightly shocked look on the brunette’s face, she was a little surprised herself that the question had escaped her lips. Evidently the presence of the blonde turned off Cora’s internal filter. Emma swallowed before answering.

“I love your daughter for who she is, not her body,” Emma said simply. “I’m not going to deny that this operation is going to change the way we … yeah, anyway, but that’s not why I’m with her. I’ve dated men and women before and I’ve enjoyed physical relationships with both. I have no worries about Regina and I getting back to a new normality once she’s recovered.”

Cora nodded once and gave a small smile. “Good,” she said. “Coffee? I’m going to get another cup.”

* * *

With four of the five hours scheduled for Regina’s operation passed, Emma and Cora returned to Regina’s private room where the chairs were more comfortable. Cora had turned on the television but Emma was too distracted to pay attention to the talk show currently airing. Her mind kept flitting to the worst possible scenarios and she had to keep biting back tears. She knew it was stupid; Regina was strong, Whale was a good doctor, the two of them were prepared for the aftercare. But she was still scared. That fear was probably why she snapped when a tall, ginger-haired man knocked on the door and pushed it open.

“This is a private room, get out,” Emma all but snarled, narrowing her eyes at the timid looking man.

“Emma, this is Doctor Archie Hopper,” Cora said, switching off the television. “Regina’s therapist.”

“Oh,” Emma said, slumping back in her chair. “Right, sorry.”

“No problem,” Archie said, his voice soft and reassuring. “I understand this is a stressful time for everyone involved.”

Emma nodded and looked away without answering. Archie glanced at Cora who subtly shook her head and offered Archie a seat beside herself. The two of them began talking in low voices about how the therapist intended to help Regina over the next few weeks and months in terms of the psychological impact her sex change would have on her. Emma realised the two of them hadn’t really talked about that aspect of it - they’d been too focused on the physical side. But of course it was going to be a big change in terms of the way Regina thought and felt about her own body. A good change, of course. But a change none-the-less. Emma pulled out her phone and began googling psychology articles about male to female gender reassignment surgery.

* * *

Five and a half hours after Regina had been wheeled out, a familiar-looking nurse appeared at the door to Regina’s room. Cora, Emma and Archie all sprang to her feet.

“It went great,” the nurse said at once. “Doctor Whale is just changing out of his scrubs and then he’ll be in to talk to you. Regina’s in recovery and we’ll be bringing her down in about an hour.”

Emma let out a little moan of relief and collapsed into the chair. Cora and Archie thanked the nurse and embraced one another. Cora then immediately pulled out her cell phone to let Zelena know the surgery had been a success. Emma simply closed her eyes, her heart rate slowing for the first time since they had entered the hospital that morning. The first part was over. Regina had got through the operation. Now they just needed to work together to make sure her recovery went as smoothly as possible.

When Doctor Whale arrived a few minutes later, Emma barely heard any of what he said about the operation. She gathered that he was very pleased with the successful creation of the neo-vagina and that after using a small amount of scrotal skin he had been able to make the labia too. As for the functionality of the clitoris, they would have to wait and see. As soon as Whale had gone, Emma went to wait in the corridor, unable to bear not seeing Regina for even a moment less than as soon as she returned. She stared, barely blinking, at the swinging doors at the end of the corridor, refusing Cora’s offer of a coffee and Archie’s of a sandwich. Eventually, two nurses backed into the hallway, pulling the familiar figure.

“Gina!” Emma cried, jumping up and sprinting down the corridor.

The woman looked smaller lying under the hospital blankets, her hair flat and skin pale. Emma realised as she approached that Regina was asleep, presumably still under the lingering effects of the anaesthetic. She walked alongside the bed however as the nurses returned the woman to her room and as soon as she was in place, Emma took her seat and laced her fingers with Regina’s.

“She’ll be coming round soon,” one of the nurses said as she checked the various machines were set up correctly. “If you need anything, just press this red button.”

Cora thanked the nurse and moved to Regina’s other side, smiling down at her sleeping daughter and placing a kiss to her forehead. “Welcome back,” she whispered.

Both women settled beside the bed, doing nothing but watching Regina’s face for any sign of her waking up. Archie excused himself, suggesting he came back in a couple of hours once Regina was awake and they’d all had a chance to talk.

* * *

It was forty minutes later and Emma was busy counting the faint freckles the summer sun had brought out on Regina’s nose when dark lashes fluttered open.

“Gina,” Emma breathed, leaning forwards at once as the hazy eyes blinked slowly open. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Tired,” croaked back the dozy woman, her brain struggling to compute where she was. “And thirsty.”

Emma jumped up and poured some water into a cup at the end of the bed just as Cora squeezed Regina’s hand and the brunette turned her head towards her mother.

“Ma,” she whispered. “Hi.”

“Hello my beautiful daughter,” Cora said, eyes filling with tears, “I’m so pleased to see you awake. Doctor Whale said the operation went really well. He’s coming in soon to speak with you.”

Regina smiled weakly and turned back to Emma who was holding out the straw. She took a sip, her parched throat raw and she winced as she swallowed.

“Thanks,” she said as Emma sat back down. “You look awful.”

Emma couldn’t help but laugh, relieved to have her Regina back once more, the sassy woman she loved with all her heart still very much alive.

“Well worrying for six hours straight will do that to you. Plus the coffee here tastes like battery acid and I think the five cups of it your mother forced me to drink have aged me significantly,” Emma said with a wink at Cora. “You don’t look so hot yourself by the way, babe,” she added, turning back to Regina.”

Regina grinned weakly. “I feel great though.”

“Really?” Emma asked. “I mean, aren’t you in any pain?”

“I’m drugged up to my eyeballs, Emma,” Regina pointed out. “I can barely feel anything. But in my mind I feel good. It’s like my brain already knows that everything’s ok now.”

Emma smiled. “I’m so glad,” she said, kissing Regina’s hand softly. “So, so glad, honey.”

“Me too,” Cora said. “And Archie is here if you want to talk to him later. He’s waiting outside.”

Regina remembered her therapist saying he would come to visit her as soon as the operation had happened. She had assured him that she wouldn't need any more counselling and that once her ‘spare appendage’ had been removed she would finally be happy with her body. And as she lay in the soft hospital bed, Emma on one side of her and Cora on the other, she knew that to be true. She was no longer trapped in a body that wasn’t her own. She was no longer struggling with her identity. For the first time in twenty six years, Regina Mills was comfortable in her own skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: before anyone comments about psychological inaccuracies, despite Regina’s words, we are going to see Archie again in future chapters. Anyway, thoughts on this piece?


	30. A Slow Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: this chapter contains some pretty explicit descriptions of post-surgery dilation. Sorry, but it’s an important part of the recovery process and as I found out during my research, it’s going to consume their lives for a few months. I probably won’t describe any more in detail after this chapter, though.

Emma barely left the hospital over the next four days. Despite Regina’s reassurances that she would be fine if the blonde returned to their cottage and slept in a proper bed for the night, Emma insisted on curling up in the uncomfortable cot one of the nurses had found and parked in the corner of the private room. After the first day, during which Regina was still woozy from the drugs, the two of them had spent most of the time talking, playing card games, and watching television.

Their little routine was broken twice a day by Doctor Whale when he came to see his patient and check the packing he had placed inside Regina’s vagina which was keeping it stretched and open as it healed. Emma had excused herself the first time this intrusive examination had occurred but after Regina had assured her she was more than comfortable with her presence, Emma had admitted her curiosity and moved towards the foot of the bed.

The skin was a little inflamed, reddened and angry where the surgery had irritated it. Emma had audibly gasped when she first saw the neat line of sutures when Regina’s scrotum had once been. Above, she could see the new, raw opening, a slit which marked the opening into Regina’s body. The rest of it, the labia and what Emma could only assume was the clitoris, looked a mess, frankly.

“Once the swelling subsides it will look much better,” Whale said, reading Emma’s mind as he gently cleaned the tender area.

“Not the most attractive vagina you’ve ever seen?” Regina joked from the top of the bed where she was lying staring at the ceiling and trying to ignore the prodding between her legs.

Emma moved at once to her girlfriend’s side, kissing her cheek and assuring her it was beautiful. Whale hid his smirk at the blatant lie and continued his work. He knew there was nothing beautiful about what he had created between Regina’s legs yet. It would take time for the skin to settle in its new place, for the wounds to heal, and for the neo-vagina to truly look like a vagina. Regina bit her lip through the pain as Whale examined her, Emma’s hands clasped in her own.

Cora came to the hospital once a day, staying for an hour or so and just chatting with her daughter about day to day life. Jonathan came too, the day before Regina was released from hospital, and Emma was pleased to note how accepting Cora’s boyfriend appeared to be about the surgery and Regina’s identity. The four of them had eaten lunch together, subs brought from a cafe round the corner after Regina had complained about the quality of the hospital food. It was bad, to be fair, and the sandwiches were a welcome relief.

Zelena visited too, whenever her work allowed. She hadn’t brought the children, not trusting them not to climb up onto the bed and jump all over their delicate aunt. But Robin had swung by and Regina had been happy to see them. She knew they would both be interested in taking a look at Doctor Whale’s work and although she was close with her sister, and was aware that the curiosity was purely professional, she couldn’t quite bring herself to expose her sex to them. Doctor Whale and Emma was one thing. Her sister and brother-in-law was quite another.

* * *

On Wednesday morning, Doctor Whale carefully removed the packing inside Regina and produced a box of four dilators, all different sizes. He instructed Emma and Regina on how the process of dilation must be performed three times a day for six months, steadily using larger dilators for longer periods of time. Regina cried out as he demonstrated it for the first time, tear springing unbidden to her eyes at the excruciating pain as Whale worked the hard plastic inside her. Emma wept too, her heart breaking as she saw her girlfriend in pain. It became even more difficult to watch when Whale told Emma to take over from him so she could learn the correct procedure too. Emma had never felt so guilty in her life as she sat between Regina’s spread legs, holding the dilator deep inside her tender, damaged body. Whale had watched on with a grimace, knowing but not saying how much more both women would have to endure over the coming months.

Regina eased herself into the wheelchair that afternoon, wincing slightly despite the cushion Emma had placed in the seat below her. She felt bruised more than anything, her body protesting at the weight now bearing down upon her incisions. Emma was busy rushing around the hospital room, gathering up Regina’s possessions, thanking all the nurses for their help during their stay, and checking Regina was comfortable every five seconds.

By the time the two of them got home, Emma driving slower than she ever had in her life, Regina was exhausted. The effort of moving arond, sitting for so long, and the sheer emotional drain of finally leaving the hospital forced Regina to crawl into bed the moment they arrived back at the cottage. She had wanted Emma to wheel her down to see her horses but the blonde refused.

“You can see them from the window,” she had stated as she fluffed up the pillows behind Regina and pointed to the other side of the room where, indeed, they could just see Titan grazing near the stable block.

“Are they ok?” Regina asked.

“They all have four legs,” Emma shrugged. “Anything more than that and you’ll have to ask Malory.”

Their neighbour had been a life-saver, Emma realised. The woman had been more than happy to continue caring for the horses and had been exercising Titan and Harper with her daughter, Lily. Emma had chatted to the two of them briefly over the garden fence and hoped in the future they would become friends with the tall blonde woman. At that moment however, there was no room in her life for anything or anyone other than Regina, something she was more than happy about, despite the circumstances.

That evening Emma sat beside Regina in their bed, both slurping away at the chicken soup the blonde had made. It wasn’t as good as her mother’s version but Emma was proud of herself for making the effort regardless. Mary Margaret had emailed her the recipe when Emma had phone and asked about what dishes might make Regina feel better. Her adoptive mother had begged Emma to let her and David come up to visit, knowing their daughter had a lot to deal with and would need some support. Emma had refused; she didn’t want her parents to meet Regina when she was in such a fragile state. Another month, she had promised them, and then they could meet the woman who had captured her heart.

When she finished her soup Regina thanked Emma and placed her bowl on the bedside table. Turning onto her side, she snuggled up against the blonde and closed her eyes.

“You know you can’t sleep yet,” Emma said, discarding her own empty bowl.

“I know,” Regina sighed, eyes still closed.

Emma decided to give the other woman a few minutes of rest before they moved onto their new nightly routine. She stroked Regina’s soft brown hair, beautifully washed by a nurse in the hospital that morning, and smiled down into the contented face beneath her. Regina had been a predominantly happy person the whole time Emma had known her but in the five days since the operation, she had transformed. Despite being in pain, despite being stuck in a hospital and forced to eat flavourless mush, Regina was positively radiating joy. Whatever troubles had led to the surgery, whatever difficulties were to follow, Emma knew the decision to medically change her sex had been the best thing Regina had ever done in her life. And she couldn’t wait to see how Regina acted when she had healed and was back to full health.

Climbing off the bed, she padded into the bathroom and began pouring out Regina’s various pills. Some were the hormones she had always taken, others were antibiotics to keep any infections at bay. More still were painkillers. She tipped them all into a pot, filled a glass with water, and returned to the bedroom. Regina was already lying on top of the covers, having wriggled out from beneath the warm sheets. The weather had turned, August becoming unseasonably cool and there was a bite of autumn in the winds which had whipped the side of the house all day.

“Ready?” Emma asked, passing the pills and water to Regina before turning to their bedside cabinet.

It was a strange place to keep the dilators, Emma decided. Although it perhaps looked in theory like a slender sex toy, there was nothing sexual about what was to become their new nightly routine. That said, she couldn’t deny the convenience and proximity its bedside table location provided.

She removed the smallest of the dilators Whale had given them and picked up the lubricant. She hated the fact that she was about to cause Regina pain but knew it was something they were going to have to do. Three times a day. For at least six months. She shuffled down the bed as Regina lifted her night-dress and opened her legs. Emma smiled apologetically at the entire situation but Regina merely closed her eyes, allowing her girlfriend to do what they both knew was necessary. Without regular dilation, the newly formed vagina could heal over and the skin inside could shrink and lose its elasticity.

Emma used a warm flannel to gently clean Regina. The area was already healing well and the skin was much less swollen than when she had first seen it. Once satisfied that the area was clean, Emma pooled a large amount of lubricant into her hand, spilling some onto the sheets.

“Oops,” she murmured as she coated the dilator and gently wiped the rest over Regina’s sex.

The brunette flinched but Emma didn’t say anything. Focused now on her task, Emma carefully placed the tip of the cool plastic just against Regina’s entrance. Rotating it lightly, she began to work it, millimetre by millimetre inside the brunette. A whimper from the head of the bed made her movements freeze, her gaze snapping up to her girlfriend.

“Gina?” she asked, her heart breaking as she saw the beautiful face above her contorted in pain.

“Keep going,” the brunette said through gritted teeth. “We have to keep going.”

Emma nodded and returned to her task. She continued to push, as gently as possible, until most of the dilator was inside Regina. When she looked up at the older woman, Emma saw tear tracks on her cheeks. Wedging a pillow between Regina’s legs to keep the dilator in place, Emma moved up the bed, cuddling up against her immobile girlfriend and dropped kisses to her damp cheek.

“Just a little while,” Emma murmured. “You only need to do this for a while, Gina, and then we can go to sleep.”

“It hurts,” Regina said, unnecessarily.

“I know,” Emma said, wishing she could take the pain and discomfort away. “I know it does. But we have to do it.”

Regina nodded her understanding and squeezed her eyes shut. She could feel the slender dilator inside her, pushing aggressively against her tender flesh. It felt like it was trying to rip her apart, trying to destroy her newly made parts. She couldn’t imagine how she could possibly advance to the larger dilators which Whale had provided her with.

Twenty minutes later, Emma kissed Regina once more and returned to her core to remove the dilator. Regina whimpered as she pulled it slowly free, the skin snagging despite the lubricant. Emma tried not to make a face as she saw the blood and discharge coating the dilator. As soon as it was out, she hopped off the bed and into the bathroom to wash it and her hands. Returning to the bed, she wiped Regina clean once more and pulled her nightdress back down.

“Ok?” Emma asked, as she lay beside the brunette woman whose eyes were closed.

“Yes,” came the hoarse reply. “Thank you for doing that.”

“Of course,” Emma said quietly. “I’m just sorry it hurts as much as it does.”

“Maybe we should take the painkillers a little earlier next time,” Regina suggested, turning to look at Emma at last. “They only started to kick in towards the end.”

Emma nodded her agreement, already dreading the following morning when they would have to endure the procedure all over again. And at lunch time. And in the evening. Every day for six months. She couldn’t bear to think how it would be when they got to the larger dilators.

“You’re so brave,” Emma murmured, kissing Regina softly. “I’m so proud of you, my darling.”

* * *

Emma jumped when her cell phone rang, hastily pulling it out of her pocket and silencing the tone before it woke Regina who was dozing beside her. The two women were on the couch, curled up together and watching television. Well, they had been, before Regina fell asleep and Emma muted the channel. Squeezing out from beneath Regina’s weight, she tiptoed out of the room and into the corridor.

“Hey Rubes,” Emma said, answering the phone as she made her way to the kitchen and away from the living room where the call could disturb Regina.

“You sound like shit,” came her best friend’s reply.

“It’s been a rough couple of days,” Emma sighed, thinking back over the time since Regina had returned from the hospital. It was Sunday afternoon and although their routine with the dilator had become somewhat normal already, it was still no less pleasant. Their earlier lunch-time session had been particularly painful and Regina had barely endured the full time scale. Emma had cried silently as she had washed the blood from the dilator down the bathroom sink.

“How’s she doing?” Ruby asked, her voice softening at once.

“She’s fine, mostly,” Emma said. “It’s tough but I’m sure she made the right decision to have surgery. It’s just … hard right now.”

“She’s in pain?” Ruby asked. She’d googled a little about the surgery but couldn’t imagine what Regina was actually going through.

“Not all the time,” Emma said. “It’s definitely getting better. But yeah, it’s painful.”

“Want me to come up for a visit? Take some of the pressure off you?” Ruby offered.

Emma couldn’t help but laugh. She knew Ruby was only trying to help but looking after Regina was, for the most part, fine. And the one act she detested … well, there was no way she was going to let her best friend do that to her girlfriend.

“Maybe in a few weeks,” she suggested. “Once we’ve settled back into life in the cottage.”

“You were hardly settled before the surgery,” Ruby pointed out. “It had been a week since you guys moved in. Talk about fast.”

Emma knew she should feel Ruby was right, that it was too fast. But it had never seemed that way to her. Everything with Regina, every single step, had simply felt … right.

“Well, we’re not planning on any more curveballs in our relationship,” Emma said. “We’ve had our drama. Henry, August, the move, the surgery. I’m just looking forward to Regina getting better and our lives returning to some semblance of normalcy. There have been too many crazy changes for my liking recently.”

“I agree,” Ruby nodded. There was a pause. “Storybrooke isn’t the same without you, Ems.”

Emma winced at the tone of her friend’s voice. It was as if she had abandoned the brunette. Well, perhaps she had. Either way, she still felt guilty about leaving Ruby in that small town, knowing she was still working for August and, despite the two of them continuing their friendship, there was undoubtedly tension now.

“I miss you loads, Rubes,” Emma said. “I love it up here and I love Regina. But Storybrooke was an amazing home for me. I just … I had to leave. You know that, right?”

“I know,” Ruby sighed. “Perhaps it’s time for me to move on too. How much longer am I going to stay being a bar tender after all?”

“Come and stay with us at the start of September,” Emma offered. “The tourist season will have ended, so you’ll be able to get time off work. And Regina will be up and moving around fairly normally by them too. We’d love to have you.”

Arrangements made, Emma returned to the living room to find Regina grimacing in pain as she attempted to get off the couch.

“Woah, let me help you,” Emma said, rushing to Regina’s side.

“I’m fine,” Regina snapped. “I can stand on my own.”

Emma backed off but didn’t move away, just in case Regina really did need her. The brunette began to walk slowly out of the room, Emma trailing behind her.

“Can you make me a cup of tea, please?” Regina asked, her tone still a little irritated.

Emma nodded but knew she was being sent off on an errand only to force her away from Regina’s side. She felt hurt, of course, but she also could understand the brunette’s frustration at her immobility and limited movements. She tapped her fingers impatiently on the kitchen counter as she waited for the kettle to boil, all the while listening to Regina slowly climb the stairs and make her way along the upstairs corridor and into their bedroom. By the time the tea bag had stewed and she’d added a splash of milk, Emma was itching to get back to Regina.

She jogged up the staircase, the tea swishing dangerously close to the edge of the mug but she didn’t care. Emma had always had an inbuilt lie detector and, for some reason, it was whirring. Something Regina had said in the living room wasn’t true. And she hadn’t said much, Emma realised, just that she was ‘fine’. God, how she hated that word.

“Gina?” Emma called as she entered the bedroom and found it empty.

The door to the bathroom stood ajar, so Emma dumped the cup of tea on the bedside table and, heart pounding, headed through it.

In seconds she had dropped to her knees beside Regina who was lying on the bathroom floor, her sweatpants and underwear around her ankles and blood trickling from between her thighs. With a cry of anguish quickly followed by some reassuring words in the ears of the barely conscious woman, Emma pulled out her cell phone and dialled 911.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: remember those cliffhangers? Yeah … write your hate in the box below!


	31. Meet The Parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: not too much of a delay, right? Also, I think my favourite insult was someone calling me a brat - it literally made me lol. Thanks Tamera Rae! Small time jump in this chapter just because I didn’t think we needed more of the immediate surgery aftermath recovery written about.

“What happened?” Cora cried as she burst into the hospital corridor up and down which Emma was frantically pacing.

“Ripped stitches and then she fainted in our bathroom,” Emma replied, hugging the tearful woman before her and then resuming her marching.

She didn’t know why everyone walked up and down in hospitals and it sure as hell wasn't making her feel better. But she couldn’t bear to sit still, not whilst Doctor Whale was still working on Regina. So she was pacing, up and down, up and down, up and down.

“More surgery?” Cora asked, sinking into one of the uncomfortable chairs which lined the hallway and watching as Emma passed her, swivelled at the end of the corridor, and returned in her direction.

Emma nodded, face grim. “But she’ll be out soon. The tear wasn’t deep apparently so it won’t take long to repair.”

Cora closed her eyes, head resting against the wall behind her. She knew the surgery was the right choice for her daughter. She knew Regina had needed to do it. But it was the dangers and difficulties of the aftermath she had always been most afraid of. And it appeared those fears were becoming a reality.

Just before the tiles gave out from Emma’s incessant pacing, Doctor Whale emerged into the corridor. Cora stood up and Emma rushed straight towards him, heart in her mouth.

“She’s fine,” he placated at once. “It looked worse than it was. She didn’t actually lose too much blood and the tear is closed again now. Everything else is healing fine and this will only set her recovery process back a couple of days.”

“Can we see her?” Emma and Cora asked in unison.

Whale nodded. “She’s just coming down now. I’ve secured her a private room on the next floor up, so we can wait there if you like?”

Cora and Emma followed Whale through the now familiar hospital until they arrived in the room Regina was to be brought to. Emma was relieved when Whale informed her they would only have to stay one night and that Regina could go home the following day. She was less happy about the fact that Whale confessed his suspicions that their dilation practice earlier in the day had been the cause of Regina’s ripped stitch. Emma sank into a chair, sobbing at the news.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Cora said quietly, after Whale had left and before the newly wheeled-in Regina had woken. Each woman was, once again, holding a hand of the brunette, waiting for her to regain consciousness.

“Of course it was,” Emma choked through her tears. “I wasn’t gentle enough. I didn’t use enough lubricant.” She ignored the awkwardness of the whole situation. In that moment, she didn’t care about the intimacy of the act: what mattered to her was that she confess her guilt for being the cause of Regina’s pain. “I didn’t even realise that anything was wrong. There’s always blood afterwards and I didn’t even notice there was more than usual.”

“Perhaps there wasn’t,” Cora reasoned. “If the stitch ripped when you pulled the dilator out, which is what Whale suspects happened, you wouldn’t have seen anything if Regina got dressed straight away.”

Emma nodded her head at the reasonable explanation but said nothing. She couldn’t help feeling wracked with guilt regardless of the validity of Cora’s and Whale’s assurances that it wasn’t her fault. Regina had been hurt and Emma had failed to notice it. But Regina … Emma’s forehead creased as a realisation dawned on her. She might not have known something was wrong but Regina most certainly had.

* * *

The blonde waited until they were back at their cottage the following day before bringing up her suspicions to Regina. In fact, she had been so relieved when the older woman regained consciousness that any anger or annoyance she felt towards her had evaporated at the sight of those beautiful brown eyes. Now, however, lying side by side in their bed the following evening, Emma needed to say something.

“You knew something was wrong,” she whispered into the darkness.

Regina shifted beside her, wincing slightly as she rolled onto her side to face Emma through the gloom. “What?” she murmured.

“Yesterday,” Emma said, “when you sent me to get you a cup of tea, you knew something was wrong, didn’t you? You could feel that you were bleeding.”

Regina didn’t say anything. Emma took the lack of protest to be an affirmation that she had been right.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Emma asked. “I could have got you to a hospital sooner, stopped you from fainting in our bathroom. God, Regina, if you had told me to be more careful with the dilator the whole damn thing could have been avoided full stop.”

She tried to keep the note of anger from her voice but she couldn’t. She didn’t know at that point if she was angrier with herself for not having spotted Regina’s injury or at the brunette for not having told Emma as soon as she knew something was wrong. The resigned, almost pathetic answer from her girlfriend placated her anger towards Regina, however.

“What was I supposed to tell you?” Regina sighed. “I didn’t know that stitch had ripped, Emma, no more than you did. Yes it hurt when you pulled the dilator out but it hurts every single time. Telling you that it hurts is just going to make you despise the job even more. And ok, perhaps I did realise I was bleeding and didn’t tell you. I thought it was nothing. I thought it would go away. I was just going to the bathroom to check, maybe put a pad in my underwear or something. I had no idea it was that bad.”

“You still should have told me,” Emma said, her voice softer now. “I need to know these sorts of things, honey. I’m here to look after you.”

“You’re my girlfriend, not my nurse,” Regina said, the brunette’s turn now to sound a little bitter.

“Sorry,” Emma said, not wanting Regina to feel in any way like their relationship had changed since the surgery. Although it had, undeniably. “I don’t despise the job of performing your dilation, by the way,” Emma added, in reference to the brunette’s earlier comment.

“Well, it’s hardly enjoyable,” Regina scoffed.

“No,” Emma acquiesced. There was nothing enjoyable about the task she performed three times a day which caused the brunette pain and discomfort. “But it is necessary and a vital part of your recovery. I hate that you have to go through it and I hate that the thing which is hurting you is directed by my own hands. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to do it. I’m honoured to be doing it for you, to be honest. I’m so glad you’re allowing me to be a part of this whole process and that you trust me enough.”

“I trust you with my life,” Regina said quietly. “And I’m sorry for not telling you something felt wrong yesterday. In the future, I always will.”

“Thank you,” Emma said. “Because I may not be your nurse but as your girlfriend I do feel a certain responsibility towards you in terms of making sure you’re ok, whether you’ve just had a spare appendage removed or not.”

Regina couldn’t help but chuckle, ignoring the pain the jolting movement cause in her groin. It was worth it, she decided, to see Emma smile for the first time in days.

* * *

A scowling reflection stared back at Regina as she tried to make her hair do exactly what she wanted. She huffed as the strands continued to defy her and leaned heavily on the edge of the sink, exhaling slowly. She didn’t notice, therefore, when Emma appeared in the bathroom behind her, cocking her head a the sight of the hunched over brunette?

“Are you ready?” she asked. “They’ve just pulled up.”

“How do I look?” Regina asked, turning to her girlfriend and biting her lip.

“Beautiful as always,” Emma replied at once without even casting an eye over the brunette. She didn’t need to look. Regina looked stunning without even trying, so when she made an effort she was positively radiant.

“I’m nervous,” Regina admitted, smoothing down the front of her sweater and patting her thighs as if to iron on some invisible crinkles in her slacks.

“They’ll love you,” Emma assured her. “Because I love you.”

Regina nodded but didn’t look convinced. Emma stepped forwards and took her worried girlfriend in her arms.

“You’re going to do great,” Emma promised. “And regardless of what happens, nothing is going to change the way I feel about you.”

Regina managed a weak smile. “I’ve never met parents before. I mean, I’ve met parents,” she amended, “but never of someone I’ve dated. I’ve never dated, so how could I have met parents?”

Emma kissed the rambling lips and grasped Regina’s hand, tugging her from their bathroom just as the doorbell rang.

Mary Margaret and then David wrapped their arms around Emma, squeezing her tightly. They hadn’t seen her since March, what with everything going on in their daughter’s life and the fact that they lived so far away. They missed their daughter every day, however, and were delighted to be arriving at the cottage to stay for a few days and meet the love of their daughter’s life. Speaking of which, Regina stood in the shadows of the hallway, watching the small family embrace, her fingers fidgeting.

“Mom, Dad,” Emma said, leading her parents into the hallway. “I’d like you to meet Regina, my girlfriend.”

“It’s such a pleasure to finally meet you, Regina,” Mary Margaret said, smiling politely.

Regina guessed from the lack of handshake or hug that Emma had warned her parents about her apprehension in regards to physical contact. In the four weeks since her operation, however, she had already begun to feel more comfortable. Not that she’d been in contact with anyone aside from her own family and Emma thus far. Mary Margaret and David were the first people they were to host in their new home.

“Likewise,” Regina said, holding out her hand to shake Mary Margaret’s and then David’s. “Welcome to our home.”

“It’s a beautiful building,” David observed. “Is it made from cob?”

“Yes,” Regina said, leading the way into the kitchen where a selection of cakes had been laid out after Emma’s trip to the local bakery that morning. “The whole place was built modelled on a traditional English cottage, although the original thatch roof was replaced by slates because it posed a fire hazard.”

“Pity,” David mused. “I think thatch is a wonderful roofing tool.”

“Me too,” Regina smiled, pouring out cups of tea and handing them to their guests.

Emma beamed at how well her girlfriend was doing before gently pushing her into a cushioned dining chair and taking over the hosting. Although Regina’s stitches were healed and her surgery scars were already beginning to fade, she was still tender, especially since they had just the previous week begun using a larger dilator.

“So, Emma says you have horses here,” Mary Margaret said, craning her neck to look out of the window as she spoke.

“We do,” Regina smiled. “I’ll show you them after tea if you like? That is, if Emma will allow me to go outside today.”

“Hey!” Emma protested. “That was one time.”

Regina chuckled and turned to the two confused parents to explain. “Last week I had experienced some bleeding and Emma forced me into bed for the entire day and refused to allow me my daily walk down to see my horses.”

David blushed at the casual reference to Regina’s recent surgery but Mary Margaret took it all in her stride.

“I’m sure she’s just trying to keep you safe and healthy,” she smiled. “Emma told us about the early complication. I trust you’re doing better now?”

“Yes, much better, thank you,” Regina smiled. “I’m out of the danger zone, for sure, and we just have to keep up our … exercises,” she glanced at Emma, “for about six months and then life should get back to normal.”

Both Mary Margaret and David decided they didn’t want nor need to know what exercises Regina was referring to and instead David changed the subject by telling Emma about a heron he had spotted flying near the river as the drove up from Chicago airport that morning.

* * *

“Meet Betty, Titan, and Harper,” Regina said, leaning on the gate at the end of their garden beside Mary Margaret and looking out at the three grazing horses.

“They’re beautiful,” Mary Margaret said, clicking her tongue and drawing the attention of Harper who immediately made her way over to them.

“You’ve been around horses,” Regina observed. She hadn’t been expecting that; not after Emma’s fear of the creatures. Although admittedly Emma had gotten much better since they first arrived and had even stroked Harper the previous week. Titan still petrified her, however.

“I had a pony when I was younger, actually,” Mary Margaret said. “My father was a keen polo player and he wanted me to get into it. I was never very talented however and a bad fall when I was fourteen broke my collarbone. I’ve ridden a few times since but not much.”

Regina supposed she had discovered where Emma’s fear of horses came from. Knowing one had been involved in an accident with her mother would probably have made her distrustful of every one of the beautiful creatures.

“Well when I’m better and able to ride again, perhaps you and David could visit again and we could go out,” Regina suggested. “Harper’s very placid, aren’t you sweetheart,” she added, scratching the nose of the horse now standing before them.

“I’d love that,” Mary Margaret beamed. “We can leave those two gossiping about birds and get out into the country our way.”

Regina laughed and agreed. She appreciated Emma’s passion for her photography and birdlife but as far as she was concerned, there was not better way of experiencing nature than from the back of a horse.

“So, Emma tells me you’re a teacher,” Regina said. “Are you looking forward to school starting again?”

* * *

“Well?” Regina asked that night after Emma had finished inserting the larger dilator and used a pillow to keep it in place. Her hand ached if she had to hold it in herself. “What do they think of me?”

Crawling up to lie beside her uncomfortable girlfriend, Emma rolled onto her side and grinned.

“They love you,” she said, a smug I-told-you-so grin on her face.

“Really?”

“Really,” Emma smiled. “You were amazing with them, Gina, just as I knew you would be. Charming and polite and helpful. How could they not love you?”

“I am pretty loveable,” Regina mused with a sly wink.

“I think so,” Emma said in a serious voice. “So, so loveable.”

Regina smiled and beckoned Emma closer. She couldn’t move easily with the dilator inside her, so the blonde curled herself around Regina’s immobile body, sighing contentedly as she rested her head on the swell of Regina’s breast.

“Do you miss sex?” Regina asked after a while.

“What?” Emma asked, confused as to where the abrupt question had come from. “No, why?”

“Well, we used to have sex a lot before the operation,” Regina pointed out. “I mean, for the few weeks we were physically intimate, anyway. And it’s been a month now. Don’t you miss it?”

“Not really,” Emma replied. “I mean, I’m more than happy to wait as long as it takes for you to be ready again, Gina.”

“Yes but you’re ready now,” Regina reminded her. “I mean, you’re not recovering from surgery. If you wanted me to -.”

“Gina! My parents are next door!” Emma hissed, scandalised at the thought of having sex with her parents mere feet away.

“Oh yeah,” Regina mused. “Well, when they’re gone. Just know that I’m not expecting you to be celibate as well, ok?”

Emma nuzzled against Regina’s neck, kissing the soft skin there. “Ok,” she whispered, tugging Regina’s earlobe into her mouth. “But just so you know, I’m more than happy kissing and cuddling for as long as you want.”

“But maybe I miss you,” Regina said, turning to capture Emma’s lips in a quick, hard kiss. “Maybe this isn’t all about you, Emma. Maybe I want to feel you, taste you again.”

Emma swallowed thickly. In that moment she was regretting ever inviting her parents to stay, despite the vast quantities of frozen stews and meals her mother had stacked in their freezer that morning. Her core throbbed and she groaned.

“They’ll be gone in five days,” Regina murmured, reading Emma’s mind. “Five days until I get to touch you again.”


	32. Some Parental Advice

On the last day of Mary Margaret and David’s visit to Emma and Regina’s cottage, mother and daughter disappeared into town, leaving David to work on the garage roof which was still leaking and Regina inside preparing the vegetables for their lunch. The brunette was looking out of the window above the sink, grinning as she watched Betty crane her neck over the fence, trying to pluck an apple from the low bows of a tree growing near their field. She made a mental note to chop up some of the windfalls to add to their food that evening. Just as she was beginning to peel the potatoes, the front door closing and clumping feet alerted her to David’s reappearance in the house.

“Hey, would you like a tea or coffee?” Regina asked as the man entered the kitchen and slumped down in a chair. His mannerisms reminded her so much of Emma it was almost scary.

“Please,” he said, “but I’ll make it myself. Would you like something?”

“Coffee, please,” Regina said, pointing to the cupboard where he would find the supplies for the hot drinks.

David set about grinding beans and boiling water as Regina finished peeling potatoes and moved on to chopping them into smaller sections so they’d cook quicker.

“How’s the garage roof coming?” Regina asked, thanking David as he handed over the coffee.

“It’s almost done,” he said. “Although I’m afraid one the boxes at the back had gotten a little damp. You’re lucky I’m doing this before fall truly sets in else those letters would have been completely ruined.”

“Letters?” Regina frowned, turning around to look at the man now sat at the small table.

“Yeah,” David replied. “At least, I assume they’re letters. The envelopes all have your name on.”

Regina’s heart skipped a beat. The letters. The ones her father had written to her. The ones she asked Emma to get rid of over a month ago. What the hell were they doing in their garage? David seemed to notice what he had said had affected Regina.

“Are you ok?” he asked, concerned at how pale the young woman had gone.

Regina said nothing but simply crossed the room and sank into a chair, coffee discarded on the kitchen counter. David hesitated before speaking again.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be nosey. I didn’t ready any of them or anything. I just assumed you knew they were there. They’re yours after all.”

“Yes,” Regina said quietly. “They’re mine.”

David cocked his head, regarding the woman before him. He hoped his daughter and wife would return quickly. He wasn’t very good at these sorts of conversations. And although he knew he ought just to distract Regina from her clear inner turmoil, the words tumbled from his lips before he had processed them.

“They’re from your father, aren’t they?”

Regina’s head snapped up, watery eyes meeting piercing blue ones. “Emma told you?”

“No,” David said quickly, not wanting to get his daughter in trouble. “No, she simply told us a little about the history in your family. I just guessed, I suppose. From the handwriting on the envelope I think it was obvious it had been written by a man, and a traditionally educated one at that.”

Regina raised an eyebrow. “You’re quite the graphologist,” she remarked. “Ever considered a career as a detective.”

David laughed. “No,” he replied. “Too much paperwork.”

Regina nodded her head and said nothing for a moment. She had gotten to know the man opposite her fairly well over the past few days and liked him a lot. But she wasn’t sure if he was the person she should be talking to about her complicated relationship with her own father.

“I haven’t read them,” Regina said quietly. “Well, I read one, Emma’s read a few. I told her to get rid of them before the operation. I had no idea she’d stored them in the garage.”

“I didn’t get Emma in trouble, did I?” David asked.

Regina laughed. “Oh no, she did that all by herself, as usual.” There was a teasing note in Regina’s voice that took the sting out of the words and David smiled too. It was true; his daughter did seem to attract trouble. “I can’t believe she kept them,” Regina mused.

David didn’t consider himself exactly qualified to have this conversation. His own father had disappeared when he was a teenager and his relationship with Emma had been fantastic but unusual because of Emma’s age when she had been adopted. He had wept the first time the small blonde girl had called him ‘Dad’ just before her ninth birthday and he had always felt like her father. But he knew it was different from a biological connection. Not necessarily weaker or less sincere. Just … different.

“Emma spent a long time looking for her biological family,” David said quietly. “I think she wanted to know where she came from. I also think she wanted answers; why they gave her up, why they’d abandoned her, why they hadn’t loved her. It broke my heart when she couldn’t find them but I was also relieved. I didn’t want anyone to take my little girl away from me. As far as I’m concerned, I was and am Emma’s father and she doesn’t need another one. But Emma will always think of herself as an orphan. She doesn’t say it, she doesn’t even act as one might expect now, thanks to so many years with me and Mary Margaret. But Emma knows more than anyone in the world how important family is. Perhaps she thought she was doing the right thing by keeping them. After all, if anyone had ever handed her a link to her biological father, she would never have let it go.”

Regina listened as David spoke, her heart aching at the thought of everything Emma must have gone through but that they rarely discussed as a couple. She also felt David’s pain; his evident love for his daughter and yet, underneath it all, the relentless knowledge that she had another father, a biological father. Somewhere.

But Regina knew exactly where her father was. Dead and buried in a grave she had never visited, in a town she had never stepped foot in, mere miles from where he had lived for over a decade without acknowledging her existence. Except he had. Henry Mills had written to his daughter. Hundreds of times over. And more important than the sheer volume of letters was the fact that they were addressed to Regina, not Jacob.

“Emma’s lucky to have you,” Regina said after a long pause. “You clearly love her very much.”

“I do,” David smiled. “Every father loves his daughter, even if they struggle to express it sometimes.” There was a pause before the man continued. “A box of letters seems pretty expressive to me, however.”

Regina couldn’t help but chuckle. Nor could she deny it. Yes, it appeared Henry Mills had finally found a way to talk to his daughter. It was just a shame he had never summoned up the courage to do so before he had died. The letters, whatever they contained, would never make up for what he had done to Regina and their family but perhaps they held some sort of explanation. Along with many, many apologies.

* * *

“… and she’s so beautiful and sweet. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone else so kind-hearted,” Mary Margaret mused as she walked ahead of her daughter down the pathway. “And the way she speaks! So eloquent with her words. I can’t believe she didn’t go to college although I understand why she didn’t choose to attend. And -.”

“Mom! Shut up,” Emma laughed. “I asked you what you thought of her. I don’t need you to tell me how amazing Regina is. I already know that.”

Mother and daughter were making their way back across the fields from the town. Emma loved the walk and found herself on the trail most days. She couldn’t wait for Regina to have healed enough to be able to manage the full distance and hoped the blackberries were still in season when that time came. Her fingers and lips were stained purple from the snack the two of them had enjoyed a few minutes earlier.

“That is what I think of her,” Mary Margaret answered. “I think she’s beautiful and sweet and kind and -.”

“But what do you think about her for me?” Emma elaborated.

She had never exactly been a daughter who needed her parents approval when it came to relationships. There had been a couple of boyfriends she didn’t dare introduce to them but most of her partners had been fairly well received by her mother and father. Not that a rejection would have really mattered, not if she liked the person enough. But that had been before Regina, Emma was coming to realise. She loved Regina more than anyone else in the world and she wanted to be with the woman for the rest of their lives. Nothing her parents could say would change that. But she still, desperately, wanted her mother and father to like Regina. And more importantly, like the two of them together.

Mary Margaret stopped abruptly on the pathway ahead of Emma and the blonde walked into her with a soft oomph. Apologising, Mary Margaret turned and gathered up her daughter’s hands.

“Every mother dreams their child will find a person worthy of them and their love,” she began, brown eyes sparkling with tears already. “I worried for years and years that you’d never find the right person, never settle down, never start a family of your own. And then Regina came along. I know you didn’t tell us about her right away and I’m still miffed at you for that,” she mock scowled, “but now I’ve seen the two of you together, I know I’m never going to have to worry about you again. You’re perfect together, Emma. Absolutely perfect and I’m so glad you found each other. I can tell the two of you are going to make one another very happy for a very long time.”

Emma drew her mother into a tight hug, whispering words of thanks into the older woman’s ear. Her mother approved. Her mother liked Regina. More than that; her mother liked Emma and Regina together.

“And it really doesn’t bother you?” Emma asked as they set off again. “That she’s transgender?”

“Why should it?” Mary Margaret shrugged. “You know I’m not one to judge and if you don’t mind, of course I don’t have a problem with it.”

“We won’t be making that family of my own you spoke of,” Emma remarked.

Mary Margaret laughed. “David and I couldn’t do that either, remember?” she said. “As far as we’re concerned, you’re just as much ours as if we’d have conceived you ourselves. I’m sure, if the time comes and you feel you’re ready, both you and Regina would make wonderful mothers to a very lucky abandoned baby.”

“Full circle, huh,” Emma mused. She hadn’t really thought about adoption before. She hadn’t thought about kids, to be honest. She was only 25 after all. But she pushed the image which swam in her mind of Regina cradling a young baby in her arms and instead climbed over the gate which marked the edge of their field and, with her mother by her side, walked back towards the cottage.

* * *

“Gina?” Emma called as she entered the kitchen to find it empty and dumped the shopping bags on the table.

“In here,” came the answering reply from the rear living room.

It was a space they hadn’t quite found a use for yet and it had just become home to most of Regina’s books and a few of Emma’s framed photographs which didn’t fit on the walls and were now stacked in a pile. David and Regina both looked up and grinned as Emma and Mary Margaret entered.

“Um, what are you doing?” Emma asked, a note of suspicion in her voice as she recognised what lay open on the coffee table.

“Looking at the most adorable seven year old in the world,” Regina said.

“You brought my baby pictures?” Emma huffed, glowering between Mary Margaret and David. “Guys! No one needs to see those.”

“No one can, technically,” Mary Margaret reminded her. Emma didn’t actually have any baby pictures. If any of her earlier foster families had taken any, they’d been long lost before she was finally adopted by the Nolans.

“You’re mean,” Emma frowned, slumping into the armchair.

“You’ll get me back when we’re next at my mother’s,” Regina said, before turning back to the huge photo album. “Now, did she really spend the entire summer without any front teeth?”

* * *

The following morning Regina and Emma stood with their arms around one another’s waists, waving as David reversed the truck down the drive and out of sight. They stood there for a moment, enjoying one of the last warm days of the year, before slowly heading back inside the house. It was quiet once more, just the two of them. Although Emma loved both her parents, she was glad to have some alone time with Regina again. The three dilation sessions they had excused themselves to perform each day hardly counted as quality time together.

They made their way into the living room where Emma scowled at the photo album still lying open on the coffee table. She scooped it up, snapped it shut, and slotted it onto a shelf.

“You were cute,” Regina insisted, arms snaking around Emma’s waist. “And in defence of your father, he was trying to make something up to me.”

“Dad?” Emma frowned. “Why? What did he do?”

Regina bit her lip. She hadn’t wanted to bring up the letters quite so soon. That said, she had hardly slept the night before, knowing how close they are and not having read them. As soon as David had revealed what Emma had done, Regina knew there was only one option available to her.

“Your father found my father’s letters when he was fixing the garage roof,” Regina said eventually.

Emma’s face drained of colour and her jaw dropped. She stood stock still, terror on her face as she registered the words.

“Gina, I can explain,” she began but Regina held up a hand to silence her.

“I get it,” Regina assured her. “You didn’t know your real father and you think I would have regretted some time in the future not having taken the opportunity to possibly know mine. Or at least to read his words, his apology letters.”

“My dad spoke to you, didn’t he?” Emma said.

Regina nodded. “And you were right.” Emma’s eyebrows rose almost comically. With Regina around, Emma was rarely right! “I hadn’t realised it until David mentioned the letters again but they’d been gnawing away at me, that feeling of not knowing. I don’t know what they’ll contain, Emma. I don’t even know if they’ll make me feel better or worse. But I have to know. And, more importantly, I want you to read them with me.”

Without waiting for Emma’s answer, Regina walked to the far side of the couch where, unnoticed by Emma, she and David had stashed the damp letters the night before. She pulled the box out and lifted it onto the coffee table.

“Will you join me?” Regina asked, sitting down on the couch and picking up the first letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: OK, I’ve just realised something. There’s only three chapters of this story left. Seriously, it surprised me too. Sorry!


	33. Reading and Realisations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: honestly, it came as a surprise to me yesterday too when I realised that knew how this story would end, and how close that ending was. Actually, I’ve had the end scene in my head from the first chapter. Just call me Amy Sherman-Palladino. And my darling readers, you are not the only ones invested in this story. I may be writing it but I think I feel closer to these versions of Emma and Regina than any of the others I have ever created! Anyway … onwards.

_January 1st 2011_

_Dear Regina,_

_I’m forcing myself to write because it’s my new years resolution to write you one letter per week. Actually, it’s my new years resolution to send these letters but one step at a time. There are already seven letters to you, ones I wrote last year. They’re stacked in my dresser at the moment but hopefully they’ll find stamps soon. There was a party at my house last night. Everyone from church came down and I think we finished off every bottle of liquor I own - and I bought extra for the party. My head is hurting as I write but I wanted to start the year off right._

_Which means an apology, I suppose. Once more, yet another apology. Will it ever be enough? Will there ever be a day when the ball drops in Times Square and I turn to my youngest daughter and wish her a happy new year in person? I wish, I hope, I doubt. I don’t doubt you - your capacity to forgive me and all the heinous things I did and said to you as a child astounded me. I doubt myself. I doubt my own conviction to send these letters, to attempt to make amends. It’s easy to write; if my new years resolution had been to write one letter a day I could do that. But sending them? That’s a whole other ball game. One day, one day I hope you’ll read these words and know I mean them._

_All my love,_

_Daddy_

* * *

_February 1st 2012_

_Dear Regina,_

_Happy birthday sweetheart! You’re twenty-two today! My little girl is all grown up! I wonder what you’re doing to celebrate, what your present from your mother and sister will be. Will you be going out with college friends? Or will you have taken a trip home to be with your mother? It scares me sometimes how little I know of your life. But I’d like to think that I know you’re happy, happy without me. You couldn’t be happy with me as your father, could you? So it’s best I’m not there at all._

_But let’s move on. I wonder if you remember your seventh birthday party? You had asked your mother to arrange a riding party down at the stables but I had wanted something more manly; a go-karting track I believe. So we compromised and had a clown. Goodness knows how we landed on that as a good party idea and somehow it slipped both our minds that Zelena is terrified of them. She hid in her room for the entire day whilst thirty seven year old boys ran around the garden making a complete mess of everything until at last their parents came and took them home. Your mother cleaned up and I took you upstairs to get ready for bed. You were so hyped up on sugar that it took me forever to persuade you to sit still in your bed and allow me to read you a story. It was about horses, that’s all I remember. I’d tried to read one about mechanics but you’d insisted. And as it was your birthday, I acquiesced._

_That was the last time I read you a bedtime story. Three days later … well, I suspect you remember what happened when I came home from work early because I had a headache. You weren’t to know. And even if you had known, why should you have hidden what you were doing? I reacted … reprehensibly. I’ll never forgive myself for what I did and what I said. To be honest, I don’t want you to forgive me either. I don’t deserve it._

_But let’s not dwell on the past any longer. I am writing this letter, which, let’s face it, I’ll never send, to wish you a happy birthday. I love you, my darling daughter, and I hope your life is filled with people who are deserving and accepting of you as a person._

_All my love,_

_Daddy_

* * *

_September 29th 2013_

_Dear Regina,_

_The blackberries are finally over. I remember how much you and your sister used to love hunting for them in the gardens. I’ve been eating bowlfuls every day for weeks but the last few left are soft and squidgy and being eaten by the birds. I suppose that’s fair enough - once winter sets in they’ll need the extra warmth. Plus the pumpkins are keeping me full. I’ve got one which I’m sure is going to win the prize at the harvest festival next week._

_Do you remember the last harvest service we attended together as a family? I suppose you would have been fourteen. I had to drag Zelena to join us and she huffed all the way through, refusing to talk or even smile. You, however, were sat grinning by my side. In hindsight I don’t know what had made you so happy. I’m forced to confess it wasn’t being in a place of worship. But I thought at the time that it was, and that it was because you were spending time with me. I felt so proud to sit beside you that day, my son. But I was proud of the wrong person. I shouldn’t have been proud of how handsome you looked in a suit. I should have been proud of your inner strength, your determined character, your unwavering belief in who you were as a person, regardless of how I made you portray yourself to the world. That’s who I should have been proud of. I wish I could tell you this._

_All my love,_

_Daddy_

* * *

_June 30th 2014_

_Dear Regina,_

_I met the most charming man today. He lives in the town near my house, Storybrooke, and he’s been doing some work for me in the house. Quite the carpenter. Unlike myself, you may recall. Remember that day when I sliced off the top of my thumb and your mother fainted when she saw the blood? And then I had to calm you down because you were screaming your head off and Zelena was trying to bandage my finger. I suppose she was always going to be a doctor, even at such a young age. She can’t have been more than nine and you were just six. I was worried you were going to faint too and land on top of Ma!_

_Because that’s what children do when they’re shocked. They scream. They make a fuss. They show fear. But that’s also what I did when I first saw you as Regina, not Jacob. Except I wasn’t six. I was a fully grown man and you were the child. If I was confused and scared I can’t imagine what you felt like. And instead of comforting you, of reassuring you, I screamed, I made a fuss, I showed my fear. Except it came out in other ways; angry ways, violent ways, unspeakable ways. It was wrong, Regina. The way I acted towards you was wrong and I will forever be sorry for that. Perhaps one day you’ll be able to forgive me, or at least understand that I reacted as I did because I was scared and confused. It’s not an excuse, I know, but perhaps it’s an explanation. Regardless of the reason, I’m still sorry._

_All my love,_

_Daddy_

* * *

_December 25th 2015_

_Dear Regina,_

_Merry Christmas! There’s a present under the tree for you, wrapped up, labeled, a big bow on top. I don’t know why. It’s not like you’re going to walk in through the door. But I think you’d like it. And as you’re not here, I’ll describe it to you, or rather, the story of how I came to buy it._

_I was visiting New York last month, a boring business trip. But I found myself with some time and I wandered into Tiffany’s. It was always your mother’s favourite store and Zelena was already inheriting her taste when I left. I presume you did too. They caught my eye, the moment I entered. I knew they were for you. I just knew it. The diamonds are set into delicate platinum strands which blossom into flowers, each clasping a perfect pearl in their ends. They’re sophisticated, demure, and oh so special. Exactly as I imagine you to be now. I wish I could see you, I wish for just a glimpse, a flash of your face, just to reassure me that you’re ok._

_Are you ok? Regina, my baby, is your life ok? Good even? I hope with all of my heart that it is. I hope that you’re sitting around a Christmas tree with your family, laughing and opening presents and having a wonderful time. That’s what I want for you. That’s what you deserve. You deserve more than a father who is too scared to do anything other than write letters, letters which are now piled high in the back of my closet. You’re never going to read these words. I know this now. But I write anyway._

_All my love,_

_Daddy_

* * *

_March 11th 2016_

_Dear Regina,_

_I’m dying. I have lung cancer. I found out just after Christmas but I refused treatment. I didn’t want to live any longer. It’s my time._

_So this is the last letter I’m going to ever write to you. The last letter I’ll write and not send, just like all the others. But there’s something I need to say, to explain, on the off chance that these somehow find their way to you._

_I changed my will. Yesterday. I’d been thinking about it for years but had never found the person who I wanted to leave the money to. Let me explain. After everything I did to you, after everything I put our family through I knew you would never want the money. It was tainted, poisoned, as far as you were concerned. You would never have spent it, enjoyed it. All my will would have done would be to force you to remember me again. And much as it pains me. I hope you never, ever even spare a thought for me. I don’t deserve it. It might seem illogical, giving my money away to a perfect stranger. But this girl, Emma is her name, she reminded me of you. I don’t know why. Maybe it was her smile. Maybe it was the little ways she defied me. I never thought I’d leave my fortune to an atheist democrat that’s for sure. But I am. The money will be good for her, she deserves it. You’d deserve the money too, if the price of that money wasn’t feeling like you owe me an eternal debt. Which you wouldn’t, Regina, but I know you. That’s how you’d see it. So I’ve given it away. I hope you’ll forgive me. And if you can’t, I understand too._

_Know that I love you, my darling daughter. Know that I’m sorry for all that passed between us and I love you for who you are, regardless of who that may be. Know that you will be in my final thoughts when I pass on. It won’t be long now; I can feel it. And maybe, when we meet again in heaven, you’ll allow me the opportunity to apologise, to tell you how sorry I am, and to begin to make amends._

_I love you, Regina. Forever and always._

_Daddy_

* * *

By the time they finished reading the sun had long since set. Both women’s eyes were red from crying, their hearts and minds exhausted after all they had taken in. As they had opened the letters, slowly sorting the vast number into chronological order as they had read, Regina had filled Emma in on everything. She had told her girlfriend about the day her father had first caught her wearing a dress, three days after her seventh birthday party. She relived the harvest festival Henry had written about, when she had been smiling because she and her mother had that afternoon arranged to go and speak to a doctor about starting her on hormone replacements. She remembered seeing her father’s hand, covered in blood, and her mother lying on the ground after Henry’s accident with the saw in the garage one weekend, her sister proudly proclaiming that one day she would be a doctor.

And then it was Emma’s turn, finally, to tell Regina every detail of the night she and Henry Mills had met. How they had talked, drank, laughed, and danced. How Emma had suspected he was ill but how his death a week later had shocked her. Not nearly as much as the inheritance had though. Neither one of them knew what to say when it came to Henry’s reasoning. Did it make sense? Perhaps. In the mind of a dying old man. Did it matter now? After all, it brought Regina and Emma together. Yes, it mattered. It mattered to Regina because the letters, which numbered over two hundred, almost every week accounted for since 2011, had all been addressed to Regina, not Jacob. After so long, after half of her life, Henry Mills had finally accepted Regina for who she really was. Regina. A woman. His daughter.

Ever since the surgery, it had been gnawing away at her. She had known it would. The simple fact that the money for the operation came from Henry Mills. Despite trying, she couldn’t deny that. She couldn’t trick herself into believing it was Emma’s money. It wasn’t. But now … now those feelings were fading away and she was beginning to believe that had her father been alive, he would have supported her decision to undergo the surgery. He would have supported her.

There was something else too. As they entered their bedroom that night, Emma went straight to the dresser and picked up a small jewellery box. She had found them when she was moving out of the country house and something had made her keep them. Everything else she had sold or given to charity. But there was something about the pair which had called to her. She opened the box, knowing without needing to confirm it that they were the Tiffany earrings Henry had described in the letter. She handed them to Regina. Red-eyed, Regina stared down at the Christmas present her father had bought her the previous year, a tear dripping onto the black velvet cushion. Then she snapped the box shut, tossed it onto the dresser, and disappeared into the bathroom to do her teeth.

Neither woman spoke as they lay side by side on the bed that night, waiting for the timer to beep to notify them that Regina’s dilation time was up. Whatever sexual desire Regina had spoken of the night of Mary Margaret and David’s first visit had evaporated after the letters. It would return, she was sure. But that evening, there was no room in her brain for anything or anyone other than her father.

Emma woke twice in the night, Regina moaning and writhing next to her, a nightmare plaguing her sleep. She curled her body around her girlfriend and soothed her back to a peaceful slumber, tears soaking into the pillow as she felt the pain of the brunette. The overwhelming, all-consuming, never-ending pain.

* * *

The next morning, Emma woke to find the sheets beside her empty and cold. Making her way downstairs, she was unsurprised to find Regina sitting in their rear living room, surrounded by letters once again. She didn’t interrupt her. She knew Regina needed time. But after a week of the same behaviour, she called Cora.

“She barely speaks,” Emma whispered as she let the older Mills into the house and closed the door against the howling September winds. “She just sits and reads. Every day. She won’t eat much and I’m getting really worried. I asked her to speak to Archie but she refused.”

“You should ask him to come anyway,” Cora suggested, shrugging off her coat. “Maybe she’ll talk once he’s here.”

Emma nodded her agreement and rubbed her hands over her face. Cora frowned as she took in the appearance of the blonde.

“Are you ok?” she asked.

“Fine, why?”

“Because you don’t look great either,” Cora noted. The blonde’s skin was pale, her hair lank, and her eyes sunken in her skull.

“I’m worried,” Emma confessed. “I don’t know how to help her. And I was sick this morning. Must have been something I ate.”

Cora pulled the young woman into a quick hug, assuring her that everything would be alright before heading further into the cottage.

Regina barely acknowledged her mother’s presence when she sat down beside her on the floor. The brunette had barely moved from the spot except to oblige Emma when she insisted on performing the dilation three times a day. The letters covered the carpet, disorganised and haphazard.

“May I?” Cora asked, gesturing to the nearest one.

Regina nodded blankly, still staring at the piece of paper she held in her own hands. Emma had explained the bare bones of the letters but nothing had prepared Cora for seeing her late ex-husband’s words. She read letter after letter, fascinated and consumed by the content. Intrigued and appalled by what he said. Angry and heartbroken at the way he spoke. Emma left them to it, deciding to brave the stormy weather and walk to the local town and give mother and daughter some time together.

“Why did he do it?” Regina asked, over two hours after Cora had arrived.

“Write them?” Cora asked. “Or leave us?”

Regina shrugged. “Both.”

Cora glanced around at the sea of paper and plucked one up. “I mean, he gives reasons. ‘I was scared,’ he says here.” She picked up another. “‘I couldn’t be the father you deserved.” A third letter was chosen. “‘I wish I was brave enough to tell you all this in person.’”

“Then why didn’t he?” Regina exploded, jumping to her feet and storming away from her mother and the letters, disappearing into the hallway.

Cora followed, finding her daughter hunched over the kitchen sink, splashing water on her reddened face.

“Your father was weak, Regina,” she began. “He might have been a good businessman but he was a weak human. He didn’t have the capacity to understand you. He didn’t even try to, as far as I can tell. And it was only years later that he suddenly realised what he’d done. And even then he wasn’t strong enough to come back. I mean … would you have even spoken to him if he had reached out? Would you have read the letters if he’d sent them or would you have left them unopened?”

“I don’t know," Regina admitted, walking shakily to a dining chair. Her body needed food; she knew that. But she wasn’t hungry. “But he should have still tried, shouldn’t he?”

“He should have,” Cora agreed. “And I will never forgive him for walking out on you, on us. Nor will I forgive him for never trying to make amends. The letters are, admittedly, a surprise. It’s typical of him: doing something which in theory is a sweet idea and then never following through. I mean, how was he to know you would have ever met Emma? For all he knew when he died, you would never have read any of them, never had known he was sorry.”

“But I have,” Regina said. “I’ve read them. Does that mean I have to forgive him?”

“No,” Cora said at once. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, I’ve always told you that, Gina. But … do you want to forgive him?”

Regina shrugged. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “But I know I’m tired. Tired of hating him. Tired of feeling rejected. Tired of feeling abandoned. Tired of feeling like I owe him because of this operation.”

“You owe him nothing,” Cora said firmly. “Nothing, Regina. That money was Emma’s. She chose to give it to you. It was her decision, not his.”

“And he brought us together,” Regina said quietly. “Inadvertently, I know. But he did. If it wasn’t for him, I would never have met the love of my life, Ma. Does that mean I have to be grateful to him for leading me to find Emma too?”

“No,” Cora said solemnly. “And two people as perfect for each other as you and Emma would have met some other way, regardless of Daddy’s involvement.”

“Really?”

“I honestly believe that,” Cora nodded. “You two were destined to be together.”

“So it wasn’t because of Daddy?” Regina said, sounding so childlike it made Cora want to gather her grown daughter into her lap and hug her for hours.

“No,” Cora replied. “You and Emma are together because you belong together.”

There was a long silence, Regina picking at her nails which she’d bitten down to stubs over the past week. They hurt, actually, and she dropped her hands into her lap before looking up at her mother, their gazes locked for the first time that day.

“Do you believe him?” she asked. “Do you believe he’s sorry for everything that happened?”

Cora cocked her head. She hadn’t read all the letters but the thirty or so she had scanned through had given her a good idea of the content of the rest.

“I do,” she said finally. “I believe he regretted what happened but I also believe that it was the right thing for our family. He couldn’t have stayed, Regina. Not the way he was back then. Maybe he should have come back. Maybe. But as far as I’m concerned, his departure did our family a favour. He can apologise and you can choose to accept that apology. But never dwell on what could have been. The past is the past. Let’s leave it there and move on.”

Regina listened carefully, knowing her mother knew her father better than anyone else in the world. She also knew her father’s abandonment of their family had ripped her mother’s heart in two. It wasn’t only Regina who had suffered at the hands of Henry Mills. Suddenly Regina got to her feet. Cora was alarmed but then smiled as she saw her daughter march over to the fruit bowl and begin to devour a shiny red apple. She then headed to the fridge, wrenched it open and pulled out the remains of the pasta bake Emma had cooked the night before which she'd refused to touch. Ravenous for the first time in days, she dug in.

When Emma returned an hour later, windswept and pink-cheeked, she found Regina and Cora sat on the couch, halfway through a packet of cookies. Emma took one look at the brunette and let out a cry of delight, throwing herself into Regina’s arms. They tumbled backwards onto the soft cushions, crushing the discarded food Regina had been eating earlier beneath them but neither cared. They were back together, back to normal. And that was all that mattered.

At Emma’s insistence, Cora stayed for dinner and the three of them cooked side by side in the cottage’s kitchen, talking about anything and everything. Well, not Henry Mills. After Emma’s return the letters had been boxed up and pushed under the stairs, out of sight and, for now, out of mind. And an appointment with Archie had been made for the following day.

That night, without words, Regina turned to Emma in their bed, her hand trailing down the blonde’s shivering body, taut with anticipation. For the first time in two months, Emma felt her girlfriend’s fingers against her sex. She cried out in ecstasy, holding Regina close in her arms as she came, whispers of I love you as she peaked. Regina kissed her lips, over and over, her own sex tingling in a way that made her desperate for four more months to pass. Doctor Whale had advise against sexual activity for at least that long. Two months down, she mused before … she gasped.

“Emma,” she said through the darkness.

“What?” the blonde frowned, the worried tone of Regina’s voice scaring her.

“Two months,” she said. “It’s been almost two months since my operation.”

“I know,” Emma said slowly. “And?”

“And in that time you’ve not had your period.”

The room was suddenly very, very quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Dun dun dun! Also, two chapter in two days? Go me!


	34. Two Unexpected Guests

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: the penultimate chapter … yes, I’m sad too. But I promise you everything will be wrapped up with a neat little bow on top of it for you!

“What?” came Emma’s whisper into the very still bedroom.

“It’s been two months,” Regina repeated.

“You keep track of my periods?” Emma frowned.

Regina sighed. “Is that really what you’re choosing to focus on right now, Emma?” she asked, a little exasperated. “I think there are some slightly more pressing matters at hand.”

There was a pause, Emma herself trying to calculate when she had last had her period. Deducing Regina was right about the time schedule, she set about making excuses.

“Well, it’s been a stressful time,” she suggested. “What with your operation and then the stitches, and my parents coming to visit. I’m sure my body is just a little confused and readjusting.”

“Emma,” Regina said, rolling over and switching on her lamp. The blonde screwed her eyes up, both against the light and against the looming reality. “You were sick this morning and you said you've been tired recently.”

“I ate some bad food yesterday,” Emma defended. “And I never sleep well when the seasons change.”

“Bullshit to the seasons excuse,” Regina laughed. “And you had pasta bake yesterday. I’m fairly sure there is nothing in a pasta bake that could possibly make you sick.”

“Bad cheese?” Emma suggested but her heart wasn’t in it. She knew the pasta hadn’t caused her sickness that morning.

“I thought you were going to take the morning after pill,” Regina said quietly, sitting up in bed, prompting Emma to do the same.

“I forgot,” Emma admitted. “What with you going in for surgery and the stress of being in the hospital in the first place. I meant to … I just, yeah, I forgot. Plus, you said your hormone tablets make you practically infertile anyway.”

“Practically,” Regina pointed out. “Not completely.”

“We’re jumping the gun here anyway,” Emma pointed out. “We don’t even know for sure if I am …” She trailed off, not able to finish the sentence.

“Pregnant,” Regina said gently.

Emma nodded, her lip trapped between her teeth. Regina reached out and patted Emma’s thigh beneath the duvet. She wasn’t sure exactly what was going through the blonde’s head at that moment but she got the feeling the thoughts weren’t all positive. They’d never even spoken about the possibility of starting a family. They were both still young. They had only been together a few months. And there had been so much else happening that it really hadn’t seemed like a necessary conversation to have. Apparently mother nature had other plans for them however.

“Emma?” Regina said gently after a full five minutes of silence.

Eventually Emma turned towards her girlfriend who was smiling tentatively at her.

“Can we talk about this in the morning?” Emma asked. “It’s been a long week.”

“Of course,” Regina said, leaning in and kissing Emma softly on the lips. The blonde barely reacted, she just slid back down under the covers and rolled onto her side, her back firmly towards Regina.

* * *

Emma woke early the next morning. She had rolled over during the night, her subconscious still craving closeness with Regina and their legs and arms were intertwined, a usual sleeping position for the pair. As she remembered the conversation and the realisation from the night before, however, Emma gently extricated herself without waking the brunette and slid from their bed. Ten minutes later, she was walking down the footpath which led to the local town, in which there was a pharmacy which would sell what she needed.

Regina wasn’t entirely surprised to find the bed empty when she woke the next morning. Saddened, perhaps, but not surprised. She knew the news from the night before had come as a shock for Emma. It shocked her too. Terrified her, in fact. But the overwhelming emotion she had felt was excitement. She had always thought she would never have children of her own. She had never exactly felt the need to procreate, either, but since her surgery, she had become aware that she would never be able to either have a child or help someone else make one. It was something she and Archie had discussed a few times before the surgery but Regina had dismissed the idea of having her sperm frozen. Any IVF would have been expensive and unlikely to have worked anyway due to all the hormones she had been taking for so long. But now …

She was frying some bacon in the kitchen when Emma came home, having just finished her dilation for the morning. She smiled at the blonde as she entered, immediately noticing the brown pharmacy bag clutched in her hands.

“Morning,” Regina said gently.

“Hi,” Emma said, crossing the room and kissing Regina’s cheek. “Sorry I disappeared this morning. I needed to get these as soon as possible.”

She emptied the bag onto the counter and at least a dozen pregnancy tests fell out.

“In case one doesn’t work?” Regina asked with a quirk of her eyebrow.

“False positives happen,” Emma shrugged, grabbing two packs and heading down the hallway to the bathroom. Regina followed.

Sitting on the floor, her back against the wall, Regina waited as she heard Emma rustling around in the bathroom. Two minutes later, the toilet flushed and the blonde emerged, one stick in each hand. She sat down beside Regina in silence, handed the brunette one, and laid her own on the floor between her feet.

“How long do we have to wait?” Regina asked.

“A few minutes more,” Emma said, eyes closed.

Regina threaded her fingers through Emma’s and squeezed reassuringly. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t think there was any point saying anything until they knew what the result was. She closed her eyes too.

Two minutes later there was a knock at the door. Emma and Regina looked at each other and then down the corridor to the front door.

“Are we expecting someone?” Regina asked, getting to her feet.

“I don’t think so,” Emma frowned, gathering up the two pregnancy sticks without looking at them and placing them on the hallway table.

Regina made her way to the door and opened it.

“It’s bloody far away this place isn’t it!”

“Ruby?” Emma gasped, glimpsing the bright red hair beyond Regina. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“What a greeting,” the redhead deadpanned. “Um, you invited me! We set the date two weeks ago, remember?”

Emma’s jaw dropped. Had it really been two weeks since she and Ruby had last spoken, confirming that her best friend would indeed make the long-anticipated trip up to see the ladies’ new house for the weekend.

“Shit,” Emma said, forcing herself to smile. “I didn’t realise so much time had passed. Er, come in, come in. Let me take your bags.”

Ruby moved past Regina and handed Emma her overnight bag which the blonde dumped on the stairs before pulling her oldest friend into a tight hug.

“Woah, ok, hi,” Ruby said as Emma’s arms crushed her ribcage.

“I missed you,” Emma said unnecessarily.

“And then forgot I was coming,” Ruby replied as she was finally released.

Emma looked sheepish and then, unable to stop herself, glanced towards the two pregnancy tests still lying on the hallway table. Ruby followed the blonde’s eye-line and gasped.

“What?” she whispered. “Are you …?”

“I’d just taken them when you arrived,” Emma admitted. “We don’t know for sure yet.”

Ruby nodded slowly. “Right, well in that case I’m going to go into the kitchen and start making some coffee and you two can do whatever you need to do out here, ok?”

Emma smiled gratefully at her friend and directed her to where she would find everything she needed to make cups of coffee for all three of them. Once the redhead had disappeared into the kitchen, Emma and Regina approached the table. Both tests had, coincidentally, landed facing down. Each woman reached for one.

“Ready?” Regina asked.

Emma nodded, a lump in her throat, and she turned the stick over. She stared at the result, Regina taking in the words on the test she held, before both women, in unison, handed them over to the other. The same result displayed on each, constant, unwavering.

“Fuck,” Emma murmured, dropping the stick to the table and marching into the kitchen. Seconds later she had returned with a handful of pregnancy tests but before she could enter the bathroom, Regina stopped her.

“Emma, it’s ok,” Regina said. “Let’s wait an hour or so and take another. You’ll probably get the same result now if it is a false positive. Have some coffee and try again later.”

“One more,” Emma insisted, pushing past Regina and into the bathroom.

Regina sighed and decided to join Ruby in the kitchen, the smell of coffee too inciting to resist. Ruby looked up when the brunette entered, her face expectant.

“Well?” she asked. “Emma burst in here, grabbed a load more tests and disappeared without saying anything. Is she? Are you?”

“They were both positive,” Regina said. “But Emma’s taking another one. Or five.”

“It wasn’t planned?” Ruby asked.

“No,” Regina sighed, sinking into a chair. “No this was most definitely not planned.”

Ruby smiled sympathetically and placed a mug of coffee in front of the older woman, sitting down opposite her with her own seconds later. They waited in silence until, at last, Emma returned. She tossed all three pregnancy tests onto the kitchen counter. Regina wanted to say something about hygiene but decided against it.

“Coffee?” Ruby offered.

“Can I even drink it now?” she asked. “Isn’t it bad for the baby?”

“Positive again?” Regina said.

Emma nodded and filled up a glass of water from the tap, gulping it down.

“Um, do you guys want me to leave?” Ruby said. “I get the feeling this isn’t the best time to come for a weekend visit.”

Emma dumped her empty glass in the sink and sat down heavily beside Ruby. “No, stay,” she reassured her friend. “I’m sorry, Rubes. It really is great to see you. Today just … well, it came as a bit of a shock, to be honest.”

“Yeah, I can imagine,” she said. “How about I nip down to the town and buy us all something for lunch and then you guys can talk for a bit?” she suggested, knowing that both women needed to speak about the life-changing revelation which had just come to pass.

“Thanks, Ruby,” Regina said, giving the redhead quick directions to the nearest town and the best places to get food.

When Ruby had gone, Emma and Regina moved through to the living room, curling up on either end of the couch in silence. When it became apparent Emma wasn’t going to say anything, Regina decided to start things off.

“Are you ok?” she asked tentatively.

Emma shrugged. “Shocked, I think would be the word I would use.”

Regina couldn’t help but smile. “Me too,” she said. “I didn’t even know you hadn’t taken the pill but even with that knowledge I’m surprised I was able to get you pregnant.”

“I genuinely forgot,” Emma said, a little defensively. “I didn’t do this on purpose.”

“I know,” Regina placated. “I don’t think either of us planned this. Or even considered this as a possibility, right?”

“Right,” Emma said. “If I’d known pregnancy was a genuine possibility, I would have taken that pill.”

Regina swallowed. “So … you don’t want to have this baby?”

At the hurt in Regina’s voice, Emma’s eyes snapped upwards and met Regina’s watery brown ones.

“What? No!” she exclaimed. “I didn’t mean that, Regina.” She scrambled across the couch and pulled Regina into her arms. The brunette squeezed back, her face buried in Emma’s neck as the tears began to fall.

“I’m sorry,” Regina sniffled when she pulled back. “I’m sorry about all of this, Emma. I know we didn’t plan it and I should have made it clearer that you needed to take the pill after that condom broke.”

“You did,” Emma insisted. “This isn’t on you. I forgot.”

“Because of my operation,” Regina pointed out.

There was a long silence once more, both women trying to digest the enormity of the situation they had found themselves in. It wasn’t unusual for the two of them to be somewhat overwhelmed with their circumstances. But everything had been, finally, almost normal for the first time in their relationship. And then …

“Are you happy?” Regina asked quietly.

Emma turned to Regina and tangled their fingers together. She took a deep breath before answering.

“I’m terrified,” she began. “And confused, and shocked. But yes, Regina, I am also blissfully happy.”

Regina’s face lit up at the final word and she tumbled forwards on Emma, enveloping her in a hug. Emma couldn’t help but laugh, wrapping her own arms around the brunette who was half sobbing, half laughing into Emma’s hair. And then suddenly Regina pulled back.

“Did I hurt the baby?” she asked, face white with fear.

“Pretty sure it’s still in there,” Emma said, patting her still flat stomach. “And you’re not exactly heavy.”

Regina cocked her head in consideration and then settled herself back atop Emma, nestling close to the blonde.

“We’re going to have a baby,” Regina murmured.

“Yes we are,” Emma replied, kissing Regina’s temple.

* * *

When Ruby returned, laden with shopping half an hour later, Emma and Regina were still intertwined on the couch. The redhead stepped tentatively into the room, unsure quite what had been spoken about and hopefully resolved in her absence.

“Um, hi?” she said when neither woman seemed to notice her reappearance.

“Oh, hi Rubes,” Emma said, sitting up as Regina got off her. “Did you get food for lunch.”

Ruby held up the bags as proof but then just looked pointedly between the two women. Emma laughed at her friend’s expression.

“Something you want to ask us?” Emma smirked, slinging her arm around Regina’s neck.

“Guys!” Ruby exclaimed. “What’s happening?”

Regina glanced at Emma who nodded her ascent for the brunette to explain. “Well, it appears that the hormones I had previously been taking before my operation had not been strong enough to completely incapacitate my sperm. So when one of our condoms broke just before my surgery, neither Emma nor myself realised how important it was for Emma to take the morning after pill.”

“And,” Ruby asked impatiently.

“And now Emma’s pregnant,” Regina continued. “With our baby.”

Ruby’s jaw dropped and then she squealed with excitement, dumped the grocery bags and flung her arms around both Regina and Emma.

“Congratulations!” she gushed when she pulled back. “You’re going to be wonderful mothers.”

“You reckon?” Emma asked, her nerves evident by the fact that she was biting her lip again.

“Of course,” Regina and Ruby answered in unison.

Ruby knew exactly what Emma was worried about. The two of them had spoken about it one drunken night, years ago. She suspected Emma had forgotten everything that she had said but the words stuck firm in Ruby’s mind.

“You’re not your parents, Em,” she said gently. “You’re going to do right by this child. You both are. And I know it wasn’t until you were seven and David and Mary Margaret formally adopted you that you had good role models as parents but they were amazing and you’ll have learnt a lot from them, even if you don’t know it yet. Plus you’ve got Regina right by your side who’s going to help you every step of the way.”

“Of course,” Regina said. “And it’s not like I had the perfect father as a role model either, Emma. We’ll learn as we go, like all new parents.”

“Yeah?” Emma said, seemingly unconvinced.

“I promise,” Regina assured. “Plus we have seven months to read every parenting book ever published so I’m sure we’ll be more than prepared when our baby arrives.”

“Our baby,” Emma repeated slowly. “I like the sound of that.”

“Me too,” Regina nodded, leaning in to kiss Emma once more.

* * *

Although Emma and Regina had been completely unprepared for Ruby’s arrival and it had coincided with such an unexpected, revelatory life changing event, the two women were glad to have the redhead to stay for a few days. It stopped them spending every second thinking about the fact that their lives were going to change, immeasurably, in seven months time.

After lunch Regina ushered Ruby out to see her beloved horses, whom Emma had now relented posed no threat to the recovering brunette. Emma hung back, as always, still nervous when around the large animals. Subconsciously, her hand drifted to her stomach, fingers splayed protectively over the small life growing inside her.

That evening the three of them prepared a meal together in the kitchen as Emma and Regina filled Ruby in on everything that had happened since the blonde left Storybrooke. As they ate, Ruby returned the favour, imparting each little detail about the small town in Emma’s absence. The fact that August wasn’t mentioned was like the elephant in the room, but neither woman dared broach the subject.

The following morning, Emma left Regina to complete her dilation time on her own and went downstairs to eat breakfast with Ruby. It was the first time the two friends had been alone since the redhead had arrived.

“Hey, Mom-to-be,” Ruby grinned as Emma walked into the kitchen.

“Coffee?” she asked, ignoring her friend’s comment.

She set about making the caffeinated drink, not willing or able to talk about her pregnancy until she had drunk some. After some extensive googling the night before she had discovered that a cup of her favourite drink would not hurt the baby.

“I’m scared shitless, Rubes,” Emma said when she finally sat down. “I mean, I never really thought about being a mom before.”

“You’ll be an amazing mother,” Ruby said at once. “Because you know how important it is for a kid to feel loved and safe. That’s all they really need, you know.”

“And food and warmth and help with their homework,” Emma added.

Ruby laughed. “You’re a multimillionaire, remember? You and Regina can make sure this kid wants for nothing. And as for helping with homework, you didn’t exactly flunk school. And Regina seems intelligent too. I’m pretty sure you two aren’t going to struggle too much with some Grade 5 maths.”

“Perhaps,” Emma shrugged. “Still pretty terrifying though, isn’t it?”

“Fuck yeah!” Ruby laughed. “But it’s also pretty amazing. I mean, without this … accident, you and Regina would never have had a child together. Don’t you think you should be focusing on what a gift this is rather than the massive task of raising a kid? Very few transgender people have their own biological children. You and Regina, you’re lucky.”

Emma thought about that for a moment. She realised that the fact that neither of the women had brought up the subject of children before the operation had been an oversight. True, it had been very early on in their relationship to speak about starting a family but due to the nature of the surgery, Regina’s ability to have her own children was going to be completely removed. And yet they’d never spoken about whether they’d want to preserve that option in the future. It seemed, however, that fate had other plans for the couple and the lack of conversation had been rectified by a very unplanned but, as Emma was starting to realise, very welcome pregnancy.

“Yeah, we are aren’t we,” Emma said, a grin slowly spreading over her face.

“Hello, Cheshire Cat,” Regina said as she entered the kitchen a few seconds later and taking in the beaming blonde. “What are you grinning like a loon about?”

“Our baby,” Emma said, standing up and waltzing over to her girlfriend and hugging her tightly. “We’re going to have a baby, Regina.”

“Yes we are,” Regina replied, kissing Emma softly, reverently, relief washing over her as she realised the blonde had finally accepted, and was happy about, the new change to their lives.

* * *

When Ruby left that afternoon, grumbling about the long drive back to Storybrooke and promising to come back to visit before the baby was born, Emma and Regina waved her off from the porch, arms around one another. When the old red car had retreated down the drive, the couple returned to their quiet cottage.

“Well,” Regina said slowly. “What now?”

“I think we need to make a doctor’s appointment first thing tomorrow morning,” Emma said. “Eleven pregnancy tests could still be wrong.”

“I doubt it but good idea,” Regina nodded. She wanted to make sure absolutely nothing was wrong with the baby growing inside Emma and she wasn’t sure how her hormone tablets might possibly had affected her sperm. She hoped, prayed, that everything was fine.

“I’m sure it’s ok,” Emma said, noticing the worry on Regina’s face and interpreting it correctly. “I’m sure our baby is happy and healthy, cooking away inside me.”

Regina couldn’t help but laugh at Emma’s expression. But there were also some other life-changes she wanted to discuss with the blonde and it seemed now would be a good time to do so.

“Come sit down,” Regina said, leading the way into the living room. Once they were both sat on the couch, Regina turned to Emma and began to speak. “I didn’t bring this up earlier because it wasn’t really going to affect our lives in any great way yet but now … well, I guess now it’s something we should both discuss.”

“Go on,” Emma encouraged.

“I’m not going back to work in the department store,” Regina said. “I didn’t enjoy it, the work was boring, and I think I could do more with my life.”

Emma grinned. “I agree,” she said. “I didn’t want to say anything but I think you’re right. I think your brains and abilities were wasted in that place. Plus you smelt way too sickly sweet after your shifts there.”

“Did you just say I smell?” Regina asked, feigning offence.

“Yep,” Emma laughed. “And I’m very glad you are no longer going to smell.”

Regina chuckled too but then sobered when she realised she hadn’t told Emma her new future plan.

“Do you remember when I told you I had thought about writing a memoir about my life as a transgender person?” She asked. Emma nodded slowly so Regina continued. “Well, I always said I would never begin writing it before my surgery but now that’s been done, obviously, and I’m starting to consider it as something I want to start.”

“I think that’s wonderful,” Emma said earnestly. “I think your words and your experiences could be inspirational to other people who are confused about their identity or believe themselves to have been born in the wrong body.”

“I agree,” Regina said. “But I don’t want to just write it straight away. I want this book to be good, Emma. Really good. And for that … I want to go back to college and take a creative writing course.”

Emma blinked. She hadn’t been expecting that. Sure, she knew Regina had never gone to college but the brunette had also never expressed regret at not experiencing higher education. Now, however, it seemed evident that Regina both wanted and needed to go back to school, determined, as ever, to do something to the best of her abilities.

“I think that’s a great idea,” Emma said, smiling widely. “You’ll be amazing, I’ve no doubt.”

“Thanks,” Regina said. “But now, what with the baby and everything, do you think this is a good time or should I postpone it?”

“Have you applied yet?” Emma asked.

“No, I wanted to speak to you first,” Regina said.

Emma smiled at her girlfriend’s thoughtfulness. “Well, I’m a freelancer and it’s not like I can’t afford to take some time off work,” Emma pointed out. “And I don’t think a creative writing course would be full time. I can’t see any reason why we shouldn’t be able to make this work. In fact, it’ll probably be even better than if you had continued your job at the department store in terms of you being around as much as possible in the early months.”

“Really?” Regina asked. “I mean, you’re ok with me doing this?”

Emma pulled Regina into her arms and kissed her tenderly. “I’m ok with you doing absolutely anything which makes you happy, my love,” she said earnestly. “If you want to do a creative writing course, then fine. If you want to go to medical school, I’d support you too. If you want to run for president, I’ll be the best first lady ever. Well, aside from Michelle Obama, cos no one can beat her.”

Regina laughed and kissed Emma again. “I have no such lofty ambitions,” she said. “Just as simple book will do me fine.”

“Then I can’t wait to read the first draft,” Emma said. “And I’m sure this little one,” her hand covered her stomach again, “will be proud to read it when he or she grows up too.”

Regina hugged Emma tightly, relief flooding her body. She had never expected Emma to say no to her anticipated plans. But she had also not realised she had been craving Emma’s approval quite so much. To have received such a positive affirmation from her girlfriend made her eyes prickle with tears. Happy tears, of course. Because for the first time in Regina’s life, she was finally feeling exactly like the person she was always meant to be. A woman. A girlfriend. A future mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: there will be a time jump for the next chapter …


	35. Five Months Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is it, guys! The end. As I was boarding my flight home yesterday I did have a fleeting moment of panic that I wouldn’t make it and you’d be left forever wondering what happened to this delightful version of Emma and Regina we’ve created together over the past few months. But physics worked its magic (I’m not a confident flier) and here it is - the final chapter of Crazy Changes. Once again, thank you so much for your never-ending support. I was a little nervous about writing this fic but you guys were so welcoming and encouraging throughout. You’re all superstars and I’m sorry I’ve been so lax when it comes to replying to reviews. I love you all! And a special thank you, once again, to c.miller 1991 who steered me towards the song which inspired this fic.

**Five months later**

“So what do you want to do today?” Emma asked as she lowered herself gently into her chair. At almost seven months pregnant, moving around was becoming awkward and she was relieved to take some of the weight off her already aching feet.

“I don’t mind,” Regina replied, smiling at her fiancée over the rim of her coffee cup. “We can just chill here if you like.”

“Nope,” Emma said, shaking her head. “It’s your birthday and we have to do something special.”

Regina rolled her eyes. She had never been much of a birthday person and had insisted to Emma that they hadn’t needed to celebrate it at all. She had been unsurprised, however, when she had awoken that morning with a teetering tower of presents at the foot of her bed and Emma’s mouth working gently between her legs. The two orgasms she experienced via her fully functioning neo-clitoris had been amazing and as she opened her presents to discover Emma had spoilt her rotten, she didn’t have it in her heart to scold the blonde’s excessive spending on unnecessary purchases. She did, however, draw the line and dragging her heavily pregnant fiancée around to do something she had been putting off for months.

“I’m more than happy to be here with you, my love,” Regina insisted. “That’s special enough for me.”

Emma pouted but relented, leaning back in her chair and rubbing her hands over her swollen belly. A tiny kick answered the delicate touch and she smiled. Not long now, she thought to herself.

“Is there something you want to do?” Regina asked, interrupting Emma’s daydream of meeting their son for the first time.

“Just being with you,” Emma replied soppily.

Regina laughed and reached across the table, her own fingers splayed across Emma’s, their two diamonds catching the light as she did so. It was so perfectly them, they had agreed. Both women had bought the other an engagement ring, intending to propose over the Christmas period. But once Zelena and her family descended upon the cottage neither found the right moment to pop the question. So it had been on a rainy afternoon in the middle of January, just a few weeks earlier, that Emma and pulled the ring from her pocket and held it out for Regina. The brunette hadn’t even answered the question; she had simply removed the ring she herself had been carrying around for over a month, waiting for the perfect time.

Rather than having a shotgun wedding, they had both agreed to wait until after the baby was born. Which, according to their doctor, would be at the beginning of April. A date for the wedding had been set in early September, an autumnal theme decided for their special day. But before then, they had to get ready to welcome their son into the world. Emma had been against finding out the sex of the baby but Regina had wanted to. And then after less than ten minutes had passed as they drove home from the ultrasound, she had caved and asked Regina to tell her too. A boy.

“When’s your mother coming over?” Emma asked.

“Four thirty,” Regina replied, standing and heading to the sink to wash their breakfast dishes. She looked out towards the horse paddock and noticed all three animals standing expectantly by the gate, waiting for their master to visit them with some carrots, a new morning ritual she had fallen into.

“And you’re sure you don’t have to go to class today?” Emma asked.

“No,” Regina assured the blonde. “It’s an additional seminar and I’m not that interested in poetry anyway. I’d rather just relax on my birthday.”

Regina had enrolled in a creative writing course the previous month and was already seeing the improvement in her own writing. Although she had only outlined the overall structure of the somewhat autobiographical book, she was eager to get started and knew she was going to do the difficult subject matter justice.

“Well, since you’re bunking off, we really ought to do something to mark the occasion,” Emma remarked.

“Like put together that flatpack crib at last?” Regina suggested, eyebrows raised.

Emma glowered. She had battled with the wooden object for hours the weekend before and it was still in a heap in the newly painted nursery.

“Robin can do it this weekend,” she huffed. “And no, I want it to be something for you. Something indulgent. A spa? Or maybe we can go to the cinema and I’ll watch that movie about that weird artist you wanted to see?”

“But you don’t want to see it,” Regina said. “I don’t want to do something you don’t want to do.”

“It’s your birthday, I’ll do whatever makes you happy,” Emma replied simply.

Regina bit her lip. There was one thing she wanted to do. It wasn’t exactly something that would make her happy. At least, she didn't think it would. But it was something she needed to do.

“Tell me,” Emma urged, reading Regina’s facial expression perfectly and knowing there was something the brunette was holding back from her.

“You won’t get mad?” Regina asked timidly.

“I promise.”

* * *

Regina insisted on driving the whole way. It was a long distance and usually they would have shared the task but with Emma’s belly so swollen, Regina had deemed her unfit to sit behind the wheel. She was relieved, therefore, when she saw the sign looming ahead of her and indicated off the freeway. Beside her, Emma swallowed thickly.

“Are you ok?” Regina asked as they entered the town.

“Fine,” Emma nodded. “It’s just strange to be back.”

Regina nodded her agreement as the streets of Storybrooke slid by the windows. She recognised most of the places and even some of the people from the brief times she and Emma had spent there together. She didn’t miss it though, she felt no nostalgia for the place. Emma however, was looking out at the familiar streets with a longing expression. Regina felt a pang of guilt. The blonde had give up so much for them to be together and she made a silent promise to herself that the two of them would return more frequently in the future.

“Can we stop at the store for a moment?” Emma asked just as they left Storybrooke and passed a minute mart.

Regina nodded and pulled into the parking lot. Emma assured her she could wait in the car and ducked into the store, emerging five minutes later with a bag under her arm.

“Ok, let’s go,” she said.

Deciding not to ask what was in the bag, Regina steered them back onto the road and continued on their way towards Norwalk. As they approached the town, they saw the church, looming high on the hill above them. Wordlessly, Regina parked in the small lot beside the religious building and killed the engine.

“Are you sure about this?” Emma asked quietly.

“Yes,” Regina nodded, hands still gripping the steering wheel. “I need to do this, Emma. I need to close this chapter of my life before a new one begins.”

She rested her hand, engagement ring glinting in the weak February sunlight, on Emma’s stomach.

“Do you want me to come or do you want some time alone?”

“Give me ten minutes?” Regina suggested. “And then join me. You knew him too, after all. I’m sure you want to say goodbye as well.”

Emma nodded her understanding and leant across the middle console, kissing Regina chastely before the brunette slipped daintily from the vehicle, a bouquet of flowers clasped in her hands.

Pushing open the old wrought iron gate into the churchyard, Regina paused on the pathway as she realised she had no idea where her father’s grave was. Deciding she may as well just walk and search, she set off. It took her only a couple of minutes to find the newer headstones and then another minute to locate the black granite engraved with her father’s name.

_Henry Mills_

_08.10.1948 - 13.3.2016_

_A devout Christian and a loyal friend_

_Now at peace_

“Hello, Daddy,” Regina murmured as she stood at the foot of the grave.

She didn’t know exactly what she wanted to do when she came to the church. She didn't quite know why she had wanted to come in the first place, let alone on her birthday. But something had been nagging deep inside her, a niggling voice telling her it was something she needed to do. So she sat down on the cold ground, laid the bunch of white lilies on the grave and closed her eyes.

“I miss you,” she said in little more than a whisper. “Which is crazy because we hadn’t spoken in over ten years when you died. But I guess I was missing you that entire time too.”

She opened her eyes and glanced around. The graveyard was still deserted. Emma hadn’t followed her yet. She closed her eyes again.

“I read your letters,” she continued. “I don’t know if you ever even expected me to. You never sent them, after all. But I’ve read them. It took me a long time though. For months I didn’t want to know about them but Emma, you remember Emma, right? Emma hid them in our garage. I guess she knew I’d want to hear your words eventually. They hurt though, Daddy. I know you thought you were doing right by me, by us, when you left. You thought that leaving was the right thing for our relationship but it wasn’t. At least, not like that. You …” She trailed off, not sure quite how to express what her father’s sudden disappearance had done to her.

“You abandoned me, Daddy!” she exclaimed suddenly, eyes snapping open and glowering at the black stone before her. “I was fifteen and scared shitless and you just disappeared. You were supposed to be there for me, you were supposed to love me when I couldn’t even love myself. But you disappeared. You left me when I was feeling more alone and confused and vulnerable than I had ever felt in my life. Why, Daddy? Why did you do that?”

Regina swiped angrily at the tears which were now falling down her cheeks. She hadn’t wanted to do this. She hadn’t wanted to come to a graveyard and shout at a cold piece of granite. She didn’t even believe in life after death. She didn’t believe her father was watching down on her from heaven. But there was something about being there, sitting there, that made all those feelings, those emotions, that pain, bubble to the surface.

“I loved you, Daddy,” Regina whispered. “I loved you so much and you left. But then I read those letters and it was like you were trying to make things right. You must have known that wasn’t possible though. Too much had happened between us for words on paper to heal the wounds we caused one another. There was too much pain. There still is pain. There will always be pain.”

Regina took a deep breath and wiped her face. The next part she needed to say without tears.

“I hated you for a long time, Daddy,” she said. “But I don’t any more. I can’t forgive you for walking out on me and Ma and Zelena. What you did is unforgivable and something no father should ever do. But I can’t hate you because your actions, your choices, they brought me to Emma. Ma reckons we’re fated to be together and perhaps she’s right. But the fact remains that because of you, I met the love of my life, the mother of my unborn child, and the woman who accepts me for who I am. So thank you, Daddy. Thank you for bringing me and Emma together.”

She couldn’t help the smile which spread over her face as she spoke of her fiancée. Thoughts of Emma always made her smile and as she heard the crunch of gravel beneath boots, she turned and beamed at the woman herself. Emma cocked her head and returned Regina’s grin with a little less enthusiasm. To be honest, the image of Regina sat a the foot of her father’s grave smiling so widely was a little disturbing.

“Are you ok?” she asked as she reached the brunette, lowering herself down on the grass beside Regina and placing the bag she had been carrying next to her.

“Yeah,” Regina said, wiping away the last of her tears. “Yes, I’m good. I did what I needed to do.”

Emma smiled at that and turned to look at the grave of Henry Mills. She had never thought she would visit the site, let alone with Regina by her side. But once there, Emma realised she probably should have come earlier. The man may have behaved reprehensibly towards Regina but he had left his money to Emma who in turn was able to support Regina’s choice to have sex reassignment surgery. And he had also bankrolled their new house, their lifestyle, and, at the end of the day, their child’s future.

“Hey Henry,” she said quietly. “How are you doing?”

She wasn’t expecting an answer, of course. But she knew Henry had died believing in heaven so perhaps, somewhere, he really was watching over them.

“Thanks for … well, everything,” she finished at last. “You changed my life in the most unexpected of ways.” She glanced sideways at Regina and smiled. “I bet you never even imagined a scenario in which Regina and I fell in love and started a family but here we are. And it might not have been what you imagined for her future but I hope you can see she’s happy, that I’m happy. That’s what every parent wants for their kid, right? Happiness.”

Regina nodded in agreement. She hoped her father would be proud of her, wherever he was. Because she was happy. She had Emma, she had their son on the way, she was thriving being back in an academic environment, and she had ambitions. What more had Henry Mills ever wanted for Jacob?

A distant roll of thunder echoed off the surrounding hills and the dark clouds which had been hovering nearby all morning closed in. Emma and Regina glanced up at the sky in unison and then at each other.

“We’d better be going,” Emma said, taking Regina’s offered hand and heaving herself to her feet. “We don’t want you grandson getting wet, do we!”

Regina chuckled and moved to the headstone. Kissing the tips of her fingers, she rested them on the cool marble.

“Goodbye, Daddy,” Regina whispered. “I miss you.”

Emma walked to the other side and lifted the item she had bought out of the bag at last. Regina raised her eyebrows.

“Beer?”

“Kalik,” Emma amended. “It seemed only fitting.”

Regina rolled her eyes but said nothing as Emma laid the pack of bottles beside the gravestone.

“Bye, Henry,” she said. “Thank you for Regina.”

Regina smiled at her fiancée and together they headed back to the path. Once on it, their fingers interlaced. It wasn’t until they were back at the car that either one of them spoke however.

“Are you ok?” Emma asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Regina nodded. “Yeah, I am. I needed to do that. Thank you for coming with me.”

“Anything for the birthday girl,” Emma grinned. “Although I do have something slightly more enjoyable planned for this evening.”

“You planned something?” Regina frowned. “When?”

“Well, it was more Kathryn than me,” Emma admitted as Regina started the car and began to drive back home. “She was complaining that she hadn’t seen you since Christmas and then I suggested she and the girls come over for dinner tonight. Don’t worry, we’re ordering take-out and your mother’s joining us too.”

“Really?” Regina said, a wide grin on her face.

Emma beamed at the positive response. She had thought the evening plan would be well received but that was before Regina had announced that her birthday wish was to visit her father’s graveyard. After that, she had been slightly more dubious about whether Regina would be in a festive mood. Apparently, however, seeing Henry Mills’ final resting place had made Regina, if possible, even happier about her birthday.

“You’re really ok about having come back here?” she asked as they drove out of Norwalk.

“I needed to,” Regina said simply. “I needed to confront him, Ems. I needed to tell him how I felt. Now I have, I can move on with my life. My life with you and our son.”

“Speaking of which,” Emma said. “Now we know the sex of our little munchkin we really need to start thinking about names.”

Regina nodded her agreement, thinking a healthy argument about the pros and cons of names would be a great way to fill the three hour travel time between Storybrooke and their cottage.

“Ok, have you got any ideas?” she asked.

“A few,” Emma nodded. “But I know one name for sure we can veto.”

“Oh yeah?” Regina asked. “And what’s that?”

“Henry.”

There was a pause before both women burst out laughing. Emma and Regina giggled together for the next five minutes, marvelling independently at how far they had both come. Not only was Regina now strong enough to face her father, or his headstone, but the two of them were able to joke about the past. What had happened was no laughing matter. It was terrible and wrong and should never have occurred. But now … now everything was different, new, better. With one by the side of the other, Regina and Emma knew whatever life threw at them, whatever crazy changes occurred in the future, they’d tackle them together. Forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I love you all. Please go and YouTube ‘People are Crazy Billy Currington now …’


	36. Christmas with Swans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Merry Christmas one and all! I couldn’t resist dropping a little present in your inbox stocking today. I hope you like this little addition to our favourite ladies’ story. Festive greetings to all my wonderful readers and I’ll see you in the new year for my next AU story!

Tiny hands readjusted their grip around the bunched pillowcase, preparing to heave. The lumpy sack slid a little way down the hall. Huffing, he stood, hands on hips, frowning at the oversized object. With a determined glint in his eye, he grasped the fabric again.

Finally, after several minutes, his pyjama-clad butt nudged the closed door of the room he was heading for. Reaching up, he turned the handle and continued his laborious journey into the darkened room. Two bodies beneath the covers stirred slightly as he entered. At last, he deposited the pillowcase beside the bed and moved towards the women still asleep.

“Mom?” he asked, a finger reaching out and poking her face gently.

“Mmm?” came the confused mumble, eyes screwing up tighter.

“Mom, it’s Christmas.”

Lips quirked into a smile and eyes snapped open. “It is, isn’t it,” Emma said, throwing back the duvet and helping her son climb into the bed.

The warm body burrowed against her as she kissed his head before he slithered over Emma’s body and landed, slightly heavily, on his second mother.

“Ompf,” Regina groaned, her arms wrapping around the squirming body.

“Mama, it’s Christmas,” the boy repeated, now sitting on top of Regina’s chest and grinning between the two sleepy women.

“And did Santa visit?” Emma asked, earnest excitement on her face.

“Yep!” came the shouted reply. “Look!”

He scrambled off the bed and landed heavily on the floor where he tried to lift the bulging pillowcase up to the mattress. Emma jumped out of bed to help him.

“Wow! Santa has been generous, hasn’t he,” Emma said, seeing for the first time that the number of presents she and Regina had bought were actually bigger than their son.

“Because I was the best three year old in the world this year,” came the confident reply.

Emma and Regina nodded their agreement and Emma climbed back into the warm bed. Nestled between them, a mother comfortingly on either side and a sack of presents before him, Timmy smiled widely.

“Can I start?” Timmy asked.

“You’d better,” Regina laughed. “Otherwise we’ll still be unwrapping when the rest of the family arrives.”

An hour later and the bed and most of the room was strewn with wrapping paper, toys and clothes and books buried beneath the mess. Timmy was laughing, wearing a pair of reindeer antlers and a new bomber jacket. His fingers were sticky, melted chocolate coating their tips and chocolate coin wrappers discarded in his lap. Emma and Regina were sat back, smiling in satisfaction at how well all the presents were received.

“Right, kid,” Emma said when the final present was unwrapped. “What do you say you go and wash those hands and then I’ll come and help you get dressed.”

“I can get dressed by myself,” Timmy insisted, sucking the chocolate from his fingers and then climbing laboriously out of the bed. His two little feet hit the floor and at once pattered out of the room, antlers wobbling as he went.

Regina and Emma looked at each other and, in unison, leaned in for their morning kiss.

“Merry Christmas,” Regina murmured as she pulled away.

“Merry Christmas,” Emma repeated. “Do you think we spoilt him?” she added, looking around at the mess of their bedroom.

“He deserves it,” Regina shrugged. “He’s a good kid.”

“I know,” Emma said, as she threw back the covers. Regina stayed where she was, reaching for the dilator to begin her daily practice.

Emma dressed quickly and headed down the hallway to find their son. She bumped into him coming out of his bedroom, underwear on but nothing else.

“Um, that’s not exactly dressed, Timmy,” Emma laughed.

“I want to wear my new onesie,” he replied, pushing past Emma and into his mothers’ bedroom.

Of course, Emma thought to herself, she should have known. She could hear Regina talking to the small boy, the two of them searching through the pile of presents until they found what they wanted.

“Emma,” Regina called after a moment.

Entering their bedroom, the blonde could tell at once that Timmy needed help getting into the outfit and Regina, who had already inserted the dilator, was unable to get up. She crossed the room and knelt to help Timmy with the buttons and pulled the hood up when she had finished.

“Well?” he asked, arms widespread.

“The best minion I ever saw,” Emma said fervently.

Satisfied with his mother’s answer, Timmy took off out of the room once more, shouting something about having chocolate for breakfast. Emma turned to Regina and rolled her eyes.

“Meet you downstairs?”

Regina nodded and beckoned her wife to her side, reaching up to grasp the front of the blonde’s sweater as soon as Emma was close enough. The kiss was soft and tender and Emma felt her heart swell at the simple expression of love.

“Champagne or coffee?”

“Both,” Regina replied.

“And that’s why I married you,” Emma laughed.

“Among other reasons,” Regina grinned. “Now, please go downstairs and stop our son from making himself sick on chocolate spread. Again.”

Emma kissed Regina once more and left quickly, memories of Timmy’s projectile vomiting in the summer too fresh in her mind. She found him clambering onto a chair which he’d dragged across the kitchen and placed directly beneath the cupboard where they kept the Nutella.

“Timothy,” Emma frowned, hands on hips.

Frozen in place kneeling on the chair, he turned, the pleading look on his face already perfected and he knew Emma would give him what he wanted.

“Sit down and I’ll get it for you,” Emma sighed. “One slice of toast or two?”

“Two please,” Timmy replied, both feet now on the ground once more. “And chocolate.”

“Yeah, I got that bit,” Emma chuckled, opening the cupboard and picking up the half empty jar. She left it on the counter as she made the toast, not trusting Timmy anywhere near the pot without supervision after last time. Two pieces spread with Nutella soon appeared in front of the overexcited minion. Emma sat beside him, her own toast also smothered in chocolate. Regina raised her eyebrows when she entered five minutes later.

“Well I can see you two have been having fun,” she said, reaching for the champagne flute and taking her seat opposite her family.

“Mom started it,” Timmy insisted.

“I did not!” Emma protested, trying to school her face into the picture of innocence.

“Fifteen minutes and you descend into a food fight,” Regina said, leaning over and beginning to wipe the chocolate from all over Timmy’s face.

“It’s Christmas,” Timmy reasoned.

“And since when has slapping your toast covered in Nutella all over me been a Christmas tradition?” Emma asked.

Timmy pondered the question for a moment before answering. “Since now?”

Emma and Regina both laughed. “Come on,” Regina said. “I think you need a bath.”

“But Grandma’s coming soon,” Timmy frowned. “And Auntie Zee and Uncle Rob. I don’t want to miss them.”

“Tim, it’s,” she glanced at her watch, “seven fifteen. They’re not arriving here until eleven.”

“They might be early,” he argued.

“Your aunt has never been early for anything in her life,” Regina grinned. “Come on Mr bath-phobic.”

“That’s not my name,” Timmy frowned. “My name is Timmy Swan.”

“It is,” Regina nodded. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not having baths. And anyway, swans like water.”

“I’m not a real swan though, am I?” Timmy said as he slid from his chair and took Regina’s hand in his own sticky one.

Emma smiled as she watched the two of them walk out the kitchen, calling after Regina that she’d take care of the animals. She washed the chocolate off her face and dried it on the towel. Grabbing a coat from the hallway, Emma stuffed her feet into two wellington boots and headed outside. The sky was lightening slowly and she could already hear the faint clucking and cooing of her hens as she approached the large run. Opening up their huts, she released the chickens and ducks, the birds swarming around her legs as she waded her way over to their feed area.

“Here you go,” Emma said. “Merry Christmas my babies.”

They ignored her, of course, and began pecking at once at the grain she had poured out. Leaving them to it, Emma closed the pen up and headed towards the end of the garden. Even through the gloom she could make out the three animals waiting at the gate. They really were creatures of habit.

“Morning guys,” Emma said as she reached the horses. “Merry Christmas.”

Harper rubbed her nose against Emma’s shoulder and Titan snorted his response. Betty just looked cooly at her, as if she was waiting to see what her present was going to be before passing judgement. The three horses followed Emma across the frosty ground to the stables and peered curiously into the tack and feed room as she sorted out their breakfasts. Chopping up some carrots and apples, Emma finally mixed it all together and picked up the three buckets.

“Move, Titan,” Emma said, backing out of the tack room and nudging the inquisitive and greedy horse out of the way so she could walk to where they were fed.

After pulling Harper away from Betty’s food and getting her to eat her own food, Emma stood back in satisfaction and watched all three heads buried in their buckets, munching contentedly. She rarely thought about it these days but it sometimes struck her how far she had come with these great animals. Over the months and years since they had brought the cottage, her fear of them had completely disappeared. She had begun to ride when Timmy was one and now loved to hack out, either with Regina or on her own, depending on the women’s work schedule and what was happening with their son.

It had been an adjustment, of course, having Timmy. Their lives had changed so much, however, that Emma and Regina took everything in their stride. It also helped that Regina had finished her semester just before the baby had been born and had been around for the first few months. Emma had insisted she go back to school in September and continue her education, however. Much as she loved having Regina around, she knew writing the book was important. And it had been. The autobiographical account of her transition had been published that summer and achieved huge success, leading to several interviews with magazines and even a couple of television appearances. Already, Regina was writing again. During her classes, she had developed a penchant for poetry and was currently putting together her first anthology. Emma couldn’t be prouder.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Titan, who always finished first, kicked over his bucket as he walked towards Emma, seeking out a treat.

“Greedy,” Emma murmured as she reached into her pocket for a mint.

The horse snaffled it up, hot breathe puffing in the cold winter air. Emma scratched his nose, making his lips flap in search of more food which wasn’t there. She laughed and placed a kiss to the soft fur of his face, breathing in that familiar horse smell.

When all three horses had eaten, Emma picked up the empty buckets and put them back in the tack room. Saying goodbye to each of them, she picked her way back across the hard ground and into the garden.

* * *

“Roland, Robyn, come look!” Timmy called as soon as his cousins noisily entered the cottage later that morning.

He was sat on the floor in the lounge, surrounded by train tracks and still dressed in his minion onesie. After his bath, the small boy had almost exploded with excitement when his mothers had pointed out the large present standing beside the Christmas tree. The train set had been unwrapped within seconds and the pieces strewn over the floor. Emma stood up to greet their guests, leaving Timmy to continue his engineering task. Roland dashed straight past Emma and headed for the new toy. Robyn followed.

“Merry Christmas,” Emma said as she entered the hallway and hugged Zelena, Robin, Cora and Jonathan.

She took the bags of present Robin handed her and beckoned everyone through to the living room. Timmy barely acknowledged the adults’ presence and merely grunted when Cora bent down to kiss the crown of his head.

“Where’s Regina?” Cora asked. The group had simply let themselves in instead of ringing the doorbell.

“Panicking,” came the brunette’s voice from the doorway. “Ma, help me.”

Emma stifled a laugh as she took in her wife’s frazzled appearance. She still wasn't sure why the woman had insisted on cooking everything herself without help from anyone. Not that Emma herself would have been help but her mother-in-law made an incredible roast dinner, to that Emma could testify. Regina however, had wanted to go it alone.

“Hi sis,” Zelena said with a slight smirk. “Need a hand?”

“No, I’ve got this,” Regina said, convincing no one.

Cora and Regina disappeared and the four remaining adults sank onto the couch to watch the children. Already Robyn and Roland were squabbling over who got which train whilst Timmy looked on, unsure quite what was happening, being an only child. Not that he minded, he had everything he needed in his mothers.

“No, put the potatoes in now and then you can just leave them in the grill if they’re done early to keep them warm,” Cora reasoned.

“But what about the carrots?” Regina asked, looking in despair at the vast amount of food she had yet to prepare.

“Pass me a peeler,” Cora said. “And they don’t take long to cook. We can do them half an hour before. Do you want to get chopping on the Brussel sprouts?”

“We’re not having any,” Regina said, moving to stand beside her mother and attacking a carrot with vigour.

“No brussels?” Cora frowned.

“Emma hates them,” Regina said. “Claims she’s allergic and won’t let me bring them in the house.”

“Your wife has you wrapped around her little finger,” Cora laughed.

“It works both ways,” Regina shrugged. “I’ve banned her from trying to make me eat mushrooms ever again. She went through a phase of trying to sneak them into our meals but I could always tell and we’d end up with no dinner.”

“You’re ridiculous, the two of you,” Cora declared.

“We’ll do anything for those we love, right?” Regina mused. “Look at you. Who’d have thought you’d even know the difference between a peony and a poppy.”

“Those are very different plants,” Cora said. “I think even amateurs would be able to distinguish between the -.”

She stopped when she noticed her daughter laughing at her and picked up some carrot peelings to throw at her.

“Stop!” Regina squealed and the orange strands landed in her hair and fell with a soft slap onto the work surface and floor. “This must be where Timmy gets it from.”

“Gets what from?”

“His love of food fights,” Regina said. “I came down this morning and found Emma’s face covered in chocolate spread.”

Cora laughed. “That is the most spoilt child in the world.”

“In a bad way?”

“In the best way,” Cora insisted. “The love you and Emma have for that boy is incredible. He’s so lucky to have you both.”

“We’re lucky to have him,” Regina pointed out. “It wasn’t exactly planned but I wouldn’t change anything that happened for the world now.”

* * *

After the Christmas lunch, which was far more successful than Regina had anticipated, everyone unanimously decided to leave the mountain of washing until later and retired to the living room. The floor was now criss-crossed with train tracks and the children were happily pushing their engines around. Once everyone was settled with a cup of tea, Cora pulled out her presents.

“I hope you like them,” she said as she handed over two identical thin, rectangular parcels for her daughters. “They’re for both of you, as couples.”

In unison, Regina and Zelena ripped into their presents, revealing a framed photo. Each held a photograph of their respective couple taken at Cora and Jonathan’s wedding that summer.

“Oh, Ma!” Zelena exclaimed as she gazed at the image. “It’s beautiful.”

The picture showed Robin pressing a kiss to Zelena’s temple, the redhead’s eyes closed and a serene smile on her face at the feel of her husband’s love.

“Yeah, this is incredible,” Regina nodded as she looked over the frame in her hands. “Amazing photo.”

In theirs, Emma was stood behind Regina, her arms looped around the brunette’s waist. Regina was leaning backwards, mouth open in a laugh at something a grinning Emma had said. By Regina’s ankles sat Timmy in his miniature tuxedo with a sleepy expression on his face.

“Well it’s easy to take good photos when you have beautiful people and an amazing photographer. Thanks again for recommending your friend, Emma.”

“She’s good, right?” Emma grinned. “And thank you, Cora. This is stunning. A beautiful reminder of a beautiful day.”

“You know what I realised the other day?” Zelena said as she wrapped the picture back up and leant it carefully against the couch. “No one in this family has the name Mills any more.”

The rest of them pondered that fact for a moment before realising it was true. Zelena had become a Locksley when she married years ago. When Emma and Regina had tied the knot over three years previous, Regina had insisted on taking Emma’s name rather than double-barrelling. “I need to move on,” she had reasoned. And although Cora had been divorced from Henry for over a decade, it wasn’t until she had married Jonathan in the summer that she had finally changed her name from Mills.

“Well, I suppose it’s -.”

“Mom!” Robyn bellowed, interrupting whatever Regina had been about to say. “Roland took my train!”

Zelena rolled her eyes and dropped to her knees, suggesting perhaps Robyn could play with a different train since Timmy had so many.

“Is that a jibe at how spoilt he is?” Regina asked as he sister sat back down, the previous subject forgotten. Probably for the best.

“Ours are spoilt too,” Robin admitted. “We got both of them iPads this year.”

“No, Santa got them for us,” Robyn said, looking up with a frown.

Zelena elbowed Robin whose mouth had fallen open in shock, unaware his daughter had been listening to the conversation. The rest of the adults were trying not to burst out laughing.

* * *

“Well that was the best Christmas ever,” Emma said as she fell into bed later that night after checking their son was sleeping soundly.

“How so?” Regina asked, closing her book and putting it aside.

“Everyone did the washing up so we don’t have to and I got the new lens for my camera. Thank you, by the way,” she added. “And Timmy didn’t throw up after eating all those jelly beans despite Robyn jumping on his stomach. I’d say that was a pretty damn good Christmas.”

“Agreed,” Regina laughed. “But it’s not over.”

Reaching over into the bedside table, she pulled out a final, small box.

“Another present?” Emma asked as she took the offering. “But you’ve already bought me so much.”

“I like buying you things,” Regina reasoned. “Plus I kind of bought one for myself too.”

Emma began to unwrap the small gift, unsurprised to see a jewellery box when the paper fell away. Opening it, she gasped at the delicate necklace resting there. A white gold swan encircled in a pendant. Regal, simple, and utterly perfect.

“Gina,” Emma said, lifting the necklace away and dangling it between her fingers. “It’s stunning.”

“You like it?”

“I love it,” Emma said, “without sounding bigheaded.”

“I’m glad,” Regina said, opening the dressing gown Emma suddenly realised her wife was wearing in bed.

She frowned until she saw an identical pendant glinting on Regina’s chest and … nothing else. Regina stood from the bed to drop her gown and allowed Emma’s eyes to feast on her bare flesh.

“Every time,” Emma murmured. “Every time I see you I wonder how I got so lucky.”

Regina back climbed onto the bed and was on top of Emma in a second.

“We’re both lucky, Ems,” she said. “We found each other at the right time in both our lives. And our son, he’s the luckiest Swan of all.”

“I love you,” Emma said, fingers trailing up between Regina’s breasts and over the swan resting there.

“I love you too,” Regina said, taking Emma’s own necklace and clasping it before beginning to undress her wife.

Once they were both naked, except for the necklaces, they pulled back the covers and, bodies intertwined, gave each other one last Christmas present.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: and the song this chapter was based on is called People Are Crazy by Billy Currington. Please watch the video - it’s super easy to find on YouTube! Obviously I had to fiddle around a little to make it fit SwanQueen but I think it works. Anyway, the concept of the song was the springboard for this fic idea and you’ll get a vague hint as to where this is all going from the lyrics. Thoughts?


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